Would your masculinity get a bit shook if a lady paid for your dinner or shouted you excessive amount of drinks?

Question

I always feel a bit odd when other people pay my way, just wondering if it’s even stronger odd feeling if you’re a guy🤷🏼‍♀️

MrOracle · Accepted Answer

No - my masculinity isn't anywhere near that fragile.

Having said that, my reaction would depend on what her motivation was. If she was genuinely showing me that she appreciated me or liked me, than I'd be thankful and grateful, and I'd make sure she knew it.

If she was doing it to prove her Feminist agenda, it would be a huge turn-off and I'd lose interest in her - but that's unlikely because I'm quite good at filtering out such women long before I'd get to the point where this could happen.

Being traditionally masculine doesn't mean that I always MUST pay for everything, it means that I must always be PREPARED to pay for everything, and to expect to pay for it myself, rather than expecting her to. That doesn't preclude me from accepting a woman's generosity or appreciation.

I admit that it IS a bit weird, but that's because it's very rare that a woman pays, and I'm just not used to it. I don't mind if she does, I just never go in with the expectation that she will or should.

FilmGuy93 · Accepted Answer

No, but I would wonder if the reason she was insisting on paying was to make good and sure I didn't think she owed me something. Every time a woman has done something like that with me, it was because she had some weird complex and thought I would act like she owes me something after the date. Like, no girl, I'm buying you a dinner and enjoying your company; stop making this shit complicated.

lilyanony1 · Accepted Answer

As a woman. I don't feel this way! When I first started dating I was happy to go Dutch not because I'm a feminist or something ridiculous but because at 17 years old it was impossible to expect another 17 year old to be able to afford everything.
As we got better jobs and had more money to play with he would treat me.

Now I'm in my 30s I don't feel like that. I think if a man invites me out he should want to pay without feeling like I owe him something. And if we get on I can buy him a round on the drinks.

The longer we see each other the more we can ask each other out and pay for the dates.
Booking tickets, buying meals, etc.

It's really not about who pays but about just arranging it so we can both have a nice time.

PizzaPieMamaBear · Accepted Answer

I dunno @wittymilf I want the guy to pay I’m not paying for a date however lol with my new guy and I we were getting a little hot and heavy in the kitchen making out and I knew I wanted sex. My son was home so I didn’t want to make it awkward so the guy said let’s go out get some drinks. We went to this hotel bar he paid for the drinks and I did pay for the hotel room that night. So I guess I kinda paid for the first date lol!

Lliam · Answer

No. Not if she did it to be nice and not out of some sense of feminist competitiveness.

If she wanted to treat me to something, I'd take it as a sign that she was really into me. It wouldn't threaten my masculinity at all.

It's nice when someone offers to pick up the check. It's okay to graciously accept and to thank them. These are all sweet gestures.

I think whomever asks the other person out should pay. The other person can reciprocate the next time you go out if they want to. Or one can pay for dinner and the other can pay for the movie. It's not a big thing.

I think it's weird to split restaurant bills because it's like broadcasting that you aren't a couple. It's too up tight.

Guy13 · Answer

Oh my... how flattering... no, please.. you sure?, okay.-thanks was my first time reaction to this sort of thing. I soon found that it came with expectation SO whether it is the Boy or Girl pushing the Envelope it is still the same Envelope. It was fun getting spoiled and a great lesson to learn at 20 years old.

That being said, I enjoy the orchestrating, spoiling, and the emanating sense of happy and pleasure from the other most. Another ingratiating me in this way... picking up the bill... etc does not affect my Manhood. It is a VERY nice thing to do but within a months time in reflection, "Hey, next time let's spend that evening for the tickets to Bahamas, Portugal, or Singapore location dependent... ;-)

Phoenix98 · Answer

Nope.

But with that being said in the beginning I will be paying for dates/our food because I am old fashioned and that's just how I was raised and how I like to do it. And once things get serious and we go from dating to a relationship then we can make things more even and take turns paying or whatever.

