Do shy girls take the initiative if she knows you like her?

[Anonymous]

Their is this girl I asked her out and got rejected. But one of my girl friends told me she likes me. I wanted to talk to her again but I feel weird and uncomfortable talking to her again. Someone told me that I should wait for her to come to me since she knows I like her. But do shy girls take the initiative? She is really shy and I don't ever really see her taking the initiative. I want to talk to her again but I feel weird and uncomfortable when I'm even around her. So how can I talk to her again without it feeling weird or will she take the initiative since she knows I like her?

[grimm]

Honestly, it is tough to say. Something like this will vary greatly from girl to girl. Some very well may, but honestly, I think that girls across the board will be waiting for you.

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For example, as a teenager, I was VERY shy when it came to dating and relationships. Incredibly. Even if I knew a guy liked me, I would never have approached him or taken any kind of initiative. There is just way too much insecurity involved with being shy that, even if she 'knows' you like her, she'll still be worried you don't/won't. Honestly, I probably wouldn't even be able to flirt. Perhaps very subtly online/in text, but never in person

Now, a few years after high school, I've become very confident. I certainly take a great deal more initiative than I would ever imagine in high school, however, not nearly as much as I'd like. It is so scary for us, especially when all we want is to be wanted. If we make the move, we don't know that we're wanted. Moreover, the gendered messages we receive from media and, in turn, our peers, is that if the guy likes you, he will come to you. So essentially, even being confident, I'm still very shy in these kinds of situations.

I say you give it another shot. You never know, she may have had to reject you because she had prior commitments. She could very well be anxiously awaiting to see if you'll ask her out again since the cultural expectation is that, if you truly want her, you will pursue her. Not doing so just shows her you're disinterested, and the longer you wait, the more she'll think it. It may even push her to move on. Jump in with both feet! If she continually rejects your offers (maybe more than 3 or 4 times), then I would suggest you move on.

[Asker]

Thanks for the advice. Man I just wish girls were more straight forward haha. How could I talk to her again though? Because every time I'm around her now I can't even talk to her because I feel weird, uncomfortable, and not confident at all.

[grimm]

We genuinely want to be more straightforward. I guess it all just boils down to fear. It is a double-edged sword. If we're straightforward, we're often seen as the aggressor (and in most cases, it is considered "a turn off"). If we're shy, we're "confusing". As for talking to her, you just need to try to kick yourself in the butt. I'm sure if you are attentive, a time will present itself when you can say SOMETHING casual to her, and that can lead into asking for her number. Then go from there.

[Melancholy]

I think you may text/call her from time to time and show that you truly care about her. But keep everything in control and not to over-express your feeling to be pathetic. Time will tell if she is really shy or just plays hard to get.

[Anonymous]

forget her.

The more you come on to the same woman once, you are in fact a desperate loser.

Ask yourself this question, would a guy like george cloony give a f*** that she said no?

No he wouldnt.

But he certainly wouldn't waste time hitting on a girl that does that sh*t. He would smile, raise an eyebrow and turn to his left and start banging the next girl 3 inches from his cock.

A man with options doesn't play that game.

[Racez]

Don't take no as an answer. Simply go at it again.

If you leave her at that, a guy will persistently hit on her and she will cave in to him, and you will just stand there, gaping in awe.