Nice Guys Are Severely Overrated.

Question

I am so sick and tired of hearing boys and even GROWN men complain about how women don't like them even though they're a "nice guy". They moan about being "friend zoned" and always ask why no one will sleep with them because, of course, they are wonderful and awesome. 99% of the time, these men are not really "nice" at all. They hide malicious and rather creepy and misogynistic thinking behind this facade of "being nice". They pretend to be friends or "nice guys" in order to try and get close to women just to sleep with them or get them into relationships they really don't want or need. They don't think of women as people or human beings, instead to "nice guys", women are The Girlfriend, The Wife, The ONe-Who-Should-Sleep-With-Me. And then they delude themselves into thinking that that's not what they're really doing. This is so pathetic to me. You can't even be upfront about what you want? Weak. And then when women reject them (because hey, guess what? WHEN WE SAY WE JUST WANT TO BE FRIENDS, WE MEAN WE JUST WANT TO BE FRIENDS. THERE IS NO SECRET CODE, NO IN-BETWEEN LINES TO READ IN THAT OR SUBCONSCIOUS DESIRES WE HAVEN'T REALIZED YET (I actually got that once). WE REALLY MEAN WE JUST WANT TO BE FRIENDS) they complain, complain, complain and call girls "stupid" or insinuate they are mentally challenged whores for picking the "a**hole"/actually-really-not-an-a**hole-other-guy.

In my opinion and experience, "nice guys" are simply annoying. They are whiny, self-entitled, self-centred individuals with too many insecurities that show in the way they act, speak and think and they are sore, sore losers.

Ladies and gentlemen, what do you all think? Also, do you have any "nice guy" stories?

dwiller943 · Accepted Answer

Yup. I even encountered a "nice guy" that kept forcing me to date and sleep with him about 3 or 4 days after he JUST met me. Saying that I "owe him" for all of the effort, time, respect, and patience that he has done for the OTHER girls that don't even deserve nor appreciate those types of things that he has never once did for a deserving and more appreciative girl like me. But yet, I "owed him" for it and somehow they didn't. Plus he was trying to get something from he that he hasn't done anything to deserve nor earn from me, before even giving me what I already deserved and earned from him before hand. And the main reason why he even forced me to date him was so he could have an easier chance of forcing or even pushing sex onto me. And my so-called friends called me shallow for refusing to date someone right off the bat. I kept saying "not yet, I need more time. I can't date someone I JUST MET. I need to at least start off as friends 1st". But they ALL (including him) took it has "You're not hot nor a popular jock/asshole, so I'm rejecting you for some hot jock/asshole". WHEN I NEVER WENT FOR THOSE TYPES OF GUYS NOR EVEN SAID THOSE WORDS. Plus I was already in love with someone else. And yes, he was hot, but we were also friends for a while 1st, plus he's respectful, doesn't "try anything", treats women as PEOPLE and not objects nor quests, I actually have the most in common with him VS any other guy, he is a lot like me, I can be myself around him, etc. But the so-called "nice guy", I didn't know him at all, but right off the bat I could tell he was so fucking evil, but yet his own friends who have known him longer than I have still have yet to realize that, he was not only a horrible disrespectful immature guy for no reason at all, but he also was a short chubby leprechuan. Literally. An evil pretends-to-be nice leprechaun.

And this other dude that I lost my virginity to that seemed really nice for so long (completely different guy), said I owed him for ME giving him what HE wanted. I'm so confused.
"Send me a tit pic, because I did you a favor".

CORRECTION: I (This girl) did YOU a favor.

pr3ttybr0wn · Accepted Answer

5 STAR Question.

I am very wary of people who refer to themselves as nice. Anyone who goes out of their way to say "I'm a nice guy" is probably the complete opposite. Many of them are huge a**holes, but they have some delusion which makes them think if you're not attractive to women, you're somehow more noble than the guy who can pull girls.

Like they think holding doors open and using basic politeness entitles them to sex. Um, no. But some people just don't get it.

miserybusiness · Accepted Answer

Omg, I've talked about this so much on here. Some guys make it seem like being nice is some kind of special trait only exuded by a select few. Nice guys are everywhere. It's actually more rare to find one of those so-called "bad boys."

kheserthorpe · Accepted Answer

As a 'nice guy' in recovery ..

You're 100% right.

The piece of information you're maybe missing is that essentially, we raise boys nowadays to behave this way. Don't be pushy, don't act like you want sex, jerks do that, always wait, make the girl comfortable, become friends first and see, she'll appreciate you when she sees what a good guy you are, nice girls don't care about looks/muscles/popularity, the right girl will appreciate you for who you are. Boys get dating advice from older female relatives who instruct them on how to be sweet and make girls comfortable, not how to turn them on. Movies propagate the idea that guys can 'win over' the girl by being such GOOD guys, rather then recognizing attraction is based mainly on who we ARE not what we do to the person in question.

So the outbursts of anger, misogyny and rage come from the fact that women are not behaving the way they were told women would behave. They are trying to play by 'the rules' as they understand them, but they've been given the wrong rule book. Meanwhile, guys who are 'breaking the rules' are getting everything they want - love, sex, passion. Of course some of the guys breaking the rules ARE jerks which makes it worse, but others are decent guys with integrity who simply go after what they want without shame.

Anyway ... you are 100% right, but apart from spreading the word I don't know what else to do. And if you can, have a little sympathy for the nice guys, who may genuinely be nice, but are mainly misguided and have had their heads filled with a lot of crap growing up.

Anonymous · Accepted Answer

You make some good points, but there will (hopefully) come a time when you realize that "bad boys" or whatever you want to call them are severely overrated themselves. Even more than the nice good guys. You'll regret letting them go. You have to realize that it's their feelings for you that mainly make them act in the way you describe.

