Do you think my friend has a sugar daddy?

[LaFemmeFatale_1]

So… I met a girl year ago and I helped her find a job and come here, she was very eager to be friends with me, but I didn’t consider her to be a suitable friendship candidate so I never responded. Until this January, in January, I was recovering from a break up and needed someone to have some adventures with, I finally responded to her and we went to the trips together. Since January, she has been my responsibility.

And I am just a year older than her.

She quit her job in January as soon as she saw what a cool city I lived in. However, his boss loves her so she managed to maintain her visa without any issues. So she came to me and has been staying with me for 3 months.

I am a very self-sufficient person, if I see no romantic potential with a man, I don’t accept his gifts, nor his offers and nor I waste my time talking with him.

What I’ve noticed though is that she mostly has make friends, most of them rich and some of them married.

She’s a nice girl though and I tried to help her and support her, but as I see she has lots of people who support her and she still stays with me.

I, on the other hand, don’t accept help from anyone, and I feel like I am one of many people who help her.

She’s been living like this since 17, always someone helping her and she didn’t even have to work.

Today, I went out from shower and we shared each other secrets, and she doesn’t seem to hide things from me, however, today I heard she was talking with a married man, who’s a millionaire and that man was saying something, when she saw I cane out she quickly hung up. I was surprised. I know this man is married and I am in no position to judge, it’s just I feel I am her sugar mama.

I told her she needs to get her own place and she started trying, but I think her trying mainly means her getting in touch with older married man. I don’t feel like our personalities match.

Updates

1 y

I adore her, she’s cute and I feel like she’s helped me overcome my break up but I don’t want to feel like one of her sugar mamas just like she’s not willing to try harder to be self sufficient and live her life independently.

I am not used to be the one who’s always giving and giving, and in our friendship I feel like I am the one giving and she has nothing to contribute to our friendship, at least in this situation when I can’t even be alone at my own apartment

Updates

1 y

work my a** off and help her, while she enjoys being sent money from different men. (I know at least two occasions when these businessmen sent her money, but she said it was just a loan, I now doubt that).
So, I am not against her living her life the way she wants, but I think I am in no position to help someone who obviously doesn’t need my help.

[dynamicyandere]

From what you describe, she is really giving off sugar baby vibes. Always receiving financial support from friendships or situationships by leveraging her beauty and charm.


If she’s receiving “loans” shouldn’t she be working hard to find a job to pay it off?


It seems like she’s stalling or honestly haven’t truly hustled a day in her life, so is unfamiliar with how to work hard for her money.


I don’t blame you for feeling tired. You’re working hard, and for long hours, and you’re coming home to some who you babysit.

[dynamicyandere]

Sugar babies are at least upfront about things though. When things are ambiguous and misinterpreted as genuine love or friendship (when it’s actually not) then it goes into more gold-digger territory.

[LaFemmeFatale_1]

Hey 😇

I just realized that we’ve literally been friends for just 4 months and she’s lived 3 months with me already.

My mom was warning me not to get too close to her and set strict boundaries with her but I just didn’t see it coming. Because I am not that type of person.

But I am really so tired and disappointed because even though I don’t think she’s a perfect friend, I felt like we were friends and the more time goes, the more I realize that’s not a friendship, that’s being parasite.

I have warm feelings to her though, I am sure she has the same, but it’s just her personality.

And I don’t like having my friendship taken as granted.

[LaFemmeFatale_1]

I don’t mean myself being a sugar mama, but I do feel like one lol and I don’t even get any benefits.

I like being babied myself, not like a sugar baby, lol, but I am jot the one who likes babysitting others haha. I can help but I don’t like being trapped in that responsibility.

[dynamicyandere]

Hey. 🙂

Yeah, I mean…That’s what a “good” sugar baby knows how to do, right? Charm. One needs to be charismatic to compel people to want to help and support them for free. And it’s ambiguous, the friendship, being a mix of possibly warm feelings yet also looking out for herself above all. It’s multilayered and complicated.

And yeah, it does feel like your friendship is taken for granted. Which is really unfortunate, since you have a good heart for wanting to take her in, and any true friend would feel really grateful for your hospitality. But by her taking her sweet time to find work and move out, she’s acting entitled.

[dynamicyandere]

I like taking care of others, but the relationship needs to be genuine. I’ve been taken advantage of before too, and it’s not fun. When all I am is a drug that makes them feel good or a financial provider. A genuine friendship or a meaningful relationship is all I ask for.

[GoodGuyBreakingBad]

I think you should move on with life without her. It appears she is looking for people she can get money off and use them and my advice is telling her you need her to get out ASAP when she sees that she no longer sees you are willing to help her then maybe she will take the hint by all means if you are renting then you will have to evict her from your place or if you are buying your place you will have to evict her too.

[LaFemmeFatale_1]

I already told her she needs to get her own place, I told her to find a job and get a place because I need some alone time or I will feel stressed and not relaxed.

She started searching but is the job didn’t hire her and she thinks the rent is too expensive so she is trying but kind of slowly, she’s in no hurry. I am tired tho.

[GoodGuyBreakingBad]

@lafemmefatale_1 Sorry about these problems

[GoodGuyBreakingBad]

Thanks for MHO :-)

[Grond21]

It sounds like she has a nice personality, but in general is a free loader and is taking advantage of you.

[LaFemmeFatale_1]

Just looked up the meaning of “free loader” and that fits her personality so well. I feel like that’s all the is skilled at.

[Grond21]

Yes. Which means, I am sad to say, she isn't your friend. She may be fun to be around, but she is a leech on your hard earned success

[PointTaken]

Maybe. Or she's a prostitute? Who knows unless you ask her.

[msc545]

She is a prostitute. Get rid of her.

[Gent207-2]

Get rid of her

[In_Trance]

probably not