Do women take rejection as a personal defeat?

Question

spuitkaas · Accepted Answer

When I was young I did. Like at 14ish I was rejected by my crush and I didn't understand. Also a guy once said that he liked me, but not for long-term.
Now I don't take it personally at all. They can reject me for whatever reason.

For the question, I think it really depends on the girl. How old she is, how confident, but I think women are overall less rejected, so it's hard to tell. Men will learn how to deal with rejection more and therefore learn how to not take it personally. There are exceptions ofcourse like incels.

Amanda2 · Accepted Answer

It depends on how I’m rejected... if it’s honest and I wasn’t lord on fine. But to lie, sneak around and leave subtle cues for me to put 2 plus 2 together to arrive at a conclusion that’s just nasty, coward abs deceiving of him. I’ve been rejected so many times it’s not even funny. I handle it better goal wise than people wise, but I’m working on the latter

Puppystarfish23 · Answer

The first time i was rejected i did find it really hard to wrap my head around it. Id never liked a boy as much as id liked this guy before. I usually always hide my feelings and im to nervous to amit i like someone. Warning this is a long story.

This boy was different so i believed. He always knew how i felt without even asking me, he always gave me his time and always wanted to be around me and listen and help. He was so kind to me and i was sure he had intense feelings too for me. It was undeniable but we both had extremely good chemistry and everyone around us as soon as we locked eyes knew we were gonna have something between us. We were like two peas in a pod and were extremely close.

Now looking back i see MASSIVE red flags which id excuse before because i liked him so much. We were planning on going to a escape room with everyone from work and i was still a little shy as id not been working at the company for long. He begged me to come and said it be no fun without me so i came along.

He told me the wrong address and i was on the opposite side of the city centre and had to walk in the dark and rain to get there. As id got there late id found out this guy id liked actually was fighting with another boy to be but in partners with me. I was super flattered at the time.

As soon as we finished he ignored me the rest of the night and left me with some randoms from another department. He said we'd walk me to my taxi but instead he went clubbing and nearly lost his virginity to some girl in the toilets. Leaving me waiting in the dark at 1am in the middle of the city wondering were he went.

I was super pissed mainly about the girl in the toilets and i told his friends i didn't like him anymore and that i was done with him. I was really hurt but then he came crawling back in again and i quickly forgave him because i loved him.

After that we were really good but still keeping it as friends only even though we both knew it was more than that. The Christmas party came along and the other boy who he was fighting with over me at the escape room kept buying me drinks and trying to get me drunk. He tried it on with me and i told him i knew what he was doing.

I tried telling the boy I liked so he'd help me get away from him but he kept calling his friends on his phone and ignored me. Eventually another boy saw and stopped him from following me around. Later on the boy i liked told me he wanted to talk in private but at the same time i was telling the guy who tried to take advantage of me but i don't fuck co workers.

This guy heard something and walked out and went home. I felt bad as he'd clearly misunderstood the situation and i was already drunk so i told all his friends but i actually really liked him so theyd tell him and he'd eventually amit he had feelings for me too.

The next day back at work i was super upset and embarrassed about everything that happened that night and then to make it better the guy i liked told all his friends he didn't like me back. It felt like id been stabbed in the heart a million times. I felt such a fool and after that my confidence was rock bottom. I felt stupid for being so cocky about him liking me back and so confused about everything he did and said to me.

What made it worse is that he acted as if everything was normal with us and we were still friends even when i obviously needed time away from him. He carried on playing his games.

I believe he did love me back but his ego got the best of him and he's no longer the boy i once loved. Feels like the old him is dead and he let bad people influence him to much.

Luckily i have amazing boyfriend now who doesn't play mind fuck games with me.

VIVANT · Answer

I do not. I see it as an ooorrunry to move on from someone I’m not comparable with. And in not being compatible as a potential partner, why is that persons opinion of me as a potential partner valuable? It isn’t.

in my opinion this is why you should this wait too long. Rejection should feel like information not loss. Make a move before you get attached. In this way you are simply assessing the validity of the situation and the lack of ability toward growth. It won’t cut into your feelings which get tangled up in emotion.

I think people can feel bad for losing something they don’t even need bc they just got too used to the idea of having it.

Also those of us who don’t walk around assuming everyone must and or is going to like is, rejection is much easier.

I don’t think women take rejection any diff than men. In that gender is not a determining factor in how you handle not getting what you want. People with healthier outlooks on life will tend to Internalize and or project significant of rejection within themselves or into others, less. There will be plenty overlap of gender bc we all have varied life experience.

An outgoing daring woman and man professional a furs or sakes person who all have to deal with rejection a lot, will have more in common with a quiet solitary librarian who prefers the company of books to people, of the same gender respectively.

TheorionMage · Answer

From firsthand experience, I'd have to say 'yes'... I've only ever had to turn away three women and vin each case NONE of them took it well. Western women are raised to believe that for males ANY sexual opportunity is irresistible and therefore if they're turned down, something is wrong with them personally.

