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Being followed by a stranger for the first time (Page 2)
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It's the real world hun. I've been followed before but I've carried a gun for years. I'm a tall attractive young white girl, I'm not stupid, I know it's dangerous for me to be out at night. I'm not sure if there's a weapon that's legal in Germany, but you should try to protect yourself. The police will only show up to put your body in a bag, you can't rely on them.
Typical American. Pays taxes for a police force but decides the only real protection is a gun. Tell me, what will you do if you get shot?
Typical Euro. Thinks the police have magical powers to be at all places at all times. Also, judgmental, ignorant, and can't fathom that Americans live in wide open spaces that take anyone, even police, a long time to get somewhere. We're not all living on top of each other in shoebox homes in one heaving mass.
I'm not European, I'm actually Canadian. I love how you call ME ignorant xD "we're not all living on top of each other in shoebox homes in one heaving mass", you're the ignorant one. As for the argument of police not being able to be everywhere, that's true, police take time to get places, so what? Does this mean we should stop wasting tax dollars on police? Do you want to live in anarchy? (Real question)
by the way, learning to protect yourself is smart, but making it easy for criminals and people with mental illness to get guns is just stupid, plus the average citizen will not shoot to kill, making it rather pointless. You need to regulate guns to keep them away from criminals.
Canadian? Even worse! You're willing to just roll over and accept dying because you don't think people should be able to defend themselves with the same equipment the bad guys are using? 🤣 GO AHEAD! Nobody said to not have police. You're putting words into my mouth. That's called a "strawman argument" and is used by people when they know they have lost an argument and attempt to reshape it to something they might be able to win. We see right through you.
You think the average citizen won't shoot to kill? Maybe in weak Canada. Not here. Hun, the world is already awash in guns. Sticking your head in the sand and denying good people the ability to defects themselves is not the answer.
There are already laws to keep guns away from criminals 😂 And yet... They still use them 🤔 It's weird that the criminals don't follow the gun laws right? 🤣
@LingyRolls That wasn't a strawman, and to point out that it wasn't a strawman, I typed (real question), because I wanted to know your opinion, rather than assuming. You are correct about strawmans, but I never strawmanned you.
Roll over and accept dying? I never said that. www.sciencedirect.com/.../S0091743515001188 that is a study from harvard showing that self defense makes up less than 1% of incidents with guns, self defence, even in america makes up a tiny minority, average people are untrained and will not respond in a crisis situation. You are more likely to accidently shoot yourself than use a gun for self defence.
lawcenter.giffords.org/.../
"For every person killed in a gun homicide, six more are injured in a gun assault." "Access to a gun doubles the risk of homicide" "Unintentional shootings comprise 1.3% of gun deaths and 18% of gun injuries" "Gun violence is the second-leading cause of death among children overall and the first-leading cause of death among black children."
The average citizen won't shoot to kill, they won't even draw their gun because their mind goes into fight or flight, and if you're not trained for a gun fight, then you almost always go with flight. Canada isn't weak though, good job showing how you aren't ignorant. Canada has a lot of guns, we need to, because we have a lot of wildlife, I've seen bears and moose walking through town before. The thing is, is that you need a background check, training, and to be registered in order to own a gun. American regulations are a joke when it comes to gun control. Even people on your no fly lost can buy guns, Obama tried to change that but was blocked from doing so. How do your laws keep guns away from criminals?
Keep in mind that I've lived around guns since a young age, I've gone hunting, I know how to fire, clean, and maintain guns, I can even name different parts and different types of gun based on the action. Many American gun owners don't even know where the safety is.
I simply know the statistics, in a real crisis situation, average people will run and hide, not aim and shoot. Even when they do though, the study I linked shows that "self defense gun use does not reduce the risk of victim injury."
No fly list*
@devilman666 Good point you're making, thank you for that. I would also like to point out that Switzerland has one of the highest gun ownership rates in the world, yet one of the lowest homicide rates globally.
