11 Things You Have To Know Before You Try Online Dating

So the Internet is taking the world by storm, and along with that so is online dating. It is fast becoming much more socially accepted these days and a valid way to get to meet some great people.

Want to try online dating?
Want to try online dating?

With anything there are a number of issues about online dating. The main one I want to look at is safety. Some people don't want to try online dating, because they think its a place for stalkers, psychos and ugly people. The truth of the matter is, that Internet dating can provide avenues to meeting some really great and normal people out there.

Surprisingly there are some things that you can tell over the Internet to see if someone is wasting your time or is a complete psycho which I'll cover quickly from here.

Signs that this guy is decent, and most importantly, real:

1) He takes a little time to get to know you on the net. Whether that be by email or IM, and you guys have some common basis, which you can then build on during the first date.

2) He is interested in things about you, without asking too many questions.

3) He builds trust with you first and respect your boundaries. If you don't want to give out any more personal information, he doesn't continually try and get it out of you.

4) Surprisingly, chemistry on the net can be similar to chemistry in real life. If you can't talk to someone by email, then most likely, you won't be able to talk to him that well in real life either.

5) His answers are consistent.

6) He is patient and appears to have a good temper - eg, doesn't get annoyed when you don't want to meet him straight up or give out your number just yet.

Signs that this guy might be a possible psycho

1) He wants to meet up with you as soon as possible, even though they don't know anything about you.

2) He starts being too nice too soon. Calls you pet names the first time you get in contact with him... Like "hey baby, did I tell you how gorgeous you are .. Let's catch up some time xoxo". Usually these are players who are only after one thing.

3) He wants to meet you for the first time in a secluded place.

4) He doesn't want to tell you too much about themselves, but want to know everything about you.

5) He starts talking sexually way too early in getting to know him.

With that said, internet dating is really fun. It's a time where you can have 10 guys interested in meeting up with you and getting to know you all at one time. Your problems of not having any dates goes from that to, trying to squeeze your 10 dates in one week and which guy out of the 5 you have seen you like the best. It gives you a chance to be adored by many men who are eager to gain your interest.

If you have anything to gain from online dating, it may simply be the knowledge that many guys out there would like to get to know you better which makes it that much easier to smile at the cute guy that walks past you at the bus stop.

Quick Tips For Online Dating

  • Online dating is all about filtering out the good from the bad. It's like dating in many ways, but much more intense because you will have even more potentially interested guys than you may have in your daily life.
  • Stick to your ideal mate guidelines, without being too judgmental. Some people will try and contact you who are way over you age barrier or not what you are looking for and its just better to say no to them first up then to talk to them and try and find a good time to tell them that you are not interested.
  • Be upfront. If you just want to be friends with someone, then let them know and do your best not to lead any guys on who you are talking to and are not interested in.
  • On dates, always meet in a public place and tell your friends where you are going. With many of my first dates I always had someone with me to scope them out in the beginning because I was very paranoid.
  • Be gentle with people who are not your type. Just because it's the Internet doesn't mean that these people are real and they don't have feelings.
  • Make sure to write an upbeat profile and provide plenty of current pictures.
  • You are allowed to date as many people as you want, provided that non of them have asked you to become exclusive with them.
  • Give a guy at least 2 dates before you decide whether you like him or not.

Why Am I Qualified To Be Giving Advice?! - My Own Little Online Dating Experience

I came across a dating website and decided to sign up because I saw a cute guy that I wanted to talk to. My response was HUGE! After a couple of months my responses from interested guys was more than 500! I was also rated #1 on the "hottest list" within the first week. From these 500, I talked to about 50 of them. From that 50, I decided to meet up with about 5-6 of them (I was extremely selective).

All of the guys that I met up with were fantastic, genuine and awesome guys who I'm still in regular contact with. While none of them ended up being my ideal of what I was looking for, I did gain one best friend out of it whom I spend a lot of my time with and some great guys friends. Getting to meet and know them has made this exercise very worthwhile.

