Dear Boys, Why?

[Anonymous]

Hey guys! this is going to be a different take today. So last year I was really frustrated with my crush and a few of my guy friends. See he had just told me to "shut up" which i didn't know how to handle: therefore making this poem "dear boys"

Reading it a year from now, I realize had the power to block him out. I just didn't and then blamed him and my friends a lot. But anyways, I kinda just wanted to share my message and I also wanted to know, why do you guys do this?

So with out further ado...

Take a minute to stop
Maybe I don’t know… think
*Gasp*
Think for ten seconds
Think for a whole bus ride
Think on the way home
THINK WHEN YOU ARE AT HOME
THINK AND PONDER FOR HOURS

Over how many girls you have told, “go away” “shut up” “I don’t care” “you are being annoying” “what do you want” “you are stupid”

How many girls is that? If its more than five... More than four... More than three... More than two... More than one...

Maybe YOU need to go ahead and think about what you are saying to that girl right there

Now imagine those same girls,
THINK about those same girls
THINK about all the great experiences you had with her
THINK about when you two laughed together
THINK for just a second, use your brain and THINK

Now let me ask…. How do you think she feels about you?

And no I don’t mean in a romantic way for WHY would she want to get romantic with you when you turn hot and cold in front of her every day?

Have you clicked out yet?
Was this too hard for YOU to read?
Why? Did I make you do too much thinking? Or did I access your FEELINGS?
Or do you feel THREATENED by my words?
Are YOU taking it PERSONALLY?

Probably asking me “what is the point?”

Well… the point is that girl, she’s taking it personally too

That girl,
the one you tell “shut up”, and then come up and try to laugh with her the next day
That girl,
the one that you have amazingly opened up to and she has spent time listening and helping you just so she can come up to YOU and get a “go away”
That girl,
The one that was your friend from the start when you didn’t have many friends gets a “you are being annoying”
That girl,
The one you liked who just wants to talk to you gets a “I don’t care”
That girl,
The one that was one of your only friends who talked to you when you sat alone at lunch… she gets silence

And the next day you walk in on her thinking everything is peachy fine

You expect her to laugh with you again
You expect her to listen to you again
You expect her to smile

Because you don’t think you did anything wrong

But… she's standing there looking at you speechless (and not the good kind) because she is so baffled at you and what you want with her!
What? she's sorry she took it personally because its totally just a a joke when you tell her “you are being annoying”
And she's standing there thinking “you are just like every other guy I've ever talked to”

she's standing there thinking “every guy does this, but this shouldn’t be normal”

And she's thinking “what the ****, maybe I should just leave”

And she's pondering, THINKING
Thinking for ten seconds
Thinking for a whole bus ride
Thinking on the way home
THINK WHEN SHE IS AT HOME
“why the **** do I talk to douche bags?”
“Why the **** do I deal with this type of behavior”
And she knows that YOU slip up sometimes
But why would YOU do it repeatedly?
AND there's a million of those girls out there thinking “why does he keep doing this?”
there's a million girls out there thinking “why does every guy I know do this to me?”

And if there's a million girls… and she knows 10 boys who do this
How does that make YOU stand out?

peace out✌- anonymous

[NineBreaker]

This might be a bit ageist of me, but he is after all a boy, and I am thinking particularly a teenager. Newsflash! Teenagers are normally not mature. You're probably a teenager too, and therefore not that mature either. He may have been genuinely annoyed by you and told you to shut up. I agree it's not the polite thing to do, but he may have been genuinely annoyed. I don't really know..

You have the right to be annoyed or upset by his statement. He probably shouldn't have told you to shut up. However, I hate to break it to you, but that's not something unique to boys, men, girls, or women. People will insult you. People will tell you to shut up. People with disrespect you. People are flawed. It's a fact of life.

Let's assume that you were completely blameless, and you didn't deserve being talked to like this. Did you consider that maybe he was dealing with something heavy? Maybe he had a death in the family, or has a family member in the hospital and is just putting a brave face. Maybe you said something very innocuous but because he's going through a tough time you didn't know about, he didn't like what you said. I'm not particularly making excuses for him. I'm just telling you that there may be a logical explanation behind what he said and what he generally did. You might wonder, "He seemed OK. He didn't seem sad or in distress." That's possible. Let me inform you: Boys (and eventually men) are conditioned in our society not to complain or show weakness. It's not always a healthy thing, but that's just how things are. It is what it is.

