Is our gender really that mean in their rejections?

Question

My long-term male friend and I chat at times. Even though we're now seeing others, our friendship has lasted all these years since middle school. What he then told me really shocked me about our gender and how they can be mean even at an early age.

He said that among the 5 popular girls in 7th grade (my 4 friends and me), I was the only single one that was polite on my rejection when he tried asking me out on Feb 14. Hence that's why he keeps me as friend. I was unaware that he used to get bullied till he now. I didn't know.

He said when he tried asking my friends, two of insulted him in front of others, called him names and laughed, one said ''eww gross, I'd rather go drown and another said ''Yeah, in your dreams idiot''.

Meanwhile he remembers word for word what my reply was and it was: ''Thank you (his name) but perhaps some other time''. That brought him a smile and he said Ok maybe some other time. He knew it was a rejection but at least I let him go nicely because there is no need to insult someone. I agree 100%. It's ok to reject but not right to insult or degrade others. I'm still astonished. Can our gender really be that cruel? Even if he were really Quasimodo from the Hunchback of Notre Dame, it's still not right to be mean.

V_Injector · Accepted Answer

I'm going to share a memory of mine where I wasn't trying to get in anyone's panties at all.

It was in this club/bar sort of sitting and I was just chilling at a table and enjoying some drinks. This chick up at the bar dropped her money and cards and she didn't notice. I figured I'd be nice so I picked it all up and went up to her.

You already know what's coming. She assumed I was trying to hit on her and she put me on fucking blast for it. Insulting me, saying I have a little dick, and all this other shit. I got pissed off and threw her shit in her face..."You dropped all your shit on the floor you stupid bitch." (I know, kind of petty of me, but it did piss me off)

With that story told... do you blame me for having rules like "women have to hit on me or it doesn't happen at all"? Do you really blame me when just trying to do something nice gets me fucked up? When that chick was ranting on me I saw several white knights stepping up to have a fight with me. She was causing a public scene. I sat back down at my table and all my friends are big gangster looking black dudes, so I didn't have that kind of trouble, but I could have if I was by myself.

That sort of stuff has created my attitude of "fuck these bitches," and I didn't start out that way. I was made that way over time through experiences.

TL;DR Yes, your gender can be that mean.

Anonymous · Accepted Answer

Oh god yes. Women tend to think they’re the innocent ones. A lot of them play the victim, but in reality a lot of them are cruel. Stalky w this generation of women. Men don’t like to hurt girl’s feelings. A lot of us really don’t. But I think women tend to think men don’t have feelings so they don’t care how they say something or do something in regards to men. Numerous times I’ve worked expressed how I’m not comfortable w doing something as a male working in the hospital when it comes to a female patient. I always get hit w why? You don’t want to work w women? You’re scared? But whenever women express that same concern toward a male I’m ok w that, I’ll do whatever needs to be done. I’m not saying my feelings get hurt, women just don’t a homeless men’s feelings the way a lot of men acknowledge their feelings. A lot of times when you listen to the nurses talk to patients, they’re rude. What do you want? Oh now you want your meds. It goes on. But yes women can be very cruel, but many of them act as if they’re made of sugar and spice and everything nice. But as a man you can’t say much because then she gets in her feelings, she may start crying. Her feelings trump everything. People tend to believe women first.

KezHarris · Accepted Answer

I think a lot of men don’t realise how persistent, entitled and harassing they can be… well mostly the stupid deluded ones… men can also be nasty when rejecting a woman, I’ve experienced being harassed because I told a guy I liked him. I know there are some women who are nasty when turning down men, but at the same time some men can’t take “no” for an answer and think that a woman having healthy boundaries and being allowed to say no, is the woman being entitled or horrible.. I’ve noticed some creepy guys on here sending overly sexual, detailed paragraphs about what they want to do to me on GAG and I ignore it, then they throw a fit over it saying “excuse me, I’ve taken my time to write out that paragraph… the least you can do is reply to me!” When it’s just some creepy fantasist who’s WAAY too entitled and expects strangers to put up with their sh*t for free. Delusional!

WhitneySnow · Accepted Answer

The fact that he asked out the five most popular girls in his grade all in the same day shows he was either shallow or desperate in middle school. Hope he’s better now.

