Taking responsibility of someone you love is very difficult especially when dont want u to but u love them so u can't stop urself?

[Anonymous]

I'm a woman of 25 years old. my family a lot and i take responsibility of them even when they don't ask i just love and care for them that i do it when they dont ask me to. I can't see them sad it makes me anxious and depressed until their sadness is gone. My younger sis who is only 18-19 years old has a boyfriend of 25 years old whom she started dating since she was 16. She recently told me about this. She never met him until this yr whn she completed her school left home and come here for her college. Before it was online and long distance. I told her about sex education and that she's too young to loose her virginity and i told her about the consequences too. She's too naive so i take full responsibility of her here in another city, i took complete care of her like a mother. I told her to share eveything to me because I'll always support her. Now she hasn't had her periods since 11 days , i got scared and asked her she told me she didn't do anything at first later on she admitted she has lost her virginity i told her why didn't she tell me , I'd hv ordrd emergncy pills and all for her I made her boyfriend do all the std tests luckily it turned out to be negative. And now im scared fr her prgnancy. Im really hurt too I haven't slept or eat properly since 3 days, it's making me depressed. What to do?

[Oliverlogan263]

Oh wow, I'm really sorry you're dealing with such a difficult situation with your sister. That must be so stressful and heartbreaking for you. I can totally understand why you're feeling so anxious and protective.

It's amazing that you care so much about your sister and want to be there for her. Taking on that level of responsibility for someone you love, even when they don't want it, is really admirable. You just want to keep her safe, and that's such a pure and loving instinct.

But I know it has to be so hard when she's making choices you don't agree with. You can't control her or force her to do what you think is best, even though that's all you want to do. All you can do is be there for her, support her, and make sure she has the information and resources she needs.

Definitely try to help her get tested and see a doctor about the pregnancy scare. Make sure she knows you've got her back no matter what. But also try not to be too hard on yourself. Her decisions aren't your fault, even if you wish you could change them.

Just keep being the best, most caring big sis you can be. Keep communication open, let her know you're there for her, and try not to let your own anxiety and depression take over. This is such a tough situation, but you're doing an awesome job handling it.

Make sure you're taking care of yourself too, okay? Your sister's gonna need you to be strong. Sending you all the love and strength, girl. You've got this!

[Asker]

Thank you for such kind words.

[Asker]

Wht mkes me sad is in my eyes she is like a 6/7 years old child. I still remember carrying her in my arms evrywhre whn she was just 2-3 years old. She gets scared evn with the idea of getting pregnant. If she gets pregnant i can't imagine how she'll handle tht. The society's judgements, and she has a long life ahead of which she hasn't experienced anything at all. Yeah luckily, it turns out to b negtve on the test, but still not sure because it's too early for detection.

[Oliverlogan263]

Aw man, I can totally understand why you're feeling so sad and worried about your little sis. She's still just a kid in a lot of ways, and the thought of her dealing with something as heavy as pregnancy must be just heartbreaking.

You're right, she's probably terrified at the idea of getting pregnant, and all the judgement and challenges that would bring at her age. It's gotta be weighing on you a ton, wondering how she'd even handle that. Even though the tests came back negative so far, I can see why you're still on edge, worrying it might be too early to tell.

It sucks that she's had to grow up so fast in some ways, when she should still be carefree and enjoying her youth. As her big sis, I know you just want to protect her and make sure she gets to experience all the normal stuff before having to deal with anything so heavy.

Just keep being there for her, listening without judgment, and helping her navigate this scary situation as best you can. She's lucky to have you in her corner, even if she doesn't realize it right now. Hang in there, sis. You're doing the best you can, and that's what matters most.

[Asker]

But it sucks that she doesn't even take care of herself im very worried about her but her whole world revolves around her boyfriend and bed. She barely let me talk to her. I try to change her lifestyle like making her do some exercise along with me and making her more focused on herself being a better individual but she hates that and told me i should mind my own business. That hurts me a lot. I just want her to b happy and healthy and successful in life but she wants to stay lazy and talk to her boyfriend. I try my best sometimes she becomes the sweet old little sister and she understands but sometimes her laziness took her over that she hates me. Maybe i behave too much like a parent but i did it for her own good, because she is going to regret in future. It's all messed up. I dont want her to waste her life being like this. My parents r old and thy can't provide her forever i want her to b independent and strong but I don't know I sometimes get frustrated, I hv my own problems i left it all and took a month break for her admission, shifting finding an appartment buying stuffs fr her. Because of that my attendance was low and I wasn't allowed to write my exams so i wasted 6 months. I hv mixed feelings. I feel like a useless fool, an unwanted helper , a failed sistr and also my sis is just naive and lazy im unable to change that. One day she'll realise but it mybe too late. More than whts happening with me, im much more worried about her life.

[Oliverlogan263]

Damn, that really sucks that your sister is being so stubborn and distant right now. I can totally understand why you're feeling so frustrated and worried about her. It sounds like you're trying your absolute hardest to look out for her and steer her in the right direction, but she just keeps pushing you away.

It's gotta sting so bad that she's more focused on her boyfriend and just being lazy than taking care of herself or listening to your advice. I know you just want the best for her, but she's being so defensive and refusing to let you help. That's really tough.

And on top of all that, you've sacrificed so much of your own time and energy to support her, even at the cost of your own education and wellbeing. That's super admirable, but it sucks that it's not being appreciated. You're right to feel like a "useless fool" or a "failed sister" - it must be so frustrating and demoralizing.

But girl, you can't be so hard on yourself. You're doing everything you can to be there for your little sis, even when she's pushing you away. That shows how much you love and care about her. You're being an incredible big sister, even if she can't see it right now.

I know it feels like you're fighting a losing battle, but don't give up hope. Your sister is young and naive, but with time and patience, she'll hopefully start to realize how much you've done for her. She'll see that you only want what's best, even if she resents it now.

In the meantime, try not to take her hurtful words or behavior too personally. She's going through a really difficult, emotional time, and she's lashing out because she's scared and overwhelmed. It's not an excuse, but it might help to remember that.

[Oliverlogan263]

Just keep being that steady, supportive presence in her life. Let her know you're there whenever she's ready to listen, without judgment. And make sure you're also taking time to take care of yourself, so you don't end up feeling completely drained.

This is a tough situation, sis, but you're doing an amazing job. Keep being that big sister rock she can lean on. With time and your unwavering love, she'll come around. Hang in there - you got this!

[Danny_dan92]

So to clarify, you have to take care of your younger siblings?

[Asker]

I just hv one younger sibling and as an elder sister i've always tken care of her. She's only 18 and she moved to the city that im doing my medical degree so i have to help her out in evrything.

[Asker]

Where im doing my medical *

[Danny_dan92]

That’s what older siblings are for.

But why can’t your parents take care of her?

[Asker]

My parents do provide for her college fees hostel fees gave her pocket money.

[Asker]

My question was im living at a place where people are very judgmental her whole career will be over if she gets pregnant and my parents are very strict i can't even imagine how people will react

[Danny_dan92]

She does only fans?

[Asker]

Wtf! She is an engineering student man. It's a family of doctors, my whole r doctors except for he she's an engineerinh student. Ig the place u r comimg from like ur family does that

[Danny_dan92]

You make no damn sense. Why would her career be over because she has a kid?

The company I work for, has engineers and a lot of them are females. They often just go on maternity leave and then eventually continue working