Have you ever found an intimidatingly hot person to be nice...and likes you back?

[Anonymous]

There is this intimidatingly hot girl...she doesn't smile a lot, but I guess she doesn't need to.

But one of my friend's friend who isn't the most charming guy or anything ended up dating her. I met the girl, and she seems so sweet. I wonder how he got the courage to look past her shield.

Anyone with experiences like this?

[washize]

Just because you find someone insanely sexy and attractive, doesn't mean that they, themselves feel that they are attractive or good looking. Its all a matter of perception and self esteem. This goes for attractive MEN and women.

Contrary to belief most attractive people DON'T feel good about themselves and are very reserved. Attractive people face the most abuse. Especially in their childhood. Since they are attractive, they are subject to more physical and sexual abuse from other people. They are also less likely to be taken seriously, and less valued. Most men and women only want to be around attractive people for the social benefits, or because of sexual interests. Most people also don't approach attractive people (other than for sex) because they assume they are already "taken". This goes for attractive MEN and women.

Attractive people are often written off as stupid, manipulative, and horrible people with little to no substance or moral. So you could imagine why attractive people may distance themselves for others or have a guard up, they are used to being USED by other people.

I've only dated one guy who I thought was gorgeous. He looked like a freaking god. He was tall and built like a rock. However, he had no self esteem or self confidence. HE had "ugly duckling" syndrome and hated himself. He was a sweetheart and would bend over backwards for anyone and smart as a whip, Very quirky too. He was lovely, but his self hatred was really a drag that pretty much destroyed our relationship.

Also no one needs to smile all of the time, some people doesn't smile, that doesn't mean that they are rude or narcissistic people.

Just remember if you find someone attractive, that doesn't mean that THEY THEMSELVES are a bad person.

[kangaru]

well-said

[Meedo]

If you don't mind me asking.. how did he hate himself ? in what way did he have low self esteem / confidence.

[washize]

He hated the way he looked. He was always apologizing about his hair, his beard, his body, and his clothes. He could never take a compliment, he would "jokingly" reject it. He was pretty silly/goofy, but he called himself immature and always put himself down if he did something funny. He always said I was going to break up with him, or leave him for someone "better". He said that people only wanted to use him. He just hated himself. I guess all the bullying in high school just destroyed him.

[Anonymous]

Not to sound conceited but I am one of these so called " hot " people.

I get a lot of attention from sleazy jerky guys, the nice guys never approach me ever.

I get looked at and called beautiful, gorgeous, stunning etc when I'm out and I don't really believe it, I don't see what's so great about me, because I'm never approached by a guy I actually like. They for some reason don't want to talk to me.

Been told I'm intimidating and that comment gives me low self esteem because I feel that I can't really change my appearance.

When I out in a bar I get girls give me horrible looks and that too makes me feel awful, because I haven't done or said anything they just don't like the way I am or look.

Not posting for the sympathy factor, just wanted to say if you see a hot guy or girl just talk to them like anyone else, they are lovely people. Obviously not all of them, but you get the idea.

[SDj-9]

It seems to mee like all these girls giving you "looks" are jealous, and that guys you want just doesn't have the confidence to go talk to you... Don't worry, it's not your fault.

[Opinion Owner]

Thanks, but it doesn't change how my situation is and I can't really do much to make it better.

[Asker]

I'll approach you :) I'm a relationship kinda guy, so I'm no sleaze

[acka72]

Usually hot (physically) women don't get approached as often as other women because men are intimidated, so when a simple dude comes along and has the courage to flirt with her he can get lucky because most men are weak sissies.

So don't be discouraged when you see a hot but shy girl.

[Asker]

That's not true. Hot women get approached all the time.

[acka72]

By jerks and sleazeballs who only want to have sex with them for a one night stand. These men are tiring after a while.

[SwissCheeze]

And guess what, women keep going back to those guys. So why are you that surprised?

[Tallblondie]

Don't generalize "SwissCheeze," just because you know of one woman who has gone back to 'one of those guys' doesn't mean that all women do.

[OpenClose]

The only kind of hot girl I would find intimidating is the kind of girl who acts like I need to prove something to her before I'm of much value.

For instance, if she makes a lot of money, I assume she'll expect me to make more, or else I'm "unworthy" of her.

If she has higher education than me, I assume she'll look down on me as her inferior until I get my Ph.D.

But if she doesn't give a sh*t, if she's nice to me as a person - not as her mechanic, wallet, or bodyguard - then I just call myself lucky and see how I can turn this into a relationship.

Intimidating assumes she holds me to standards higher than I can meet, and higher than she herself offers, all because she looks good. If she's intimidating in this way, she doesn't deserve my admiration, and I move on.

[Professor_Zoom]

A lot of hot people are very nice. A lot are also asses because they know they can get away with it. But there are also a lot of average and not so average people who are straight up jerks.

Just because you're hot doesn't mean that you don't have issues like everybody else, or that your heart doesn't get broken. I have a friend who is extremely hot. They're ex's now, but when she met her ex, she was attracted to him because they ended up having an average conversation about health insurance. She said if he had approached her like every other guy at that club, she wouldn't have given him her number.

[Prof_Don]

I honestly have a few times, dude. I always try to be warm and sociable to any female of interest, regardless of her "deflector shield".

I noticed girls' "deflector shields" tend to go down when the guy socializes with her in a warm and friendly fashion, while not make any attention or body language towards her looks.

THEN she is more receptive of the guy, because she is talking to her as a person first, sexual object second.

[confugirl]

Yeah. He flirted with me pretty heavily when he got up the guts to talk to me. He is really shy so he approached me at the most random times. I didn't realize it until he had moved on.

[kangaru]

i encountered before that good looking guy like me, I didn't know why too because I find myself average. I do not mind to be friends with him though...just keep an open mind.

[backagainagain]

Yes, and every time I am shocked but completely flattered.

[shumailkazimi]

No...But I have always been nice and generous to each and everyone of them

[SwissCheeze]

Sadly no. But I'm not that good looking so I don't get women looking at me much.

[ManaX]

no.

[Anonymous]

Yes I have.