Anonymous · Answer

I would say women tend to be more friendly in general than men are. The difference between male lockers to female locker rooms. In male locker rooms most men don't say anything to each other and in highschool the boys bully each other beat each other up not just in the locker room.

And when you look women's locker they compliment each others look and there overall less bullying, so women tend to be more friendly to each other.

Even though women are more friendly in general I think they still treat poorly because of what society tells them about men. They will kindly reject the guy or lead him on and laugh behind his back while they watch him desperately try to get his approval. Men do similar things to other men where they pretend to be a woman online and get the guy to admit to embarrassing details about his life and then humiliate him.

It's just people tend to have less empathy for men and only see them as a utility that is why AI girlfriends are becoming a thing because companies want to exploit lonely men for their money.

Anonymous · Answer

I think girls and women grow up thinking of the perfect man and when that perfect man doesn’t come, her expectations is disappointment. I know women or girls will get grossed or turned off by guys or men who post posters of half naked women on the wall, and that’s essentially a guys “fantasy” girl. But all a guy wants really, is for her to be physically attractive to him, she’s sweet and cares about him and nice to his family. Guys don’t care about how much money she makes, what her job is and etc. a girl can be 5’2, 110 pounds and work as an administrative assistant for the bank making $50k a year, that’s fine. I have 3 older sisters and I tell them your expectations of guys or men is ridiculous because not everyone is perfect. Women will down handsome, normal, down to earth guys who work hard and are loyal with the following phrases, “he’s not good enough”, “I’m not feeling a vibe”, it sounds very childish. I predicted how girls would act 20 years ago and I was right 20 years later and I believe 20-30 years from now, a lot of women who look back will say, “I was so dumb not to give that guy a chance or other guys a chance”. If a woman is 50, a man isn’t looking at her income unless he’s a mooch or a player.

Even if she can’t have kids he just wanted to be with someone that they can grow old together and love each other. But I see girls nowadays so focused on their work, their girlfriends and dating different dudes it’s just a messed up generation. I know some girls or women will read this and say oh look another bitter simp, but I really don’t care what girls or women do with their life, as the saying goes if someone makes their bed (certain decisions good or bad) they gotta lay in it and accept it.

Finchie40 · Answer

Yes, but it’s not just your gender , guys’ can be very disrespectful when it comes to rejection as well , some people just don’t know how to be respectful and act like their shit doesn’t stink , I can’t stand people that are that way , but sadly it happens. Whether I am attracted to a girl or not , I am never disrespectful when a girl approaches me that finds interest in me , I understand we don’t have signs flashing over our heads saying what we are interested in or what we are attracted to , or what our current relationship status is etc , we aren’t mind readers , so there is no reason to be rude and disrespectful to someone that approaches you whatsoever, the only time someone should get rude is if the person doesn’t take no for an answer, after you politely reject them. Some people just weren’t raised to be respectful and they lack good manners Just the way some people are

Hellraiser1984 · Answer

Yes you can be very cruel. It can scar a guy for life. I've only asked out 5 women in my life all were rejected very rudely. In doing that it destroyed my self esteem and self confidence. I have completely given up on dating and love forever because of those rejections. Not to mention being rejected by my whole family my entire life. I believe I am not good enough for any woman ever and I should stay away from you because you will hurt me. It hurts inside, being humiliated in front of people. Like I said my rejection wasn't just with women. I don't hate women I just don't trust them.

Matt_M · Answer

I think the type of rejection a guy gets will depend a lot on how they approach the interaction. I've actually had a couple rejections that I went away from feeling really good about because the woman was kind about it and was genuinely flattered by my interest.

As long as your respectful, don't violate her physical boundaries, give her the freedom to make her own choice, and are willing to accept whatever answer she gives you, there's no reason why a rejection has to be devastating. In fact, it can even be a confidence booster and something you learn from to hone your interpersonal skills for the next time you ask somebody out.

I'm sure there are some women out there who just act snotty towards guys they're not attracted to, but I have a feeling that this is the exception rather than the rule.

ProbablyClueless · Answer

Yeah, honestly,. I'm always shocked at how few women realize JUST HOW UNPLEASANT SO MANY WOMEN ARE TOWARDS MEN. A whole lot of western women take it upon themselves to punish and degrade men, even if it's not a conscious choice.