[SirRexington]

A couple things I want to say about this.

1: This wasn't really a poem.

2: That guy might be bipolar.

3: Why crush on him if he did it regularly? Or did he, im sort of confused about that.

4: There is the possibility he is awkwardly joking and doesn't understand.

5: You could just get on his nerves sometimes but he still likes you overall. Which is why he still tries to talk to you.

6: This sounds like a very complicated situation. Seeing as I wasn't there to witness it any opinion I give or anyone else gives should be taken with a grain of salt.

7: Why didn't you just talk to him about it?

[myTake Owner]

i did, everytime he was on and off i did. he never answered

[ChandlerRoxx]

He was probably just joking around and you wanted things to be prefect
Welcome to the real world, princess

[Wowgirl10q]

Yay Rex

[VIVANT]

If a guy or girl talks to you that way then they are not going to “think”
About it bc they don’t care. Anyone who cared woujd think about it before doing it and not OR realize immediately that was totally disrespectful and apologize.

If they do this and don’t recognize it’s wring they are not your friend and there is no reason to get angry, just leave them. Instead if giving away power by wasting energy on people who do not care, walk away.

IF he’s very important to you and to think he deserves it then talk it over. But mostly these people are just dumb and rude and are not worth it.

Anyone getting annoyed is free to COMMUNICATE. People who choose explicatives over communication lack the insight and skill set and respect required for maintaining a decent friendship. in my opinion.

— Like anyone here , rationalizing being rude.

🙄

[myTake Owner]

i told you this was a year ago, and that i now know that i had the power to walk away from him. this take also had an underlying reason for that girl who could just be in the same situation as me to see that they have the power to walk away

[VIVANT]

Sorry it’s a manner of so along. I did not mean “you”, I mean “one” like this so my opinion of how people should deal with it. I did see you say in retrospwct, . I did not mean it as an advice to you. That was unclear.

🙂😊

I also think this is not just for girls guys get treats Ansley from either gender it’s just good advice for anyone.

[Wolf_bite666]

Look I know I have a vagina but, I have been in a relationship like that. Everyday he would make fun of me or ignore my very existance, especially in front of friends. He tore me apart inside made me feel like trash. But when we where alone he would treat me like I was the only thing that mattered in the world. His hugs felt so genuine, and his eyes lit my soul aflame. I don't know why I loved him so fucking much, I wanted to give him my virginity. He broke up with me I took him back, then I broke up with him. I know how painful it is, but u can't put urself through that shit no matter how much u think u can take. Because soon u start to loose urself, and what truly matters.

[myTake Owner]

yeah i know

[Wolf_bite666]

Wym?

[myTake Owner]

oh sorry, i got a little defensive there, but you have a good message and i agree with it, me a year ago isn't me today, i kinda just wanted to show my experience, thankyou for sharing yours too :)

[Wolf_bite666]

Yeah we all live and learn and I'm so glad your not in cycle and we are both moving forward.

[Max_Stryker]

Thats kinda how it was with my girlfriend, she was like a swing set, she was never just stable, tore me apart when she would flirt with guys infront of me. Her mom liked me more than her, she would say stuff like, "hes so tall", if you guys had kids they would be blonde with blue eyes", and yet my actual girlfriend never gave me such a compliment.

[ChronicThinker]

... Was this even a poem, or, just a glorified bitchfest?

Boy was an asshole, that's all there is to it.

[passinby]

“Over how many girls you have told, “go away” “shut up” “I don’t care” “you are being annoying” “what do you want” “you are stupid”…”Never, not my style. “Maybe YOU need to go ahead and think about what you are saying to that girl right there” I always qualify my statements to women. “Well… the point is that girl, she’s taking it personally too” Yes because I have no feelings obviously.

I have rarely experienced close to this with my girlfriend s. I have been lucky I guess that I seem to attract the ones with common sense and they seem to understand human nature and that things are not always perfect and they know like I know how to adapt. Your take is a basic reflection on basic immaturity. Fortunately I can’t personally relate much to it.

[Reggieray]

If I'm saying that to any human being, it's because they're mighty annoying and there is no worthwhile reason to attempt to have an intelligent, more meaningful conversation. Furthermore, if they are consistently that irritating they are probably not my friend. I'm not sure why I would hang out with someone, on purpose, I didn't want to talk to or care what they had to say. Sorry, these guys aren't your friends. It's likely that they're hanging around you because you're hot enough to try and fuck, but too annoying to listen to you talk.

