When people only call me cute and never pretty or hot, what does that really mean?

Question

Honestly, I rarely get compliments, neither from boys nor from girls. And when I do, it’s usually something like “you have such big blue eyes” or that I’m “a very pleasant person to be around” (which is kind of ironic, considering it often comes from people who ignore me or leave me to hang out with someone else).

Meanwhile, my friends tend to get compliments about their makeup, style, body, or overall looks.

The only consistent thing I’ve heard, especially from girls talking about me when I wasn’t around, is that I’m “cute” and very nice. They describe me as simple, down-to-earth, and non-competitive, like I’m just “chilling.” And while those things don’t sound bad, they still make me worry. I can’t help but feel like it might actually mean I’m not attractive or not seen as competition.

This was about a year ago, before I started trying to dress more maturely. For context, I’m short and don’t have very pronounced curves, so the attention hasn’t really changed much. The only difference is that now I sometimes get glares or subtle judgment from other girls.

So now I’m worried that I might come across as trying too hard, especially since my body type doesn’t really match a more “mature” look. But despite the changes, the compliments and opinions haven’t really shifted, I’m still just seen as “cute,” and honestly, it’s getting frustrating.

DuSith · Accepted Answer

"cute /kyoo͞t/

adjective
Attractive or pretty in a youthful or dainty way."a cute puppy; a child wearing a cute outfit."
Sexually attractive; good-looking."a cute boyfriend."

Help any?

I think you might be onto something. Cute is "safe." Now that you're trying to be more mature, they are seeing you as a threat. Does that make sense? It's like they are saying "when you grow up, you'll be pretty/hot." And, to me, pretty tends to have negative aspects to it, like self-centered, mean, selfish, and so on. Hot tends, again to me, to imply only sexual traits. The cute ones tend to be more well rounded. For boys, who tend to think mostly of sex, cute isn't what they are looking for. They may grow up and start to realize their problem, but most don't.

When I was in high school, there was one girl that was pretty much written off as "cute." Now, I've never been normal. She came onto my radar pretty early, before we even had a chance to start changing during puberty. Why? She was smart. After puberty, she didn't change how she dressed or acted. So, most boys ignored her and went after the ones who did, the hot or pretty ones. She was probably the best kept secret at our school. My mother was friends with her mother. One day I noticed my other had a newspaper clipping laying out. When I looked at it, I was amazed at how attractive the girl in that crummy black and white image was. Then I read her name. It was the cute girl, Melissa, that I knew. Why was she in the paper? She won a beauty pageant at the state level. She had beaten out all of the hot, sexy, beautiful girls that all the boys were chasing. She simply didn't put a lot of time into showing off in school.

Boys are... funny. You're hearing your friends talk about you. I bet the boys are too. The thing is, you may have admirers who are too afraid to risk rejection. Some may even talk badly, when they are really envious and terrified.

Right off, I would be wary of you. The way you describe yourself and them saying you're cute is probably a way of saying you're above average. I knew another girl who fit this. Only, she was bullied quite a bit. They did this to her because she was very attractive (cute), had money, and had respect for herself. She took a job as a waitress, in high school. Every time she walked the floor, the guys' heads turned.

If you get out of the area where you grew up, you may find different words being used and more people paying attention to you. Even in college, you may have the same problem until you get out into the real world.

NathanDavis · Accepted Answer

your main feature... are those big blue eyes

big eyes, are cute... that's just a fact and that's why most people will mention that one thing, at first... because most people are "normal" and nice and they will start with a "normal" and even obvious, "easy" compliment

one important thing to consider here is, your reaction... to these first compliments, and most reactions or your only reaction might make people think "alright, that was it... I'll leave it there" and that's probably why there are no follow-up compliments that would probably be different like, pretty or beautiful or whatever...

and, just because someone doesn't call you hot, that doesn't mean you aren't... it's just that must people won't say that at first, because it can come out as too much, too soon, or even too rude or superficial

there's some girls in my life who have been the hottest thing ever for 10 to 20 years and guess what... I have never, not once... have called them hot or sexy AF... lmao, but they sure are...

RandomGirl42 · Accepted Answer

Omg, I so relate to you. I always am the "cute one" never "hot". 😳

jazzy34 · Accepted Answer

I know why. You've been rude to almost everyone who has commented.

Anonymous · Answer

Alright I'm gonna tell you something that nobody else on here or in your personal life has the balls or ovaries to tell you... it's your face... when people refer to someone as cute it's because they look young in the face. It doesn't mean that person is bad looking it means their face looks young. Now when someone gets referred to as hot it means their face looks older more mature still youthful but not quite as youthful as someone who looks cute aka younger.

Now as for the glares from other women consider that a good thing because they now see you as competition as a threat to them and when they start talking shit then you're definitely heading in the right direction

If you want people to stop thinking of you as being "cute" then do the exact opposite of what you're doing now. Dress the opposite do the opposite with your makeup do the opposite with your hair glasses nails whatever change your appearance to the exact opposite of what people defined you as cute.

Telekinetic-Potato · Answer

I always thought of it as a triangle. Most people are lucky to have one, once in a blue moon you can have 2 and someone who has 3 is the type you only ever see a handful of times in life.

Cute, attractive, hot. I think most guys have a preference for one over another too.

Kinda like how food can be sweet savory or sour where if you're not hitting one of those flavors strong enough it gets bitter

Maybe_Maybe_not · Answer

It means they think you're cute, which is either a compliment or politeness depending on the context.

You want to be seen as hot or pretty but it fails? We can't all be seen as hot or pretty, this isn't fair but it is as it is, for most people on earth. On the bright side, it's an opportunity to get into philosophy.

HighValue · Answer

Cute is often better than hot because it means you have a good face, which is the most important part of looking attractive. If you look young, you may need to be the one to approach a guy if you like him instead since he may not do it due to not being sure of your age, or he may not know if you are interested in people that don't look around the same age as you.

FunkyMonkee · Answer

It probably means that you're a much more likable person than you are seen as a "sex symbol". People see you for you rather than your female sexual attributes.

exitseven · Answer

There is nothing wrong with being cute. You are not a glamor lovely but you have your own way of beauty.

Hunter-40m · Answer

Dont bothered by anyone s comments about your appearance I m sure you will find your match someday liking you physcally and mentally everyone has his or her match in this world

dudeinohio · Answer

There are some women who are in the average range that just have something about them that attract guys. This could be construed as being cute.

loveslongnails · Answer

Way better to be cute than hot. Cuteness lasts and grows into beauty; hot burns up and flames out.

bubblydoubles · Answer

Means they find you wife material. Hot or sexy just means they want one thing. Cute means you have more value

LC75LC71 · Answer

Cuteness sticks around longer than hot, but doesn't stay as long as pretty.

Anonymous · Answer

Cute means pretty in a nonsexual way. Maybe you look a little childlike and that’s subtly turning off prospective partners?

Marissa4 · Answer

Probably don’t wanna come off as too needy.

Jeff51 · Answer

Your looking to much into it. Cute, pretty and hot is the same thing.

jahaims · Answer

It means you have a cute look more than sexy. Which usually refers to looking more innocent.

msc545 · Answer

I think it means that you probably need to change your hairstyle or your makeup, or both.

ZameerAnsari91 · Answer

Maybe cause you have a baby face,

Anonymous · Answer

They are just patronizing you.

Malwi93 · Answer

Neoteny?

In_Trance · Answer

Same thing

When people only call me cute and never pretty or hot, what does that really mean?

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