Now, I'd like @LingyRolls to pay close attention. Europeans are not ignorant. I am aware that some Americans live in wide open spaces and feel the need to protect themselves. But the majority of homicides doesn't happen in these wide open spaces.
Switzerland is a very small country but has not seen a mass shooting in 19 years.
www.businessinsider.de/.../?r=US&IR=T
Here are some Statistics that include Germany and Austria, two other Central European countries where I feel very safe overall. And yes, in Germany there are also wide and open spaces but due to cultural differences, gun ownership isn't nearly as high as it is in the US.
edition.cnn.com/.../index.html
This is a further article which quickly explains the Swiss Military system: bigthink.com/.../switzerland-high-gun-ownership
And finally, a Wikipedia article summarising everything, consider especially the last part "Firearm-related deaths":
en.wikipedia.org/.../Firearms_regulation_in_Switzerland
@devilman666 While Switzeland has a very strict mandatory military service (only for able-bodied men), Austria's is more lax with the alternative of serving an alternative servie (e. g. in a home for the elderly), and in Germany, there is no mandatory military service at all. After serving the military service in Switzerland, you are allowed to take home a semi-automatic weapon if you're a target shooter until the mandatory military period, in which you could still be called back into the Army, is over. This is information I received from a close friend of mine who worked for the Swiss Army, and is also mentioned in several German sources, for example this one, which analyses the relevance of this: www.zeit.de/.../seite-2
If you speak German, you may also like this article which summarises where young men in Europe are taught how they can handle guns (has graphs which are easy to understand without speaking German):
www.sueddeutsche.de/.../...opa-noch-gilt-1.4083048
I know that lots of guns does not mean lots of homicides. The thing is that you need gun owners registered, they need to pass tests showing they are capable and mentally stable. If any jackass can buy a gun then that means that gangs are buying guns legally, you basically can't do anything until a shooting happens. If they were registered then the police could intervene as soon as they had evidence that the suspect had unregistered firearms.
Proper gun regulation is extremely important, in a small area like sweden they can make gun regulation effective enough to allow for so many guns. In a larger country like Canada or usa its harder to make an effective national registry because of size and population. It makes sense that people who have served in the army should be allowed to own guns, since they've obviously passed firearm training, and they are trained to actually act in a crisis situation, so these are the people most likely to actually use the gun in defence. I don't mind countries having lots of guns, my country has lots of guns, I just think the USA needs betters regulations that keep guns out of the hands of criminals.
Judging by the fact that you stated you slowed down your speech to answer him (also be the use of heiß), I'm guessing he isn't a natural German speaker, thus not entirely accustomed to German culture. Many people don't realise the differences between their own dating culture and other countrie's, for example, it took me a while to get to know the dating culture in Korea, after, I might add, I struck out many times because I was trying to apply what I knew from the States.
I'm not negating your experience, or how you feel about it, but chances are the guy meant no harm.
On a side note, that video you posted is complete cringeworthy! I can't stand douchebags like that!
The first thing that I noticed about your story is,
This guy has only uttered to words "Excuse me"
And you have already judged him as a "Not very attractive" Caucasian man.
The actual problem here is he made the mistake of thinking that the woman he was talking to "You" actually has a personalty.
I've never met you, sure as hell don't need to.
You are impenionated and self-righteous. And as for your classmates they are either to scared to put you in your place or you just made it all up that they agreed with you.
You are 18 and immature, grow up
Fair enough, I'm not allowed to deem him as unattractive? That was after I turned around. When he said "Excuse me" I thought he wanted to give me something I had lost or ask me for directions.
I'm not trying to justify anything, of course I'm immature, but I'm not self-righteous - if I was, I wouldn't have written this take asking for help.
Men value youth and fertility therefore they are much likelier to pursue and date younger women. While I do not agree with PUA (pickup artists), I do think this to be oversensitive. If he hurt or tried to hurt you physically whether if you were a guy or a girl then he should be arrested, but there is zero fault for any man to approach a woman at all. Rejection is fine, it's part of life and people should learn to deal with it. But trying to censor people and taking their freedom of speech away is a terrible idea. Society is not going to provide a space for you or anyone. There are many shades of gray in terms of morality and they do not revolve around you. You will have to learn to deal with it, and when appropriate involve the law.
