Even though it was a joke, why does it feel like I'm a failure?

[butterly248]

I made a joke to my boyfriend saying I was trans (I mean no offence to trans people) and he said I know, that's why u can't get pregnant. And he knows I have pcos (in one overy) and I want a baby and now I'm crying.

Yes I maybe sensitive. Yes, I'm learning banter. I've been pregnant 3 times (no kids, please don't ask why) this has deeply upset me. I was last pregnant in October I can get pregnant. I don't know anymore :(

[HollyK21]

That joke was shit in the first place lol sorry it just was, and he was trying to match it but clearly said the wrong thing. I doubt he was trying to offend/hurt you on purpose.

[butterly248]

Ik we normally joke as we both have a stupid sense of humour. But I don't know. I went to bed and he called me a dipshit when he woke me up

[HollyK21]

If he’s calling you a dipshit now then he’s most likely been mean before and so his joke came off extra offensive. I think if it were a first offense you wouldn’t have been so hurt.

[butterly248]

Yeah ur right

[Nice222]

If you were just pregnant in October then why would he even say that? And also you should feel bad since you already know you can get pregnant. It was just a joke I wouldn’t think too much into it.

[butterly248]

I don't know why

[Still-alive]

umm wow... your boyfriend should apologize for that. that was a low blow there. some lines you should know not to cross.

[butterly248]

He sorta did but it didn't feel genuine. I went to bed and he called me a dipshit when he woke me up

[Still-alive]

hmmmm well... how do you feel about that?

[butterly248]

Not great

[Still-alive]

Well i personally would never put up with that. If communicating with him doesn’t work then….

[ohsheeT]

Well because it was just a joke but sometimes when we hear a joke and it's about us we can take it 2 ways.\nWe either laugh or buts off , because it's true , or we take it internally and it hurts let your self feel that for a day but then stop feeling it. Feeling it is meant to just wake you up.

Now let the feeling go and now start thinking about it I dont care what it is in this world that you want. I guarantee it, you can have it. If that is your desire, and if you can pull yourself together your heart and your brain together as one and you stay positive, don't let anything bother you become 1 with your body with your thoughts. And let it happen. It will happen , but you gotta get rid of all of the negative , you have to let it all go and only be positive.. picture yourself going to the hospital to deliver your baby as if it's already happened.\n Live start Living that life as if it's already happened. Become that mom become that person as it's already happened.\n Don't tell yourself you can't you have to tell yourself it's possible. There's nothing holding you back. It's possible. It will happen , you have to program yourself and do it the best way possible

Do you know how many people have been told? No, sorry you can't have a baby because of this or that. And somewhere down the road, they end up having a baby, because they let it go\n That's what you have to do.

To me, even though it was just a joke, it wasn't. It was a wake up call to. Have you change your outlook on everything? This was the turning point for you to start doing things a different way. It's a learning moment.\n It's okay to feel what you felt now. Change everything, it's up to you.\nAnd you know , as well as I know , you can do it , you just have to do it , and it's going to be patient , you have to have patience and believe in you

[ohsheeT]

I have to add-on to this. I just saw the question below this question and it says, how come I fear weight, gain more weight gain as you get pregnantshe's right enough to hold you back with everything that's what I mean. When I say let it all go

[exitseven]

You made a mistake. Make amends and you have a new year to look forward too.

[butterly248]

Okay may I ask what mistake I made?

[exitseven]

it was a stupid joke.

[butterly248]

I admit it was a stupid joke. We both have banter for stupid jokes and I say stupid stuff all the time. But calling me a dipshit after he came to apologise was too much

[NathanDavis]

why not adopt?

[butterly248]

That is my future goal. We have agreed to have 1 biological child and then I wanted to adopt. But I know how hard it is and we r only living in a 1 bed atm

[Ariesman81]

Your boyfriend sounds like fun

[butterly248]

Extremely