In the first instance, a special young woman offered herself after a preceding evening's flirting. I, was just recovering from being jilted by my long term 'steady' and still fixated upon her. I tried to explain that if I couldn't give her my BEST attentions, she didn't deserve my 'second best'. She took it wrong, that she wasn't 'enough', dressed and stormed off.

In the second, we were at cross-purposes. She was much younger and inexperienced. She was 'smitten' and it wouldn't have been able to emotionally endure a 'friends-with-benefits' learning experience. /it would not have been to corrupt her own emerging feminine style.

In the last, while I was in an open marriage, my wife's co-worker made it very clear she wanted to jump my bones. With such potential to screw up my wife's work environment, I had to decline.

Anonymous · Answer

Yes. You ever reject or dump a woman they hound you, they can't accept it
I turned down a woman once thinking she was asking me out, she stalked me until we started fucking. Another girl I dumped I just couldn't get rid of her, she kept coming around to my place, I just started to ignore her and play xbox, stopped shaving or showering and still wouldn't go away. All because I dumped her. She used to follow me on dates. After sex with a one night stand who left that night, I awoke to find her in my bed naked giving me a handjob and then she rid on top of me.

Cmoreins · Answer

I dont take it as personal defeat, but rather as as time not wasted playing games, respect (on his end) for his time (and mine), and not a missed opportunity. My world won't end because a man says no.

NamerOfStars · Answer

Some do- it's culturally accepted for women to ask guys out (more than it used to be, anyway), and that's a good thing, but it's not expected. Couple that with media always depicting men as insatiably horny and willing to have sex with anyone female who crosses their path, and you wind up with a lot of women who get devastated when they get rejected. They CAN learn from it and move on, but that doesn't mean that an individual WILL.

Cynicaldreamer · Answer

I've been rejected and friendzoned so much, it doesn't really phase me anymore.
I've come to realize I'm not everyone's cup of tea; and that's okay.

It sucks, but that's life: everyone gets rejected. I don't like it, but I get over it.

Anonymous · Answer

Most women don’t get rejected in the same way guys do because we normally don’t approach. We do however, get approached, fawned over, and have guys have sex with us leading us on to believe they want a relationship when they don’t. These guys can be talking to us for months and even years, say contradicting things like I love you, all the while never intending to commit to us. This is a form of rejection far worse than guys approaching random girls for the first time as you’ve actually become accustomed and even in some case fallen in love with the person only to get heartbroken.

AlienParasite · Answer

I think it's not really a gender matter, is more about experience dealing with rejection and patterns of personality. Men and women who have experienced rejection many times might deal better. So do those who have an assertive personality, regardless of experience with rejection. But people who have never been rejected before and are used to always get what they want might take it too personally. Also people with low self-esteem might get aggressive or depressed when rejected.

TOB93 · Answer

Most don't and maybe that's why women are a lot less vocal about it than men. Personally for me I've been rejected and friendzoned and also used to get closer to my more hotter friends all throughout gradeschool. Im use to it even though as an adult it has caused me to move a bit more differently and not tolerate just anyone and anything. People are allowed to go after and accept what they desire. It's their right to do so. It is what it is.

prince350 · Answer

Very very often - even if it is autorejection and not any level of rejection at all, most women will take it as a hidden act of agression (perhaps because they act this way and hence assume it was deliberate)
I had simple wait periods deflate my enthusiasm with someone in the last few days - it is back on track, but had I been a vindictive female, I could have made it into drama of cosmic proportions.
Most girls grow up being so pandered to, that they consider any disruption to the supply of comfortable attention an act of violence.

Swe_Elin · Answer

I don't, and if a girl does - she has way to high hopes for herself.

courtney06 · Answer

I usually do. I’m trying to grow out of that. I wish I was taught confidence at a younger age so this came more naturally. I think I handle it better and more maturely now, but I have a long way way to go because I still “feel” defeated even if I try not to show it.

aWes0MeNeSs · Answer

It depends on the woman. As for me, I never did. Sure, it stung a little, but I was able to move on. If the guy was nice about it, I respected him for it and appreciated both his niceness and honesty. The time I was very harshly rejected and the guy went out of his way to be an ass about it just to be hurtful, I just saw it as him doing me a favor.

Yads_Is_Back · Answer

I don’t. Can’t speak for other women. But clearly a lot of men do!

wkozak · Answer

I don't know, i remember i rejected my classmate 10 months ago but i told her that may i will choose her when i feel i'm ready for a serious relationship and we still talk as normal beside she still want me and have the hope that i will do something in the future specially when i don't want to regret.

pigoat · Answer

The only ones who said "yes" are anonymous and those could just be men pretending to be women

The women who said "no" are use to being rejected LMAO

This question might be for women who are use to getting what they want usually

AmandaYVR · Answer

Of course. And they're extremely risk-adverse.  And they fall back on traditionalism and "guys are the ones who do the asking" because it suits them not having to take a risk initiating.

Dazed0N0Confused · Answer

I've been rejected enough times, I just keep rolling on.