I didn't ever have a bad experience with this, because I was always careful with whom I chose to speak to and meet. Just make sure that you always trust your gut. If you have a bad feeling about meeting someone or even talking to them, then listen to it, because it is always right.

So with that said, go out there, get dating online and enjoy the ride. And let me know how you go!


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Most Helpful Guy

  • +1 y ago

    Good article - which inadvertanly highlights a key difference between the male and female experience online.

    A girl can get 500 responses in a month (that's actually quite typical, not too exceptional at all) but a guy will get about 1% of the responses. As numbers games go, this game definitely favours women.

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Most Helpful Girl

  • +1 y ago

    A guy called me cuteface after our first online convo but he stoped after awhile. Been talking to him for 3 months now he now calls my baby or babes is that a bad sign. We speak a lot both online and over the phone. We had plans to see each other but something came up but next week we def are.

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What Girls & Guys Said

3557
  • 23 d ago

    Love your myTake.
    And I agree with you.
    I talked to a lot of guys that was number 3 & 5 under signs that this guy might be a possible psycho. It was getting really bad but at the end I'm thankful that I finally found the one on Meetme gaming section. We're in a ldr as of now until I hopefully get to meet him next month to celebrate being together for 2 years. I know some people don't consider us as being in a relationship but I don't care. I love calling him my boyfriend.

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  • 23 d ago

    To Men: be attractive... nothing else matters You can be a convicted rapist and women will want you if you're good-looking
    All that crap about a sense of humor and personality is a lie because if you're ugly, then they will never bother to talk to you to find out.

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    • 22 d ago

      Yeah... this take didn't really convince me "away" from that.
      Online dating is a scam and is accelerating the gender tensions of society.

  • +1 y ago

    Pretty good. Only thing I would disagree with is that "the gut is always right" idea. By all means, you should trust your gut if you see some signs. I think caution is always a good idea. But that doesn't mean your gut is always right.

    That also means that people should watch what you attribute to someone whom you're simply not attracted to them or you find them ugly. I get some unfair assumptions made about me, and when I prove myself as being a good guy, I still get the unfair assumptions.

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  • 2 d ago

    This article is a waste of space, no offence. ALL the points mentioned are common sense and unhelpful. I signed up for online dating just today but I could teach all these points with zero experience. Talk about stating the obvious.

    If I could give one tip for online dating that everyone seems to need desperately due to a lack of proper life experience, it would be to keep an open mind and do not judge early, least of all a book by its cover. Give people a chance, they might surprise you. If you find something in them that turns you down try to see it from their perspective, after all they must come from somewhere and I'm sure it makes sense to them. Most people do not have the patience to sympathise by putting themselves in other people's shoes. That's all it would take to slowly learn acceptance and forgiveness too. I'm not saying you should open up to and date everyone, but give people a chance. I would bet my savings you all have missed out on so much (including true love) when you turned someone / something down prematurely. And you never find out, except when for once in your life you keep giving one person new chances and it all pays off.

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  • 17 d ago

    I’d say at least half the guys on dating apps are just looking for sex/no commitment so if that’s not what you want, that should be the first sentence in your bio.

    And yeah if he immediately starts talking about sex in his messages to you, just unmatch/block him as he obviously didn’t read your bio.

    It helps to post flattering pics (be sure to include a full body one) but don’t misrepresent yourself either. Don’t post pics of yourself in large groups of people or with your face indiscernible... people shouldn’t have to guess which one is you or wonder what your face actually looks like.

    Don’t post pics of yourself with someone of the opposite sex unless it’s obviously a relative or parent or something like that. I often see guys posting pics of themselves with an attractive woman (worse If there’s more than one). They must think it makes them more attractive but it actually has the opposite effect. It makes me think you’re insecure...

    Do write a bit about what type of guy or girl you’re looking for.

