Why does my friend get made at one mistake I made and not the other?

[Msnsns]

She got mad that I didn't follow up after a car accident and went off on me that she does so much even though I do too. I called her when it happened but because I didn't do it twice but her friend who she helped made a baby shower for, said her friend never did anything for her and is selfish but she never complained even though her friend used up her time and money for the shower. How is that fair? She said I'm her closest friend but still that makes no sense

[CupcakeTheDestroyer]

If she got mad at you for not calling her with urgency after she didn’t answer, it sounds like she’s more using that as an excuse to let out her guilt and her own worry over the fact that you were in a car accident and she didn’t know what had happened. I wouldn’t take it too personally but maybe you can both discuss that tomorrow morning, after you both have had some time to calm down.

[Msnsns]

No it was her. She was in a car accident. I called her when it happened to see if she was okay. She got upset that I didn't call when she got home. But I'm saying she doesn't respond this way to her firend that she invested all her time and energy to even if the friend is self-centered.

[CupcakeTheDestroyer]

Ah, I see. I still think this would be better addressed in the morning when everyone is calm, and you can ask why it seems she holds the two of you to different expectations and how that makes you feel.

[Msnsns]

I thought to answer her back then but I'm not sure. She acts differently with everyone else but me

[CupcakeTheDestroyer]

So why not ask her? Show her evidence of this behavior difference and ask why she does this with you and no one else

[Msnsns]

She doesn't believe her tone sounds wrong. She makes it sound different. So that's why I don't want to bother. She tells me she wasn't yelling or mad
So it's like why bring it up if she doesn't see herself that way or doesn't want that correction?

[CupcakeTheDestroyer]

Let her know if she doesn’t change her behavior, you won’t be her friend anymore. It sounds like the relationship is a strain on you mentally anyway

[Msnsns]

But it's the same response every time I mention this to her. She apologizes but still need to justify it

[CupcakeTheDestroyer]

Then draw the line in the sand. If she does it again, you cut her off and never speak to her again

[Guy13]

Don’t overthink it. 💩 happens