How do I keep my emotions under control around my boyfriend?

[Junebug2012]

My boyfriend is not comfortable when I am upset. He actually gets angry and uses a harsh tone with me when I am upset and it upsets me more and can actually be traumatizing to me. So when I am around him and feeling upset, I would like to be able to keep my emotions under control so that I don't trigger him and make the whole situation worse. If I talk to him about what I am going through, he starts to feel that it is boring that we are talking about emotions (especially if it has to do with the relationship) or he will feel that I need to be stronger and just let things go. But these words don't help me and make me feel worse, so I'm trying to figure out how to control my emotions. Because if I am upset, I am upset and I want to talk about it. I don't know how to just "let it go". But I don't want him to get involved and feel bad and make me feel worse. So how do I keep my emotions under control?

[toulouse]

f you are upset you hasve a right to be heard. ta;ing calmkly 7 rationally, then he has nmo right to complain7 no excuse not to listen

letting things go isn't strong, its cowardly, lazy & learning disabled. how do problems get resoved/ solved, with no discussion. what is he 10

imo, you already said the problem. "he doesn't feel like it. " he doesn't feel like talking, like listening like dealing with stuff. like respecting u. like being there for u.

if everything was perfect & no one had problems, why would anyone be in a relationship. id just hang out & f*** --because its fun.

people are with other people, fir support.

hes tellinf you he does not want to support u.

your emotions are not the problem, unless you are having tantrums, its not a problem of emotion, it would be a problem of behavior.

everyone has emotions. when he says w/e you do bothers him. that's HIM being upset. by his argument, he should on principal have no problem with what you're saying, he should let how he feels go.

hes controlling u. that's all this s, & its working if you think the problem here is how you feel.

he doesn't respect u, he's telling you how to act, & you're feeling bad for being who you r.

id have a talk with him, & decide what is going on. if you guys can't trust each other,and RESPECT each other, then its not a relationship.

if it were me, id dump him. he doesn't respect me. that's it adios.

but you're you, & I don't think ud be so ready to blame yourself, if you were considering dumping him.

take as stand. assert your right to be who you are & feel w/e you feel. talk rationally, so he can't use your delivery as an excuse to say you're just getting upset for no reason.,

if he's not willing to be an actual boyfriend, then dump him. right now he's being a major d***. sorry.

[Anonymous]

you didn't mention how is your relationship like? I mean as far as I can make out from your problem, he doesn't give a damn about your feelings. and hey relationship is all about FEELINGS/EMOTIONS. aren't you meant to talk about them be it about the relationship or any other thing. On one hand you are upset and on other he is giving you his sh*t (anger and harsh tone) aren't partner meant to comfort us when we are upset about anything (even if not related to them). why are you putting up with such trauma. First of all talk to him about what you feel when he does this and if he doesn't understand then just leave him...

[Alice_Infinity]

Wow sounds like you have an awesome boyfriend! When I look for a man, being completely inconsiderate of my feelings is a huge turn on. Not being supportive and getting angry when you're upset is clearly a sign that he is the one! Clearly YOU need to go to therapy to get over being upset, because people should always be happy, all the time! You better marry this one while you still can, cause he's a keeper!

(This was sarcasm by the way, keep your head high and walk away)

[magicv82001]

men are from mars, women are from venus. sounds like he doesn't want to consider any changes in the relationship. sounds like you are taking all the reponsibility for whether he gets upset or not, that somehow it is all on your shoulders and determined by your actions. I had to smile and it was a bit amusing when you mentioned how he would get bored when you were talking about emotions...you have described prob the oldest, longest running skirmish between men and women of all time. but I think the biggest problem in your relationship is whether he gets 'triggered' by you or not, its because your emotional need aren't being met. maybe you could 'be a little stronger' and try not to focus so intently on whatever issue confronts you. back off, take a deep breath, relax, think about the situation, and deal with it. on the other hand, your boyfriend could 'be a little softer' and comfort you and listen to you a litlle more often

[insanity]

keep your emotions under control ? why ? when I am upset about something I talk about it I don't let go because I care what's going on . for example with my ex she is all the time stress up I have to be THE man to console and reassure her and I do ( am the man lol ) but when she upsets me she just want me to let go :-) hell no ! we talk about it . no one goes anywhere or does what so ever if we don't talk then after usually have sex lol .

story short tell him you will talk about it and if he doesn't he should leave :-) that how you show him your strong , you face your feelings not bury them :-D