Rape Culture In America

[Anonymous]

What Is Rape Culture?

Rape culture is a sociological concept used to describe a setting in which rape is pervasive and normalized due to societal attitudes about gender and sexuality.

Rape Culture In Schools

Consent

I have been in countless sex ed. classes, and if you're over the age of ten you probably have too. On the screen, they put up pictures of penises and vaginas, we get to see a woman giving birth, we learned about STD's, why it's important to use condoms and birth control, but not once was I ever taught about consent, and even though it is a very obvious lesson some people are still not getting it. From a young age children are taught to be nice and say sorry when appropriate, which is perfect. However, a lot of parents and teachers stop there. They shy away from the topic of sex. As a result, we learn are private parts are dirty, some parents will even go as far as to make up a 'cutesy" name for a penis or vagina because they see it as a dirty word. This behavior is detrimental. Are private parts are just as much a part of our body, used for normal things, as a hand or a foot is. When we are taught that our bodies are dirty how does anyone expect us to use them in a clean and wholesome

way.

This is where education is so important to our society, and you would think that for at least ten minutes of one of those sex ed. classes they would talk about consent. That they would tell us "no means no", at least once. If they wanted to go a step farther they could also teach that the best way to make sure there is no miscommunication is by asking "Is this okay?" or "are you sure?"

These lessons would take away the excuse "she wanted it."

I DO NOT CARE IF SHE ISN'T KICKING OR SCREAMING. iF SHE SAID NO ONCE AND YOU DIDN'T STOP IMMEDIATELY, IT'S RAPE.

Dress Codes

This one I'm sure you have all heard plenty about so I'll keep it short. It's as simple as this, instead of teaching girls to be ashamed of their bodies, teach boys to not see it as a sexual object.

Colleges

One of the places where rape is most prominent is on college campuses. In colleges, 11.2% of students experience rape or sexual assault. 50% of these students do not report the crime, and not even a third found guilty of rape are kicked out of school, most are just suspended. In fact, the Association for Student Conduct Administration tells universities across the nation to not be punitive while dealing with rape.

This behavior teaches men that it's okay to sexually assault women because there is no punishment to show them otherwise.

Men Can be Victims of Rape Culture Too

1 in 6 males have been victims of sexual assault or rape. They fall prey to both women and men. Women will often use coercion or threats. 30% of gay and bi males have experienced at least one incident of assault. And the situation becomes more humiliating and unbearable when people joke or call them "lucky".

More Facts About Rape Culture

-Many times women are asked about their part (such as what they were wearing or doing) instead of the rapist being punished

- 1 in 5 women have experienced rape or attempted rape

- 1 in 6 males have been abused before turning 18

- 97% of rapist have never spent a single day in jail

- in 31 states rapist can legally sue for custody

Many of you may not believe in rape culture. In my opinion, if there is a single judge, an official figure that was allowed to turn to a female victim and ask what she was wearing or what she was doing alone, and that judge is not disciplined or critiqued for it, then it's enough proof for me.

[Maik567]

There does not exist a rape culture in America, you're fucking ridiculous. I'd like for you to find me a single mentally healthy person who doesn't know that rape is wrong.

Of course I was taught that rape is wrong in the same manner I was taught murder, stealing and assault are wrong. And I can say the same thing about pretty much everyone I know.

I agree that dress codes are outdated, but if you think that dress codes exist to stop guys from getting aroused or something then you're an idiot. The idea of dress codes is to prepare you for your future career, since in many careers you have to wear specific work related clothing as you are representing the company you're working for.

Also you can't call your claims "facts" when you present no proof or sources to back them up.

Rape is most definitely a huge issue, but to call the American society a rape culture and misinterpret things like you do, does a huge disservice to your point.

Renewing sexual assault laws is imperative as well as encouraging people to actually report their rapists and having a support system for them. But so is pre-emptive protection even tho you seem to have a problem with that for some reason. Of course it's never the victims fault that the rapist decided to assault them, but if there are ways to alleviate the risk of this happening to you then why would you not want to learn them? You have this beautiful idea in your head that telling rapists not to rape would somehow solve the issue, but by that logic we could just tell all criminals not to commit crime. It's not realistic in the slightest so it's good to teach people how to protect themselves and not put themselves into dangerous situations.

[jacquesvol]

Rapists Who Don't Think They're Rapists: www.newsweek.com/campus-rapists-and-semantics-297463

[Maik567]

@jacquesvol The 1 in 5 myth has been debunked time and time again.
However I am surprised that allegedly 32% of guys would have intentions to force a woman if there were no consequences. I think the fact that less than half of that would admit to have "intentions to rape a woman" shows that the first question was probably pretty misleading. Either way 13% is still a huge number, unless these surveys were actually about fantasies and not what they would do in real life.

