Men Seeking/Flirting With Women is a Social Construct

[Anonymous]

Hiya. I was thinking about talking and writing about this topic when it comes to men.

A lot of people say men are usually the hunters, they seek for women, they want to fuck women, they are very desperate, they flirt with all women.

It's not true. It's not biological.

It's a social construct.

It's all about cultures and how you grew up, and how you view the world.

I know many guy friends. A guy, he is straight, he doesn't look for women or interested. He is plain straight but doesn't crush on people easliy. Just like me, I don't fall in love immedietly.

So men are different. Some men may fall in love and not show it. But it depends on what culture or what you learned from.

Do you believe in it? I believe. If we put example a little boy from a dad who isn't so romantic, focuses on his life, does his best, lets his son do anything. He will turn into a guy who isn't the man seeker, seeking for women all the time and flirting.

The guy I know, many women chase him. But he told me he likes another girl that he knows but isn't dating her. (He loves games and football, acts normal)

What do you think? In India/any country outside the western world, culture men are usually taught to run after women and sext. In western world we usually don't. It's not always what you're taught by parents, but also the area and how you feel.

[meowcow]

There is a reason why it is the men who chase the woman, while the woman is timid... in virtually all human civilizations.

It pretty much mirrors most other animal species where a male is physically larger and dominant than the female.

That tells me it is not a social construct. That means it is natural for a male to chase after a female for the human species. However, the manner in which a man flirts with a woman and vice versa may be constructed by personal experiences and culture. For example, western men flirt much differently than say... Chinese or Japanese men, who are considered comparatively timid. But it is always the male going after the female on majority.

Note that just because you can forcibly change a behavior, doesn't mean it is a social construct. As an example, gender-nazis and trannies want to make you believe that gender is a social construct. It is not. If left alone, all human civilizations and cultures will come to the same conclusion regarding gender, which is that there is only a male and female gender.

However, if you take a newborn child and force it into an unnatural environment where you are telling them they are genderless... then yes, you can change the mind of that child. Just like ISIS can turn children into terrorists by subjecting them to enough violence, and how pedophiles can make children think the abuse is normal by starting them at an early age.

[Astoriana]

Basically everything is a social construct. They’re not all inherently bad. Clothes are a social construct. That doesn’t mean that you should go out in -40 C weather naked.

[myTake Owner]

I was trying to express and prove that not all men are pigs and seek for girls all the time.

[Astoriana]

Yeah, that didn’t come across very well.

[Astoriana]

@HeAintMe voting is a social construct in the first place. A system of government is a social construct. Language is a social construct. The concept that women are inferior to men is a social construct. The concept of gender is a social construct. Shall I go on, or do you get the point?

[HeAintMe]

"voting is a social construct in the first place."
No shit Einstein.

[Astoriana]

@HeAintMe do you have anything interesting to add or do you just want to shit on women some more?

[Astoriana]

@HeAintMe he wasn’t that wise if he couldn’t spell broke properly.

[freakyzeaky]

It is only natural to be attracted to the opposite polarity, whether it is a man seeking a woman or a woman seeking a man. We can be content with ourselves, but our energies seek each other out. We can say that we are whole on our own, but in reality, men and women are two parts of a whole, and in many ways, we are not truly complete without each other in some capacity.

Lust is all about some perceived lack and this is why no matter how much we fulfill those desires, we always seek more. Love, on the other hand, is to live in the moment, to realize that this moment is all we will ever have. In that way, lust is searching for happiness in the future, it is about finding self-worth and fulfillment in what we don't have, and love is about accepting ourselves and others as we are, in the present.

We are social creatures. We want to express ourselves one way or another, whether that is creative, through our bodies, through our achievements, or through our connections with others.

When we actively search for something we don't have, others notice and pick up on the fact that we are trying to fill a void in our lives. However, if we are accepting, not just of others, but of ourselves, then we merely reflect this acceptance and love to a greater intensity and begin to open ourselves up to what /is/.

Surrendering is not resignation. Surrendering is to accept what is, take action or to not take action, and then accept the consequences of those actions (or inaction).

Often times we seek romance and love because we want acceptance, we want validation, we want a sense of belonging. These things, realistically, can only happen when we accept that we are already worthy of it right at this very moment.

On a more visceral level, many men want to be able to make women feel good. They want to know they are able to provide, not just financially, but to be able to deliver happiness as a lover, as a father, as a companion, which comes from the core of our Being. Flirting or being a good communicator is a large part of delivering that happiness to women. It is a large part of connecting on a romantic level. Some men identify with their ability or inability to deliver this happiness, yet fail to realize that this happiness is a secondary effect of simple acceptance and being authentic to one's own Being and the joy that comes from embracing that authenticity.