The sheer amount of men who feel entitled to intrude upon and harass strangers is frankly just astounding.
Just looking at the degeneracy here in the comments, I'm really not surprised that #metoo is a thing in the west.
I already mentioned that I do not support the side of me too that makes men feel like they are LESS. Bad people etc.
It's not a huge thing here to be honest, we discussed it at school but I don't know anyone personally who posted something online about me too
We're getting one side of the story, but that is way too upfront for my personal taste. I don't think guys should be chasing women down to tell them as a stranger that they are hot. it is creepy and pathetic.
Does anyone enjoy being chased? Short of the scene in Monty Python in which a gentlemen is chased by a bunch of topless women (wearing roller derby helmets for some reason), I cannot think of a scenario in which I would want to be chased. Even that guy was chased to his death so that throws that one out the window (or a cliff) too.
The gentleman should have played it cool, said hello to you on the bus, asked for lame directions, maybe ask for advice on where to get a cup of coffee, and asked you to join him.
I don't know why any 18 y/o would date a guy in his mid twenties either, but whatever. It's one thing to be told by a close companion or friend you look hot, I think its creepy to do it as a stranger otherwise.
**mental note for man who is not uber-attractive**
Never talk to a women in public again for fear of being branded creepy.
Never talk to a woman at the office for fear of being branded creepy (and losing my job).
Never talk to a woman in a club/coffee shop/store for fear of being branded creepy.
Never talk to a woman in school for fear of being branded creepy.
Never talk to a woman while on public transportation for fear of being branded creepy.
Answer: Only "talk" with women online where they are free to shame you without any consequences.
The reality is, if you thought the guy was "hot" you would have never felt "threatened" at all.
Once again, the difference between "awesome" and "creepy" is the physical attractiveness of the man.
I have mentioned this in many comments on comments already, and I will say it again. I am not looking for a relationship. I don't care how people look, it would have been just as creepy if it had been someone like Cameron Dallas or the Dolan twins, who I also do not deem to be attractive.
This is my opinion and if it had been my mother standing behind me, I would have still been freaked out and scared. It's about following someone in the dark.
I mentioned that this guy wasn't attractive solely because I tried to be as prexise as possible - however, my opinion is still my opinion.
Most likely he was just trying to ask you out, but you have every right to feel as you do. The fact that he followed you and yelled for your attention could be a red flag. As long as you're in public, make sure there are other women around between 20 and 45 and stick by them if you talk to the guy.
If he wants to talk more privately, even if he's "Just shy", that's his problem
... literally a guy who spoke german wanted to ask you out?
And he “allegedly” followed you is a creep for having human like feelings? He’s too old when you don’t even know his age?
You feel violated for being complemented? And feel like crying?
wtf is wrong with you girls these days?
In a few years it will be why don’t guys approach me?
Yeah, that’s how it is now, if you talk to a girl or try to chat her up you’re violating her,
See this is why I never speak to dumb ass females, save all the haste, their such drama queens
Save all the hastle**
Who needs em when we got porn anyway
@Yadoighnut Yh precisely and then people wonder why there's a drought in millennial dating. Were building a future for our younger generation oh wait what generation?
This is why I don't approach women ever if they are genuine they'll approach me if not I can pay for an escort.
I approach guys I'm interested in. And that has nothing to do with looks interestingly enough.
You don't like me feeling violated despite knowing nothing about my underlying issues, which would make you more understanding maybe.
Go ahead, hate women and pay for having sex, that's on you.
Oh do you? I find that hard to believe no idea why hmmm? And so what you telling us is that you do base your looks on what guys say after all. Because I never mentioned anything about how a guy looks but it was on your mind now I wonder why a girl who says she doesn't base who she likes on looks mention it in a post where it bears no relevancy? Oh yes because she's lying an 18 year old girl telling lies? Monstrous!
