Boys are confusing. I really don't have much experience with them, but the experience I do have has me taken aback with confusion.
To illustrate, I'll share my most recent boy experience.
About 2 months ago I asked this guy out. When I did, he said "Yeah, sure! How's Friday?" immediately. But then a few hours later he texted me, saying, "Hey, so I found out I can't make it on Friday because of baseball" (separate text) "Sorry I was in a hurry earlier and didn't think about it". Then I texted, "Oh that's ok, I understand. Are you available Saturday?" Then he said, "Sorry, same issue" (seperate text) "I legit can't do anything until the end of the season". I replied, "It's cool I understand completely". A minute or so later he texted, "Most stuff is in the evenings" and then seemed to be texting more. I waited for him to finish but the "..." symbol dissapeared after about 2 minutes of being there and I didn't know what to say. I just didn't say anything in response.
That weekend, his Saturday game was cancelled (he posted about it on Snapchat). I snapchatted him, saying "Aww that sucks". He responded immediately and we had a conversation, albeit a very short one.
The following weeks were super awkward. We saw each other in the halls but didn't really say hi. We just glanced at the other and walked past. I said hi to him a few times and every time I did he said "oh, hi!" back, as if he was surprised I was talking to him. I didn't really know what to do. I wasn't sure if I had been rejected or not, and I knew he was busy, so I just kind of gave him his space.
I did talk to him a few times. Both times with people there. Both times quite awkward. During one, we laughed at an inside joke we had and smiled and looked at each other. During the other, the girl who was speaking with us left, the conversation became awkward, and his friend walked past. He proceeded to make a b-line to talk to this friend, who left after about 30 seconds. We then sat outside the school, alone, waiting for our parents for 10 minutes. He glanced up a couple times but when he saw that I saw him he looked back down at his phone.
A couple weeks after I had asked him out, something else happened.
As I mentioned, it was the baseball season. It was also the track and field season and I am a runner. At a meet, I made friends with this girl. It was my first ever 400m race and I was super nervous. She helped me feel better about it. As we were about to run, the start guy called my name to make sure I was in my lane. I have a very distinctive last name, and she remarked on how cool it was. I said thanks and we were about to race. I false started.
Then, we sat in anticipation of the guy, she said, "Oh I know where I've heard your name before! ______(he) was talking about you!" Then the gun went off and I had to race. After the race, I found her and asked her about it. Turns out, a couple of weeks before I had asked him out, he had been talking about me with her. She had asked him who was on the debate team and he said I was: the girl with the awesome last name that makes way for an even cooler nickname. She didn't know me, so he described me. Of course, she still didn't know me. He then told her how nice, smart, and funny I am.
After she told me this, the girl figured out that I liked him (my face I guess). She then made it her life's mission to get us together. She asked him about it the next day. She apparently went up to him and said, "Oh remember that girl you told me about? I met her." He apparently denied ever talking about me. But she didn't listen and told him that she agreed with his assessment: I am nice, smart, and funny. He agreed with her again and that was it.
Later, she took a selfie of the two of us on Snapchat. We looked particularly good, so I asked her to send it to me. She said she would send it to him, to which I told her not to. She told me she wouldn't, but did anyways. He opened it but didn't respond. (However, he usually does this.)
A couple weeks later, there was a concert at our school. She knew he was going, so we planned on going together and seeing him there. But a couple days before, she talked to him. She asked him if he was going, to which he said yes, then told him that she was going with me and asked if we were friends. It had been about 5 weeks since I asked him out. He said (irate, since she caught him before baseball and insisted that he speak with her), "we're acquaintances at most. Now I've got to get to baseball practice," and walked away.
