You forgot the number 1 ruel... "be attractive" How an action is perceived will vary depning on the apearance of the person doing the action.
You're not going to get all hot and bothered seeing an average looking guy reading a book. It's only hot if the guy looks like a male model.
Of course it's cute when a cute guy like Zayn Malik plays with kids but if it's a fat balding guy it won't be cute anymore. Then it's creepy and uncomfortable.
Same thing with playing with animals and doing chores, those actions are only attractive if the guy doing those actions is already attractive.
you do make great points and yes the negative things are often common sense to us but not all men have common sense. lol I too would have like to see more negatives at least as many pros as cons. You could have made it shorter by adding the cuteness together if you couldnt think of any more negs. also would be cool to see cons that aren't common sense or something that bothers you not just majority. for example if he's lazy and leaves clothes everywhere or doesn't work leaves the house dirty and only watches anime on the couch all day.
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myTake Owner
+1 y
ok cool this was my first time posting a mytake so thanks for the advice :)
I am not trying to start an argument, but there is somethings I feel a need to point out. There are plenty of guys that do all these things and women still don't want to date him. I think these lists are hurtful because people take these types of lists far too seriously. It isn't that I disagree with the list, but rather that too many people instinctively want to use them as a checklist, and then wonder why they aren't attracting anyone.
At best these lists are incomplete. The things on this list may be good traits for a man to have, but they won't replace the need to hit the gym, eat a healthy diet, and dress in flattering clothes. Unfortunately those common solutions are overlooked because a woman caring about a man's looks is seen as shallow, so few women will ever put those on their lists, and often flat out lie about them being important. I really wish people would stop acting like physical attraction isn't an important, or acting like it is too shallow to bring up. I think this list needs to include some lifestyle choices that would make him more physically attractive.
I also think it is important to point out that disagreeing with someone is not the same as being disrespectful. Often that is a card people try to use to win an argument. This idea of being disrespectful is very often really just a simple disagreement on certain political issues showing an incompatibility they have, and has nothing to do with respect. A lot of women even claim any guy that ever disagrees with her, or stands up to her bullying isn't a real man somehow. A man that instantly caves anytime his manhood is brought into question shows a great deal of insecurity and that is a huge turn off to most women.
This mytake is not "How to get a girlfriend 101" which most guys on here seem to think... Its just some small details which adds on to the attractiveness of the guy that they are most likely already attracted to. Its just general turn ons and turn offs.
@Rainie_ That was my point. People will want to take this as a "how to get a girlfriend 101" and then end up confused and frustrated when it doesn't work. Even though the things she said is correct, I would still file this as bad advice because it doesn't recognize how people, particularly men interpret and try to implement the information presented to them. Instead it will cause a greater misunderstanding for a lot of people reading it.
Women need to learn how to better communicate what they want from men, or else the advice becomes harmful even if the advice is actually true. Men tend to take things they are told more literally and as fact than women. We don't look for hidden meanings or assume there is some underlying message the same way women do. When a woman says something like "All I want is a guy that treats me well." guys tend to take that literally. That is why there are so many nice guys that have nothing else to offer women except treating a woman well.
This is why women have a hard time understanding a man, when he tells her exactly as he means. It isn't that men or women are dumb. It is just that we tend to communicate a bit differently and that causes problems with communication.
Seriously, nobody should take this as a "how to get a girlfriend" if they can read the title. Not to mention that this is also a mytake so it's my opinion and not all girls will agree with me. Almost all the guys are taking this mytake wrong, it's just my opinion on what I find attractive and not attractive in a guy.
Men just tend to communicate differently. That doesn't make them idiots. Guys take things more literally most of the type, and don't look for a more subtle meaning in words. "Things guys do that are attractive" Tells a guy that if he does that, then he should be attractive to women. Therefore it becomes a how to list. Just like when a woman tells a man "Don't change" it tells him not to bother with self improvement, since that would mean he would have to change. What a woman should say instead is that he needs to become a better version of himself, but not pretend to be something he is not.
Women can look just as silly worrying about what a man really meant when he told her directly what he meant. Women often just keep on trying to find hidden meaning in something when there clearly isn't any hidden meaning. It doesn't mean those women are idiots. They just commonly don't communicate the same way.
Ok, except for cooking, I do a lot of the attractive things on this list already. I read, am great with kids, and am pretty good with animals. I have different hobbies... But it would seem that having different hobbies (I can juggle, for example) doesn't seem to do anything for any woman I've seen, not that I do any of this to impress a woman.
