Girls, Is it just me or is she being ridiculous?

[Anonymous]

My friend accused me of both invalidating her feelings and calling her incoherent. This is not the first time something like this has happened, and lately I feel like I try so hard, because I care about her, she has been there for me, but from my point of view, she is hyper emotional.

What I said to her, verbatim, was, "You say yes, incoherently, all the time, where I say several different things or ask several questions, and you will say yes, and it's completely unclear as to what you are referring to."

Also, when I asked her to tell me about her day, she just tells me 3 words, but she knows I want more detail than that. She doesn't have to share if she doesn't want to, and that's fair, but she knows I want more than just 3 words. So when she only tells me, "I worked a lot," I gave her a moment to continue, but when she didn't, I asked, "That's it?" She believe I implied that she didn't do enough, but I was literally referring to the fact that I asked her about her day and she said nothing more than that.

Is it just me, or is she being ridiculous?

[SueShe]

She is not being ridiculous but simply does not seem to want to communicate much, mainly when it comes to her work day. Some people prefer to keep that for themselves. It also depends on what kind of work she does and how she feels about it.

When you state that "you want more", that makes me wonder if you are trying to control her. If she does not want to detail her work day, then you should just let her be and not try to dig deeper into that conversation.

She seems to be a person of few words.

[Asker]

I quite literally said that if she doesn't want to, she doesn't have to. That isn't the point though. It's that she knows that I would prefer more detail than just 3 words, and is saying that I am implying that the fact the she worked all day isn't enough, and I am invalidating the work that she did, when it has nothing to do with that, and I explained that to her, and that I was referring to that fact that I thought she would say more, but didn't say anything. If she would have said she didn't want to talk, I totally respect that. Two completely different things.

Also, she will talk quite a lot, more than I do. When she says she wants to talk, and neither of us a particular talent for small talk, I always make all the effort, and she makes little to none, because it's difficult for her. She will get upset if I lose interest in a so called conversation, when the effort is one sided.

as for this instance, she wanted me to ask more questions, for the sake of asking questions to affirm that I care. She doesn't understand that dragging answers out of her is often really difficult, which is often why I don't try, but then she is upset if I don't try. It's like damned if I do, damned if I don't.

[CupcakeTheDestroyer]

You definitely have communication issues. And also maybe boundary issues. When she wants to keep it short, that usually means she doesn’t think about her day like that, that it was just the usual routine and nothing special. And yes, responding with “that’s it?” Can be pretty rude.
As to the issue with her only answering one of your questions, maybe only ask one question at a time unless she’s doing that joke where you ask open-ended questions and she responds with “yes” which means you have mismatched senses of humor. It’s all well and good to have emotional pillars in one another, but if that’s your main reason for being friends, maybe you shouldn’t be friends.