[Maik567]

@jacquesvol I did a little bit of research and the study your article refers to could be pretty misleading just as I thought.

They basically used questions that in some situations could be rape and in some situations not, but counted all answers to count as rape. One of the questions was basically "have you ever held someone down in the hopes of getting sex" Obviously in most situations that would definitely count as sexual assault, but what if your girlfriend happened to be into that and pushing her against the wall for example was just a normal part of your foreplay?

So when you ask enough of questions like that you're bound to get a significant amount of the population to agree at least to one question (in this case it was 32%) And then they just generalized all of those answers as saying that these men wanted to rape women.

[jacquesvol]

@Maik67 That were those guys' answers to polls about forcing a girl. (not about raping a girl)

[Anonymous]

I don't believe in rape culture. The 1 in 5 stat is BS. It was a flawed study where they asked questions like" have you ever had sex while drunk?" And if you answered yes, it was counted as rape. Also unwanted advances which could just be a guy asking you out was also consider rape. So does rape happen. HELL YES. Is it as often as we believe... nope. But with broadening of the definition of rape you make think so.
In life personal safety is your responsibility. So learning to protect yourself isn't wrong. You can't teach people not to rape, the same way you can't teach people not to steal, lie, kill etc...

[fanggirl5]

Source for your claims please

[Nachowedgie]

@fanggirl5 A REAL, FACTUAL and BELIEVABLE source for yours please :3

[fanggirl5]

@Nachowedgie That's not what I asked. You're the one claiming the statistics are false, you provide your sources. Or is deflection apart of your argument because you know saying 'that's lies' can't be backed up. Typical

[Nachowedgie]

@fanggirl5 Where above do you see any such post or remark of mine? you don't. So again provide your sources or else stop spreading misinformation.

[Opinion Owner]

@fanggirl5 Here it is. sorry I've not been on this site regularly to have posted it sooner.
www.washingtonexaminer.com/.../2551980

[Quintessence]

I understand the point that you're getting at here. You believe that by emphasizing the importance of consent, de-sexualizing women's bodies by abolishing dress codes, and stressing the idea that dressing and behaving provocatively are not justifications for rape, this will indirectly reduce rape by removing potential rapists' excuses for committing rape. Making them 'think twice' kind of deal.
And hypothetically, this should work.
Here's the thing, though: rapists don't think twice.

Like murderers who've consciously set out to commit murder, the majority of rapists are probably well aware that "no" (and anything other yes) means "no". In the same way that most murderers are aware that their victim doesn't want to die, I don't think that rape results from confusion, from the rapist being uncertain about whether the victim wanted it or not, and deciding to take a gamble and go with "yes".
They know it's "no", and they do it anyway.

"Teaching boys not to see women's bodies as sex objects" and telling them that dressing/acting a certain way isn't an invitation for sex should work in THEORY, but in reality, it's just preaching to the choir. Men who view women as sex objects are going to view them this way regardless of how much you de-normalize the idea that it's acceptable to view women's bodies as objects. This is similar to how a murderer is going to keep viewing potential victims as victims regardless of how much you advocate the idea that killing someone for having a certain trait or engaging in a certain behaviour is wrong. It might strip their excuse for committing the crime, but it won't STOP them from committing the crime.
I'm sure that most robbers know that an unlocked door does not mean that the home-owner allows them to take items from the house. And what's more, they know that they won't be able to use the unlocked door as an excuse in court. But guess what? They'll steal anyway. Why would the case for rapists be any different?

[myTake Owner]

My point isn't to make rapist stop. It's to punish them. I know rape will happen no matter what because people are messed up. I just want these rapists to be put in jail. The part about teaching them is important because it takes away their flimsy excuses. And people keep saying this stuff about murderers and honestly if there was no punishment for murder most of us might killed someone by now. Rapists aren't scared of getting punished because as long as their rich or white they get off clean.

[Quintessence]

I agree that firmer punishment is needed, but educating the rapists on right versus wrong won't accomplish that. The people in need of this education are the legal decision-makers, such as judges, lawyers, parole board members, forensic risk evaluators, etc. They're the ones that will remove the validity of these flimsy excuses. Preaching to the general public accomplishes little, because normal non-rapist people do not believe in these excuses in the first place. Preaching to the rapists accomplishes next to nothing, because they know these excuses aren't valid excuses, and they'll rape with or without them. But even as the most heinous of serial killers have some justification for their crimes, so too do rapists.

[Quintessence]

My point: it's not the collective societal mindset or that of the rapist that needs to be targeted here. It's a specific segment of society--the legal system--that's in need of change.