In fact, I'd go so far to say that a lot of the positive stuff I do seems to be a negative to most of the girls I've met. They'll turn it into something that makes me sound like a HUGE loser.
I really do wish women I met thought being good with kids or being a bit geeky was kind of sexy. It's sexy if the guy is already perceived as having value. For me, it's not even remotely sexy. Maybe it's just the area I live...
Being older and more experienced than her? Because let's accept it when the guys are young we have no clue and when we are 30+ we know all the games girls have and don't fall for it and we have the confidence because there is plenty of desperate material available ;)
I read books, play with children, play with animals and cuddle with them and I have my own hobbies because they're a part of me and a part of how I enjoy life.
If a guy just claims that he does all that and starts playing with kids, animals etc. just to get a girl's attention, then he's a lonely fake ass faggot.
I do all those things so I guess that is why my girlfriend is attracted to me.
She did mention that she loved that my place is spotless and organized. Cleaning does take up a lot of time that I wish could be afforded to my hobbies such as kayaking, SCUBA diving and out-tripping lol.
Cooking is a favorite pass time and so is reading and puzzles.
I love my animals and am good with children.
Damn based on this list my girlfriend lucked-out!!! hahahaha
@redeyemindtricks don't get me wrong, I still make time for my hobbies... just saying I wish I did not have to spend the time cleaning and would rather do the hobbies. I couldn't stand the filth though if I just let it go completely. Life isn't always about the fun!
Hey, try this: TRY letting yourself "slob it up" as much as humanly possible. Really, TRY. Shock therapy.
If you try this with an open mind, AND REALLY LET YOURSELF GET OUT OF YOUR ELEMENT, I predict that the end result will be significantly greater balance and happiness.
This is the same kind of therapy you use for people with social anxiety who speak in public at 1000000mph. You tell them to speak aaaaassss slllllooooowwwwllyyyy as they can possibly stand to imagine... and it comes out at a perfectly normal, balanced cadence.
Imagine a poster that's been tightly rolled in a tube for 20 years. Now, roll it really hard the other way. Will it stay that way? Well, nope. It'll snap back to the old way... but it'll be closer to straight. You get me.
Try it.
I've seen the same thing work wonders, too, in the lives of retired military lifers who were completely lost souls without that kind of extrinsically imposed structure in their lives.
Seriously this fucking post is about "some" things that I (yes it's an opinion and does not account for all girls) find attractive. Just because a guy has all these things doesn't mean I will automatically date that guy (there are other factors). They are just things that guys do that are sexy.
i must be doing something horribly wrong, or im just ugly as fuck. I read books all the time, i love animals and have pets, I can cook, and love to cook for others, and I like kids. I'm still single though.
dude seriously, this wasn't a post on things to do that will guarantee you a girlfriend. This was just an opinion on things that make a guy more attractive.
I agreed until you said What one doesn't choose. You choose your gender identity , you aren't conceived or born a gender, we are born a sex. Gender isn't real it's a s social construct also gender has nothing to do with breast, penis, boobs... that has to do with sex. You choose to go out of your way to get hormones, wear dresses, put on make and have plastic surgery that is all a choice.
@redeyemindtricks My man blocked me for calling him thirsty, LOL. Here's the reply, anyway:
C'mon now Red, not everyone's as kinky as you.
I heard my parents attempts to fuck through the wall. 10 minutes of pounding. Seriously. My highschool girlfriend got better sex than my mom does. :D
Before all of that I'd have to deal with my trust issues and personality defects which is the scariest part. I mean, sure, it's easy to say 'do this to make your relationship more fun' - but it's the getting to that point that's the issue. I'm a deeply insecure yet fiercely narcissistic sociopath - I find it impossible to trust anything that I haven't seen demonstrated in a lab. How can I trust that when she says she loves me, she means it, for example? There's no Litmus test for love (as far as I know at least). It's the actual act of letting someone close that's truly terrifying.
So, just make everything an excuse for having wild sex? I like that. I'm also infertile so I'll never face the kid pro
You need to get better at this whole sociopath thing. I mean, I am best sociopath pony. Of course people love me. How couldn't they? Me me me me me. <3
I wouldn't deride 10 minutes, necessarily, either. If sex were just the old in-out, I'd get bored shitless in 75 seconds or so. I mean, dude, after 3-4 mins of monotonous thrusting, I'd be giving polite-yet-firm signals, like grabbing my phone and checking NCAA football scores. Even if it was Tuesday.
We don't often have 10 mins, or even close -- we have 3 kids and two different sleep schedules (both non-24-hr. our house is a fun place dude). Sometimes it's 20 seconds.