Then, this Wednesday during lunch, she walked up to him to talk to him. His friend asked, "Is this the crazy girl?" To which he said, "She's not crazy and no this isn't her." My friend then begged that he tell her who the girl was. He said it was me. She saw this as a way to have a conversation about me. She asked, "didn't she ask you out?" to which he said yes. "Didn't you say yes?" to which he said yes. "Didn't you then cancel because you were busy?" He then said, "It's not like I didn't want to go out with her; I'm just super busy." She then told him to "make a move" and talk to me. He said he was too busy. She asked him why he couldn't just talk to me, before practice, before school, after practice. He said he was too busy.
Then, before another one of my races--my first 800m--the friend came and got me. She asked me to follow her to the bathroom. I was obviously annoyed, as I was stressed out and I didn't see why I had to go with her to the bathroom. Then I found out why she had dragged me over: he was in front of the bathrooms. She went up and said hi to him. I said to her, "I'm just going to go to the bathroom." I went to the bathroom, hung out for about 2 minutes, and walked out. Then I went up to her and said, "I think I should head back." I completely ignored him and walked back to the start line, as I was about to race in a few minutes.
Later, I asked her what he had said while I was in the bathroom and after I had left. She said that after I went into the bathroom, she teased him and said, "You need to learn how to talk to girls." He then said, "I don't care."
Then, the next morning, he outright avoided me. He usually goes to his 1st period class 20 minutes before school starts and hangs out. My friends share his 1st period, so I go with them and see him. That day, he went to this study hall area and didn't go to his first period until about 2 minutes before school started. Which is very unlike him.
I felt really bad. And I was really annoyed with the friend for bothering him incessantly when I told her to stop multiple times. So that weekend I texted him, saying, "Hey. _____ told me about how she's been bothering you and I just wanted you to know that I had nothing to do with it. I've actually been trying to avoid you... That's all." He opened it pretty much immediately but didn't reply.
After baseball season ended we started hanging out again in debate team again. I didn't want to bother him about this stuff because AP testing was coming up and he actually is really really busy.
Like this is the type of kid who has Harvard in his sights. He is in leadership, debate team, plays baseball and tennis. He's in all AP and Honors classes and does stuff like writing speeches paging for senators in his spare time (something he actually did). During baseball he had practice every day and 3 games a week.
Anyways, with time he started warming up to me again. There was an event actually where we were supposed to recruit new members for the debate team. We both attended.
During the event I met a few of his friends. They all weirdly knew my name and talked to me a lot. My other friend told me that during the event he and his friends looked over at me and whispered quite a bit. Whenever I looked over, he would be looking at me and I would promptly look away.
As we became friendly again he started checking me out more. Like a lot. So I took this as a good sign.
And there was one last good sign that tipped me over the edge. During a debate club meeting, we played a game. I was being very loud and outgoing (because I get really flustered around him and louder) and he was relatively quiet and reserved. Someone pointed this out and he turned to me and said it was "representative of our semi romantic relationship". I was like "wait what?" And he smirked and said "don't worry about it."
I had been trying to clear things up with him for weeks and after the meeting I tried again but chickened out. I realised I would never have the courage to ask him about how he felt in purpose, so I decided to text him.
I said, "______ I know you probably don't care but I really like you (in case it isn't obvious by the fact that I lose all ability to think in debate club just because you are there.) And honestly yeah I know I've been acting really confusing and erratic but dude I literally can't tell how you feel about me. And because of that I have no idea how I'm supposed to act around you. At all. Like I'm cool if you don't like me and you just want to be friends but I kind of need to know that so that I can act like a friend and get over you. So I don't know can we talk about this? Like before school or something?"
He took nearly 24 hours to respond. And I know he was online because he viewed my Snapchat story. When he did he said, "Well I'm sorry I don't reciprocate." (New text) "I'm not really looking for a relationship in high school tbh" (new text) "like you're still a good person, but not in that way".
What the hell? I don't think I'm stupid. I don't know what I missed. But seriously he seemed like he liked me. And he said yes when I asked him out!
What is up with you guys and sending mixed signals!? Why are you so confusing?
Honestly after this is prefer being single.
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