And our authenticity, that is biological, that is part of our core Being, not any social construct.

[Being_a_good_Indian]

*"A lot of people say"*

From my point of view their is difference between what people say and what is Reality.

*"men are usually the hunters, they seek for women, they want to fuck women, they are very desperate, they flirt with all women.*"

Every woman who is single in the 21st century is faced with the struggle of trying to find a suitable man to date. Unfortunately, trying to decipher who will be genuine and who just pretends to be is a daunting task.

At some point or another, most girls have fallen for guys they thought were perfect, only to realize these guys were only perfect at one thing: telling girls what they wanted to hear, but never acting on it.

The truth is, there are two types of men in this world: the hunters and the gatherers.

*"it depends on what culture or what you learned from"*

Women who were the most dormant segment of India population have now become active participants in all walks of life.

As a mother, her role in the development of the emotional psychological aspect of the new born child has been also very significant. She was not only the creator and maintainer of her child but an educator and disciplinarian as well.

The woman is now an important instrument of social change. The extent of woman’s participation in the corporate life is thus the measure of social change in India.

*"In India/any country outside the western world, culture men are usually taught to run after women and sext"*

What Indian Mother Teach to her Child

A real man never hurts a woman. Be a real man and respect women. If you don’t respect her, you obviously don’t deserve her. She is a Woman, she is a Mother, she is a Daughter, she is a Wife, she is a Sister. Respect Female.

Girls want attention, Women want respect. 🙃

🙏Humble Request 🙏

Please avoid Speaking about Indian Culture. You might not be aware about INDIAN Culture.

What is Western Culture?

😊

Read my opinion on Rape Culture In America.

www.girlsaskguys.com/.../a49664-rape-culture-in-america

6 downvote from BOYS. 1 downvote from a GIRL

4 upvotes by WOMEN.

One more thing about Sexting.

It is concept of Western Countries.
What are your opinion on Girls who create different accounts Every Night to do their Daily Ritual?

In western world we usually don't. ? 😊😊😊

[Being_a_good_Indian]

(Credit: McAfee)
Former US representative Anthony Weiner wasn't the only one to get hooked on sexting -- apparently, nearly half of all US adults' smartphones contain sexy photos or texts.
McAfee wrote than 96 percent of people use their phones to take pictures, and 49 percent send or receive sexual content via video, photo, e-mail, or messaging. People also store this provocative correspondence -- 50 percent of adults store sexts and images they receive. While the majority of sexters, 77 percent, send this racy content to their significant others, 16 percent send it to complete strangers.

Unsurprisingly, the age group that is most keen on sexting is 18 to 24-year-olds -- 70 percent of people in this age group receive sexually suggestive photos and messages. Also, men are more likely than women to send and receive intimate information -- 61 percent of men partake in sexting and suggestive photo taking, while 48 percent of women do.

[myTake Owner]

Indian culture is worse by far.

[Being_a_good_Indian]

Why do you think Indian Culture is Worse?

Keep your point. I will try my level best to tell you reality about MY Culture. Let's Clarify the Confusion. 😊🙏🇮🇳

[Investigator]

At first I thought you were trolling, then I realized you were sincere and on further inspection, you've committed a metric truckload of logical fallacies. Where should I start:

"I know many guy friends. A guy, he is straight, he doesn't look for women or interested. He is plain straight but doesn't crush on people easliy. Just like me, I don't fall in love immedietly."

Anecdotal evidence is not evidence, also sample size is too small. Also also, you've committed the fallacy of composition, by assuming that this one example is somehow indicative of all men or at least a majority of men. And even if that isn't actually your argument, the subtext is that "not all men chase women", which is true, to the extent that men either see no reason to do so or simply aren't able to. Doesn't mean they don't have those urges, which is why they flirt in the first place. Some men just have a harder time at it (like myself)

"So men are different. Some men may fall in love and not show it. But it depends on what culture or what you learned from."

Yes, people are different, and behavior is dictated somewhat by culture, but not as much as instinct. In the absence of fear and scorn, men will go after women, as is their biological imperative. Unless you're then going to tell me that the sex drive itself is a social construct, in which I case I will refer you to my posterior and say "bite me!"

"What do you think? In India/any country outside the western world, culture men are usually taught to run after women and sext. In western world we usually don't. It's not always what you're taught by parents, but also the area and how you feel."

You're conflating correlation with causation. Just because in India that is the norm and in the west it isn't, does not indicate a direct link in behavior; it would be an indication of societal trends, but nothing else. In conclusion, the only part of flirting that could be considered "socially constructed" is the manner in which the action itself is carried out, not that it happens.