Boy's always got me on some form or another of probation. That system works, too. Usually 20-30 seconds is enough for me to get off pretty damn hard (esp if I have to stay quiet).
How much is he getting off in those 20-30 sec? Uh, dunno. Me me me me! LOL. But, he's still... doin' work, after 15 years, and he can get any girl (s) he wants. So... yeah.
@redeyemindtricks How does one become a better sociopath? I mean, I'm just basing it off of the fact I get a kick outta complex lies and deceit, and have a genuine desire to fuck with people's heads. :D
That's kinda my point, I mean, c'mon dad, switch it up a li'l. He's a bit of a religious fellow, so he's probably as vanilla as Vanilla Ice. Poor mom...
20 seconds to fuck? Damn dude. Really? 20 seconds? I'm glad I'll never have kids. I like to take my time over these things. :P
I mean, surely the quickest of quickies cannot compare to a good 2-3 hour fuck fest? Unless his dick's an industrial strength vibrator or something. :D
I thought I was the only one with a bit of a thing for crying women. :P
Seriously though, that was one of the hottest things I've ever read. You guys are masters.
What gets me is how you do all this shit, but you're, like, parents, and responsible adults... You just don't figure that the soccer mom at the school gates was being choked half to death less that 6 hours earlier... :P
Seriously. I only do anything even close to that shit with women I'm 100% sure I'll never see again.
Eh. I like "quickies". My idea of foreplay is being shoved onto my knees. I am probably not a representative sample, but that fuckin' boy KEEPS ME RIGHT THERE.
I am not a boy, so this analogy may be neither here nor there, but. If ejaculation is at step N, then imagine being stuck at step N-1, constantly, all the time. Don't think you'd need 2-3hrs, or even want it.
Every few months, we give the kids to my daddy and go overnight, to somewhere isolated enough where no one can hear the screaming. (: Now, that? That's measured in hours.
I actually have an evil plot to line up about ten or so 20-ish girls, for his 50th bday (still 3yrs away), and see if he can fuck through 'em all. Light 'em up, like a pinball machine made of girls. I mean, I almost wanna do it to be a bitch, kinda, because there's no way he could back down from a challenge like that, yeah? LOL Boy is pretty fuckin' smooth in high pressure situations, so I'm SO INTRIGUED OMG. We shall see.
Probably not, yeah, I see your point. I mean, it's different for you guys, you have each other to play with, you know exactly what you want etc. It's a different slut every time for me. I'm working with someone whose sexual experiences amount to being passed about like a bong by frat guys. I mean, I guess that probably makes me seem like a god in comparison, but still. They don't really know what they want, or if they do, they don't know how to express it. So I have to try and guess, and sometimes I get it right and sometimes I get walked out on.
'go someplace no one can hear the screaming' - Oh my, this brings back fond memories of my ex...
I like that 50th birthday gift, that's genius. I mean, you dude would be fucking other women, but still...
"I mean, you dude would be fucking other women, but still..."
I got no insecurities there. Me me me me me! Boy ain't goin anywhere.
I mean, this wouldn't particularly turn me on sexually (that I know of), but it'd be fun fun and games. Like srsly. He is not a man of many words, but when it comes to women he's a master storyteller. Like, old Haitian folk griot dude. Legend status. I've seen all the secondhand evidence, now I kinda wanna see it. LOL
He's collected 'em all, dude, and I really mean ALL. Literally almost two thousand, before age 30. All ages and races and sizes and (dis) abilities. And he's been coming home to me every day for 15yrs now. (me me me me me!) I mean, rly? How would I possibly feel threatened by that?
The boy was a revue dancer for 12 years, stage and private shows. Stage shows are pretty rulesy, but private shows? Hoo boy, boy.
He's never held a FT day job in his life, bc he was sufficiently good at finding "sponsors". Two main ones, one was a corporate VP sorta-girlfriend (the Corvette she bought him brand-new at 19 is still in our garage), the other a married couple with a sexually dominant wife who submitted to him. Like, hubby would send wifey on trips to Santorini with him. I seen the boy's passports.
He just really gets women, and really LIKES them. Shocker, right? Even the far-from-perfect ones. Collect 'em all. His regulars were all pretty hot in the traditional sense, but he has never given shit #1 who sees him where with whom doing what. He doesn't really make male friends, so there's never been anyone to give him shit about it anyway. LOL
His memory of the past is pretty fragmented, but he's been fuckin' since he was 12 at least. Maybe earlier.
