Are socially awkward and shy guys a turn off?

[Anonymous]

inspired by a question i saw here.

I'm into them

I wouldn't mind it

They are cute

They are losers

[mermaidrocketship]

I like it. I had a massive crush on this awkward guy for months. Some things he did made me believe that he might have Aspergers as well as just an awkward personality. I flirted and flattered him for months. Even went out on a few dates. But he didn’t meet my expectations, as in taking days to respond to texts and flaking on me, despite being attentive on dates. My friends talked me into giving up after he stopped texting back for a couple of weeks. Awkward is fine when you have other qualities. Just recognize that you’re awkward and be up front with the girl about any limitations you might have so that she can be secure in the relationship. No one wants to feel like their partner doesn’t like them.

[AnnabelLee523]

I have always been attracted to a more "geeky" type of guy. In my experience it's the guys who are shy and quiet who pay more attention to thier woman. They pay attention to her wants and needs. Guys with more confidence and arrogance tend to think only about themselves and aren't very sympathetic. Just my two cents and how I see it.

[Asker]

Thank you for your opinion!

[freakyzeaky]

I feel like us shy geeky guys can make great lovers. We can be very attentive. We actually care about giving pleasure, but for some women, they would rather a guy focus on themselves because it is more dominant and that actually turns her on more. And I say /some/ women, because all too often guys rush through sex and don't stop to enjoy the journey and don't even think twice about whether their partner got hers. That is a damn shame.

A guy or woman can be smoking hot but if they are all about themselves or apathetic in bed, it negates any of that physical sexiness.

Give me a cute freaky mousey woman any day. The kind who has that secret naughty side that takes you by surprise and blows your mind.

[AnnabelLee523]

I totally agree, sex should be an activity that both parties are completely involved and participate in, it should also be mutually enjoyable and exciting no one party is more important than the other. If you both aren't gasping for air by the end of it, if you both aren't glowing from ecstasy it wasn't done properly.

[freakyzeaky]

Unless it was slow and sensual. My ex didn't like it rough all that much, but I get your point. ^_^

Tons of macho men avoid foreplay for some reason. As if going down a woman makes him lesser of a man. Psh. I will go down on my partner for 20 - 30 minutes, or basically as long as she wants me to. It is one of the most fun aspects of sex to me. I like to explore.

And don't get me started on kissing. I could do that for hours... haha!

[AnnabelLee523]

Slow and sensual can leave you panting and glowing too. It's all in how excited you and your partner get when the body heat builds and the orgasms come one right after the other whether it's slow and steady or animalistic makes no difference.
Kissing is absolutely the most intimate part of sex. You can pour your entire desire into one kiss. Emotions can enhance any sexual experience and the more you feel your partners want for you need for you the more the excitement builds.

[freakyzeaky]

I know what you mean about the panting and glow after slow and sensual.

But anyway, I think most geeky guys might not be smolderingly hot and some might not even be domineering, but I think we can be just as adventurous if not more so. I know I enjoy focusing on my partner, and as a guy who is on the shyer side, that thoughtfulness and attentiveness pays off.

[AnnabelLee523]

Yes it really does and it's not just in sex. I think shy guys pay more attention to the everyday little things that really matter too. Women really like knowing that the person they are with really truly understand them and listen. That they care enough that they pay attention and don't need everything spelled out in detail for them. They just notice and care enough to show they notice. Looks aren't EVERYTHING and eventually most women do come to understand looks fade but true caring and understanding usually does not.

[freakyzeaky]

Unless you are shy and scatterbrained like me! haha! Don't get me wrong, I am an active listener, but my memory isn't what it used to be. ^_^

[ladychainsaw]

I do not mind shy guys, but the one thing that would worry me is that theyre not surrounded by "guy friends" or not as much. So they would come off as clingy to you. Or would have better time looking for female friends while in a relationship and it never goes well.

[Asker]

I'm like that. Actually, I have no friends. How should I fix myself?
I'm tired of being me. even people way younger than me give advise to me. I feel so depressed because of it.

