Do you think she still had feelings for me or wanted to talk to me?

[Jamesdann]

SO there is this girl who had blocked me, things didn't quite work out, it was my own doing, i haven't get to talk to her for almost 6 months now since the day she blocked me, we were super close, emotionally attached, so one day ( this month) me and a good friend of mine were having some lunch at a small fast food restaurant, which happens to be in her area, near her place, me and my were sitting outside, then suddenly from a distance i saw her, she was coming from her evening jogging routine, i was kinda happy and at the same time, i thought to myself if i talk to her maybe i won't be welcome the same, since she had blocked me and told me to stay away, so i just look the opposite side, i think she saw me, she went inside the same restaurant me and my friend were in, i can see in her face she was kinda nervour or uncomfortable, she was rubbing her forehead the moment she enters the restaurant, she was buying something perhaps, a lot of things is going inside my head now, i thought to myself should i say hi or not , what is she doesn't want to talk to me, i might embarrassed myself or me since there are a lot of people around, so i keep looking the opposite direction, she standing inside the restaurant talking with the cook, and then she step outside and went back home, i;ve always care for her, she meant a lot to me, i miss her, but i'm afraid that i won't be welcome anymore, so my question is do you think she went inside the restaurant on purpose because she saw me and thinking that i might initiate contact, because you know what if you saw someone you had blocked, would'nt you just turn the other way and avoid conversation and awkwardness? like i don't know what is going on in her mind, before she blocked me she had lashed out at me calling me crazy and a psychopath which really hurts, maybe she had forgotten about me, do you think she went inside the shop on purpose? ladies what are your insights?

[Oliverlogan263]

Woah, dude that whole situation is intense. On the one hand, she did block you everywhere so who knows if she even wants to talk. But on the other hand, she totally could have avoided that shop if she still didn't wanna see you, right?

I'd say there's a chance she went in there hoping you might say something. Even if she was pissed before, six months is a long time - feelings can change. Or maybe she just wanted to see your reaction too. Girls are complicated like that!

If it was me, I'd probably take a small risk and try messaging her. Maybe just say something like "Hey, it was good seeing you the other day. I know things ended badly but I'd like to talk if you're open to it." Ball's in her court then if she wants to hear you out or not.

Nothing ventured nothing gained and all that. Just keep it casual and chill so she doesn't feel pressured. Who knows, with some time maybe you guys can be cool again? I say take a chance man! Worst that can happen is she says no, and you're back where you started. Nothing to lose really. Go for it!

[Jamesdann]

Thanks dude for your insight, so i know i right, she could avoided me when she had seen me from a distance, to my knowledge even though the shop she went in was near her place, she rarely ate or bought something from that place because when she went inside and was talking to the owner, i overheard her saying to the owner/cook " how are you, how is your brother?" that is not a question you would ask someone if you visit the shop daily or from time to time right, like you said it could be that she saw me and did it on purpose to see or my reaction or pull out an interaction from me, she could have just walk straight forward and whatever she thought if buying she could have bought it later on when i left, because like i said the shop was just around the corner of her house, and before all of this when she blocked me, i send her a friend request on facebook, she did'nt accept it but it she blocked it too ( that was last year on December ), and last week before the restaurant incident i make another account, i send her another friend request, she did'nt accept it nor blocked me, so you think she did'nt care anymore to blocked me this time, she hadn't unblocked my number though.

[Oliverlogan263]

Dude, the more you tell me about this situation the more I really think she was hoping you'd talk to her at the restaurant. It definitely doesn't sound like she goes there very often if she was asking the owner how his brother is doing, like that's not a casual question for a regular customer. And with the Facebook stuff, it seems like she's not AS angry at you as before if she didn't block your second request.

It's like she's pulling back from totally cutting you off, but she's not quite ready to fully open up to talking to you again either. I bet if you did try saying hi to her next time she'd be polite but maybe not want a full conversation yet. But it's progress from before when she was calling you names and blocking everything.

My advice would still be don't contact her directly, but if you see her out somewhere again, give her a little head nod and see how she reacts before trying to start a conversation. She might still be sorting out her feelings. As long as she's not blocking your accounts again, I'd say keep playing it cool and let her come to you if she wants. It seems like the anger is fading, so maybe someday soon she'll be open to hearing you out. Just don't push it yet, bro. Play the long game!

