Why would other women at a party get upset that I served my fella a plate of food & hot him a drink?

Question

Isn't that just normal couple behaviour? You know looking after each other & being good to each other?

Apparently he's a grown ass man, i ain't his momma or his slave. Is this such a big deal to women in America? A Mexican woman told me not to sweat it because American women don't how to keep their men happy. I served him at home and yes sometimes I get a playful slap on the behind but I like that.

I mean if I asked him to run me a bath, he wouldn't answer that he ain't my Daddy. Is showing love, affection and respect such a big deal?

Why would other women at a party get upset that I served my fella a plate of food & hot him a drink?

TheRealPepperPotts · Accepted Answer

I read a quote recently that I think fits this particular situation:

"Unsolicited advice is criticism. Always."

It's fine that you want to do that for him. The kicker is that it must be reciprocal. If you're fussing over him and he accepts it, but never fusses back, acts protective, or insists you relax while he takes care of [whatever], it's not a good sign. But some women don't realize that just because you are doing the traditionally feminine tasks doesn't mean the man is doing nothing. Sometimes it does, but not always.

I'd just use that as an opportunity. If some of the women were friends, I'd pull them aside and say "If you have a concern, please talk to me about it directly instead of making a public scene. It was embarrassing to me".

If they are just guests, I'd just say "What makes you say that?" They are responding emotionally based on their experiences and trying to control the situation because it's upsetting them in some way. Forcing an explanation compels them to either back off or confront their own feelings. Most people would rather back off than be vulnerable.

Because they're older, they will nearly always fall back on the cliche "You'll find out soon enough, missy" with a knowing look, leaning comfortably on their private experience as a crutch for not really knowing you personally. Press on that, because they've never thought it through. Innocently ask "What will I find out?". Once they say it, you have the situation under control, because the instant they have to begin explaining themselves to you, you are in charge. Keep the innocent questioning coming until they decide they want out. They'll never know if you were actually naive or toying with them if you do it right.

sage2021 · Accepted Answer

If you are in America - hey, it's a free country and you don't have to listen or adhere to what other people's opinions are!
Just do what you always do with YOUR MAN!!
THESE OTHER PEOPLE CAN STICK IT WHERE THE SUN DON'T SHINE.
Today is a new day in America and we have a new president, so we are no have to listen to the rhetoric of other people who just want to keep us down.
We have risen today and we have our freedom back!!

January 20th 2025
President Donald J. Trump is back so don't try to make us closer down any longer. We are going to be peaceful people and if you don't want to be peaceful then just hang out with your own kind and leave the peacemakers alone! ✝️🫂🙏🏼☮️✌🏼

Cormac995 · Accepted Answer

That is the behavior jealous single woman display when they see someone in a happy relationship. She's implying it's sexist as a way to insult you because she's a petty bitch. Some men do the same thing when they see a guy doing something for his girlfriend calling him a simp and shit.

The reality is our society is filled with so many jealous rotten people and so many selfish pieces of crap that a common theme we're seeing with incels, and feminists is they insult anyone who has what they want but their personality is to shit to get them.

For the record I'm aware not all incels are crazy sex depraved deviants and I'm also aware not all feminists are just closet sexists BUT in my experience in those demographics there is a very healthy pool of both kinds of awful people unfortunately.

Anonymous · Accepted Answer

Because as you pointed out many women look at it as being a slave. That you’re just a door mat. A lot of these women these days say they feminist, but when a female goes against what they actually believe in, they hate on her. I’m sure a lot of them were single, no doubt for a reason. I know my girl does the same. I don’t expect her to do it but that’s just how she is. She’s Hispanic. She doesn’t work. She takes care of the household. It what works for us. Whatever works for you so be it. Stop listening to all them negative Nancy’s. They will find theirselves single 10 years from now wondering why they can’t find a man. Live your life. It’s too short to be concerted w what. everyone else is saying.

OneViewpoint · Answer

I think a LOT of women in the US culture today have a huge chip on their shoulder about the appearance of a woman's role being subservient to her husband or boyfriend. And yeah that mentality in a man is ridiculous.

Both people in a partnership should be taking care of the other.

Oh, thanks for grabbing me a plate of food. I lost track of the time.

20 min later... I'm gonna go grab a drink, what can I get for you?

If it's not a two way street, you need to get off that street. But mostly what I observe is a two way street, not a master and slave relationship.

Miristheiss · Answer

That is feminism turned rancid.

Criticizing doing nice things for your mate as something wrong is foolishness. People who listen to and follow this backwards theology will just ruin their relationships by holding on to these notions that their mate is their enemy and they are in some kind of combat or competition with them.

Opposite of love and serving one another, putting others before yourself.

Date_a_Snob · Answer

One of my best friends got upset with me when she found out I do all the laundry and the all the dishes in the house. The last time my husband did the laundry he lost a pair of my socks and the dishes he broke a coffee cup.

