A girl who constantly stares at a guy even catch her when I turn around?

[Ask105]

So I had a girl who would constantly look at me, and I’d look back at her. But since women say one thing and do the opposite, I figured it meant nothing. There are other guys there with lighter skin tones, but she still noticed me out of all of them. One day, I came into work and overheard her saying she doesn’t like guys with my skin color even tho hers is the same lol. She noticed that I heard it, but she still stared at me that day and after. After that, I completely ignored her and erased her from my sight. She ended up quitting three days later for other reasons i was gonna eventually ask for her number but i kinda proved my point. What do you Girls think?

[HollyK21]

How did you prove your own point? You suggest that women say one thing and do another, yet you’re the one knowing you have interest in her but played that game of acting like she didn’t exist. She never said “hey I like you” then pretended she didn’t so again, that logic falls flat.


The only interaction you two ever really had were a bunch of staring and even that doesn’t necessarily equate to romantic interest. Like all I could think about while reading this was that she may have caught you either looking over to her in excess or staring and now it’s like back and forth eye-tag. I’ve had that exact experience more than once with a guy whether it was at work or outside of it and not really being sure what to make of that behavior. It certainly wasn’t a crush on my end, yet on theirs they were probably in their heads just like you thinking we’ve got something going on.

[Ask105]

I only became uninterested when she said she didn’t like people my skin color then i ignored her but for a week or 2 i made attempts to talk to her she never once even bothered saying hi to me etc i overheard her say she didn’t like people my skin color and she noticed i heard it and still looked at me up till she left in her last 4 working days and the last few ignored her then because obviously what she said

[Ask105]

I figured it was nothing and i think i was right just wondering why she would stare at me so much and even when i turned around and then i just mimicked it i already like her yes but i don’t really assume a girl likes me ever

[HollyK21]

If you knew you were interested before she made those comments then what stopped you from making a move before? I also think your behavior after overhearing her was very passive aggressive because rather than communicate how you felt you chose to just ignore her.

[Ask105]

Well i was actually just about to to ask her out until i heard that and if i didn’t hear that i would have looked stupid getting rejected by someone my skin color that would write me off already like i understand everyone has a type and i was actually more hurt and tbh i don’t believe women actually care about how men feel and they have no reason to last girl i talked to wanted me to open all to eventually ghost me and i told her like yo i know you about to ghost me and she was like it about sharing our stories i was like ok your the last one that i try that with 3 weeks later gone , anyways i appreciate you commenting i guess it was a hopeless question anyway i always extend the bridge with women and get burned on the outside o well

[HollyK21]

Sorry but I don’t believe that and i think you’re being dishonest with yourself. All of your actions just scream avoidant and playing games. Your ego won’t let you act first and I base that off the things you’ve said in this post alone. What I do believe is that you’d rather not take accountability for your own actions and choose to make excuses for it. I agree that after she said what she said you’d be turned off, but there was ample time beforehand. You’d rather victimize yourself and blame every other woman for burning bridges before you look at your own toxic behaviors. Who do we blame for that? Your environment? Your mom or dad? The women of the past who did you wrong and now your views going forward are fucked? Who knows, but there’s some unaddressed trauma here and probably no therapy to heal it. You can take my feedback how you want but I just want to clarify beforehand that I’m just blunt, there’s no need to be offended if it doesn’t apply.

[Ask105]

Appreciate the input but you think im lying about asking her your wrong because i know women don’t ask men so since i was new to the job i was just getting to know her casually first i dont have toxic behavior im new to dating been working on my life for 10 years im a first responder i make small talk joke with them like they mess with me then eventually get ghosted its all good know one to blame i think Jesus may want be to be single to focus on him i just think it sucks they don’t want to get to know me or if i go on a date i got one hour to sell myself and then they on to the next guy im trying but it kinda hurts

[Ask105]

It kinda sucks you snapped on me like that why i kinda said women don’t really care about how guys feel i have no alterior nothing just I don't know never mind thank you for the input bye

[HollyK21]

I wasn’t snapping on you at all, that’s why I put the disclaimer in my last response that I’m just blunt. I know that things can read differently than they would sound if I were saying this to your face so I try and be mindful, I’m just telling you what it looks like from an outside perspective and from where I’m standing it looks like you don’t wanna take accountability for your faults and just excuse them. Would you appreciate if I said “men are cheaters and users. They don’t want any fundamental relationship with a woman they just want sex. They want dirty pictures and sexting but no real connection”, would you feel like that applies? I don’t umbrella your sex because I know every man is different.

[Ask105]

I think since im new to dating it would be helpful if had like a winggirl i have spent lots of money on books been trying to teach myself etc I don't know if you watch videos on YouTube 100 girls cold approach guys get rejected 30 plus times before one date I've never been told im ugly when i was in school every girl would say they like me i have a boxers body etc I've been rejected 10 times in a day little rough on me but im learning more of maybe a formula what works what doesn’t i just don’t know how to communicate how i feel all agree with you on that

[Ask105]

I have no baseline i already realized that so that what I'm creating

[FateofOphelia]

I agree with you this time