[ladychainsaw]

I'm not sure how hard it is to become friends with guys, but maybe join a gaming club in real life, go out with male coworkers, putting yourself out there is all it takes ! Breaking out little by little.

[Asker]

as stats here show, most guys assume people like us as losers.

[ladychainsaw]

I wouldn't say that. Unless all you do is game 24/7. What I look for man is 3 things: 1. Stable job or education 2. Humour 3. Balances games and relationship

[Tw1nm3t3or]

It comes down to the girl and level of maturity. Premature Judgement yes they are a turn off but look past the awkwardness and shyness and they are not a turn off. It also comes down to how far people want to go and if they want to judge the book by the cover or read the book itself.

[freakyzeaky]

Maybe I am wrong, but I think most women aren't so judgmental as to discount shy or socially awkward guys, but the issue always comes down to how the conversation will start, how the conversation flows (or eventually flows) and if the guy is attractive to her.

[Asker]

but the conversation never going to start. If it started, she might be someone who is trying to play with him.

[freakyzeaky]

Or she might not. I have had women be friendly to me first. Sometimes things hit off between two people after a couple meetings at a regular meet up or club. A lot of people go the same bars every thirsty Thursday, Friday, or even Saturday, even in the city. A shy guy may have trouble introducing himself to most women he finds attractive, but he might find an easy in for a conversation with a woman who makes herself approachable or even bumps into him. It happens. But it won't happen if you have a bad attitude or stay home.

My point is, being awkward alone isn't going to kill your chances. If you are awkward and try to force a greeting to a woman who didn't even clap eyes on you and is hanging out with her friends, then yeah, she might turn you down right away for conversation. But if she is at least somewhat interested, a convo might start, and heck, if she is positive and a cool person to be around, the shy guy might open up and get comfortable.

[freakyzeaky]

That is why I think you hear some women said they don't mind or actually like shy guys, but as long as they don't "stay" shy or as long as they eventually get comfortable. For some guys, it takes longer than others, but I think it really depends on the person. For shy guys I think it takes more than just physical attraction to motivate them, it takes kindness, feminine energy, and good vibes.

[Asker]

thank you, sir. you really do know about these things. anyone who has been there will agree with you.

" it takes more than just physical attraction to motivate them, it takes kindness, feminine energy, and good vibes." I have met many like that, though I couldn't keep any of them. they lose interest in me.

[brownboojie]

I don't like friendly guys at all, I don't know why but I want a shy guy so I could break him out of that shell

[Asker]

then break me out of the shell... honestly.

[brownboojie]

I have a boyfriend

[Asker]

thank you for being straightforward and being honest with your boyfriend. :)
Miss, what i meant was: would you help me to change myself... like ideas, change how i think etc. Cuz it is always easy to open up for someone you don't know and will never know.

[shreya_shiry]

Personally I need a person who is confident n not shy to interact. So shy guys are not my thing

[thewolfgirl391]

What about shy guy who's shy but when you talk to them or they talk to you they are confident? It's a boy I like 😍

[shreya_shiry]

That's my definition of confident. If he can talk to me like that then he is not shy

[Asker]

I'm like that. but I can't start the conversation. Or flirt with girls

[thewolfgirl391]

@shreya_shiry
I call them Confident shy guys because they just don't seem to make any conversations unless they want to. If they aren't shy they would be talking every chance they get right? So they are shy they just know want they want.

[thewolfgirl391]

@Asker then you're not really confident :/

[CandacePerry]

I have dated a shy guy but i do not want very shy guy again to date and prefer date short guy i ok guys is little shy but not to much.

[Asker]

may I know why you dont want to?

[CandacePerry]

Because is was very hard work to be up front his feelings.

[girlygirlyyes]

I don't like extra shy ones... I like a mix of shyness and courage

[Asker]

even if he has good looks?

[girlygirlyyes]

Ya obviously... what would u do with just looks.. If he doesn't have balls to talk 😂

[Asker]

A shy guy doing that might see as desperate and needy. cuz they are honest about their feelings and too much afraid of rejections

how should someone overcome that?