[VIVANT]

There is no reason to speak that way to any human being. I’m surprised as an adult you try to rationalize obnoxious bevahior. If someone else is being idiotic this should not make you an idiot.

As you say if you don’t like them you would not be around them. So you have no excuse to talk that way.

[Reggieray]

@VIVANT As an adult, all of your interpersonal relationships are voluntary. Also, other adults will talk to you a number of different ways, positively and negatively. Whether their abrasive jerks or Debbie/Donny Downers, you don't have to put up with their shit. By that same token, if you're an abrasive jerks or a Debbie/Donny Downer no one has to put up with your shit. Consequently, in the adult world, if you are negative you will lose friends. While most of us will do our best to politely ignore you - or show some patience so we can get along with our days. Occasionally, however, you will have to show some agency and tell people to take their negative bullshit elsewhere. Abrasive assholes drink fear and intimidation like Nosferatu drank blood. Sympathy-baiters drink pity like Amy Winehouse drank whiskey. To survive as an adult, you need to learn to deny toxic people without becoming negative yourself. You've got to show fucking agency and learn to stand your ground. I wish you well!

[Jextcurious]

"It's likely that they're hanging around you because you're hot enough to try and fuck, but too annoying to listen to you talk."
Bravo. You guessed it. Best answer.

[ATuairiscean]

Good poem - The teenage boy is at the same time the most complex and the most simple of creatures - I am reminded of a conversation I had with my niece's boyfriend who has just started his teaching career and he explained to me one of the main difference between boys and girls is... (His words) "When you scold a boy, the next morning its gone, the boy will go Hi Sir, hows it going, what are we doing today? , with a girl if you scold her, you will be getting the death stare for next month" - My point is the 100 things that are important to a girl only a small few will register with a guy - A teen guy's thought process "Boobs, What's for dinner, boobs, How is my favourite team doing, boobs, how do I get to next level on a video game, boobs... etc"

[Wolf_bite666]

The male teenage mind is truly an enigma lol. Honestly though, people don't put into perspective that females come out of puberty as males are just getting started. I remember being horney/thirsty as he'll, while all the middle school boys where still picking their noses. Then when the boys were in it and tittes where everywhere, but all the girls had their w hormones under control, that just kinda a fucking tease. LMAO

[Jextcurious]

I didn't finish reading the trash. Girls are highly inflammable emotional tanks. Boys get a shut up all the time and no drama. More than once a day myself. I also say it to others when necessary. A shut up might be necessary for a moment it depends. But anyway I am not defending guys who'd be jerks to girls but a guy telling me to shut up won't offend me. Even if it managed to do, not long or I do same to him another time and we are even. Ever watched a movie where military or sports guys talk trash to their mates but then they are much more cooler? men You didn't have to write a poem. Too emotionally dramatic. Stop taking things too personal sweety💕😉

[Wolf_bite666]

Yo believe me I am a supper blunt person, and I don't hang around or start drama because I find it so exhausting and nonsensical. Every one get ragged on, its how friendships are built and function. However if I am in an argument, or even in a calm conversation and my significant other tells me to "shut up", we are going to have a big problem. It's such a disgusting disrespectful thing to do, and it, in my opinion goes over a line. Regardless of the gender of the sayer. I've also learned that most people, arnt as blunt as I am, and have trouble addressing issues like this face to face (making no connection to the author), could u fathom having someone disrespect you so bad and having it churn inside you building up but not being able to say anything? Anyways man its not just the words, its the action itself is gross and demeaning and I would be dammned if ANYONE thought it was ok to talk to me like that.

[Wolf_bite666]

Just an FYI people, write poems to expresses feeling through a metaphorical and abstract sense, much like men write war stories, so that they can get more to understand how they are feeling.
Also using "Sweetie" after the tone of ur argument is taken as patronizing.

[SngBirdy]

Your problem is that you think gender equality is real and that just because men should put up with it, girls should too. But they can't. So why dont you just accept that and behave accordingly. You tell the girl to not take things too personally, just because thats how you are. But she can't do anything about it, so stop complaining.

Personally i got rejected by girls in very mean ways, but i dont see that as a justification to treat girls like that too. Why? Because im a adult man and i can deal with it. And i know if i tell a girl to "shut up" or anything, she is going to be very hurt. What reason do i have to hurt someone like that? None.