    Be up front about what you’re looking for. Don’t waste other people’s time, and most importantly, your own.
    Have common sense... don’t meet a guy at his house... I can’t tell you how many times a guy I met online asked me to “come over” for the first meeting. Never consent to that... it’s a red flag because he doesn’t respect you enough to actually ask you out on a proper date. And secondly, you don’t know the guy... could be a serial killer.

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  • 23 d ago

    It's a waste of time to text etc. before meeting. You can text for days and then meet and there's no chemistry. Or the person isn't who they claimed to be. So if there's mutual interest just got meet for coffee or lunch.

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  • 6 h ago

    A nice article for those who loves to try out for a date online. I am a guy who believes in real world and not much into this online world. So, I date only those girls whom I have met in person and find them attractive - beauty wise or brain wise or with same interests.

    Even though, not much for me, but a sure good guide for the online daters.

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  • 4 d ago

    You have some good ideas here. But you excluded the most important piece of advice: NEVER send anyone any money through these sites! Another important piece of advice is to realize that a lot of people are not who they say they are, and people send pictures of other people instead of themselves. Also, there are a lot more scam profiles from females or those pretending to be females than there are of males.

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  • 5 d ago

    Great myTake! I’ve had my fair share of online dating apps too! My only problem is that I never know wether to message the guy first or if I should message first. Since you seem to know a lot about the online dating world, do you have any advice for me in regards to who should initiate the conversation first?☺️

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  • 19 d ago

    I've only been on an app where u can meet people, it's not really a dating app even. So yeah I've never been on a dating website where you fill in information about yourself and put up photos and look for potential matches. So I wouldn't know. Maybe in the future I'd give it a try.

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  • 22 d ago

    I liked this! I chat online with a lot of people, dating or no, and one real psycho comes to mind! He kept trying to get me to meet him in secluded places and then wouldn’t leave me alone. Finally I had several friends send him random dick pics for like 2 days straight. He finally changed his number and stopped stalking me

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  • +1 y ago

    I am over many girls' online age barrier - what I mean by that is I am having 0 problems chatting up 21-23 year olds in person if they happen to look like interesting people, whereas online I just get cut off, I think due to stated age. I am not specifically after 21yr olds, just my soul-mate. I thought the idea of online dating is to broaden who you get to talk to. I'd rather not lie about my age online - so ladies what can I do online to match how I do in person? More pix? Better pix? Video?:)

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  • 24 d ago

    Where are the signs that a woman is a time-wasting, gold-digging bitch or a psychotic drain on your soul?

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  • 17 d ago

    I meet a few guys online who is the same race but not the same lifestyle and ideology. I was open to date other race and i was going to give up but suddenly a good man came in my life and took care of me but when i was sick i did not let him take care of me because his duties in workplace

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  • 20 d ago

    Awesome article!! I have done the dating on line, got sooo many replies, but i only went on 7 dates. We got along but was not my type once we met in person.
    I like reading your post. Thanks for sharing your experience!

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  • 23 d ago

    Some people do want to meet up fairly soon rather than chatting online for a while, not knowing when/if they are going to meet and waste their time. Saying that, in not one of those people.

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    • 23 d ago

      @Starshine85 I agree with this and have been caught in the continuous 'text spiral' too many times. In retrospect I would have asked the woman for a date sooner. At the time I didn't want to come off as too forward or pushy by asking her out too soon.
      So I guess there is a sweet spot in there somewhere. I do it by feel these days, and I'd likely get the same results using my old dartboard.

    • 23 d ago

      Agree as well. First woman i met online sent me 3 messages on the 3rd message she asked to meet me. I was caught off guard by the fact that she was that quick about it. She apparently was just an aggressive woman ( i mean she messaged me, she asked to meet me) but she was completely normal.