But to me if you take someone out on a date you had better be the one paying for it the one who asks is the one who pays. I feel like that's the most fair thing to do.

But also like @MrOracle said motivation matters especially what's driving it.

As for drinking I don't drink with strangers especially women, and I only really go out drinking with a close friend/friends when I'm extremely stressed out otherwise I try to avoid it because I used to be something of a alcoholic. So I wouldn't be accepting the drinks to begin with.

ZackBan · Answer

It used to when I was in my late teens.
I even lost an opportunity with a girl because of it once.

Now I'm comfortable enough in my masculinity to accept being treated to a meal or a drink.

(That girl recently got engaged too 😄)

Pyrofox · Answer

I'd probably buy her back double then that is if she has the mass to handle both free drinks. I say that as I'm not about getting a person wasted if they can't handle the alcohol. (I love people to enjoy themselves while drinking though I dont' support black out drinking.)

ThinkFitness23 · Answer

Yes, this has always been the case.

There’s PRIDE..

FEMININE PRIDE

&

MALE PRIDE

There is also EGO, a man with equal amounts of pride & ego is something most can work with. Lots of EGO and little pride is less admirable.

Let me pay my way as a bare minimum, I’m not allowing you to mess with my EGO in any diminishing fashion men are usually after the opposite, allow the pride and EGO flow please.

Thanks in advance.

Fireguy17 · Answer

nope not at all. Anyone that wants to take me out and pay for it is fine with me, and I probably would sleep with them. Afterall, the prices have really gone up these last few months.

Man-O-Metal · Answer

Absolutely not. I feel appreciated when someone wants to pay for me. And of course, I pick up the check for my friends and family sometimes too. It's just polite. Everyone should step up and pay for the table now and then. You do it too often, then it seems like you're trying to buy their love or friendship. You sit there and wait for the other person to pick it up, then you're just a horrible person. There's nothing wrong with being generous or receiving generosity.

loveslongnails · Answer

What does YOU paying for my dinner or drinks have to do with MY masculinity? You can take me out anytime you like and buy! Heck, buy me a nice car too if want to!

NathanDavis · Answer

if it did... then I would not be a real man, just one of those whiny males that roam around freely being insecure about these things

misogynistic_pig · Answer

On the contrary, only beta men spend money on women. Alpha men make women pay everything.

DaveJord · Answer

If paid for my dinner or insisted on paying, I would think she's trying to keep it platonic.

Finchie40 · Answer

I would feel she was really into me and not just using me for money honestly lol

TaureanBull81 · Answer

No... my masculinity wouldn't be dented as I'd be very grateful for her generosity however I'm the type of guy who believes in chipping in.

ChiTown33 · Answer

No, but I would wonder what she was setting me up for. There's no such thing as a free meal.🤣

Makeushiver · Answer

I think the only think that would shake my masculinity would be your desire to shake hands. I have absolutely no problem with whomever pays for dinner as long as the evening ended with your nails on my back

bolverk · Answer

Personally I'd not be stressed if you paid for dinner, but would get a little concerned if you shouted for an excessive amount of drinks! Round by round would be OK, but you paying for the lot, not something I'd go along with.

inhua · Answer

call me cheap or whatever but I'm not a big spender on money. if I can save money at any chance I can get, I'm taking it that chance.

DCowboy4747 · Answer

For me, yes it would make me uncomfortable if the lady paid. I was raised that the man should pay for the meal/drinks whether it is a date or just hanging out. I know things are a lot different now than they were when I first began to notice girls and the standards and expectations are a lot different also, but most of us in the older generations were brought up with an old-fashioned sense of responsibility.

UniquelyBasic · Answer

Its a nice gesture if done a few times but if its all the time then id feel bad for not pitching in too.

shaysh87 · Answer

A man who feels threatened when a lady decides to pay for him, will the same guy who causes all sorts of turbulence if you ever begin making more money than him. Its best to run far away from men with huge egos and tiny dicks.

dustybiker · Answer

I ask. Talk about it. Feeling don’t get hurt then.

