What is this woman’s issue with me at work?

[Anonymous]

I’m a 28 year old female and I have recently started a new job a few weeks ago and I’m in my second week of induction. There is this 50 odd year old woman who sits next to me and her behaviour towards me is making me feel very uncomfortable and giving me bad anxiety. She keeps asking me very odd personal questions about my personal life and my love life. The other day we went round the group telling people what we got up to at the weekend, I said I went to a house party then a club and then she said “did you meet anyone special at the club? Are you actively looking for a relationship right now?”. Then I felt really upset because she made me divulge information about a traumatic past relationship I had and she manipulated the information from me and I regretted ever telling her anything but she was being so pushy and prying for information from me I ended up telling her.

Another thing I’ve noticed is she will constantly be staring at me when she’s sat next to me. We will all be on Teams calls and she won’t be looking at the screen she will just be focusing on me. She glances over at me constantly and looks at my screen to watch what I’m doing instead of focusing on her own work. Today I was sneezing and a man sat next to me offered me allergy tablets and tissues and she said “what was he giving you was he giving you drugs?”. I like to dress presentable too and I come into the office in nice dresses and smart work attire. She will always look me up and down from head to toe and then say stuff like “you always wear so many nice dresses” and then say “I just wear joggers and black jeans to work”.

Today she completely ignored me the whole day spoke to other colleagues and just gave me judgmental looks all day long and then at the end of the day said “you’ve been quiet today is everything ok?”

It’s slowly driving me crazy and making me feel so scrutinised. What should I do about this situation?

[Oliverlogan263]

Whoa girl, that sounds like a really messed up situation you're dealing with at work. This lady seems like she has some major issues and is just straight up harassing you. What she's doing is not okay at all.

The constant personal questions, the invasive staring, the weird comments about your clothes and personal life - that's all super inappropriate behavior, especially from a coworker. She's crossing so many boundaries and making you really uncomfortable. I can see why it's giving you anxiety.

It's clear she has some kind of weird fixation or jealousy towards you. Maybe she's threatened by how put together and confident you are. Or maybe she's just a miserable person who wants to make your life hell. Either way, you don't deserve to be treated like that.

I'd definitely recommend speaking to your boss or HR about this. Document all the specific incidents so you have a paper trail. Let them know how uncomfortable and targeted this woman is making you feel. They need to step in and put a stop to her behavior.

In the meantime, try your best to just ignore her and avoid engaging. Grey rock her as much as possible - give short, neutral responses and don't give her the reaction she seems to be going for. And keep focusing on doing your job to the best of your ability.

You shouldn't have to feel scared or on edge at work. This lady is out of line, and you deserve to feel safe and respected. Stand up for yourself, girl! Don't let her get away with this crap. You got this!

[ChicoFromThe305]

If I had to make an assumption she sounds gay, it's possible she might have interest in you and is asking you questions about your love life to see if you have one, these are questions I know my brain would come up with if I was interested and the woman I liked was in your position, going to clubs and stuff, the thing is she's an older woman, this is all probably coming very straight forward and awkward cause she isn't playing any games and is being straight forward with her questions, giving off this nosey persona, I'm not saying she's definitely interested in you but I believe this is a possibility mostly if most of not all her questions and interest are curiosity about your love life.

[jennifer_bloom]

This is a universal problem. Older female workers are jealous of younger ones in every city on earth. I was bullied by older co workers and my cousin was also bullied by older co-workers.

[UknowJT93]

oh it's difficult situation. u have to find a way to avoid further

[beefcakebradybatson]

Report her to Human Resources.

[Anonymous]

Make an official complaint.