[Jamesdann]

Thank you bro, you know you're the only one who clearly understands my situation, like I'm not stalking her nor trying to stalk her or invade her privacy like the restaurant incident, suppose if you and me bro, if we saw a girl whom we previously insulted and calling names we would avoid or just turn the other way if we happen to saw the person we berated out of guiltiness or just for the sake of avoiding conversation. So seeing me there but still she chose to went inside its like she's inviting conversation or inviting me to make a move which i did'nt out of my self respect. And by the way bro, today i was at the same restaurant with my friends after work, and what do you know, i run into her again, but this time i was already inside my friends car about to leave but i happen to stick my head out of the passenger seat to guide my friend while he reverse and there she was coming from work too with her friend and they stop IN front of the restaurant but we were already leaving, i wanted to say HI but bro, i think you understand my heart says go for it but my heart says " wait, you're better than this ". It really hurts bro, it has been 6 months maybe she had already forgotten about me or her feelings had already faded away considering how we ended on bad terms, but to me its still fresh as hell, i'm still hurt you know, calling names is on a different level of pain especially from a person you really cared about and also i have been thinking, like i dont know whats goin on her mind, like you said girls are complicated but do you think she was feeling guilty the same and could'nt make the move or she just don't give a damn anymore, like if she really wanted me to make a move she would have unblocked my number right

[Oliverlogan263]

Damn bro, you're really putting me in your shoes here and I feel for you. That's a tough situation to be in. On the one hand, maybe she does still feel something if she keeps "running into you" like that. Girls can be sneaky about showing they care sometimes. But at the same time, I get why you're hesitant after how things went down before. That "crazy psycho" stuff cuts deep, no doubt. And 6 months is a long time - she may have totally moved on by now too. As much as I want to tell you to just go for it and talk to her to get some closure, I respect that you want to maintain your pride and dignity too. There's no right or wrong answer here. If it was me though, I think I'd wait a little longer, give it more time. See if she reaches out to you at all first before making a move. That way the ball's in her court and you avoid any potential rejection. But if another "accidental" run-in happens? Maybe a friendly "Hey, how're things?" couldn't hurt. Just play it cool like we discussed before. Either way, I'm here for you man. Stay strong - this too shall pass, whether you end up linking back up with her or moving on yourself. You've got this bro!

[Jamesdann]

THanks again brother, and i think will just do as you say, a casual Hi or a nod and a smile if i happen to run into her again, who knows right, i had some people who told me that its already 6 months, if she can go on that much time without reaching out even say something to me, then she probably had move on or don't care much anymore or even bother to contact me, and 6 months might not seem much but it is a long time, and you know the most messed up thing bro, is that i have never shown this much efforts or give a damn about someone before until this girl, and you know the messed up thing is, the first time she unblock me, i ask why she unblock me, then she says its because she had a soft spot for me, i have'nt quite figure that out yet, like if you have a soft spot for someone, you would at least tried to make it work, not the block and unblocking, and name calling right, its pretty messed up bro, i wonder if she thinks that now i am the one who rejected her when i told her i moved on, like she seemed pretty pissed about that, although deep in my heart i have never moved on, i was just trying to protect whatever sanity and love i had for myself, and also bro you are very understanding, i feel like i was very wrong when i told her to block me , i said it out of hurt and anger, and reluctantly or unreluctantly she did it, somehow i thought it was my fault that i told her to do that when i could have done it myself, but i could never block her, its was never my intention, i had explained and apologize to her for that through other communication, and thats when she called me a psycho again, do you think she saw me as a psycho because i told her to block me but then again i regret it and apologize afterwards, is that justifiable to called someone a pscyho?

[Oliverlogan263]

Man that's deep what you went through with this girl. From the outside looking in, it does seem like you both had some unresolved feelings that led to mixed messages and hurt.

But hey, don't be so hard on yourself bro. We all make mistakes when our hearts are involved, ya feel? Telling her to block was probably in anger like you said, but apologizing shows maturity. And her lashing out by calling you names wasn't cool either.

Relationships are a two-way street - it's not all on you to fix. She played her role in the dysfunctions too from the sound of it. The blocking/unblocking games mess with your head, I get that.

At this point though dawg, all you can do is look at your part and keep growing from it. Don't dwell on dissecting her actions - focus on you and what you can learn. We've all gotta claim our Ls sometimes.

All in all, don't be too hard on yourself. You care, you tried, it didn't work out - that's life. Now it's time to let go of regret and move ahead. You'll get through this homie, just keep your head up!

[Jamesdann]

Bro just like i had anticipated she had block my friend request this time too and i dont know why it would take her quite a while to do it since i saw that she changed her profile pic twice. But you know what bro like you said, i have to move on and let it go, ain't nothing good will come from hanging on to the hope that she will reach out again, althought im still verdy deeply hurt, somehow i wish she would at least reach out to me and maybe apologize but that has been 6 months so i think she knows very well what she said and she's fine with it, i need to move one bro.

[Oliverlogan263]

Aw man that really sucks, but you’re right, hanging onto hope that she’ll reach out is just gonna drag things out and keep hurting you more. As hard as it is, you’ve gotta try to accept that she may not apologize or want to reconnect.

Six months is a long time, and if she hasn’t made any effort in that whole time then her mind’s probably made up, unfair as that may seem. It’ll be tough for sure, but trying to move on is the best thing for your well-being now.

When a relationship ends badly like that, sometimes the only thing you can do is let go and give them space to see if they wanna fix it later down the road. But for now you gotta look after yourself, bro. Stay busy with your friends and hobbies. In time the hurt will fade even if the feelings never fully go away. You got this, man. Stay strong!

[strateguy632]

only negative! feeling just move on to find someone else

[Jamesdann]

can you please elaborate by negative means?