Gentlemanlover100 · Answer

I'm a very polite & considerate of other's feeling's especially when it comes to telling a woman I'm not interested in the most respectful way so when I say there's no good way to tell a woman you're not interested please believe me! lol Its not just women though they're a lot of men that can't handle rejection & take it personally.

AD240pCharlie · Answer

This is something everyone does. The cultural attitude we have as a society (we live in a society) is that if you get rejected, it's because of you. Not because you were simply incompatible, or because you're not their type, but because YOU are not worthy of their attraction. YOU are the one who's not good enough. Therefore, when someone gets rejected by a person they like, their mind is immediately going to get defensive.

FrenchGirl2 · Answer

It depends on what. If it's career wise yeah. If it's a boy or a girl well yeah it sucks but after a night out with my friends it will be over. I won't question myself and everything that makes myself just because someone rejected me.

thegirlfromthething · Answer

I would, unless the guy is gay or isn’t looking for the same thing I am. If he rejects me because I personally am unappealing to him then I would take it as a personal defeat.

Liam_Hayden · Answer

No one should take rejection that way. Not everyone is going to accept everyone. For reference, Decca Records rejected The Beatles. RSO rejected U2. Why would being rejected by some individual matter?

Anonymous · Answer

Nooooo that's definitely more of a male thing (unless she has insecurity issues that need lots of validation). If someone rejects me I trust their decision that they wouldn't be right for me and move on knowing I've got no regrets. Life's too short.

niceman13 · Answer

I think I’m different I just got rejected by a therapist and blocked on Facebook by her, she won’t even respond too me. I even mailed her a letter with no response. I’m not mad or sad. This just makes me want to be her client even more! But since I’m logical I’m going To stay with my backup therapist until I find another primary female therapist. The army made me Understand the need for two of everything in case one breaks maybe that’s the secret

ColHathi · Answer

I came in thinking most would say yes, but seeing the women's comments just makes me more depressed knowing that a lot of women still have no problem leaving it up to the guys to approach them 😔

Citizenkirk · Answer

Women, rejection, and defeat. That's it? A noun, adjective, and an adverb to provide context for this question so that we know what's actually being asked here?

MsTaniaUncensored · Answer

I don't really. It can always be an 'oof' moment but they did me a favor by being honest and not playing with my head or wasting my time.

queenskylar · Answer

Rejection is hard in general. I've noticed that I've taken rejection as defeat from several guys i was interested in.

jennifer_bloom · Answer

I'm okay with rejection because for every guy who rejects me there is another guy who is willing to date me

postempestas · Answer

Absolutely, and more even if it's sexual. It leads us to think we did something wrong.

VanillaSalt · Answer

Lol women don’t take rejection... in order to be rejected you have to make the first move... and that don’t happen

Zeus_66 · Answer

I don't believe this is a gender question. It's more a personality question. Shallow people take it as personal defeat because they expect not to be rejected.

Unit1 · Answer

Did you ever hear how butthurt pinks told you or somebody else, that they must be gay or loving cock? Yeah, they don't take rejection that well.

Joey_Tribbiani_ · Answer

Obviously.. i mean i have only been rejected once... Trust me.. not a good feeling

Anonymous · Answer

No more than men.  How a person reacts to a specific situation depends on the individual, not their gender.

AkshiJanjua · Answer

Yes most women take it worse than men do because men are used to it. That's one of the reasons women don't approach men because they feel like they are the ones to do rejection and can't take it other way around.

SamtheDnDgirl · Answer

Depends on circumstances and how they presented the news, is how I take it. But a personal defeat? Not at all.

winterfox10 · Answer

Women generally handle rejections poorly, especially the pretty ones. Many women take rejection like a very personal insult.

chriscdi · Answer

it would be normal for people in general to take it as a defeat cause lowkey you took an L but not a big deal

EssenceOfLight · Answer

Some women can be nasty if you reject them. The emphasis lies on some, because I some boys take rejection as personal insult either.

Me080Mo · Answer

No but I think about it as a bad luck if I like the guy

TheFlak38 · Answer

they could go as far as filing a false rape accusation just because you rejected them.

collie22 · Answer

it doesn't feel good for sure. poor judgment not defeat

blondfrog · Answer

yes they dont know how to accept it. I've never met one who could take it.

SenseiSeptred · Answer

No, they take it as a challenge to be met in kind towards.

Nigjt · Answer

Well I'm a Man so I wouldn't know that only a Women would but I do think so. God Bless

FCDALLASFAN · Answer

Most people do. 😂  Unless they are used to the game.

Avicenna · Answer

Sometimes, but most of the time they don’t.

brisbanemissile76 · Answer

I know that as a man any rejection i take it personally

ManOnFire · Answer

I think it is more of an injury to their ego.

ItsTheNephilim · Answer

Some do, sure. Not all.

JosyJosy · Answer

No I see it as a relief

Daniel3035 · Answer

ROFL do you need to ask.

SuccessfulHornDog · Answer

I think that most people do

Anonymous · Answer

Yeah lol

LEBANONBEAUTY · Answer

Yea sometimes.

pink_and_inlove · Answer

I think I would

Anonymous · Answer

Yeah

Do women take rejection as a personal defeat?

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