Summeroflove · Answer

They can’t mind their own business and are jealous. I bet those same women demand their men around but if the man dare ask for anything she’s a slave.

You did it because you love him and want to take care of him. As long as he does the same for you it’s not a issue. People judge no matter what you dont be afraid to tell people to fuck off and mind their own.

If their men are miserable and leave them thats on them.

HungTexan · Answer

I don’t know why that would upset other women at a party. When my wife does that for me I’m flattered. Same as if I do something for her, she’s happy.

I'm guessing these other women don’t have a great relationship with their husbands/boyfriends.

Anonymous · Answer

Ever notice the women who hold these opinions are the ones that cannot keep a man? But she'll tell you it's by her choice.😆

Don't worry about what other women think you should or shouldn't be doing. You and him are the only ones in the relationship. No one can understand the dynamic better than you two. And you need to do what works for you two.

KostasKouvalis · Answer

American girls are so stupid and only care about themselves. The feminist movement made them like this. I don't know why they even bother dating/getting married. Then people wonder why the US has such a high divorce rate

Deepinthought345 · Answer

Apparently taking care of each other or being nice to your partner in some cultures is considered as menial and subservient. To each their own. If it keeps your relationship going and healthy I don't think you need to care what others have to say. Specially those who are still single or in unhappy relationships

OlderAndWiser · Answer

Do what makes you happy in a relationship and find a partner who does what makes you happy. And tell others that their advice was neither solicited nor needed.

HighValue · Answer

The majority of American women are sexist, hypocritical man haters. I would suggest avoiding most of them for friends or socializing because they will only make your life worse with intentional bad advice and lies.

Joshydavid25 · Answer

They're indoctrinated by feminism.. Apparently what you did is "pick me" behavior, and is reaffirming the "patriarchy".. In their head the scenario played out like this "hey baby, make yourself useful and get my a plate!".. That's why so many American women are not happy.. Lol..

StevenMcGarrett · Answer

Yeah, somehow doing anything nice for a man is frowned upon instead of it just being nice to the person you love. It is the same thing you expect for a friend. Like I'm going to get you a beer, can I get you one?

DrPepper12 · Answer

Whoever those women are you do not 🚫 need that negativity in your life!

Caroline91 · Answer

Seems unnecessarily judgmental to me. When is being courteous and kind ever a bad thing?

Lynx122 · Answer

Miserable people want to make others miserable too :S

Anonymous · Answer

feminism really is a cancer to society. women doing something nice for their men are being frowned upon. no wonder so many relationships are lopsided

instead of appreciating one another, it's a competition of not falling for the "patriarchy"

relationships shouldn't even be 50/50. that's liberal societal propaganda

relationships should be 100/100

PeachyPie93 · Answer

They are just jealous and misery always loves company so they want you single and lonely like them lol.

FunkyMonkee · Answer

It sounds perfectly fine to me! Maybe, consider the source. Are they part of the woke crowd?

JonCobretti · Answer

Because you are allegedly betraying the "Sisterhood" .

Surely · Answer

She needs to get a life and stop wanting everything handed to her!

beefcakebradybatson · Answer

And I'm familiar with slavery as the great-great-grandson of bondspeople !!!

seeyounexttuesday · Answer

American women in particular hate the concept of being decent to men thanks to years of man-hating propaganda from feminists.

Guanfei · Answer

Welcome to 2025, where your man has to do everything by himself while also giving you everything, and women aren't allowed to show any bit of affection to their men.

Babygirl000989 · Answer

If you serve your man a plate, you are a slave. If you don't serve your man a plate, you are a boss babe modern woman bitch who is stuck up with an ego. Just pick one.

Anonymous · Answer

Those women are mad they don't have a guy to do all of the shoveling

GlowUpGirly5 · Answer

Why do you care? Grow up

Ifdyourmom · Answer

Because they likely think you shouldn't have to. That he's a big boy, and can get HIS OWN DAMN FOOD

Valdemort · Answer

Upset in what sense?

Anonymous · Answer

They’re probably jealous

Sevenpointfive · Answer

that's why i don't play any part in it. but is an abusive relationship still love?

shortster · Answer

They don't believe in kindness.

Wise4myage · Answer

She’s jealous for some reason?

Anonymous · Answer

Fella? Is it 1932?

Bklynbadboy12 · Answer

Cause you made them look bad

Why would other women at a party get upset that I served my fella a plate of food & hot him a drink?

Most Helpful Opinions

What Girls & Guys Said

Why do many women frown at serving their man food at the table?

Why would other women at a party get upset that I served my fella a plate of food & hot him a drink?

Most Helpful Opinions

What Girls & Guys Said

Why do many women frown at serving their man food at the table?

We're glad to see you liked this post.