[girlygirlyyes]

Just keep on trying... get rejected several times... soon ull get over the fear that's when u r confident and get the girl or guy whatever u prefer

[Asker]

I'm 27, and zero friends

[girlygirlyyes]

Most frens are waste of time... so u r better off

[Asker]

but I do want to find one that i like and love. however still haven't any experience and seems as never will, if a girl is not going to choose me by herself.

[girlygirlyyes]

Well I guess u r 27 ? Death isn't coming near you don't worry... u have ample time 😊

[LunaJ]

i went out with a bunch of Japanese guy for party.
they call themselves "shy"
they definitely use a different dictionary than we on the west cos they everything but shy lol 😂 they might feel it inside but if you don't know them, you won't notice it at all.

so, my answer at your question: define the awkward & shy 😁 i guess it varies by culture n people.

my turn off is simple: boring n rude people

[samhradh_leannan]

I’m general I have no problem with it. However, it will make dating harder if it impacts his ability to communicate or show interest in a partner. As long as he is able to participate in the normal social cues, it’ll be fine.

[Jesslin412]

No not at all. Just be yourself. That’s the only thing you can be. If you are afraid to go for a girl you have your eye on don’t be. They might be afraid too. Just go for it!

[englisc]

More often than not they're a turn off no matter what any woman says. The good news is that you can work on your confidence - I did.

[Anonymous]

I honestly don't care how socially awkward and shy they are. I feel like a lot of people are like that in the beginning. It's all about how I connect with them after :)

[melanieeeB]

Not a turn off, but I do prefer someone who is more confident

[momo770]

I am a geek and socially awkward and if I turn people off, they're not the right people. So no :-)

[PancakeSenpai]

You have the perfect mentality for someone who's socially awkward tbh. I know it wasn't intended as advice for me, but thank you for sharing!

[momo770]

Lol yw:)

[RJGraveyTrain]

For me personally, yes. They’re not my types but I don’t hate them nor treat them any less polite than I would with anybody else. I just don’t date them.

[Unit1]

I don't consider myself shy but i am introverted and reserved. In my experience so far nobody has liked me. Oh freaking well.

[winterfox10]

I would think that shy guys are perceived by women, the way guys perceive shy women.

[pinkzoesbb]

I don’t mind it. But our personality’s would clash.

[macix670]

Yes they are to me. I'm very social so I want to be with a man who is the same.

[Anonymous]

Hell noooo I love shy guys ❤️

[Asker]

I love shy girls too... sadly I'm more shy than them lol

[Anonymous]

It depends on if they're cute...

[Asker]

why would you like someone like that? is it because they are not likely to cheat?

[Opinion Owner]

Maybe

[Asker]

in your opinion, what is the easiest way for a shy guy to have girlfriend?

[Opinion Owner]

Like how to get one?

[Asker]

yeah

[Opinion Owner]

Be cute, be funny.

[Asker]

the things is: girls flirt with me. but when i tried to get to know them they just... you know!

[Opinion Owner]

No, I don't know.

[Asker]

they lose the interest about me quite easily

[Opinion Owner]

Well, I don't know how to help you.

[Asker]

maybe, because i feel depressed for more than 10 years. when speak to someone they usually find out that I'm melancholic

[Opinion Owner]

That could be the reason.

[Asker]

I know i would never get over it. well, it means i'm forever single?

[Opinion Owner]

No...

[Opinion Owner]

Not necessarily

[Asker]

tho i really want to have someone who can understand me and be there for me. That feeling making my depression even worse.
by the way, sorry if i'm bothering you.

[Opinion Owner]

You're not bothering me.

[Poppykate]

No. It's cute! 😘

[Asker]

and not dating material?

[Poppykate]

I would/ have dated someone who was shy. Personality wise it worked out well.

[Unit1]

Poppykate says it 😍

[reixun]

If they’re fine idgaf if they’re shy

[Asker]

what did you mean by fine? Looks?

[reixun]

Yeah