Honestly, while your comment sounded rational and logic, it just doesn't apply to the real world.
I think you are an idiot

[Wolf_bite666]

@SngBirdy THANK YOU

[Jextcurious]

@SngBirdy
"What reason do i have to hurt someone like that? None. "
Exactly none. If there is no intent to hurt her, why would she? I won't. The moment was just right for a shut up; nothing personal, and she just had to understand it like I would.

"I think you are an idiot"
Welcome😂 to my world of rational and logical idiocy. Is it an irony or oxymoron😂?

[SngBirdy]

"of rational and logical idiocy" and i usually always agree with it, but:

When a little child kicks you in the shin, the last thing you would do is kick him back. It might be logical and fair, but you just can't do that in real life. What happens if you do? Is everyone going to think its fair, or are you going to land in jail and be shunned by your family?

The little child represents women.

[Jextcurious]

@SngBirdy
" The little child represents women."
Women always playing victim.
When a female teacher rapes a student, she goes to prison for less than a year.
When a man rapes a woman, he is thrown in prison and the key thrown at the bottom of the sea. 😹

[Jextcurious]

@Wolf_bite666 you people love me , don't you? You all wanna reply to my comment. Alryt honey, you got ma attention😜. And PLEASE don't you ever again call that a poem. You are blemishing the dignity of the art of good writers like me. If you love me, don't do that😘💘.

[Wolf_bite666]

@Jextcurious I don't love you and I'm not responding for you, I'm trying to support the author. Also but poetry, poetry is an expression of emotion. I know actually poets who write worse poetry as that

[Jextcurious]

@Wolf_bite666
"I don't love you"
You are just shy to admit publicly. Your secret is safe with me🙊💘😜

[Wolf_bite666]

Oh fuck ur right... how could I have been so blind I do love u with my all my soul... baby where have u been all my life... please come take me in your strong forgiving arms and tell me u forgive me for gping against u😂😂😂😂

[Jextcurious]

@Wolf_bite666
Sure baby I am coming for you. Let me put on my Superman suite. I will fly with you so high and dump you broken hearted💔. Not my fault baby, you ain't the only girl who wants to fly with me. If I can't handle all the weight, I just gotta drop some😹😂. If you love me, you gonna take risk💓 shut your brain and think with your heart💗😂

[Wolf_bite666]

omg your really present yourself as such a shameless dick😂😂 however it was good for a laugh and a short flight across town so sweet. I formally claim u as victor and hope u celebrate accordingly. I wish you a happy life and self contentment

[Jextcurious]

@Wolf_bite666
"I wish you a happy life and self contentment"
Wish 😇you same

[Jextcurious]

@Wolf_bite666
"omg your really present yourself as such a shameless dick "
Am just MGTOW. Don't be surprised.

[Wolf_bite666]

Well at least you stand firm and strong in what u believe in, and I apologise for the name calling. Have a nice life sweetie

[DJZest]

@Wolf_bite666 Nobody - I repeat - nobody cares about your emotions.

So, shut the hell up.

[Wolf_bite666]

@DJZest you don't know how happy that makes me... no that u care or anything😂

[Wolf_bite666]

*not

[Mitinal]

So first of:
1) Dont generalize
2) not all of us are idiots
3) Some of us use brain before talking (At least i do)
4) Sometimes emotions take over, real men apologize, kids dont
5) You are probably being annoying, at least your way of writing is
6) Maybe think about this too, did you do something to annoy him? If yes maybe stop doing that
7) If he didn't like you, like you describe, he wouldn't talk to you again next day
8) and last but no least we are not all the same, some of us are idiots, some are good guys, rest is in middle. But we are all just animals with guns and cars...
PS sorry for bad English, not my primary language.

[OlderAndWiser]

Adolescence and the sexual awakening can be SO painful because you develop feelings that are new and life seems to be a roller coaster. Remember that adolescence is like boot camp; you are being prepared to engage someone else honestly, openly, and sincerely. That doesn't always work out like ice cream sundaes in the park, but you only need it to work once for your life to suddenly feel complete.

Good luck!

[LeonW]

I don’t know how old you are but you do seem quite young.

In life we cannot control what happens to us ( for the most part) but we can control how we react.

Your value as a person is not dependent on others, it is dependent on the value you place on yourself.