You have to allow a man to love you at some point, or you'll never find yourself in an ideal relationship. It's funny that some girls reject their friends when they actually have healthier relationships and connections with them compared to the type of guys they actually date and have as boyfriends, whom if their was no sexual attraction to, they wouldn't even be friends or hang out with each other... there's something wrong with that picture isn't there?

If you're going to post the rant that you did, at least make sure that your standards in men are healthy and you aren't expecting too much (or depending on how you look at it, too little)... the ironic thing about this is that girls are often just as self-absorbed and egocentric regarding the guys that they date, oh but what, that's ok? So many girls need to grow up themselves, not saying you do, but just be wary that a little bit of change isn't always a bad thing.

DJ_Durrty_unk · Answer

I half agree to this.

There's a difference between Nice guys and good guys and good guys exist.

Nice guys call themselves nice guys because they say "I'm being nice to get into her pants" and not just "being a d***" or doing "whatever". Nice guys and Jerks share the same outcome. They just have different thought patterns and use different methods to get there.

Oh and nice guys think that if they act "nice" and do certain things it justifys bad behavior , kinda evening it out.

Read my article here

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NerdInDenial · Answer

That is kind of the point of life: to find a potential mate. Assholes are worst because they treat you like sh*t and then sleep with you anyway. The nice guy approach is more dignified. At least you still have your pride. With an a**hole, you're going to feel cheap inside and out. I've always stated this before a straight male and a straight female can never be friends because the male is looking for any opportunity to mate. It's natural. Women have to be very selective; guys are always on the hunt. For the record, I'm a nice guy, and I do not think I'm entitled to anything. Assholes are the ones who take advantage of women.

Frostie · Answer

Lol, what do I think? Cool story bro. Must be that time of the month, tbh I couldnt' give a f***. Let em bitch and moan, half of them probably don't even have the balls to talk to chicks up front anyways. These "men" you speak of, are putting women on a pedestal lol. Of course they're not treating you like f***ing humans, they're worshipping you because they give females power over themselves. I don't see how they can expect to be respected when they don't even respect themselves, ffs, if these idiots decided to have a fun life and do sh*t rather than whining, maybe, just maybe some girl may take interest. Lol, let haters hate, f*** it I'm out, rant over.

Anonymous · Answer

Love this.

I agree with you completely.

Some so-called nice guys, who pine after the girl but never say anything about how they feel, think the guy who swoops in and asks her out is a jerk, just because he swooped in and asked her out.

I can picture the nice guy thinking "Did he not realize I'd already marked her with my scent glands? Have I wasted all those nights peeing around her apartment building?"

Anonymous · Answer

I don't really thing this is true. I mean, the only nice guys that are misogynistic are the ones that were never thrown a bone and become cynical towards women. They no longer remain nice guys at that point, but I can't say that I blame them. As NerdInDenial alluded to, guys don't go up to girls to be friends. They all want a relationship, so the part about these guys not seeing women as people makes absolutely no sense whatsoever. Imagine that every guy you flirt with doesn't want you in that way. How do you think you'll feel eventually?

Apart from that, I think someone peed in your cornflakes today. Who was it?

JimiZappa · Answer

The kind of nice guys you are talking about are immature no matter the age. But there are guys who will treat a woman with respect, courtesy, love, thoughtfulness, and honesty and you might mistakely label them as a nice guy you so despise if your not careful. I think the main difference is nice guys do and say things that they think a woman wants to see/hear. The other guy I'm talking about will speak his mind and just be himself.

circlebill · Answer

Miss, you are basically a child having a tantrum over NOTHING! My sister was married for a short time to a bad boy-jerk. Years after her divorce, I learned that during her marriage she and her husband had argued over a false suspicion that she was seeing another man. HE BROKE HER ARM! She covered it up and said she fell hanging a curtain! Soon after her arm healed and the cast was removed, SHE HAD ANOTHER ARGUMENT WITH HER HUSBAND AND HE BROKE HER ARM AGAIN! The divorce was immediately after.

And you have the nerve to sit there and complain about WHAT? ABOUT NOTHING!!! YOU ARE A CHILD!
The nice guys are just looking for love and sexual pleasure. And you think that's a big problem to whine over! The trouble isn't the nice guys. The trouble is YOU!!!

Konnour · Answer

Well, of course, "nice" guys are boring and fake.. everyone knows it but...

What is your problem? What makes you so upset?

Are you constantly approached by such spineless doormats or what is it?

You are not obligated to settle for anything you don't want to.

Hades · Answer

I think you need to chill out. The only story I have is about one of my friends who is a nice guy. He found a nice girl, they became boyfriend and girlfriend, and have been together for a while now. I am happy for them.

Anonymous · Answer

I think you don't seem all that nice yourself. This question is like the pot calling the kettle black... =|

BankruptBoy · Answer

Glad I am across this post. I wouldn't say Im a "nice guy", but I did think that being so was the right thing to do in the dating game. thanks again for showing ur in-depth perspective. 👍😼

Habakkuk · Answer

Hey,

cyrus7 · Answer

sure "nice guys" are bad, but so are the jerks which is where good guys come in... how you doin? ;)

moviedude714 · Answer

yeah I wish this debate, argument would end already

anonymousbastard · Answer

If this question was asked by a male member, about women it would of been pulled by now.  What a surprise.

Anonymous · Answer

I think nice guy = shy guy for the most part these "nice guys" just lack confidence

chrisbigman · Answer

I'm not looking to "sleep" with a woman. Just to get to know her and hopefully get close to her.

Ihav2fart · Answer

And thats why I'm not gonna be nice!

Nomoremrniceguy · Answer

lol.. I love this! thanks for rekindling my spirit

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