[fanggirl5]

It's not to stop rape, it's to stop the blame being deflected back on the victim. 'what was she wearing, drinking, was she alone' are all irrelevant and make many woman fear coming forward for the backlash they can get from being alone or wearing a short dress. After being raped and being violated a victim shouldn't have to go through strangers commenting on their actions. We need to get rid of the idea that girls need to dress a certain way to avoid rape because that is not healthy. I'm all for dress codes, we have them everywhere and especially at work, but that's to look professional and men and woman both have dress codes. However sending a girl home from school because you can see a bra strap is pushing it. You can't see her boobs! What message is that sending? It just sends the message that somehow the woman was responsible for what happened to her when like you said rapists rape and are not discriminatory to only woman wearing short or low cut dresses

[ManOnFire]

This is all fine, but I'm more concerned about the situations of women in countries like India, the Middle East, and Asia where rape is taken even far less seriously than it is in America. Women in India are raped much more than in America, and often for - I hate to say it cuz it's so overused - 'patriarchal' reasons.

Also we still have the problem of women in the U. S. lying about rapes, especially if the guy she slept with was wealthy or African-American. This should be combatted as well.

[Nyx_85]

They talked about consent when I went to school. However they made it more to be something that the guy had to obtain. What about mutual consent? Or do we just assume that most guys want sex all the time because they are a bunch of horndogs? Obviously not.

The thing that I just don't agree with is this concept of the responsibility being put on one person (most often the guy). But what about the responsibility of the other person to communicate what they want? Or what they don't want.
We have this issue in our society where we tell girls (and women) to 'own their sexuality' as in "Be sexual if you want! It's not the 1800's!" however we often still shame each other and ourselves for being sexual. For having desires. We still believe that "Good girls don't do that". We are given mixed messages. So in turn many girls are afraid to communicate and be fully active in the process. Because active means taking responsibility by communicating with our partner, not just waiting for him to ask us for our consent. But being responsible also means admitting to behavior that "good girls don't do" even if you were only entertaining the thought with any action. Maybe you do want to have sex, but not quite yet. It may even be subconscious to a certain point but I've heard of many girls/women being overly quiet and inactive during sex. Laying there like a "dead fish" so to speak. I believe it's often because they are afraid to communicate with their partner and own their sexuality. Owning your sexuality is more about having sex. It's about being able to communicate your thoughts, feelings and desires regarding our sexuality. And that includes being up front if you aren't ready yet.

Also if you've read up at all on the matter not every person says no. There is this psychological response that happens in people called "Fight, flight or freeze". Some people freeze. Especially those who have been victims of sexual assault and abuse earlier in their life. Some sexual assault survivors develop PSTD. Sometimes the abuse happened when they were young and they even blocked it out but the mental effects are still there. Some people are just naturally more prone to freezing. This is why it's so important to not only teach about getting consent but about being honest with our partners is we have any reservations. I believe there is definitely an amount of rape cases that are a result of miscommunication.

[Nyx_85]

Also there are rape cases that were not a result of miscommunication however the person still froze and didn't say no or stop.

[MlleCake]

Ok, so here's how it works now. If the person didn't say yes and you proceed anyway, that's assault or rape. Makes it really simple. If you get an enthusiastic, sober "yes", then that's your green light. Hard to miscommunicate if you ask straight questions and wait for an uncoerced, unthreatened "yes" from a person who is sober enough to give legal consent. This goes a long way to helping people avoid false accusations.

[Nyx_85]

@MlleCake And what about girls that say yes because they think that's how you get a guy to like them? Plenty of naive girls have sex before they are ready because they are not up front and honest about their feelings.

[Nyx_85]

@MlleCake We need to teach communication and responsibility on both sides.

And while that could prevent some false accusations it certainly would not stop them. Many false accusations are NOT filed by the 'victim' but often a parent. Then you have a percentage that are mentally ill. Then there's the ones that lie to cover up something like cheating.

[MlleCake]

Yes, and false accusations account for about 2-8%.

We need not only to teach communication, but make sure we also teach how to create a safe-space for honest communication, so that people who need to say no feel like they can without the threat of harm.

