Why do some girls say that the friend zone isn't bad, and that guys who pretend it exists are misogynists?

[Anonymous]

I'll tell you my story.

So everything began a year ago. We met a few months before summer through a friend, she was chasing me but at that time I wasn't interested and she didn't really attract boys in high school. She only had geek male friends who were a bit lonely. When we were done with our exams and right before I left for summer I decided to hang out with her. We went out several times and the day I was about to leave, she kissed me and said she would go out with me when I come back. I was really happy cause that's when I started being interested to her and I knew I was in love with her. However, that night she changed her mind. ( I texted her before boarding).

During the summer she said that it would be better to remain friends.

I told her that it was hard, and that I would like to see if I was able to remain friends with her. She got mad and said that she didn't want to be seen as an experience, which wasn't my intention. So I answered that I didn't like being talked about as a merchandise. Oh yes, 3 days after she kissed me she said in front of her friends and my best friend, that at the beginning she was 10% interested in me and she didn't know why she kissed me.

Everything went back to normal.When I came back and right before we started university we were hanging out. The she had her frosh (which is more of an humiliation in the country where I live) she was drunk, thrown in the mud etc. (We were not in the same school so I didn't do this). Despite this thing, I still loved her. She started being more distant as she was seeing other people (and guys). When I would ask her to go out, she would say yes and then she would cancel it. She did it 3 or 4 times but the last time I got mad and told her how I felt humiliated (cause she used me when she was bored) and how of bad person she was for making believe things and playing games and I just wanted to know how far she would go in her game. She thought I wanted to know how far she would go in a sexual sense.Also, I had family problems at this time and it's a reason why I couldn't handle it. So we stopped talking for a month. Then we started talking again. Everything was I OK and I really felt she was getting interested in me so I continued to believe. Then she had to quit university for the fall term. That's when she was really really close to me. I guess she wasn't seeing any other guy. So I paid when we went out (not all the time), I offered her gifts sometimes expensive ones.As soon as she went back to university she started being more distant. One day she told me that one of her dream was to have a ukulele, so I bought her one cause I knew she would be very happy. All I wanted was to make her happy. On her birthday, I invited her for lunch and when I was paying, she went outside and she was talking on the phone with another guy, and it seemed like she liked him. As soon as I started ignoring her she started talking to me. Not so long ago I admitted to her that I loved her even after a yea

Updates

+1 y

She didn't like me this way so I stopped talking to her cause I didn't want to get hurt another year and wanted to move on. After a month she talked to me so I started talking back to her and now she's ignoring me.

What I wanted to say is that friend zone and friendship are two different things. Friendzone is another word for garbage where she/he throws all the people from the opposite gender when there are absolutely no feelings.

Updates

+1 y

Friendship is genuine, in friendship you consider the other person as a human being with feelings who can be happy or hurt and not as a simple ego boost or puppet that you play with when you're bored.

I remember seeing her smiling with her friends when she saw me. I think she was just laughing at me.

Updates

+1 y

Anyway, I decided to take this as a lesson and I am not among those who will voluntarily start acting like jerks cause they were hurt. I want to stay the way I am even if that means no girl will be attracted to me or that I'll be hurt again. I really don't care meeting some bad persons in my life cause they're part of this world anyway. Friendzone is not something good whether it is for a guy or a girl. What do you think ?

[Anonymous]

Girls who are genuine friends think guys should value friendship for friendship, not as a backwards way to try to get your weenie played with. I've had male friends that were friend zoned that worked out really well -- BUT both of us have romantic and sexual outlets outside of our friendship.

Girls who aren't genuine friends just like the attention. Unforunately, like a girl who throws her sexuality around attracts guys who just want laid ... guys who snivel around doing favors for girls they want to bang get used for favors.

[XRabbitHeartX]

I think it's easy to say the friend zone doesn't exist or isn't bad till it happens to you. I got friend zoned and it is probably one of the worst type of hurts you can possibly feel because you now your chances are gone now. You're just a nobody to that person and will always be. It's failure, and this person was your friend too so now there's strain on the friendship as well. It's a icky situation that is capable of destroying you emotionally.

[Anonymous]

Some girls claim it doesn't exist or isn't bad, because they have guy friends who make their lives better, and they'll never have sex with them.

They think it's the same for guys. If you have girls in your life, who are friends and who make your life better, but you'll never have sex with them... it's not a bad thing at all.

They simply lack the social empathy to understand that guys do not think and feel about such things in the same way that they do.