When i was in 7th grade. I had a crush on a girl. She was beautiful and had long black hair. Her nose was so cute and her ears were pared to perfection. Her eyes were round and big and i was absolutely in love with her. But i couldn't talk to her. I was shy, i was introverted but i didn't think i was ugly.
A few months passed and obviously i wanted to tell her so bad that i liked her. One day i finally mustered up the strength to go talk to her.
I went up to her and i said. "hi" and she was like "what"? And I said i just wanted to let you know that i think you're really pretty and i wanna take out. " and she said" you're ugly. Go away".
4 words. She replied with only 4 words and it changed the way i looked at myself. My self esteem hit rock bottom and i became highly insecure of my appearance. I absolutely loved this girl and she had broken me.
I wasn't able to talk to girls. I hated my face.
I dreaded the moment where in the morning i would get up and look in the mirror and my face would meet my face.
She said i was ugly. She gave me a label and i wore that label as my identity. It's how i defined myself.
It was three years until a girl came up to me and asked for my phone number. And she later told me i was really hot. And i was like really? And she said yes. And my self esteem rose. And i felt good. And we dated for like a year.
The thing is the label that i put on myself made me feel like a loser. What i learned is that people are always going to have something negative to say about you. They are going to put labels on you. You have to resist those labels to live a free life.
You're shy, you're introverted, you're short, you're skinny, you're dumb, you're ugly, you're annoying, you're pathetic. Who's giving you labels? Who are they? They are people that are saying things that they think you are and you take those things and you start defining yourself by those things.
You become captives of your own identity living in prisons on your own creation.
"The most powerful force in the human psych is the way we describe ourselves to ourselves ".
I am.. I am.. What are you? Gifted, beautiful, passionate, smart, sexy, sensual, powerful, strong. What are you and who do you wanna be?
The words that follow I am. Follow you.