MrCommodore · Answer

Nah not my masculinity, but I would feel like a tight arse though, I like to pay my share.

trumpets310 · Answer

No, I would be flattered because that's a nice gesture

Berethor · Answer

It might, but she might feel empowered by that, I prefer when people pay for themselves.

Tyrael · Answer

It's nice to give and receive so I don't see any issues

MementoMori777 · Answer

No my masculinity would be very well intact in that situation, can't say the same for my liver tho

CloudMassacre · Answer

1. I don’t care about “masculinity” 2. I feel weird having people buy things for me 3. BUT sometimes you gotta let people spoil you

Twalli · Answer

I believe a man should always pay on the first date and then be able tg o pay afterwards, but not required. In a relationship, the man should pay for about 60% of the dates.

Heolurt · Answer

Nothing would even happen to my masculinity, I would however be confused as to why a female I don't know paid for either drinks or dinner for me since it has a 0% likelihood of ever happening.

exitseven · Answer

it would depend on the lady. If it was my second grade teacher I would be freaked out.

aaron210419 · Answer

No, I don't think a woman paying would affect masculinity at all. Maybe a certain type of guys would suffer injury to their ego especially if money is all they have going for them. A true man would thank her and then offer to pay the next time.

Pudsmucker · Answer

It doesn't matter if a woman wants to buy my dinner or my drinks. It's not also an ego deal with me.

MCheetah · Answer

Nope. I don't pay for other women's food or drinks anyway.

Andres77 · Answer

I’d feel like she’s expecting something. So I wouldn’t eat too much so I could perform well

shortster · Answer

My philosophy is whoever invited you out pays for the date. If you want to do something different then you should say so beforehand.

Mangospacho · Answer

I would, but I would quickly get over it and enjoy the free drinks.

Voldra · Answer

No, maybe when I was younger & less secure in myself yes; I'd be flattered now that I'm older if a womans interested enough in me that she pays:)

nawtee_me · Answer

If she wants to get me drunk and take advantage of me I am all for it... lol ;)

JDavid25 · Answer

Nah, if they insist, I won't feel odd at all.. I humbly take whatever they wanna offer.

Alexalex92 · Answer

Hmm not too much. I paid last time the dinner and she said she's gonna buy me a drink next time we hangout

Date_a_Snob · Answer

As a guy I wouldn't mind. Woman talk about being feminists yet still expect the guy to pick up the cheque on the first date.

backdoorman · Answer

Nope, it would be a refreshing change to what today's women refer to as "gender equality".

jamesgoldman · Answer

Maybe I don't know given it last happened when I was dating so I couldn't legally pay but balanced the book with a hefty tip

XLBBC4White · Answer

Not at all. I'd never go out unprepared to pay but it would be cool if that happened. Now this has happened plenty of times when I'm the guest of a couple to which I'm the wife's Bull.

NerdInDenial · Answer

If the woman is paying, she’s not into me if it’s the first couple of dates.

BJP21 · Answer

Not really. Id be getting drunk with her.

Alex8736 · Answer

It would make me feel wanted and appreciated and I would always reciprocate

Paul09 · Answer

Nope. I'd love that, id respect that so much. I would be very grateful.

Guardian45 · Answer

When we date you cam pay for me ALL the time if you like. I don't mind, and bonus, I'm a cheap date!

ChefPapiChulo · Answer

nope nothing wrong with that.

AviatorTom · Answer

Not at all.. bring it on!

DermalPunch · Answer

Shouted drinks? What is shouting drinks?

Sixgunsound · Answer

If you want to pay where are we meeting?

CubaPirate · Answer

Absolutely not

BLP11520 · Answer

It would bother me

insteadfew · Answer

No , not at all.

RavVid · Answer

I wouldn't like it.

sirderpsalot123 · Answer

I don't like anyone spending money on me.

Hispanic-Cool-Guy · Answer

Not one bit. I'm secure in my manhood.

Would your masculinity get a bit shook if a lady paid for your dinner or shouted you excessive amount of drinks?

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