[hellionthesagereborn]

Nope. First and foremost you where almost certainly taught consent, the whole No means NO bullshit and what not even though we don't need to teach consent because surprise every one already knows forcing some one into sex is wrong. It really ironic how often women force this shit down peoples throats that their is a rape epidemic when in fact the likely hood of you being raped is so infinitesimally small chance of being raped, statistically you have a 99.95% chance of not being raped each year. In other words its negligible. In fact they found that the whole 1 in 5(which was always known to be bullshit) is so inaccurate that women on school campuses are actually less likely to be raped then women who are not on university campuses. As for consent, why is it that women are not taught consent as according to the CDC/NCVS men are raped by women at comparable rates. Or the fact that statistically it seems women are significantly more likely to rape children when in positions of power? Further more this idea that their is a rape culture is just laughable because if a woman accuses a man of rape she is immediately believed and still believed even when she is proven to be lying as the duke lacross case and the UV rape case where even the media after doxing the men who turned out to be completely innocent continued to demand that we believe the girl despite the fact that everything, and I do mean everything, she said was provably false. Or how we live in a society that normalizes rape of women even though rapist are universally despised, so much so that even in prison they are ostricised and beaten by the inmates. If criminals do not tolerate rapist its fairly safe to say that the rest of society (who always sides with the woman) also hate rapist. This is just fucking stupid. No data, no law, no social norms, no anecdotal evidence backs these claims, at least as they pertain to women (for men all you have to do is look at amy schumer to see we don't give a flying fuck when men are raped, or the fact that we don't even generally consider a woman raping a man as actually rape) are completely and totally false to the point where to say they are laughable wouldn't even begin to come close to describing how inaccurate and intentionally inaccurate these statements are. Its actually really pathetic.
thefederalist.com/.../
articles.baltimoresun.com/.../bs-ed-rape-statistics-20140928_1_22-percent-13-percent-30-percent
www.usatoday.com/.../

[jpmoore89]

There is no such thing as "rape culture." That said, are there people out there who are total asses and commit rape? Sure there are! It would be a blind and misinformed thought to think that evil doesn't exist. The problem I have now days is so many people claiming victim-hood about something because society will gift them attention and special favors. Its a similar mindset to the whole "white male privilege" BS!

The real problem here is how so many people are falsely accused now days and their lives are destroyed. Even if they are not convicted, the false victim walks free to falsely accuse someone else while the real victim is rejected by society for employment simply because they were "alleged" to have touched someone else or were having sex and all of the sudden the other person decided they didn't want to do it. What you are doing is a disservice to real victims of rape and other brutal abuse by making everyone out to potentially be a rapist with the "rape culture" BS. If everyone is a potential rapist, how then do you identify the truly bad guys?

Lastly, the other problem created with this whole mindset is that many people now days no longer want a real in person relationship with a real physical person. Especially many men I know of. With the increasing idea that they may be accused for even being alone with a woman and no witnesses, there is no way in hell they will ask women out or even be around them. I know some guys who would rather be forever alone because they saw their best friend get his life destroyed from a false accusation. I see many women get upset because no guy ever wants to do anything but hang out in a group or online. Well this is a major reason. I truly feel bad for the many good women who would never accuse someone of something they would never do and yet the guys can't trust who's who because the liability has become too high to take even a little risk to go on a date. You are doing a disservice to the many women out there who are good. Pretty sad state of affairs, literally.

[Anonymous]

"- 1 in 5 women have experienced rape or attempted rape
- 1 in 6 males have been abused before turning 18"

Despite these numbers, men are complaining much less than women are. Why is that? If this is factual statistics than it is evident that males are actually victimized much more than women are, because rape (or attempted rape) is just one specific type of abuse that men also experience PLUS much more whereas women mostly just have to worry about sexual harassment. After all, 80% of suicide victims are male and homicide statistics are also close to 80% being male victims. If there is any sort of culture, it's more of a culture of violence where everybody is targeted.

As for questioning women, authorities need as many details as they can get to figure out motive, the truth, etc. Plenty of women have been guilty of lying about men raping or abusing them, so I'd rather the police get the facts before an innocent man is imprisoned like they've been in the past, because despite what you might say, nobody in America is genuinely accepting of rape, therefore not a rape culture. What you're wanting is for men to immediately be punished as soon as a woman accuses him of raping her. This is how it has been and this is why some women create the fictitious story, because they think they can get away with it. So it's about time people are treating it differently. The justice system and society in general is already "innocent until proven guilty" for women and "guilty until proven innocent" for men. But I'm sure you're too busy complaining about insignificant issues like school dress codes which don't even matter once you've graduated.

I guarantee you won't complain about dress codes at work when you also need to look professional and can't dress up in a tight latex underbust corset that shows your cleavage. If you don't want to deal with dress code, become a prostitute or an escort, because there's a dress code for everything else. I'm sorry you can't run around naked or in lingerie at work or school or in public, but neither can guys.

