I have tried to find "the" girl to potentially be with for over a decade but girls nowadays seem broken in my opinion. If you answer this do not give me some generic response such as -- "maybe you're looking for the wrong girls" or "maybe you're wrong" or "we don't do those things" or "why are you generalizing an entire gender". To answer those pre-conceived questions, 1) I don't party, I don't sleep around, I don't do drugs so I stay away from certain girls who behave poorly or realized what she was about and distanced myself from her. 2) I have worked on myself, minded my own business, work two jobs and go to school, therefore I am not chasing women. 3) After a decade of dealing with women who deal with depression, anxiety, trust issues and etc.
I used to think a girl with trust issues is someone a guy should help emotionally but that doesn't lead anywhere because she will be a negative/argumentative female who doesn't appreciate a good dude in her life. Plus I've lost count how many times I have heard personally, or read in magazines/books, tv shows or movies "why are all guys the same". I'm not a doofus guy without a spine, I will call out a woman for her shit. I know this comment may garner no comments or I'll receive backlash but at the end of the day, I am not going to diminish my confidence thinking I am the issue. I am not going to dump my problems on others, I make others laugh and I prefer working out, learning, reading or playing sports to help sharpen my mind and be in a better mood.
What Girls Said
I personally think it is to do with our culture in this modern period. Men have this standard which seem impossible to achieve, so either they just live with not achieving it and turn into players or they try their best to achieve it and become amazing gentlemen. Equally, women have an unrealistic standard to attempt to achieve too, so either they give up and try and play with everyone or they strive to achieve this standard and become decent people. In this scenario, the only people that work out is if the types of people who strive for these goals get with each other before getting hurt or damaged or traumatised by others who are just there for the fun while younger. Of course it isn’t as blunt as this, but I believe it is hard to have only very healthy relationships so you end up getting battered and bruised whether you strive to achieve these standards or not.
Lots of people also have many different types, which again doesn't help these unrealistic standards.
I basically think it is just people’s standards being too high nowadays and too many players or people who ‘want to get with the most people before they have to settle down’, causing a lot of damage to anyone and everyone’s hearts. It isn’t their fault, it is just how our society has turned out.
I see so many broken guys on Instagram reading comments of a girl broke my heart, she rejected me, she cheated on me, she divorced me. Obviously I don't know these guys so maybe they caused her to do that but I would like to think that there are good guys out there who do treat a girl well but there are girls who like that toxic, cat n mouse, drama life style where she isn't used to a normal relationship, she wants tension and that's not healthy. Im using dating apps to try and meet girls but either they are bots or don't respond or don't have "time", once my subscription is over in January, im deleting all dating apps and deleting my account, its pointless to use them as a guy, dating apps work against guys but favour girls heavily.
A lot of guys are also toxic and I have unfortunately been subject to many of their games. For me guys tend to just play with my heart, try pull at it and push it around then leave it damaged. So it works for both ways. I would like to think there are some girls that treat people right but it's hard to find anyone who hasn't been played with before so this causes this tense atmosphere and makes it hard to find someone who actually appreciates you. I think dating apps are usually places where people try to just get around with as many people as possible with very little genuine people. It works against girls who actually are looking for someone real too, there are so many bots on those sites and so many arrogant people who think many others are a waste of time.
What I don't understand is people shouldn't have extremely high expectations. If two people find each attractive, have the same views on core matters like morals/values, religion, education then they should communicate and try and make it work. Problem is, from my point of view as a guy, when a girl has 10 other guys who may fit that mould, is she talking to them for attention and have fun or is she being serious to narrow down who she wants to be with. In today's narcissistic world everything is about attention. I have lost hope finding a girl, I want to remain optimistic but I've been asking these questions even more then a decade ago on Yahoo Answers which doesn't even exist anymore, that's how long is has been. I have taken advice from find someone at school, join a club on campus, use dating apps, maybe some at work, maybe through friends and nothing has worked. Right now, I work 2 jobs, heading back to school for grad related stuff in January, I'm busy, going to the gym. I'm hoping things change in 2024 for me. But it's getting tougher trusting girls these days. A girl shouldn't mind fuck a guy where he's in paranoia. This is what I hate about society because I would think someone who loves dogs would not want to mind fuck a dog and toy with its feelings. So people will give a dog unconditional love but be turned off by someone who loves them, last time I checked dogs don't pay for the bills. I like animals but this world is weird man and again it's hard for me to trust people.
I get that, for me I keep getting played. Even if lots of guys say they want me, it seems in the end they were also just playing with me. It happens to everyone, not just guy and not just girls, it makes this world so hard to trust anyone. But then again, it makes it so much more special once you finally find the right person.
are you big on dating apps? or do you prefer the old school way, guy musters up the courage to ask you out.
I am 16 so I have never gotten a dating app and don't think I will ever get one to be honest. I prefer the old school way for sure, I think it is much more genuine and real.