Was I being an asshole for being brutally blunt to my autistic classmate?

[Anonymous]

Okay so I have known her since last year. We met in high school several years ago. I used to say hi to her but I’ve moved on and I don’t really want to talk to her. She’s autistic but she’s so sweet, smart but she can be very annoying and does things that’s so uncomfortable and blurt out things. She thought she was so special because the people around her told her than and talks to her like a child. I don’t like that. She gets angry when things don’t go her way. One time in theater class, she got kicked out because she threw a meltdown and a temper tantrum for being wrong.
She messaged me last week and wanted to catch up on me. Truth is, I don’t really want too. She’s so annoying and truth is, I was only nice to her because she has a disability and didn’t want to be seen as mean. Now we’re out of high school I don’t have to talk to her. I was like, “Hey (my name)! Remember me? How been?”

I just said, “Hey. I’m doing okay…”

She asked me what’s wrong and is she happy to hear from me. I don’t respond for four days.

She messaged me so many time and ask why aren’t i answering and friends don’t ignore each other and dont ignore special needs.

I got irritated and said, “I don’t want to talk to you! I am busy and have a life. I am TRYING to get away from you. Can’t you see that I want nothing to do with you? You’re annoying, an entities brat and I can’t hand with someone that throws temper tantrums like a two year old. I never liked you that much. You’re not special and you never will be. Nobody cares about you like you think. We are not friends. Do me a favor and stop messaging me.”
Then that’s it. She said I am so mean and I need to be nice to her because she’s autistic and special. I blocked her. Was I mean?

[aceleon]

you were right but you are still an asshole.

you were purposefully being mean and tried to hurt her feelings.

yes you were right about saving yourself from her but being deliberatly cruel about it to this level makes you an asshole since you don't talk to someone who is neurotypical that way unless they actually pulled a dick move on you let alone to someone with a disability that causes them to not get social cues AKA: SHE DOESN'T GET THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO TALK TO HER AND YOU ARE NOT FRİENDS, GENİUS!

again, you are right, but you are also an asshole, a royal one at that.

[Asker]

Well at least you’re honest. I had to be an asshole to protect myself! I can’t believe she did not see the fact that I did not want to be friends with her. Is she that dense? Are most autistic people like this?

[aceleon]

girl, it is like the entire point of having autism spectrum disorder/condition, not getting social cues inituatively like you, they learn them manuelly by time, they are not dense, they have a different brain structure that has deficiencies with cognitive emphaty, do you call someone with no arm lame at arm wrestling? or say albinos should go to solarium?
her entire condition is about not understanding you most of the time if you are not direct with your communication.

[rtj1211]

I guess the question is whether tough love actually helps to develop autistics or not?

I'm sure the answer depends on the autistic individual, but there was a book published 50+ years ago in the UK written by the parents of an autistic girl, when autism was still quite rare.

They reported that spanking their daughter actually brought her out of her shell, even though they were filled with trepidation when they actually spanked her for the first few times.

So it's possible that being blunt and forthright could help some autistic girls, although who knows whether it will have in this particular case?

[CupcakeTheDestroyer]

Yeah, that was really fucking mean. You specifically told her you hate her because you didn’t have enough of a spine to do it in school. Next time, be honest so you can avoid being even more of an asshole to someone who’s incapable of understanding subtlety.

[Anonymous]

She’s prettier than u? No wonder u hate her

[jahaims]

I'm autistic by the way. You don't understand autism and I don't expect you to. You would view her differently if you understood it better but it is definitely not your job to help her out/throw her a bone. You don't have obligations to people outside of your circle.

[jamesgoldman]

You were honest and blocking her was definitely the best move

[Twalli]

You were a bit harsh, but she doesn't get special treatment because she's autistic.