Why does this girl act so nervous around me?

[Anonymous]

I really don't know what to do with her. Some days she will come up to me and say hi and start chatting. We know each other so its not like I'm a stranger, so she will start the conversation then I'll slowly take over and ask her appropriate questions about her day or what has she been up to. Her initial confidence then quickly turns into being all nervous and fidgety, she laughs and smiles, but that could also mean she is not enjoying it and is uncomfortable, so I try to look for an out and end the conversation.

A little bit later we may run into each other again and she'll start asking me questions and showing a "I want to talk to you" vibe but when I start, she'll start the not looking at me or looking away while still smiling, which again I can't tell if its one of those "leave me alone" smiles.

She is pretty consistent when she talks to others, she starts friendly and finishes friendly. Maybe I look into it too much, but I really try to keep the conversation light, nothing too personal or obvious flirting, I try to be funny and she still acts like this. She is usually on her phone constantly looking at things, I'll talk to her and she is obviously listening, but she either just looks at me and smiles or answers without looking away from the phone.

I'm very nice to her, I'm polite, respectful and I have shown her a sweet side to her that I rarely show. She is a little shy but she is chatty with friends but she has known me for over a year and she still acts like she doesn't know me, even though she remembers and brings up stuff I've told her months ago, what is with this lady? Do I make her uncomfortable?

[Anonymous]

You want her to be herself around you, then be around her more one-on-one. A lot, actually. Just hang out where she's hanging. She may have the personality type where you'll have to deal with the initial awkwardness. I'm like that. I WILL be awkward and uncomfortable around people at first. It takes some persistence on both our parts to get over that initial hump, but I warm up after that.

The only caveat is if I start developing feelings for the guy and it gets too overwhelming for me to handle; I have intense emotions. I need time and exposure to get over that, too.

Good luck...

And I think she might like you.

[Asker]

I try to be with her one on one, in fact, that's when she gets all awkward. I don't see it much as her being uncomfortable but she acts weird. Like if we are talking and having a good time, she RARELY laughs, like she will smile really big or just say "oh my god you are so lame" and then turns and hide her face lol, but she is clearly smiling. When I try to talk to her, she just kinda glances at me from time to time but never faces me and she has known me for over a year! She shouldn't be so shy

[Opinion Owner]

How often are you one-on-one with her? Are you serious, or are you always joking? Some girls will always be shy around the guy they like. It's like a guy not wanting to approach a really attractive woman. Or maybe she isn't ready for a "big girl" relationship...

e.g., I like this guy a lot right now, and I'm starting to develop extreme shyness around him. I'm trying really hard to fight it off, since it freezes me up, and I'm not as witty or playful like before.

Be wary of the friend zone, too

[Asker]

Thanks for the advice, its really appreciated. How often? We see each other at school so about maybe 3 hours a week maybe more. In your example, I guess its kinda like that. She can be playful and we have fun but sometimes she gets really shy. Like I said, sometime I think of a funny joke or something silly and she just smiles and turns away from me, its cute but it frustrating. I'm not always joking, I'm usually serious but when I see her being quiet, I try to joke a bit

[Dannie0613]

I don't think it is your problem.

If you feel really confused or even frustrated,maybe you should give up on her.Maybe she just just doesn't want to have the romantic relationship with you,but she feels the need to chat .She doesn't hit on you and she doesn't want you to think she's indifferent or irrespesctful.

[Asker]

I know that, but it still makes me uncomfortable because I THINK I may be doing something wrong to get this response. A lot of times I walk by and I don't even look at her or say hello to which she'll ask a random question or a random comment and I just don't want to ignore her. I'm not saying I want to date her, I'm good with being friends because she is fun to talk to but I don't know what I have to do for her to be herself around me.

[Dannie0613]

All right.

I know nothing about you or her.Sometimes you have to figure it out yourself.Others have no way to know what's wrong between you two,especially you are not in a relationship.

Anyway,good luck!

[FieryRedHeadGrl]

She's probably nervous around you because she may like you. I get nervous around guys I like, even if I've known them for a while. She starts out feeling confident, but then, after she runs out of initial things to talk about, she gets nervous and doesn't know what to do. Just keep the conversation going, try and engage her. And to get her to stop looking at her phone, whenever she holds eye contact with you, give her a big smile, kinda like a reward for maintaining eye contact.

[Owlse]

It sounds to me like she likes you but she's shy. She probably has trouble warming up to a guy she likes...it's not uncommon. I'd just keep conversations going and be patient...she'll get more comfortable with you as time passes.