Was she looking for a relationship or just a lay?

[Anonymous]

So I met this girl in a club who was looking at me quite a bit. And she was very chatty and flirting a lot. And she also asked how long have I been living in that town plus if I was married or had kids. Why did she ask for that information? What was she looking for?

Relationship

Just a lay

[Oliverlogan263]

Hmm dude, it's hard to say for sure what she was after based on just that interaction. A few possibilities:

- She could have been feeling you out for something casual. Making sure you're single makes it just a hookup with no strings.

- But she also asked about how long you've lived there. That sounds like she was sizing you up for something more serious, like a potential local boyfriend.

- Clubs can just be a place to meet and flirt though, not necessarily for something serious long term.

- My best guess is she was open to either - feeling it out to see if you clicked beyond just physical.

I'd say respond if she reaches out, but don't assume anything yet. See if she wants to meet up again sober and get to know each other better. Take it slow, see if you vibe on a date. That'll tell you more what she's after, bro. Play it cool for now!

[elaphe]

In general, bars are bad places to form serious dating relationships.

[Serkee]

I agree, but nowadays there really aren't any other "appropriate" places to look for a relationship other than on dating apps, which are even worse in my opinion. You're seen as a creep for approaching women anywhere else.

[elaphe]

@Serkee Try joining a club or coed sports team or perhaps a church group.

[Serkee]

@elaphe I hear that a lot, but I'm not religious, I'm not interested in sports, and there aren't really clubs for the things I am interested in anywhere near me. And even if there were, the only people who would join those clubs are dudes, with the rare woman sprinkled in here and there. The dating scene is much, much worse than it used to be. Dating apps ruined everything for everyone.

[Asker]

@Serkee And dating apps charge a lot too for just viewing who viewed you

[Anonymous]

It is just small talk.

[Asker]

To what end?