[Anonymous]

It's social and biological and in combination it is incredibly complex.

Their biology motivates them, their friends, their media, their own thoughts, their own experiences and so on will all come back to influence any final action a person takes. They're all *potential* factors, so it's further complicated because some things that happen to them might not make a splash on person's character. Furthermore, responding or not responding to changing external stimuli or changes withing the self might make you vulnerable or more resistant to more internal and external changes.

In short this is complicated as fuck and I can't imagine anyone considers this a uniform and easily explained behaviour that applies to a large portion of the population, it's ridiculous.

Men who don't chase every girl they meet is not a rarity, I'd say it's the majority, at least in western countries. By the example you've given the dude just has a crush and isn't interesting in making the effort toward other girls. That's pretty damn normal. That's me basically, but maybe his motivations for acting that way are different. Maybe because he gets a lot of attention from girls that means he doesn't feel the need to put effort in. No one in my life impressed upon me the need to be proactive with girls. I did whatever I wanted and it left me lonely, I wish I had had someone encouraging me to be proactive. I don't get *any* attention from girls as far as I can tell. At the very least *they aren't coming to me* and that point alone means that I need to make an effort to make things happen. So now Io'm trying to incorporate that into myself. It's an incredibly complex social construct rooted in biology.

Everyone has it different. But you can't say it has no biology. What do these men who don't chase feel? Are they comfortable with the attention they get without putting in effort? Do they want more interaction with girls but don't know how to go about it (pretty common)? Do they have no interest at all? Are they crushing on one girl for the time being and do they crush easily? Maybe they want more attention but find that many women are unappealing to them in one way or another whether or not they get attention themselves.

So the two things I'm getting at here is that there is a biological component that we can't ignore and that even the social aspect alone it's far more complicated that you make it out to be; overt behavior has many underlying motivations that I think are important to know.

[oddwaffle]

Umm... No. It has been around since people can speak human language. Stop putting social constructs over natural selection. We aren't that much better than animals. We just got better at sugar coating it.

A long time ago, pursuing a female had always been the male deal. It's because sperm are cheap and eggs are expensive.

The male would either give the female something to demonstrate that he is worth more than a sperm sack. From his ability to hunt to his powerful muscles. Or maybe his healthy body or maybe his wealth. Everything that would matter to the survival of the female and her future children.

Of course, at some point this pursuing efforts can be simplified by just raping the female. Impregnate her and flee somewhere. Her family would catch the guy and if they think he is worth something then he would be kept as a groom. To avoid such consequence, the males would target other tribes by kidnapping the females and turn them into brides later on.

This age old method hasn't changed since forever. We just have much different consequences for kidnapping and rape. That's why men have to go back to the pursuing with much more efforts. Thankfully with contraception, the females are a lot more open to sexual relationship without any actual string.

[iceEverestere]

#AwesomeTAKE
I agree 100%.
Its ridiculous to think that its a biological trait. I personally believe that 95% of our traits are a social construct, not biological at all. Humans are mostly derived by the mind and mind is derived by the culture and society we exist in.

The example you gave is quite close to truth as well.
Yes, In India (I am Indian) or any other male dominated society, chasing women and sext and practically being a "PERVERT" is encouraged to the level of being the normal male. Its sick.
I dont chase any women, sext, talk about porn and DAMN I dont even fall in love easy. etc... Guess what?
----> I am the weird one out in the gang.

I didn't let the culture decide my personality and behaviour and I am the odd one out.
India sucks at raising a healthy mindset.

ANYWAY, it was nice take.
#HaveANiceDay

[Being_a_good_Indian]

Awesome Response Dude.

I am the weird one out in the gang.

Don't forget that You are Indian in race of becoming one out of the Gang.

#JaiHind

[myTake Owner]

I'm glad that you agree.

[iceEverestere]

@Being_a_good_Indian
Thanks for the cheer bro 😊😊😊
#JaiHind

[Being_a_good_Indian]

Jai Hind. 😊🇮🇳

desipsycho.files.wordpress.com/2012/12/1740.jpg

[lucsampaio]

From my understanding of western culture, we're all about men chasing women. From advertising displaying the powerful well dressed black suit man with a huge watch and gigantic car getting taking a pretty/skinny/sexy model out to a club to how sexualized a girl can be (yes, talking about Stranger Things' Eleven actress whose name I forgot) to get ratings up. Rape culture and sexism are not only very real but also extremely harmful to women of all ages exactlly because they paint a huge target on them saying "I should be fucked", and even if the man goes through "proper couurtship" the whole courting is still remnant of the habit of trading women as breeders for either wealth or political gain.,

also consider the revenue of the porn industry in the west, and how much porn-like watered down content is showcased in regular media.