Well, we are pretty into monogamy, too, but not in the (horribly life-snuffing suffocating) way that you describe. But, you can at least get it, right? Look back at yr comments about drunk slut carousel and so forth. Now, compare to what I'm describing THAT HAPPENS EVERY SINGLE DAY in this monogamous marriage that we have, and see how god-awful boring the alternative starts to look.
As for being a better sociopath, step 1 is to realize that sociopathy can be used for all sorts of end goals, step 2 is to pick some goals, and step 3 is to work toward them. Not much different from any other skill.
The boy has a literal black book, like, a register, of the women he's been with. It's not a body count, so much as it's a memory-jogger for future stories. I like good storytelling, a lot. The black book has 1502 entries in it, so there's the absolute minimum. And the black book is far from exhaustive.
@redeyemindtricks She bought him a fucking 'Vette? Most I ever got from my ex was a Dethklok t-shirt...
That story about the married couple, that makes me cringe just a li'l. Hubby's a total cuck :D
I like women, but only young attractive ones. I couldn't do the Pokemon thing. I know guys who fuck anything - I couldn't be one. Some of the landwhales they've dragged back to their dorm would make even the most hardened goblin-slayer shit a brick.
Sounds like you two were made for each other. Maybe 'the one' isn't just a fictional concept.
@redeyemindtricks OK, yeah, I see what you're saying. I doubt there are many like you, though. Most would just bitch and whine and try to tell me how to live my life and then when I changed for her she'd rip my heart out anyway.
The drunk slut carousel is pretty fun, for now. Until I find the mythical 'one'.
I never really viewed it as a skill... Interesting.
I have a list in my cell phone. Mostly for bragging rights to be honest.
"2000? I thought my stats were good... Those kinda numbers are off the scale, man, like seriously."
^^ This is because you hang out with normal people. My man is not normal. He was thrown away by 2 families, was on his own on the streets of opa-locka at 15, and is pretty deeply fucked up inside on a lot of levels. He is totally incapable of male friendship, and can't really have lasting female friends without fucking them, either. He smiles about 4 times a year, sleeps about 20 hours a week, and could never possibly hold down a normal job. You could live 2 blocks from him and never meet him once in 20 years. But, he's mine, and he loves me, and he's... human, with our kids and with small animals. And that's enough for me, dude. If one of us gets the better deal here, it isn't him.
@redeyemindtricks Damn... I just thought he had, like, insane game...
Sounds like a really shitty way to start out. I mean, my life's always been distinctly normal, y'know. Grew up in the suburbs, loving parents, all that shit. I can't imagine how different I'd be if I never had any of it.
Sucks to be your dude. Meh, you make him happy, so I guess he won in the end.
"Seriously though, that was one of the hottest things I've ever read."
You have low standards. (: I'm a good writer, but that was extemporaneous, 120wpm, no backspace key. Y'all should see some of the stuff I've actually edited. #ohsnap
"I only do anything even close to that shit with women I'm 100% sure I will never see again."
This ^^ is a mistake. A big mistake, and likely to lead to big fucking trouble someday. If yr gna explore stuff like this, you HAVE to do it with someone you trust. Women are callous and vindictive, and often don't size up situations until after they are over (even later if alcohol is involved). Srsly, if you are not full of shit and bluster here, this pattern could land you in jail someday. Or on the wrong end of a $30,000+ civil suit. Etc. I seen it happen wi' ma own aahhhhs.
@redeyemindtricks I don't read a lot of erotica, to be fair. My standards don't exist. :D
Yeah, that's the part I suck at. Trusting. I mean, I always make sure they're OK with it first, y'know, but I see your point. I guess I don't really consider later.
The only time I ever trusted a woman I did that kinda shit with was my ex. And she kinda broke me a bit.
Within reason, I mean. Think of all the things people truly MASTER. Guitars guns videogames sewing machines racecars violins etc... and, well, women.
The one thing these all have in common is, they have about the same # of controls/variables. Not just one or two (like free throws), but also not 100 (like a DJ switchboard). There are enough tweaks/controls for mastery to be a meaningful concept, but not so many that yr just throwing shit at a wall and hoping it sticks.
Women are in that same category. Totally a skill, same approx # of controls. Think on that for a bit. That goes for sex, and it also goes for relationships. You can't really master just one of those, by the way.