The man who approached you has no idea about your "underlying issues" neither do I are you really going to justify our actions based on facts we have no knowledge of? Even if he did how are you going to justify that what your issues is will even coincide with this guy?
How do you know he doesn't have underlying issues it isn't all about you he may have similar issues still he approached you?
I will but I don't need to pay a one night stand will do fine for me babes. Just remember keep acting like this eventually every guy on the planet will treat you the same and don't forget which gender depends on who to survive you'll only realise what you're doing and it's impact on dating culture when it's too late.
Fair enough, I don't think I need to talk someone who has the opinion that men, who were born by women, don't depend on women. The only man I've ever depended on is my father.
This discussion is over, thank you for your time.
I mean one could argue that if not for adam the first man eve would never exist but yh thank you for your time.
This is why flirting should be banned and both genders should be forcibly seperated, we shouldn't be allowed to live in the same cities and see each other, instead we should have male cities and female cities, and men and women should NEVER meet.
So you're saying the human race should go extinct?
No, I was being sarcastic. My point was that this is a natural part of letting men and women intermingle. I understand that she was scared at first, but she said she felt violated.
"She" is me in this case, I wrote the myTake.
Still don't get your point, I hate sarcasm though so that may be the reason.
The point is that its impossible to stop people from approaching each other entirely. You could probably make this less likely though, for example if we had buildings designed for men and women to meet and flirt and theae buildings were the only place where the genders were allowed to flirt, that might work.
For example, what do you want to be done? Do you want the man who flirted with you to be legally punished? Do you just never want anyone to flirt with you again?
Do you want public flirting to be a crime?
If he was attractive to you it would have been a positive experience.
But approaching a young girl in the dark with not to many people around I'd say he's a weirdo and you did good getting out of there fast.
Don't read to much into it. Something happened and next time please don't let yourself be approached like that in the dark by some random dude. Be safe
You need to get out the house more often, you're way too naive, and you live in a fantasy world. You're not really prepared for what's out there if you feel "violated" because someone does a creepy thing in your direction, or you see something you find "disgusting". For starters, get rid of the illusion that just because you're in a public place, it's "safe".
Precisely! The grim reality is that nobody is ever "safe", all we can do is go about our business with our eyes and ears open. Us millennials are an absolute joke.
@FreshOutaIdeas I agree with you and @loveslongnails. Thank you for sharing your thoughts.
Yawn...
He asked u out and you shat your pants?
Guuuurl I’ve actually had a man from online finding out where I live, traveling to my apartment and standing outside for hours, then he found out what my, my mothers and sisters number was.
Get Real...
That so unfortunate. How scary for u. Let's not play the "my situation is worse than yours " game. Don't devalue people's experiences.
Didn’t, just explaining something that’s actually scary
That's devaluing her situation by saying hers isn't scary
Yeah, cuz it isn’t xd
I don't even know how to respond. People like you are the EXACT reason guys don't approach girls. A little compliment is not the end of the world. The fact you feel violated for a guy just talking to you is what's disgusting. The only thing I'll agree on is that it was an odd encounter.
Also it's your own fault for not going out more which is the reason you probably feel that way. But still good job at assuming the first time a guy talks to you he's going to do something to you.
IF you like being followed, then it is your problem. Go approach guys instead of excepring it from them
I don't like being followed. I'm just saying you're making a big deal of nothing really
She said she is followed at night. What do you except?
Once in how many times? Like seriously. It's a small thing but for her to assume and then act like that
Sure it was creepy. But it's not that big of a deal until something DOES happen
I didn't say that I felt like he would do something to me. That's what you're reading into it. I mentioned that I walk around safe areas and that I feel safe usually.
It's funny how we never think about whether we're safe or not, I guess it's because nobody get's shot around here, people sometimes get stabbed but that happens once a year or so.
It would have been legal for him to carry a firearm, knife or other weapon, but only 4% of people in my country have a permit for that. I've never seen anyone carry a firearm other than policemen.
