How to tell a guy with Aspergers to leave me alone?

[VictoriaMandias]

There's this guy from one of my classes who makes me uncomfortable. The first time I spoke to him he was alright, but after a while he started to annoy me. He would always ask me about what me and my boyfriend are doing or anything about my personal life. So far, I've tried ignoring him, but he would still try and talk to me. I even told him that I don't want to talk to him and later that day he still tried to talk to me. How can I get rid of him?

[ben890]

If you want him to stop, you've got to tell him straight-forward. It doesn't have to be mean, but it has to be clear. People with Aspergers don't pick up on hints, body language, etc. He could even hear, "I don't want to talk to you," and think, "Well did she mean EVER?" and still talk to you. Not all Aspies are like that, though. And not all people who do that even have Aspergers.

Since you said you already did tell him straight-forward, that's pretty much all you can do, unless you're comfortable with getting mean about it, haha. You could keep telling him that his questions are inappropriate, which might not stop him from talking to you, but might stop those kind of questions. Or you could just try to remember that the class is temporary and you won't have to deal with him forever.

[VictoriaMandias]

I want to be as nice as possible, but at this point I just don't even want to talk to him and share a normal conversation. He just makes me uncomfortable. I guess I'll have to keep in mind that just one more class with him and that's it.

[tadpole25]

This issue is probably long resolved, but:

1. Aspergers is not an excuse for this kind of behavior, and he should work to change it.

2. Since he has Aspergers, it's understandable that doesn't know these social cues and customs.

3. Not all guys who have Aspergers are like this.

4. Guys with Aspergers often need to be told with blunt honestly, since they don't get subtlety.

[shaydeee]

try not to be an a**hole about it... he can't help it

aspergers makes it hard for people to know what's okay to say and what's not

...

just tell him that you don't wanna talk about that and try bring up something less personal... change the subject or just give him a short hello and then joke about trying to work.

[VictoriaMandias]

I've tried that, but every time I'm nice to him he continues to ask about my personal life. I did kindly say that I don't want to talk to him by pretending I was in a bad mood and saying, "I don't want to talk to anyone today."

[shaydeee]

just say you don't wanna talk about what ever personal thing he's asking about... don't try and blame it on any thing else. ask him a question instead?

then tell him your gonna work now.

[VictoriaMandias]

That's a good way to do it.

[Anonymous]

honestly, with someone with aspergers, you just have to be as blunt as possible. SSo, just tell him

[bobby12345678910]

he can't help that and ur nasty and vile to treat him how u do. it sounds like ur discriminating against him which is wrong and spiteful plus u can get itno trouble, he clearly can't help this behaviour and ull struggle to get along in life if ur can't show a little mor tolerance to to people different to urself

[Lupianwolf]

I thought aspergers was the quiet type of person who has problems talking confidently to people

[ben890]

Aspies can be talkative or quiet, they're just clueless about social cues. It's more likely to lead to quietness if they're self-conscious about the likelihood of annoying someone and not being able to tell. But some of them aren't deterred by that possibility.

[VictoriaMandias]

That's what I'm confused about. His friend told me he has Aspergers.