Why Being the Bad Boy/A**hole Comes With a Price

[Anonymous]

So everyone has heard the saying that nice guys finish last and girls love the bad boys and assholes. While this is true in some cases I want to shed some light on why, even though being the bad boy/asshole may have its perks, the consequences for these actions sometimes outweigh the rewards.

I was the bad boy, I've been arrested, been to rehab, have had anger issues, was rebellious and I was a drug dealer. I treated girls like shit and in return I got laid.

Then one day I met this girl that I treated the same as every other girl and I didn't think much of it or her. I was just doing what I normally did with girls...little did I know that I would fall in love with this girl. She was the girl that just wouldn't leave me alone and constantly wanted more out of the relationship. I just wanted sex from her and she wanted to be my girlfriend. At the time I didn't care for her at all, I would just treat her like absolute shit and that just seemed to make her want me even more.

Then one day I stopped talking to her and ended things between me and her badly. A few months later she texted me and we started things up again; except this time it was different, I started developing actual feelings for her. I started caring about her even though I told myself not to I did anyways and she felt the same way back, even though I started developing actually feelings for her I still treated her badly. Then one day she told me that even though she loves me she can't be with me because I'm too unpredictable and unstable and that she is afraid of getting hurt by me again.

I told her and promised her that I would never hurt her again and that I love her, but she wasn't buying this time. Even though I was serious she didn't believe me, and this was the moment I realized that being this way and living the life with the bad boy reputation has its consequences. I finally found the one girl I've ever been in love with and now she's gone because of the lifestyle I choose to live and how I treated her.

In conclusion just know that living this life comes with a price, you may finally find your true love and soul mate but being a bad boy/asshole will only push her away.

[Anonymous]

I wish more guys agreed with your story. I knew such a guy and because he always played this card, he thought he was hot shit. But the truth: No personality, no content. Just manipulation. And yea, I fell for it initially. Because I truly thought he wasn't an asshole. That I was in the wrong somehow and that's why he treated me so poorly.
I hate to admit it because all the bad boys will use it as proof that these slimy techniques work. But I realized that I was crying way to much for getting treated like shit and so I avoided the guy completely. I cut him off And you know what, the guy thought I was playing the same moves that he was to get his attention. except I wasn't.
I hope I never run into these guys again. I hope karma gets them big time in the end because it hurt like hell.

[AleDeEurope]

Being a bad boy looks appealing, but in the long run, it's not good.
It gets you the attention you want. It gets you the sex from lots of girls. It may get you a relationship too, but with either a bitch or an idiot, cause no smart good girl will fall for a bad boy.
So yeah, it's fun when you're young and you don't want anything serious, cause you get lots of rewards being a bad boy. But when you grow up, you won't get shit, cause no smart good woman will want you. No worthy woman will go for a bad boy, marry him, and have kids with him, so it will lead to a life of unhappiness and emptiness.

[myTake Owner]

Exactly my point it happened to me

[SuperNovaRoyalty]

Sometimes, the good girl may not always know best in this type of situation. I've been the good girl... on a much, much lesser extreme though.

[RustlingJimmies]

" smart good girl will fall for a bad boy."

Smart girls do fall for bad boys too because women know that the nice, stable guy will always be waiting for her once the bad boy is done.

[RustlingJimmies]

"no smart good woman will want you"

Again older woman cheat with badboys behind their BF/Husband's back. Ideally a woman wants a mellowed out alpha.

Alpha who no longer needs to puff out his chest and start shit, speak loudly like what appealed to them when they were younger. The calculative, more mature, and resourceful alpha who still has the unpredictable, capable of throwing fist if necessary that evolves from the bad boys in the early 20's.

The only reason a lot of woman want nice guys later is because they have stable jobs while many of the bad boys in the past failed to evolve.

[AleDeEurope]

@SuperNovaRoyalty Yes, some good girls may also go for bad boys, but not the smart ones.

[SuperNovaRoyalty]

I'm fairly smart, and I went for a bad boy once, I think..

[IceCubedude]

@SuperNovaRoyalty you're 13 how bad of a boy can a 13 years old be? we're talking drug dealers here, trouble makers, guys who are armed and fight when there isn't even a reason to fight , an asshole who will tell you straight up " if you dont do this iam gonna fk you up " someone who can't control himself or his anger, thats a bad boy.

what you had was a boy who seemed attractive, confident and he told you i want this and that, put him against a guy 4 years older and watch as he pisses his pants , not his problem though he's simply too young to know any better.