I have had very negative experiences when it comes to guys being too close to me but not in public, so I wasn't expecting this, that's all. Still felt safe.
Okay then what's the problem
That I don't want to be followed in the dark.
So you're making a bid deal about nothing like I said
Well, when you get raped, killed at night because you dont give a fuck for being followed, it is your fault then, LeeKenz
Wow no offense, but being an a-hole much? How dare you day something so disrespectful and basically condoning such practices that gets girls raped, used, abused and end up in bad relationships? as a person who goes to the same thing all the time, it is rude and judgmental of you to say that it's her fault that she doesn't go out more for her to feel the way she does. She feels what she feels because that's how she born at. It's a shame that a lot of you people have no respect for others that are different from you.
Nobody not even feel good attempt should be approaching random strangers like that. Guys who don't want to approach girls only approach you for one thing and that's the date you. And dating often leads to sexual relationships and other things that may not be good for the other person. You approach a person to be friendly and you have good intent. If you don't have good intent than there should be no reason for you to feel upset when a person doesn't be receptive to you. Has nothing to do with a compliment it has to do with the intent.
You lack self-awareness, empathy, and respect for your fellow gender when you do and say something so careless and ignorant. People like you and the guys that agree need to stop trying to change other people to be like you.
First of all, I've been raped four times so fuck you.
How can you say you didn't like being followed but you still felt safe? That doesn't make sense.
I don't mean it's her fault if something happens. I'm well aware of what can happen I'm just saying that there isn't any point in getting all offended when someone says one thing with no Intention of doing anything to you. If he was really going to try anything he wouldn't have said anything. There'd be no point in stopping and talking to you if he was going to rape you.
I apologize for seeming like I have no empathy or sympathy but trust me k do. What I don't have any patience for is someone getting all offended and acting like they've been violated when they haven't been violated in any way that's physical.
I'm very self aware and I'm a good person genuinely I am unless you hurt me in any way. By saying it's your fault, I didn't mean I wanted shit to happen to you because that's something that you should NEVER wish upon someone. EVER!
My question still stands: how can you not like being followed and be disgusted by the encounter... but still feel safe?
Hmm?
Also, did you ever consider maybe he just happened to be going the same way and then he saw you and wanted to catch up because he thought you wre pretty?
@LeeKenz
And as a rape victim you have become desentized to the behavior which is abnormal. That is lacking apathy. It doesn't matter what you've or any of us went through. It it still unacceptable. And cursing out at another user like that shows that sadly your not sorry or as emphatic as you make yourself out to be. It's attitude and mentality. And how you chose to respond to the Asker.
He was not going the same way for the sake of going the same way. He was following her to catch up and flirt. Not hard to read, it's basic English comprehension. You can feel being followed. It's in the energy and the air, and when you look into a person's eyes as it's the mirror of the soul you can see everything. That takes years of good observation skills if your not naturally an observer.
One, I didn't start cussing until she said "well then you get raped and killed at night for not giving a fuck."
I'm empathetic and apathetic. You don't know me. Am I desensitized? Maybe... but not for the reasons you think. I'm also a realist. It's going to happen. And you move on. That's life. That's how it fucking works.
Oh for fucks sake you're one of those people
And why did she respond that way? Because after reading your entire back and forth your lack of empathy is what sparked the debate. I don't agree with how she handled it. But it was a natural respond after how you chose to reply. Not just what you wrote. No, your being exactly like I said you were. I'm a realist too. But really don't act like pricks for the hell of it.
Nevermind. It doesn't matter what I say and I'm sorry if my original message didn't come out right. But don't you fucking say how I am when you don't even know me. I am who I am because I've been raped four times and I am sorry.
But I'm not going to sit here and then be judged for the way I view the world different than most people looking for the good in whatever despite what I've been through and have seen other people through.
I didn't say it was her fault if something happened. And I'm not blaming her for it happening all I meant was maybe if you got out more you wouldn't be as surprised. Plus... if you knew you were being followed why would you even stop to turn around and talk to the person?