[sawno]

"That they would tell us "no means no", at least once. If they wanted to go a step farther they could also teach that the best way to make sure there is no miscommunication is by asking "Is this okay?" or "are you sure?""
Partially agree, the latter is not in favor of women because there are plenty of women out there who sexually enjoy more aggressive men and like men to take the lead once given consent and they would rather have them have there way with them then ask if it is ok to do every single step. Imagine having a planned a wild night with your boyfriend that goes like this. "Is it ok if i can undress you?" "Is it ok if my hand touches your skin?" "Is it ok if my hand touches your breast?" "Is it ok if my hand touches your vagina?" "Is it ok if i give you a kiss in the neck?" "Is it ok if i penetrate you?" "Is it ok if i hold you?" "Is it ok if i pin you against the wall?" "Is it ok if i go faster?" "Is it ok to choke you?" etc etc. The right way and only right way that should ever exist in my opinion is that you back off if she expresses disconsent and don't automatically start inflicing sexually acts if sexual consent can not be assumed. Its pretty safe to assume a girl's consent still counts in cases like a friends with benefits, sexual relationship, bdsm, etc. And in those scenario's its up to the girl to express disconsent. No doesn't always mean no, no can mean yes and in cases no can mean yes a proper safe word that always means NO should be agree'd upon.

". As a result, we learn are private parts are dirty, some parents will even go as far as to make up a 'cutesy" name for a penis or vagina because they see it as a dirty word." i agree, its much better to just be open about it. I personally did have consent thought to me trough education even though before that i would have assumed something pretty much the same.

"It's as simple as this, instead of teaching girls to be ashamed of their bodies, teach boys to not see it as a sexual object." or you can just teach women not to care so much when a guy comments about your body. Its not a rape threat its a flirty compliment.

"In colleges, 11.2% of students experience rape or sexual assault. 50% of these students do not report the crime, and not even a third found guilty of rape are kicked out of school, most are just suspended." i swear i heard these statistics are bogus because they included stuff like unwanted flirting, if only i could remember the source (Same applies to the other facts).

[Anonymous]

Rape culture don't real.

"teaching girls to be ashamed of their bodies, teach boys to not see it as a sexual object"
People aren't teaching girls to be ashamed of their bodies and boys don't see girls as sexual objects. Job done.

Talk to virtually any teenage boy and he'll tell you teen girls are sexually attractive. So this idea that *you* are the problem if you're sexualising girls is nonsensical. I sure hope you never crushed on a boy while you were in high-school, or else you're a rapey girl - apparently.

Forgive me for not trusting your numbers...

How do you record that these rapes happened if they're not reported?
I don't suppose you have sources for 11.2% and In what time-frame does this occur?

If they were found guilty of rape then they'd be in jail so I'm going to call bullshit on that. Maybe they suffered no consequences because they did nothing wrong!

And it wouldn't teach them shit because that's not how people learn these things... again, if it were even real.

Can't help but notice you didn't provide numbers for who is victimizing men. If you want to talk about how rape culture affects men then we can look at things like a recent petition being rejected in the UK to make the definition of rape able to include women as perpetrators of rape. In the US it wasn't until only 4 years ago that they added 'made to penetrate' into their definitions and still when they release there rape statistics they don't count it as rape even though the numbers for made to penetrate were basically the same as the 'real rape' numbers. If you define stealing as something that can only be done to women is it any wonder that people might say we live in a theft culture where people think it's okay to steal from women... because only women are being stolen from after all.

"97% of rapist have never spent a single day in jail"
Awful hard to know that.

"what she was wearing or what she was doing alone"
It's okay to ask for context. It's proof of nothing.

You'd ask a guy what he was doing out at night alone when he was assaulted in black concealing clothing, turns out he was looking to mug someone and got more than the bargained for. There's no harm in at least exploring a line of questioning. Asking a woman what she was doing or wearing is *not* placing responsibility on her. *You* are assuming that based on *your own interpretation* that it's implied. Again, proof of nothing. It's not the question that you have a problem with, it's the implication that you see.

[Kuraj]

"In my opinion, if there is a single judge, an official figure that was allowed to turn to a female victim and ask what she was wearing or what she was doing alone, and that judge is not disciplined or critiqued for it, then it's enough proof for me. "

Cross examination and the right to defend yourself by challenging the trustworthiness of the witness is one of the constitutional rights.
I'm sorry that your privileged ass feels hurt by one of the quintessential pillars of the criminal law.

The only thing the low conviction rates reflect is the tricky nature of procuring worthwhile evidence in rape cases.
In reality, rape is one of the most harshly punished crimes in the relation to its severity.
Rape cases carry an incredible bias, it is one of the only crimes you can get found guilty of on witness testimony alone and it is one of the only crimes that often prevents the trustworthiness of said testimony to be confronted (rape shield laws) in direct violation of the constitution. (6th amendment)

If there is any "culture" or normalization going on, it is the normalization of calling everything rape and of accusing everyone of it because they have looked at someone the "wrong way".

[Kuraj]

Some US states further resort to punishment for rape crimes that are a violation of the 8th amendment (cruel and unusual punishment) as well of the universal human rights.