[JensonStatement]

because our fathers and grandfathers fucked up. In history and also not that long time ago taking risks and doing dumb shit, was an real manly way to impress girls and you still see it. I asked my uncle about the enviroment and being sweet to a girl. He asked me if i'm a faggot.
Also the badboys in school had a big entourage in school. thsi sound like a real American-High-School-Saved-By-The-Bell scenario but it's true. I live in Europe and still there i see that badboys who smoke and drink get all the girls.

Guys if you smoke and drink but not get addicted, you get girls.
Second thing following that history shit. No shop sells shirts if everyone wants pants. That means that the women felt for it. How stupid it sounds it's still true. And following up; every guy had a time that people asked if you were stronger than someone, especially in middle and high school. If you didn't fight you seemed weak.

Every girl says that nice guys will be lucky and at the other side. Nice guys are hatred here and considered fake "because we don't show our true colors." I think that's the hardest bullshit i've ever heard but that's what the think. They think bad boys are real and that's the stupidest shit like Emlo on Crack.

I don't know if you have heard of if but nice guys want commitment and some women don't want that. Also are bad boys not afraid to lose a girl, because they know that they can get others soon. That's what makes them strong.

#4. This is the most classic thing what i'm going to say. Bad boys become projects and Nice guys aren't. Why would someone help with an finished project. Girls will try to fix you but they can't. They will powerdate a badboy but they're like mouse with mousetraps. They think they can escape but they can't because they catch feelings and THEN when the bad guy reveal their real colours they will getting a hard time to. They feel like needed in this way.

#5. People think nice huys have no self respect. If a girl wants something and you as that nice guy give it them (to control you). They think they can dominate you and that means no pussy to night. Nice guys are to nice and it goes that far that they can control you easily.

#6. People think nice guys live boring lifes. I actually agree with this one.

HARDEST TIP EVER: Give them their "real colours."

I see so much of this questions here. Why?

[Anonymous]

Did something similar. I was a nice guy turned asshole (not nearly as bad as you) but I would be careful never to compliment, to be to available, to be open with my feelings, to care about my gf's problems etc.

About 3 years ago I met a girl that could of been the "one". I strung her along... did just enough "nice" guy things to keep her around but I never went out of my way from her. I had absolutely power.

Anyway problems started happening in my life and I took them out on her. She got fed up with it (I also withheld sex FROM HER for the since of power... we had a role reversal) and she dumped me. After about 2 months I realized I really did love her but by then it was too late.

I thought she would come back but instead she got brutal. And she stayed brutal. Never gave me a chance to redeem myself. Now she is pretty much engaged to another guy. I lost my chance forever.

Point being I was an asshole to something that was very precious. Good news is I found a new girl who I'm being more careful with. Not TOO nice but definitely not too insensitive either.

[YourFutureEx]

LOL look at their faces
cf.girlsaskguys.com/.../...a8e3-ede51287515a-m.jpg
cf.girlsaskguys.com/.../...a839-cca392920d99-m.jpg
The moment when people tag you in posts titling assholes

by the way your story sounded like a typical rom com lol not saying it's made up but really?

[SmokemJay]

This sounds like it was written by a female... trying to convince men that women are somehow special. Im going to tell you where you fucked up.

"I told her and promised her that I would never hurt her again and that I LOVE HER"
You broke that asshole frame that you had and she thought of you as weak and left. People will chase what they cannot have homie, women especially. Im willing to bet she had daddy issues which is why she chased you. I've seen countless women get physically abused, chase, and stay with men that abuse them.

[thetundrawolf]

What a gritty, honest, open take. It takes a real MAN to make a take like this.

My friend, soften your heart, be open, and don't treat women like sex objects. What you learned from this girl you cared about, you will apply to the woman you are going to fall in love with, who won't give up on you.

In return, treat her like the gold she is. There is no other one like her. She must be priceless to you, worth more than rubies.

You made mistakes... But you learned. I dealt drugs, too. Survived two near fatal overdoses, had guns held to my head, survived an attempted murder even where a bullet literally grazed my head. I used to hate women but in my years of loneliness I have developed a respect for them, and a love and compassion.

Don't stop until you have a soft heart for women. Be careful of which woman you trust, too, because many women can be as vicious as we were.

Best of luck man. I will be praying for you as often as God puts you on my heart.

[Anonymous]

Nonsense. You can be a "badboy" while still maintaining a loving relationship. Your mistake was founding the relationship on abusiveness and apathy. she clearly enjoyed that abusiveness and apathy then when you stopped being abusive she got bored of you. It wasn't that you were unstable and unpredictable. She already knew you were. the real change was you stopped not giving a fuck about her. she was innately unqualified for relationships of any kind. She is drawn to unavailable men and it will probabky take her 10 years to figure it out. Prolly daddy issues. So it was her fuck up not yours.