"That story about the married couple, that makes me cringe just a li'l. Hubby's a total cuck"
Weirdly not so much. My boy, totally Asperger-ish incapability for male/male interaction. No interest in belittling the "cuck", nor would he have blessed clue #1 how anyway.(cont)
Like, totally zero interaction there at all. It's funny when he tells stories about it, because his eyes still burn with annoyance at the thought of even having to pay attention to the husband at all. Nope. Had to devise ways for him to dominate wifey, and wifey to turn around and dominate dude, all the while with as little m/m interaction of any kind as possible. Literally, wouldn't know how. He is Rain Man with women, but he understands men about as well as if they were inanimate objects. Other men are just background. LOL
I mean, I even made him draw me diagrams of how they did some of these things. Yep, diagrams. Lmao.
@redeyemindtricks That sounds... Different. It surprises me that relationships like these even exist. If I were in that position I think I'd like mocking the husband. Then again I'm a bit of an asshole like that.
Broke you a bit? Fuck it. Get broken all the way. Ever tear a rotator cuff halfway? The surgeon rips that shit the rest of the way, then sews it. The hell you afraid of? You'll be old someday. Go out and live.
"Damn... I just thought he had, like, insane game..."
He doesn't really have "game". He just kinda has this snake charmer thing, where he makes women pull their OWN scandalous shit out -- like pulling their pockets inside out -- while he just stands there like a fuckin' schoolboy. He's like 99 percent nonverbal.
I mean, dude, we were in line at a grocery store at 6AM, with two people in front of us. In that much time, he had this old lady telling him blisteringly obscene shit about what she and her husband did when he came back from Guadalcanal. War ended in '45. That makes her 90 AT LEAST. Ninety years old, at 6AM on a Tuesday, lettin' it rip. He said maybe 7 words the whole interaction. The rest, just, like, eyes and shit. Not yr kind of "game", not even a little teeny bit.
"If I were in that position I think I'd like mocking the husband. Then again I'm a bit of an asshole like that."
Asshole is neither here nor there. He would literally not have clue #1 how to do that, even if he wanted to. I mean, other men are literally inanimate background objects. Unless they are threatening him, in which case he fights the only way he knows how, which is dirty, quick and deadly.
I mean, he might even be on the autistic spectrum somewhere, with respect to other men. Neither here nor there, neither of us cares to find out, and there's no reason to know. He's here, where he belongs. He's bout that life, and he's bout that wife.
I'm on the other side. I'm on the "love, and get yr heart broken, and love again, and get yr heart broken again, abd repeat until success" side. Because otherwise, yr kinda just pissing away the time until you get old and die.
@redeyemindtricks Yeah, I get that. A lot of people seem to be good at it. For me, I let myself truly believe that at 15 I'd found the girl I was gonna marry. Even bought a ring 2 years later.
Ended up chucking it in a river. I was days from proposing and I found out she fucked some 20 year old BMW-driving asshole. Changed me - I realized how vulnerable investing so much of yourself in someone else is. It just hurt so much, like, you spend time laying awake thinking about this idyllic future you think is guaranteed, you learn her favourite foods, her favourite flower, you comfort her when shit happens, you put your very being into the pursuit of happiness with this person.
Then, in an instant, it was all for nothing. I still have a picture I took on our first date. I look at it most days to remind myself just how fucking shit it felt to have it all pulled from under me. I really don't wanna feel that again, I'd probably be in the river with the ring next time.
Well, if my husband and I were the petty-scorekeeping type, we could sit down with you and play the "who's gone through more shit" game, and you would definitely finish in third place.
But, we're not bout that life. We get up and run more 40's. How bout you? No pain, no gain.
Nah, I get it. It's all relative. I got 3 kids, we don't live in the hood anymore, and their problems are defintely 1st world problems. But young people will always think within their own situation.
Until then, just do shit with yr life. This is not emphasized often enough. DO LOTS OF SHIT. Less down time, more busy time. That's how you get over stuff.
smarter guy is always attractive, especially he knows how to fix your car/pipe, even fixing your computer problem or any masculine works, it's such a turn on ;p
I can fix your car, and i know about computer and how to troubleshoot them... $100 an hour please!!! :D jk jk lol. i fix my friends car's for free, i'll never charge a friend.
I'm the biggest douche bag in the world and I have no troubles finding a good fuck. Don't believe everything you read bros.
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myTake Owner
+1 y
This my take was about things that I (let me emphasize that this is my opinion and not everyones) find "add" to a guys "attractiveness". And good for you that you get a good fuck from girls who like douche bags!
I'm confused, isn't gender identity and sexual orientation the same thing? like sexual orientation as whom you're attracted to? and isn't number 1 the same as number 2? I'm sorry, just curious If i sound insulting i'm not trying to be
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