  • +1 y ago

    I have recently started online dating and it took me a week or two to find someone I really clicked with! But, I loved that there were so many options! you could email, chat then meet up! I would recommend Plenty of fish to anyone! :)

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  • 4 d ago

    Good mytake on this, it definitely caters to women with online dating, you’ll never hear a guy get that many responses no matter how good he looks, I think there are a lot less women on there than men from my experience and age has a lot to do with it

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  • 21 d ago

    Number 4 on the psycho list is going to ruin a lot of good guys. Most of the time guys are asking all about you because they live boring work filled lives, they aren't psychos they're just uninteresting. (And being uninteresting is how they earn enough money to offer something to a woman)

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  • 21 d ago

    I tried an online dating app for meeting Japanese women, most of them were fake and the ones that weren't fake were complete gold diggers. I've decided to stay away from those types of sites and maybe just use Tinder. However, the selection from Tinder sucks and most of the women are undesirable.

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  • 22 d ago

    I disagree with 90%, what others said about the men having to put in the most effort to the point of potential exhaustion (profile picture, attractiveness, etc.) is more correct and even in my experience just trying out a few different sites. There /is/ a difference between men and women here.

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  • 23 d ago

    Good take. It work for some and it doesn’t work for others. I didn’t have any luck with online dating. Always come cross insured guys. I just talk to guys on Facebook more now. Since my current boyfriend is where I met him. I feel uncomfortable around dating site.

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    • 23 d ago

      Bad boy type of guys i

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    • 22 d ago

      Can you clarify what you really mean with the first part (sorry that... ) ?

    • 22 d ago

      Wasn't at you meant. it was meant for someone else. Who was massive idiot.

  • 4 d ago

    online dating is promoted buy people tri g to run a business so I've learnt most girls their get paid a fee to date or be online not worth it when they use females to get great reviews from guys usely they dobt work out once you meet them cuz they send some 1 who looks not much like the photo or personality they say they have

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  • 22 d ago

    I think this is spot on. I’ve ran to everyone one of those psycho categories and they do turn out to be bad news. I’m just starting to talk to a guy that is in the good category now and so far no red flags ☺️

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  • 23 d ago

    What you should know before you try it... just don't. Nothing but sex hungry loser guys and validators. And I'm fairly sure some just forget they're on there and haven't bothered to close their account.

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  • 4 d ago

    I never did computer dating before and don't plan on it. I like human interaction and face to face communication.

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  • 20 d ago

    I'd disagree with meeting ASAP. l making you a psycho.
    Maybe I don't want to waste a ton of time chatting online as 10minutes face to face is worth a thousand online hours

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    • 20 d ago

      maybe women have a right to be cautious. and what even is 10 minutes face to face? if i'm making the effort to meet someone then i expect to be with then for at least an hour.

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    • 18 d ago

      @Miss_Savanna_Dry am with you on this one, am fed up of this online dating stuff but saying that, I'd put her safety first and foremost.

    • 18 d ago

      Not sure why you all think a meeting in a public bar is dangerous. And psychos prefer to talk online, easier for them to hide.

  • 4 d ago

    I have had caring degrees of success. Generally meeting at some kind of social event is best for dating potential, but now that I'm older it seems more lucrative, because it's relatively cheap. Compared to going to pubs and clubs and picking up.

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  • 5 d ago

    I've tried online dating. Nothing but robots and scammers. I tried 4 or 5 different sites... nothing but bots and cons... I finally just gave up, closed my profiles, and accepted that I am alone in this world, as I have been most of my life.

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  • 1 d ago

    Not true. I want to date a girl as soon as possible actually because I'm not a psycho. I prefer meeting real people than chatting behind a keyboard all day long.

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  • 19 d ago

    Meh, it is too much work. Go out today in the real world and you could be dating by the weekend. Join a dating site and you will be messaging and going nowhere fast for months, maybe years.