The issue a lot of men have with interacting with women is NOT a fear of outright rejection.. It's a fear of exposing ourselves to a spiritually corrosive person.

Anonymous · Answer

Girls do, not women.

Guys are black and white when it comes to dating. You're either attracted and you want to go out or you're not and then you should politely reject. But women are about feelings. And many just enjoy the ego boost. Even if she has zero interest in him. So a lot (most actually) of women will flirt with guys they have ZERO interest in.

So no, guys will simplify it by saying your rejections are mean. But simply because we don't want to go into the deep explanation of saying that games your gender plays are mean.

Women will always turn things into a debate. A guy with self respect knows when he's been disrespected just for the benefit of her own ego.

overlord337645 · Answer

while i think there responses are rude I can see why I mean if I were them and my 4 friends got asked out I think I would assume the guy is a perv trying to get laid or something and again thats not to be rude but I do think that asking 5 girls who are all freinds to go out is a death sentence cause not only do they notice there friends rejected you but they also add that to there own opinions

ClassicDropout · Answer

I had my confidence absolutely shattered growing up. It got to the point where I would avoid mirrors because I hated myself that much. The last time I genuinely fell for a girl and asked her out she said that I have no good qualities. I know better now, but a couple years ago I didn't go outside at all.

Nikki1989 · Answer

Anyone is capable of being mean under these circumstances. Occasionally, there is no other choice, and some men just can't take the hint. There is clear evidence of this if you scroll through the comments on this very thread.

LiamJHayden · Answer

I never take a rude rejection personally. Maybe the girls has been hit on by a dozen guys the same night before I asked and she is tired of it. Maybe something about me reminds her of a rotten ex. Whatever the reason, guys need to just smile and move on. Always operate with this in mind:

LinkxPeach · Answer

Yes, some girls can be mean in rejecting a guy. But, if someone approaches you. Don’t reject them in a mean way. Reject them nicely. If you don’t want to be someone’s girlfriend, or date them that is okay. Your choice, your life. No need to be mean unless your immature.

Arizona8 · Answer

A few years a, I used to see this girl every day at my apartment complex. After several weeks of saying "hello" to each other in passing, I told her my name and asked her for her name. Her response was: "it's nothing." I thought she was full of herself. I wasn't even hitting on her; I just thought it would be nice to call each other by name as we greeted each other!

NathanDavis · Answer

if you, just go and propose to all the "ranked most popular girls" at any place... then you are not being nice to yourself in the first place

you're being delusional and setting up yourself for damage... lol

Unit1 · Answer

See? You answered your own question. AI girlfriends are gaining popularity and they don't act like your friends did.

Lynx122 · Answer

It depends on the person. I've mostly met kind women but I'm also a very careful person. I don't cold approach women.

ihateTaylorSwift · Answer

I've been called Fugly and Repulsive before After showing my body To a perv that wanted nudes So yeah not afraid to say   i hate guys Because of experiences like that

Kaneki05 · Answer

That's why one don't ask girls out or even look at them because in a lot of cases your just a creep.

msc545 · Answer

Insulting men they are not attracted to is a very common practice of many women. It leads to a lot of hatred on the part of men who are subjected to it.

Kayleigh2005 · Answer

Ur dead to me on any kind of rejection, even if it's my fault 🤣🤣🤣

TheStaleMarshmellow · Answer

HMMM GIRLS KEEP WONDERING WHY WE GUYS DON'T WANT TO INITIATE

genericname85 · Answer

i actually prefer them to be mean. cause that way i can get over it easier.

OfDeath · Answer

Yes and no. I mean you’ll be rejected for a relationship but pay $150 and you get whatever you want for an hour.

Jmmmfi4 · Answer

YOU DAMN WELL KNOW GIRLS ABSOLUTELY ENJOY DOING THIS TO GUYS I HAVE NO IDEA WHY BUT I KNOW YOU DO

DerekC321 · Answer

Some are very kind and others very cruel, but also guys

NewWaves · Answer

Yeah I can be pretty cold

ImalwaysrightOK · Answer

Yes, absolutely.

Anonymous · Answer

Unfortunately, yes :(

Agape93 · Answer

Nope

MrTaboo · Answer

yes you are

Is our gender really that mean in their rejections?

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Is our gender really that mean in their rejections?

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