You can be as bad as you want so long as you found the relationship on love. being an asshole though won't end well. I never had a girl i was wit break up with me or not want to be with me and I think I was badder than you by a good bit. Just not an asshole to the girls.

[Anonymous]

Yeah I guess that's true. Personally I don't believe in being bad. It's called bad for a reason. Just be genuine and if she doesn't like that, she's not worth it.

Can u help me out on a question? It's a story about a girl, just updated it, so see the update if u can? www.girlsaskguys.com/.../q2161515-can-you-solve-a-problem-like-a-girl-read-description-first-fully

[RedHood7]

"In conclusion just know that living this life comes with a price, you may finally find your true love and soul mate but being a bad boy/asshole will only push her away."
This sums up my nice guy experience. Just replace 'bad boy/asshole' with 'nice guy' and it works fine.

[Bandit74]

You also screw things up for other guys because the girls you hurt end up having more emotional baggage and have a tendency to be more guarded with the guys they date in the future.

[tyber1]

This is like telling starving children how awful it is to have all the chocolate pudding you could eat because it made you fat.

[Bandit74]

Lol, perfect 😂

[myTake Owner]

You guys are missing the whole message of this. I'm trying to warn guys that if they act like this be careful, because you might end up losing a girl you've fallen in love with and not even realize it until it's too late and she's gone and wants nothing to do with you

[tyber1]

Actually, it is you that is missing my message. I understand yours just fine.

[Zippitywhoopwhoop]

I genuinely do nice things just because i like helping people. I hardly ever treat women badly and don't blame them for my short comings with them. I am 25 and have never had a girlfriend. It pains me that some women love these guys that treat them like shit but it is their prerogative and not something that i should try to force them out of.

[hellionthesagereborn]

Of course, its no different then a woman who is promiscuis, you trade in long term relationships for short term sexual gratification. Though honestly I think this says a lot about women, just as much as it does about the "bad boy".

[Anonymous]

Yepp, all the guys I knew like this cleaned up in our teens and early twenties.. they are all single now while my girlfriends are all married and all the guys have the ones that got a way. It's sad, a couple can still get really young girls for alittle while before they grow up alittle bit and start going for what they want... the bad boy thing has an expiration date for most woman.

[Anonymous]

The whole thing seems pretty stupid to me! The central idea of a "bad boy" is a guy who doesn't really care about females and only uses them for sex. What is all this crap about a "bad boy" falling in love? If we're talking about a "bad boy", he's playing 2 or 3 other women on the side and totally devoid of love! There's no down side here! Only stupidity! There's nothing more stupid than a "bad boy" falling in love!

[Luci92]

This made me sad, sounds like a rom com I would watch but without the happy ending.

[brain5000]

Real rom coms usually resolve this by having the girl change her mind at the very last second, but yeah, what you said.

[redeyemindtricks]

@brain5000 happy recent birthday (?)
... I think you were still 20 last time I saw a post of yours

[Luci92]

@brain5000 yeah :/

[redeyemindtricks]

@Luci92 tbh I'd bet good money that the take writer (i) is female, and (ii) has recently been played.

[Luci92]

@redeyemindtricks *sighs* you're probably right too.

[brain5000]

@redeyemindtricks Yep, my birthday was last Thursday. Thanks! :)

[redeyemindtricks]

@brain5000 Yw xx

[Marinepilot]

I have seen what you speak of happen. A girl I dated left me to run off with
her ex boyfriend who was a bad ass to the bone. They knocked over a 7-11 and the clerk
behind the counter pulled out a sawed off 12 gauge shotgun. They were maybe
2-3, 4 feet away at the very most. BOOM BOOM ! Two shots of 00 buckshot.
At that close range that gun will cause some serious carnage. Both were DOA
to the charity hospital. So yes, they both suffered the conseqences. All so preventable, really.

[AriadneSky]

how do you fall in love with a woman with zero self respect or dignity or any sense of what a decent person is. how can you trust her, let alone fall for her? and how does she fall for a guy who is shit to her. you both sound crazy.

[Anonymous]

Just lol if you think she leave.

1. You failed her shit test and lost frame.

2. If you had remained in your alpha frame of reference she would be coming back to you eventually.

SHAKING MY HEAD. LIVE AND LEARN.

[chriss]

this is generalization because how can every bad boy be the same person while everyone has a different brain with different tastes?

everyone is different and they have their own tastes.

[Anonymous]

To me this sounds fake, like a guy that is bitter over not getting the girls and writing an experience he wished a "bad boy" would have to feel better themselvs. It's a little in the content too but the way it's written makes it seem fake.

[StickStickity13]

Agreed, I've never met a player who regretted what they did