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  • 3 h ago

    on your number 1 on psycho list. I would argue against that a little bit.. when I'm single, I use online dating, but I would NEVER even for a second consider starting a relationship online. Its fake. Your pictures are selective, I can't hear your voice or see your body language. It doesn't matter how much time we spend "getting to know each other"... I won't know I like someone until I get coffee or a beer with them and talk to them face to face.

    So why wait? If someone has potential, I ask them out.

    Lets be clear, that first online date needs to be in a well-lit crowded area that is safe for both people :)

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  • 1 d ago

    These are pretty good guidelines but I might find myself falling into the psycho category :) great mytake!:)

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  • 19 d ago

    I think online dating is not reflecting the truth about real life!
    As I personally meet up in real life and how could you spend hours on internet just to write a answer to someone who you never going to meet up in real life at all.

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  • 20 d ago

    Guys will tell you how awful online dating is for them but I have had good success online. There are some aspects about online dating that are different and they require some attention, but I suspect most guys just hastily throw together a profile and think that women will flock to them.

    A guy who presents himself as a gentleman, a fun guy, not a platter, who is sensitive to women's concerns with online dating will do quite well. I have had several long term relationships form from online meetings and I am currently living with a lady who I met online.

    I know there are tons of marriages that began with an online meeting, so obviously it works.

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  • 22 d ago

    Thanks for this post, i'll keep these in mind.
    It has to be said that how complicated people (i mean girls) make things for themselfs sometimes.
    I'm genuenly interested in her, then she starts this analytical BS and it's a big turn off.

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  • 19 d ago

    For guys we only have to know one thing about online dating. Don't do it.

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  • 4 d ago

    I would add that there is a reason these people are single. If they seem perfect you should remember that clearly something is keeping them single.

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  • 22 d ago

    Wow didn't know number 4 was true. Its a real chore this online thing. I wish everyone the best of luck with it.

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  • 23 d ago

    Online dating is such a hyperpaced, minimal attention span type dynamic that it makes sense to get to whatever 'it' is sooner than later.

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  • 23 d ago

    Great advice! I've been considering trying out online dating for the first time and this is super helpful!

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    • 22 d ago

      If you want to be a huge red flag (most likely be a mental nutcases or not girlfriend material) for serious people (men) on dating services you should fallow those points.

  • 20 d ago

    I will just tell you the My take owner
    u dont know shit about dating real man , seems like u ve been dating tons of pussified pro feminist beta males when i read what u have written

    I never told a girl she is cute , beautifull unless she is my girlfriend , i never told her any kind of compliment or called her pet names or texting her xoxo - who the fuck does that like for real

    I dont wanna talk too much about myself for few reasons at the beginning that doesn't mean im a psychopath - u dumb or what?

    these types of dudes are not the players those are called pussies by men like me

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  • 2 d ago

    Great take but it was referring to online dating a man, i thought it would be both man and women cause the title.

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  • 5 d ago

    I will learn those 11 things before I try online dating

    Thank you

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  • 48 min ago

    One more important thing. If no one of your desired sex likes you in your local area, you won't do well online either. Experience says that.

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  • 20 h ago

    I disagree, I've had guys on dating sites be perfect in profile bit on meeting we're polar opposites, I've also had one guy I was talking to for over two years on and off across several platforms and based on your take he seemed ideal everything he said about himself was the truth he made me feel comfortable enough to open up, we spoke as if we had known each other forever and he was open and honest about everything. . . . except the fact that he has a girlfriend of nine years (yes I did a reverse image search on him, sorry not sorry)

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  • 18 d ago

    I can see your point. But every time I been them they come across as a cross between porn site and sex site...

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  • 22 d ago

    I met my boyfriend on a dating site 4 months ago, it’s a LDR, he lives in a different country, we are making it work.

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  • 22 d ago

    Good luck with most of it 😂

    Try the opposite on most of them and you will get better luck ;)

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  • +1 y ago

    Live and learn. I found out something new about myself from your article. I'm the psycho.

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