If you think that is "rape culture" the best I can say to that is, "delusional".
It is hard to think of ways to "de-normalize" rape culture in America without the system becoming full-on fascist.

[freakyzeaky]

Also, to add to some of the other commenters here, there is this huge double standard around the drinking habits of both men and women.

Imagine a scenario where a woman goes out with her friends, she ends up getting plastered at a party, she comes on to that drunk geeky guy who has been eying her up all night, they make out, she ends up having unprotected sex with the guy in a spare bedroom. She wakes up, can't remember the night before, but her vagina is sore, and she assumes she was raped by the guy who is laying next to her because she has regrets about it. No way would she come on to that creep! No way should be responsible for her own poor judgment! Oh no! It is all his fault because he is the guy and guys are the ones who take advantage.

I'm guessing this situation alone skews statistics even further.

Victim blaming isn't okay, I agree. Short skirts, walking through a dangerous neighborhood, being sex-positive, isn't an open invitation to rape someone. However, a woman does have some self-agency when it comes to her sexuality and having regrets about irresponsible behavior does not automatically confer rape. In the drunk situation, depending on how it went down, both parties are acting irresponsible and both need to own their mistakes.

In the drunk case, both parties are not in their right minds to consent or to practice self-control.

[Goodwifie]

What if a woman is passed out drunk should he just keep going?

[freakyzeaky]

@Goodwifie no of course not, but then again, when both people are smashed drunk, judgement goes out the window. Both are in the wrong. Like I said before, it depends on the circumstances. If the guy forces himself on her while she is already passed out, then he would be solely to blame. If she told him NO then it is rape. But if both people took "concented" even though they were drunk, then would they not hold some responsibility? And even if BOTH of them couldn't remember, and whether or not BOTH were instigating the sexual encounter, it is kind of difficult to pinpoint exactly who took advantage of who.

It is a sticky situation that happens all too often in the partying culture on college campuses in the US.

[freakyzeaky]

It becomes all too easy to have regrets at that point and cry "rape" because the woman can blame alcohol and the guy who she willingly (at the time) had sex with. Let us not forget, the guy also was take advange of... it is just socially accepted that guys always want sex and men are ticking time bombs just waiting for an excuse to lose control.

[Goodwifie]

It happened to me.
I stayed friends with an ex and invited him out for my 19th birthday.
He told my friends that he'll be giving me a lift home so he was not drunk and I was.
I remember waking up with him on top of me and I tried so hard to push him off but he kept on going and then I passed out again.
If he needed clarification on whether or not I wanted to have sex with him this would've given him the answer.

[freakyzeaky]

@Goodwifie yeah, in your case it is clear he was taking advantage without your consent. That isn't the situation I was pointing out.

When alcohol is involved though, the situation from an outsiders point of view isn't always so clear.

In a college party case, how do we know for sure she didn't come on to him first with him being just as blackout smashed drunk?

This brings to mind the movie Knocked Up. I am sure a fair bit of women who have flings in college were trashed when they made some of their "mistakes". That doesn't confer rape though.

[freakyzeaky]

Watch the movie Happy Death Day that was just released in theaters. Some women put themselves at huge risk for these sort of "mistakes" and men set themselves up for a possible rape charge.

[elevenoneoneblog]

@Goodwifie Should she? That's exactly what Lena Dunham did to her rape victim.

[Goodwifie]

@elevenoneoneblog so what stop yes, not even start in the first place definitely.

[elevenoneoneblog]

@Goodwifie What if he is passed out drunk and has a hard on, should she keep going.

[LogicBomber]

Oh the good ol' 1 in 5 or 4 or 3 stat. This nonsense has been debunked over and over time and time again.

The actual statistics from the bureau of justice statistics (the gold star in crime stats and NOT a feminist fabricated farce) shows that sexual assault is less than 1 in 1000. (INCLUDING an estimate for the fabricated "90%" that don't come forward. BUT NOT removing the claims that turn out to be false.)
https://i.imgur.com/a1JW7Cs.jpg

Rape culture is about as real as "micro aggression" and the lochness monster.
https://www.bjs.gov/content/pub/pdf/cv14.pdf

Asking what a female was wearing is no different than asking a car break in victim if the doors were locked.

https://i.imgur.com/PI2hh6d.jpg

The campus rape narrative is one of the most asinine claims.
I work at a major University and this feminist garbage is constantly pushed... but simple campus crime statistics prove it is bullshit.
if 1/4 women were being attacked on a campus yearly... parents would NOT send their daughters to that school!

[LogicBomber]

If you really want to see rape culture in schools, start counting the number of female teachers who rape underage males.