Maybe spending some time alone getting to know yourself would help.

It is yourself you will need to depend on for the rest of your life after all.

[Browneye57]

Seriously, consider that not everything that pops into your little head needs to be verbalized. Never give up the opportunity to simply STFU.

Really, the constant chatter is unnecessary - especially with your guy friend. This is something to reserve for your girlfriends - that's what they're for.

[Pyrofox]

This is some harsh truth. Guys are not looking to date a bumble bee they want a partner who is going to be there through thick and thin.

Its like the idea of would you rather get the honey a bee makes or the literal bee that can sting and maybe even kill you? If it were me I'd go with the honey cause its both sweet and sticky which means it might be just right to stick around XD.

[DJZest]

Mad respect for you sir. Thanks for being a role model for us younger men.

[Browneye57]

@DJZest - so, check out the pink down-votes. These special little snowflakes actually believe it's their right to say whatever they want, which is true, they have that right, but they've also been told it's good and proper - that they NEED to be HEARD. While anyone can do anything they want whenever they want, choices and actions have consequences.

The 20yo's - they're all great to look at and all, youth and beauty, 'till they open their mouth. Then it's 'oh god, what now'. Diarrhea of the mouth and constipation of the brain - if there are any. LOL

[Lance1965]

Couldn't agree more.

[DJZest]

lmao

Absolutely, sir. Special snowflakes - always in need of emotional diapers; if only such a thing existed.

Herd to find good women these days. It must have been different back in the day - from what I heard!

[kellytd]

I feel like the same could be said to women in how they treat guys? ... I don't really talk to people though, so maybe it's more common this way. Regardless, just think before you speak and give other's general courtesy and respect, and you should be good- this goes for both genders of course.

[JSkiy]

I don't exclusively tell girls to shut up, just if anyone is annoying me and/or being an idiot.

Then I tell them to shut up/go away/whatever.
If they choose to be offended by my words, that;s their choice, not my problem.

[Wolf_bite666]

Exavctly man, that's why it hurt so much for her signigicant other to say that to her, the implication.

[Max_Stryker]

With the way you are acting, you are a child. Grow up, you can't handle being told to shut up? How old are you. I've never once in my life told a girl any of those phrases you've listed but that doesn't mean you need to be so weak and childish. Grow up already.

[Wowgirl10q]

Your expecting pigs not to roll in the mud.
Men think momentarily
Not emotions not feelings just be quiet right now...
Your thinking to much they are not complex creatures.

[VIVANT]

Very cool picture !

[Wowgirl10q]

@VIVANT thanks

[PrettyRegular]

Well I would treat my girlfriend like a princess.

[Max_Stryker]

We are very simple creatures, one of our wishes is someone that can handle being told to shut up.

[Wowgirl10q]

@VIVANT thanks miss

[ThisDudeHere]

So basically the entire point can be summed up with, "hey, be considerate!"

[SketchForger]

Don't worry.

I tell everyone in my life to shut up, much less girls.

I do understand what you're talking about and sometimes men will dislike you purely in the basis you're different.

Nothing is actually a noting about you besides the fact that you're different to them, and sometimes there's nothing you can do about that.

[TrixiePooch]

I wonder why?

[SomeoneBlue]

I get what you mean completely... but at some points some girls get really annoying. Im not one to be rude or tell them to shut up or any of the other examples above. But, I definitely get why guys can be rude. It gets really annoying.

[Gopnik]

what the fuck?
so you're saying we can't tell you to shut up if we think you're annoying?
we can't tell you you're annoying because you have boobs and a vagina?
that's fucking ridiculous.

[Wowgirl10q]

Shut up lol

[MovingOnAgain]

I don't think I've ever said any of this to a woman or a man. These are all just dick moves to pull. Wish I could say more, but I can't relate to having said any of this. I'm sorry you have :/

[winterfox10]

So basically... you wrote this poem, because... one day... a guy treated you... the way girls treat guys every day?

[myTake Owner]

after one guy told me to shut up. but really it was many guys: a "friend", another "friend", a guy i dated, and another "friend"

[myTake Owner]

the guy telling me shut up was my last straw

[winterfox10]

Ah... my sympathies... I hate when people flip flop

[ChandlerRoxx]

So true my dude they crush my heart man

[winterfox10]

@ChandlerRoxx you're only 15 now, but unfortunately it doesn't get any better as you get older!