Can extroverted guys be shy about expressing their interest?

[Anonymous]

As the question says, can a guy who act really extroverted (the type who makes friends easily and is chums with just about everyone) be shy about letting a girl he likes her?

How do shy guys show interest, anyway?

Updates

+1 y

I love your answers. It really gives me a new perspective on how you guys think.:) I've always thought that guys who are pretty confident in how they act in general would equally be assertive in everything they do, but I guess that's not necessarily the case.


Does this mean that a guy who's really outgoing can actually clam it up or totally ignore a girl he likes because he's shy?

[FlightAuror2]

I know it's been a long time since you asked this, so maybe your circumstances have changed from when you did ask it (and hopefully for the better), but yes, absolutely, he can act extroverted but be very introverted.

I'm a prime example of this, and partly because of my job. As a manager of a restaurant, I have to make sure the girls are doing their jobs, I have to make sure everyone in the dining room is happy, etc. I can't clam up and shut myself in a room and hope everything goes as it should, I have to be out in the dining room, talking to strangers, striking up conversations, smiling, apologizing when things go wrong, and be loud enough to be heard, but not so loud as to be obnoxious.

Now, however, there's a gal there whom I have a huge crush on, and I think she's much the shy/quiet type, and I am too, outside of work, when I don't have to pretend to be outgoing anymore, I am VERY quiet and shy. It's taken me a year to be able to talk to tables as if it's nothing, I always hated it. I've always been quiet and shy, and that comes out when I'm around her. I freeze up in her presence, I get lost in her beautiful eyes, I find myself looking at her a lot, partly because she's so easy on the eyes and partly because I love catching her looking at me. But generally, if I don't know how she feels, I won't make a move...

[TheStaff_Sergeant]

Being extroverted doesn't mean a guy is completely secure with himself. I know guys that wouldn't hesitate to speak in front of a large audience, but would be very hesitant about asking a pretty women out on a date. As the Digital Saint implied, a person's confidence and success in one area doesn't exclude him from being insecure in other areas.

I think it's hard for shy guys to show interest; they usually don't make much eye contact and may have a hard time speaking with a girl they like. Quite often, girls shy guys are interested in have a hard time knowing what to make of their behavior, or may not know they're interested at all.

When he's around you, have one of your friends watch him when you're in his view. If he's following you with eyes or constantly sneaking a peak, then may very well be interested. Also, make regular conversation with him so that he'll be more at ease around you. If he's looking down while you're talking to him or glancing at you when you turn away, it may be a sign that he likes you.

[Asker]

Thank you for the tips! He isn't looking down. He looks in my eyes when we talk, but he'd have this silly grin on more often than not. Sometimes I don't really know if he likes me, if he's just being friendly, or he's annoyed with me.

[calialltheway1993]

Yeah, it's possible. Any guy can be clumsy in front of a pretty girl he's attracted to.

[markml]

Yes, maybe. Shyness comes in spectrums anyway, so a guy who appears shy in one way may not be shy in another way.

Combine that with the fact that a lot of guys are "what do I do" when it comes to showing interest in a girl. It's not like there's a manual. Quite a few of us wish there were!

So I think that pretty much every guy does his own thing when it comes to trying to woo a girl he likes. If he's had some success in the past, then he's likely to try to repeat what worked for him. If he hasn't had much success, then who knows what he'll do. He probably doesn't. He's going to make it up as he goes.

The only sign you can look for is if he seems to be paying more attention to you than he normally would. Obviously, if the guy likes you, he's going to study you a bit to try to find out more about you. He'll ask people he knows about you. That kind of thing.

[TheStaff_Sergeant]

Exactly!

[Asker]

I wouldn't say precisely that he's paying more attention to me, but he does treat me differently compared to others. He's pretty friendly, but he's sillier when we interact. And yeah, he does seem to be "studying" me, like for example, when he accidentally found out I get startled pretty easily, he'd do stuff to scare me, or at least make references to this when he jokes around.

[TheDigitalSaint]

Sounds like he likes you. Try flirting with him more to give him the hint!

[Asker]

Will do.:) Thanks! I'm pretty shy though, so what can I do to give him a hint that I'm interested without throwing myself at him?

[TheDigitalSaint]

Yes, it does happen. A guy could have many male friends but little or no experience with flirting. They are two separate skill sets. Certainly one can help with the other, but not always. Depending upon just how shy this guy is, he might be waiting for a girl to approach him that he knows through friends. Are you talking about a specific man? If so, are you wondering if he likes you, and if so, why hasn't he made a move on you?

[TheStaff_Sergeant]

I agree.

[Asker]

Yep, I'm talking about a specific guy and yes, I'm wondering if he's interested and if so, why hasn't he done anything about it. A lot of his actions show that he likes me, but I can't say for sure because he acts differently one day to the next. It's so frustrating because I don't know what else to do to let him know that I'm interested.

[TheDigitalSaint]

Have you hinted at the two of you hanging out alone?