Is it normal to feel this way?

[Anonymous]

I am old, i am a female, I am almost 30 years old. No relationship, no kids, I have nothing. I achieved nothing. I feel like a kid still. I still live at home, can't manage money. I am worthless. I dont see my friends irl anymore cause they have their own lives and bfs and babies now.

I am not in my prime anymore. I am ugly and fat. I game all day online because I can escape my reality. I am 28 now. I'll be 29 next may. And then I turn 30. I am old. :(

I need dental work done, I dont get my periods regularly anymore. And I have no insurance but in the process of getting it at work. I just have nothing. I don't know how anyone my age that is like this.

[Feltonstar]

Oh sweetheart I'm sorry you're having a rough time of things.

First off, I know it might not feel it but 28 is so so young. My 20s were rough but my 30s so far have been so much better. I had to make some big changes but actually you know what, a lot of it was mindset.

I had my own place in my 20s and was working, sporadically. Occasionally I had boyfriends but they were never long term things as there was always something (they drank too much or I didn't like how they spoke about women etc... i found I was generally happier when single but, that didn't stop me mourning the sort of relatioship I wished to have.

I... wasn't happy. My friends like yours all had families.. So naturally had other priorities. I felt like life was passing me by.

Then I decided to change it. And I actually gave up my home, the one thing I loved most in order to so. Because I knew if I didn't... I'd stay stagnated forever.

I moved back with my parents and that freed up some funds so that I could do something is always wanted to do - travel. Just short breaks here and there at first while I saved. Nothing wild. But I started to feel free. I started to feel like me again.

And something that should have been the kiss of death (moving home) actually helped me.

In the last few years I've met my idol, solo travelled out of the country, been to see my childhood fave band on stage.

Actually. started. living.

The point I'm making is that before, I wasn't really doing anything. And life didn't feel like living. Now obviously I get that when finds are short it can be tough to shake things up. But find a way to do it. Even if it's just taking the time to find a new hobby or go see that show you've always wanted. Start small and build up.

But in many 'steriotypical' ways I'm worse off now than I was in my 20s. Yet I feel completely different. I've seen the world, met my idol, I've even started writing a book that I put off doing for years. And I had a cancer scare and came through that too and realised how glad I was to have made myself take chances these last few years.

I recognise now that we shouldn't define our value based on what other people have or do. But instead ask ourselves - does life being us joy? And if not, how can we change it? What can we do to bring in happiness.

Yes there will be restrictions. But once you break out of the box of thinking your life has to look like everyone else's or it's not successful, life gets a whole lot better.

And please start off by being kinder to you. Appearance doesn't define you. And it can be changed with a little work anyway. But every time you talk down to yourself it smothers a little bit of your soul. Makes you a little bit sadder, a little bit dimmer, a little bit less you.

And you don't deserve that. You deserve to shine like the bright light you are.

Find the little things you want to pursue. Start with them. Then work up to bigger goals. And I'm not saying they can't be marriage and kids and a home of your own... I'm just saying, you can be creative with it too.

[Nikki1989]

Please remember: Your worth is not based on your achievements, your weight, your beauty, or your relationship status, despite what some clueless, heartless anons on here might say.

[RHK36]

You know it's not normal, but it's your normal. Once people stop playing victim and put it consistent effort for at least a solid decade you'll start to see better results. No one is gonna will you to try harder at life unless you will yourself. Life is what you make of it. You can either float through life and go through the motions or you can be proactive and try harder to make yourself the best version. Being your best you, will open up more doors and make life feel more open to other possibilities.

[slatyb]

You sound quite depressed. Have you seen a doctor lately? See a doctor and a dentist as soon as you get insurance. See a professional counselor if that is covered at least partially. If you get some help, it will get better.

[Anonymous]

Unfortunately, this has become increasingly common.

[Jeff51]

Your not old. You should go out and meet someone new.

[Anonymous]

Wait till your 50 and saying this.

[BarryLiverstone]

No that’s not normal

[Asker]

What isn't normal?

[BarryLiverstone]

Your description

[BarryLiverstone]

Your question was is it normal. And based on everything you said it’s not the norm