[NineBreaker]

Teaching people (men and women) not to be rapists should be part of teaching them not to be criminals: Don't cheat, don't steal, don't murder, and of course, don't rape. It's not complicated. I agree that education is key.

Second of all, teaching rapists not to rape is like trying to teach a murderer not to murder, or a thief not to steal. Yes, you can try and you may win some of them over from the dark side, but you cannot completely extinguish evil from this world. You still have to take precautions to protect yourself.

Teaching people not to rape should not prohibit teaching people to take all possible precautions to avoid being victims of a crime. I'm not just talking about rape. I'm talking about crime in general.

For example:
- Don't give your bank account and social security number to a random guy on the internet who wants to wire $10,000 to your account for safe-keeping.
- Don't forget to lock your door and windows when you leave the house.
- Carry pepper spray with you in case someone wants to assault you.
- Always wear a seat belt when you're in a car, and a helmet when you're biking. It's the law, and it's for your safety.

Rape culture does exist. It is a serious problem, not just in the US. Other countries have a similar, if not much bigger problem. However, only focusing on educating potential rapists, and neglecting teaching people to avoid becoming victims of rape is irresponsible.

When my dad was teaching me how to drive many years ago, he said to me: "Son, part of being a safe driver is to take necessary precautions because most motorists around you are bad drivers, who may be drunk while driving, or are just reckless. You can't change their behavior, but you can take precautions that will help protect your life on the road (i. e. wearing a seat belt, driving at or below the speed limit, generally being a defensive driver... etc.)."

[Barrabus_the_Free]

It's more leftard bullshit.

You want to throw out bullshit 'statistics', here are a couple REAL numbers.

In ZERO states will a woman who falsely accused a man face any kind of punishment, no matter what effect her accusation had on his life. He lost his job? Oh, too bad. Spent decades in prison? Oh, too bad. Got murdered by white knights? Oh, too bad.

In all 50 states, an accusation is all it takes to destroy a man's life.

In all 50 states, an accusation with NO PROOF is enough to land a man in criminal court, facing decades of imprisonment.

Because "women would never lie about rape". Except they do, constantly. The vast majority of the time they bring it up, they're lying. They're either looking for attention/sympathy, or they're looking to fuck a man over and ruin his life because reasons.

When women start being given the same sentence for false accusations that men get for false convictions, then MAYBE I'll give a fuck or two about "women's issues". Probably not, though, cuz bitches done burned that particular bridge.

[Sara413]

Filing a false police report is a crime in all 50 states.

Defamation and libel are pitiable offenses.

Most men who are accused of sexual misconduct do not ever see the inside of a jail cell. Very few ever even end up in court.

But please, do go on...

[Sara413]

*litigable not pitiable.

[Barrabus_the_Free]

@Sara413

Lol... the punishment for filing a false report is NOTHING, especially when compared to the damage it does to the accused. And good luck with a libel or slander case. That simply isn't going to be winnable.

A false accusation isn't merely slander or a false report. It's a form of terrorism, or harassment at the very least.

Women deserve every bad thing that happens to them. Between cunts that make false accusations, and creatures like you that spew bullshit and make things up, I have ZERO sympathy or even Give-A-Fuck when a woman is a victim of *any* kind of crime.

[elevenoneoneblog]

And when it is done, it is rarely charged. The two men in the NYU case, who were accused lost their scholarship jobs and everything, but the woman kept her job and got a very light sentence. dc rambler dot com.

[btbc92]

Dress codes aren't the problem. It's the people who want's what they want and then complain when something happens to them or god forbid another person. But we are responsible for what kind of message we are implying.

Rape happens because of many reasons:

1. That person wants sex badly
2. That person feel entitled to sex, but can't get it
3. A mental and psychological problem that is either hereditary or done in an abusive environment. Especially if porn in general, and even child pornography was involved.
4. Lust

Least reasons people rape:

1. Power and Control
2. The feel lonely, abandoned, mistreated

College campuses are not strict enough. They allow those of the opposite sex be in the same rooms of the opposite sex. They know what goes on in these dorms. And they don't enforce it. It worse by having free condoms readily available. Teaching people and telling people not to rape is pointless. People rape because they want to, and it's fair game because we condone premarital sex. They know it's a crime. But who can find out when sex is readily available too. Making it extremely hard to believe the individual. Also, if the rape victim also chooses not to do anything, it makes matters worse for them. They need to equally speak up. What matters is that they said something. And get the proper authorities involved when their voices aren't being heard.

