How to deal with an older woman in the workplace?

[Anonymous]

I work with this older woman in the workplace who is in her 50s. I barely ever paid attention to this woman but I learned she has grew some hatred for me. She’s made a smart comment to a male colleague about me and also is a smartass to me if we are in a group. I don’t pay attention to her or look her way but if I’m talking to someone else who’s around she will add her two cents in like a smart ass like she’s trying to make me look foolish. I already act like she doesn’t exist and actually forget she exist sometimes but everything I do trigger her.

[SallyTho87]

What you are doing is actually a form of workplace harassment, as per HR policy and can absolutely be used for disciplinary action against YOU.
Consiously choosing to ignore or give the silent treatment to another co worker can be a form of bullying, as a way to isolate, target, or bully other employees.

We don't always get along with our coworkers, but you need to be careful of how you are choosing to handle this situation, and be aware you CAN get disciplined for it. She has rights too, and she probably does not understand why you are treating her in such a disrespectful manner. There is an obligation of YOU to hold a professional relationship in the workplace with your team mates, management and staff, so you cannot just choose to disregard one person you do not like.

You do not have to engage in conversations with her, but you DO need to be aware your actions are witnessed by other staff, and someone can report you to HR for bullying / targeting or excluding another employee deliberately, and continuously.

Perhaps she adds her words in as a way to be included. I'm not sure what your issue is with this woman. You mistreat her and offer her no respect as a coworker, and while she has intervened herself into your conversations or made jokes / comments, that is no reason to bully someone deliberately. Why not ask her to explain what her snide remark means? Or why is it funny? This usually helps shut down someone's unwarranted comments in a quick manner, and makes them look foolish, as you are calling out their comment and asking them to explain the offensive or disrespectful comment they made.

I think you have a major issue with this women, without actually knowing YOU have caused a lot of the issue yourself. Hopefully staff do not report you, but I would certainly follow up on your work ethics code you signed upon hire, and review your harassment policy, as you CAN get fired for bullying.

[Asker]

I didn’t choose to ignore her or give her the silent treatment until after her behavior towards me. I have no reason to talk to her or pay attention to her cause for one, her and I don’t work in the same department but she is associated with the people who work on my team. Instead of working she comes over to our side and forms a clique with MY own team and tries to get them to turn on me and gossip about me.

[errorgoodnameunfound]

Seems to me you're her bff or actually are her defending her so much. Jeez.

[FreyaRed]

You ignored her, this was your mistake. Now you will need to learn funny sarcasm. You can't be too offensive because she is very likely prepared for your obvious hostility. However when you figure out why she tries to belittle you, it will be possible to point out her weaknesses or to lead her on to reveal her fears. Always remember, external observers of such conflicts will favor always those who don't allow them to intimidate and those who look better. You are younger and you have already one of those winning cards.

[Oliverlogan263]

Girl, she sounds JEALOUS AS HELL! Like why is this old lady worried about what you're doing? She's probably mad cuz the guys at work prolly think you're cuter than her tired ass.

I'd just keep doing you. Keep that confidence and don't even look her way when she talks trash. That'll drive her crazier! And if she says some dumb shit to you directly, smile real big and be like "Bless your heart!" All sweet-like.

You could also try gossiping back about how you heard she died her hair cuz the gray was showing too much. Petty, I know, but might knock her down a peg!

Or get the other girls at work in on it. Strength in numbers, girl! Y'all laugh together every time she acts up. That'll show her not to mess with your squad.

But honestly, don't stress over some washed-up hag. Her bitter days are numbered while you out here living your best life! Hold that pretty little head high sis, you got this!

[errorgoodnameunfound]

Calmly go to her directly and call her out. If you have to, snap at her. Seems she thrives indirectly and in groups against you as haters usually do. It's hard for somebody that dislikes somebody else they don't know too well to be faced face to face with them. It's usually a shock to their system.