[hellionthesagereborn]

No its biology. Women avoid risk, men take risk this has been well documented. Men have higher sex drives then women, this also compels men to go after women. Then you have the fact that their is no society (to my knowledge historically or currently) where women are the persuers and men are the chased. That doesn't mean their isn't some deviation but instinctively this is the trend. As for what your suggesting, not only is that anecdotal evidence but how can you even prove that it proves your point? How do you know that its not culture causing men to repress their natural instinct instead of being driven by it?

[Anonymous]

This is BS. Its nature for men to wanna "fuck women" in order for the human species to live on. Society doesn't tell men to flirt or seek women, biology does. Its odd you based this on the behavior of your one male friend. FYI, because a guy doesn't say verbally he is interested in a woman or want to fuck her... it doesn't mean he's not thinking about it.

The eg you use of a kid with a dad who only focuses on life and isn't romantic is all BS. My dad died when I was 3 and I was raised in a house with 3 women, and guess what... I'm a flirt and a bit of a ladies man.

[AdamThomas]

I've always though that it's important for a man to be able to approach women. When I was a kid I was extremely shy especially around women, so it was something I had to work on.

However looking back, while I do think it did me a lot of good in building confidence with women and learning how to talk to them, he ones I ended up with were the ones who chased me.

I'm a natural introvert which is different from being shy - shyness being a fear of social interaction, and introversion being a natural tendency to be more quiet, more of a listener.

It never has been in my nature to be super sociable. So in situations where I was more quiet I was acting more like myself. I suppose that came across as more genuine, and also I suppose it seems less try hard. I probably seemed a little aloof. My girlfriend says that what drew her to me was actually the fact that I kept my cards close to my chest and it made her want to find out more - many girls seem to like a "mysterious" guy I guess.

[Anon-ymous1]

Per one of your other comments, OP-- boys aren't "pigs" for wanting to get with pretty girls. That's an idiotic thing for your to say. It's very natural and normal.
Secondly, technically everything is a social construct, including the words I'm typing right now. The language you use, the clothes you wear, the ways YOU feel are also social constructs. Saying something is erroneous because it's a "social construct" is completely pointless; using silverware to eat is also a social construct. Are you going to stop?

[Anpu23]

The desire to mate is not a social construct. How one goes about it, the strategies involved are. Most people seek a mate of some sort, and they adapt how they go about it depending on a number of factors, including what has worked for them in the past, and what has worked for their acquaintances. Also input from family especially ones of the opposite sex. This does not discount the desire, or urge to mate.

[Political_dude]

In India/any country outside the western world, culture men are usually taught to run after women and sext

Can you prove that? What's your source for this? I'm Indian and nobody taught me to chase random woman and I don't. I'm single and I'm happy with it.

[Being_a_good_Indian]

Agree.

[DeeperMeaning]

Isn't everything a social construct? Social constructs are just how we understand and process the world. A chair is a social construct, doesn't stop it from being a chair.

[myTake Owner]

I was trying to express and prove that not all men are pigs and seek for girls all the time.

[DeeperMeaning]

Well yes of course, but there is a biological drive for men to spread their seed. For some it's not that serious, for others they're a bit animalistic. As with anything it always depends on the individual and what their values are.

[ChaseLonnergan]

It's basic evolutionary biology. Women are the sexual selectors because they carry the greatest physical risk and biologically the greatest responsibility. Men seek women to mate with and women choose the best partner. This is true across millions of species.

[ManOnFire]

I would sort of agree with this. I still do think by nature that men are the pursuers and do like to initiate flirting and dating. I do. But I do think cultural influence still plays a part in it like you said, yeah. In the United States we are much more sexual and aggressively pursuing here for sure.

[HamAndCheese]

The evidence you listed seems to be anecdotal. From a biological standpoint, and a historical standpoint, men are significantly more geared towards being go-getters as the effects of testosterone include increased risk taking and aggressive behavior.

[Jayson101]

*sigh* I've said it before and I'll say it again. Just because something is a social construct does not mean that it is not real. Only crazy academics think that 'social construct = false'.

In fact, if a practice is a social construct that suggests that it is legitimate and MORE real, because it proves that enough people adhere to a certain practice and believe that it works

[Anonymous]

So called "social constructs" don't exist for no reason. They are a function of human nature.

It is unfortunate that it has become fashionable in recent years to try to dismiss the realities of human nature as "social constructs" because it does a disservice to people who care to understand why people behave the way they do.

It is almost always people who have a social agenda who try to push such nonsense.

[Westy616]

Men aren't anymore desperate than women... just show their interest more openly as they are almost required to in western culture.

Many men don't flirt that much even if they are interested... it's a humbleness thing...