[ATuairiscean]

Very good take - The first thing that struck me was your point about sex ed and it was fine for the mechanics but it almost skirted the grey areas of sexuality - To your point which is a very good one but there are words that just seem to act as triggers and can send any well meaning effort down the same rabbit hole of repeated unresolved conflict which result in zealous OTT reaction and even more zealous counter reaction thus never breaking the circle.
This unbroken circle keeps the grey area huge whereas if the middle area was examined and both sides can say yes we can agree that vast swathes of this questionable behaviour is not on so we can establish clear ground rules for then we are left with a smaller grey area that can be examined case by case by the relevant groups.
I am very much in your corner but trying to stay neutral enough to avoid accusations of implied bias as I have to say in fairness I have never really experienced an overt "Rape Culture" in Ireland in my lifetime that is not too say there has and possibly is still some archaic attitudes out there but it seems to be changing to a very pro victim culture so maybe society does catch up just not fast enough for you.

[jacquesvol]

Example of rape culture: www.tulsaworld.com/.../...3-ae9a-0f60a2681136.html
.
www.newser.com/.../...cused-of-raping-2-teens.html
.
lawnewz.com/.../
.
www.nbcnews.com/.../sexual-assault-reports-u-s-military-reach-record-high-pentagon-n753566
.
www1.cbn.com/.../how-to-recognize-abuse-and-why-women-dont-report-it

And, Yes, male on male rape happens too and the victims will be even more silent about it.

[jacquesvol]

www.washingtoncitypaper.com/.../rapists-who-dont-think-theyre-rapists

[Anonymous]

1) do we glorify rape? No, is rape considered acceptable? No, it's considered one of the worst crimes someone can commit and it can ruin your life even coming out of jail. Are false cries of rape taken very seriously and can result in the 'rapist' getting charged with little to no evidence against them (in this example they are 100% innocent)? Yes.

NONE OF THIS SHOWS ANYTHING TO DO WITH A RAPE CULTURE

2) ofc people know that 'no means no' the harassers obviously don't give a shit though, that's the point. Blaming it as if it's an epidemic of shit tons of men are apparently not taking no for an answer is sexist and ignorant

3) men do objectify more than women, that is somewhat biological though. Nothing wrong with seeing someone as sexual, everyone does it. Seeing someone as sexual is NOT a crime, harassing them is

4) per month? Per year? Per decade? At which colleges? How can you record unreported cases if they were not reported?

5) "Many times women are asked about their part (such as what they were wearing or doing) instead of the rapist being punished"

to get both sides of the story, they do this in any legal case. Plenty of people charged for rape have been put in prison, even if there was almost no evidence against them

"- 1 in 5 women have experienced rape or attempted rape
- 1 in 6 males have been abused before turning 18
- 97% of rapist have never spent a single day in jail"

according to?

"an official figure that was allowed to turn to a female victim and ask what she was wearing or what she was doing alone, and that judge is not disciplined or critiqued for it, then it's enough proof for me."

then that's ridiculous, you'd judge the rest of society over one dodgy/inexperienced person? That just makes no fucking sense

[Naydyonov]

I'm sorry, men or boys do not choose to sexualize Shoulders, It is biology.
If you think men choose to view shoulders as attractive then you must also be under the assumption that men choose to see breasts and butts as attractive.
The reason girls may be told to cover their shoulders is because boys are naturally attracted to girls. Do you think he will be able to concentrate is a naked girl is sitting in front of him? Not even girls would be able to.

I find this very strange as women spend lots of time trying to get men to find them attractive but also blame men for finding them attractive, so please, chose just one.

At the end it said it was posted in Toronto, well I live in Toronto and in our schools boys are also not allowed to show their shoulders as to not distract girls.

A rape culture is a culture in which rape is tolerated, you can unfortunately find examples of this in the Muslim world. www.independent.co.uk/.../...ingston-a7858381.html

But the fact that all laws punish rapists is ignored?
How about the fact that rapists are routinely beaten in prisons?
guyanatimesgy.com/.../

[Warmapplecrumble]

This thread makes me sad... I actually avoid reading questions like this. The whole day all I can think of is the vicious memories that haunt me...
but I had to comment.

I've gone through this several times. I don't really think anyone cares.. in fact the moment I reveal to someone about this their number 1. Thought is I am lying or 2. They never speak to me again in the same way.

... I don't think people understand. They haven't gone through the trauma... they don't understand the pain. They rather dismiss it and pretend that it never happened.

[fanggirl5]

I'm sorry that happened to you xx

[Blanquino]

@fanggirl5 You have all of my suppot xoxoxo <3 Stay strong! Thanks speaking up

[lucsampaio]

I'm sorry miss. really sorry. hope you can find support and help to overcome the trauma.

[10dsw]

There's no rape culture in America. Sorry. 1 in 4 girls at my university claim to have been raped. So are you telling me that 1 in 4 girls were forced into a van & hogtied by 4 dudes? Ask them about their rape: it will usually be more along the lines of: "well we had a few drinks and I was super horny..."