I also have common sense. And that needs to be used more often by everyone
Realist*
And how you choose to respond is why your getting reprimanded the way you are. It is unacceptable. I don't care what your reasons are. Your the one who lacks common sense. You think it's all about You? Sorry, it's not. You can be raped over 100, it still doesn't give you the right to play up your feelings as being valid and others aren't. Your being a hypocrite. And victim or not, that is not changing until you change.
I'm not a hypocrite and you want to talk about being judgmental? Look in the mirror, you're judging me without even knowing who I am. I'm not saying it's all about me.
I respond bluntly I'm sorry but that's who I am. And when it's something that can be avoided it gets an even hardened version of what I'd say to maybe someone who was younger. But you need to know how to use common sense and be safe at night ALONE.
So many things could have been avoided but it's done. It happened. You're fine. Move kn.
Besides who are you to say what's acceptable or not?
Also. I still want to know how you can be followed and still feel safe?
Her exact words might k add.
The Asker even kindly explained to you how she felt, what went on, why it happened the way it did, and why she reacted that way. And you still downplayed her FEELINGS. Who are you to judge her unrighteously, but when your being judge righteously you want to hide in a corner? Your wrong. And you've been caught. You have to learn that despite your pain you don't inflict that on somebody else.
I haven't done that at all. I'm
Not hiding either. Besides you jumped in to a conversation to be a white knight.
I'm not meaning to come off like a dick but damn. You're judging more than I am I haven't even judged her. Or you.
Oh I'm just as blunt and I can judge because 1, I don't judge unrighteousg for no reason. 2, don't do those things to hurt people. I can sense that your not who you try to be, but you don't be considerate of others thoughts, opinions and feelings. And how she felt matter. It's not about what could have been and you move on. It's the fact of how that can impact you for life and your entire future.
I'm being a white knight? Tough! And you have done something to make everyone who commented upset. And you don't and still don't see that. I can be responsible for what I say. You sadly cannot. There is nothing wrong with righteous judgement which I have for you to say I'm being a white knight. You judged her unrighteously, and tell her to basically "get over it". Again, if you don't want somebody yo tell you "in you were raped x amount of years ahi, get over it by now. Know and understand that how you feel still affects her the same. The same as my experid as affects me to this very day. Being abused, bullied, physically assaulted, grew up domestic abuse doesn't help with it either. I'll be her voice if she need it. My voice was taken from me when I never had anybody stand up for me.
Forgive me, but a little cat call is not going to leave as much of an impression as being raped does.
Again I never fucking said her feelings didn't matter. Read what I'm saying and stop pretending like you know who I am. It is something you move on from because YOU have to, or you let it consume you and it's just as unhealthy.
I didn't judge her at all! Like you're judging me. Now Im assuming you're religious and that's why you think you have a reason for judging me, but you shouldn't judge people at all. Which I haven't done. And for that. I'm done responding to you.
Nothing I say will reach you because you don't believe that I'm actually a good person. So bye.
Good for you. Trust me. I'm well aware of the effects of being raped, abused, sexually assaulted. All of it. It's all happened to me. But in the end you have to move on. It'll take time. But you have to.
I'm doing it say by day and it's fucking hard. But I do. I have to live with it every day. I'm trying to get over everything but I never fully will. But being able to live with it is a big step then moaning about it.
I can believe you can be a good person. But how you choose to react is just as bad because you don't want to hear or look the mirror and see what you do. It's your attitute. So if you want to behave that way. Go ahead. I'm not religious. But your being a child. The moment you said it's people like her are the exact reason guys don't approach her is judging her. Look up the meaning of the word. Because you sadly don't know
I did not say her specially.
I'm sorry you've gone through that.
If she needs a voice then fine. And I'm sorry you didn't have that it's taken me years to find my own voice.
Look, im sorry for the way i responded. I was being a little too judgmental, but It's those same things you hear about and then when something really does happen, it's not listened to.
And see you call yourself being emphatic, your not for saying somebody shouldn't moan about it. It can affect a persom and scar them for life. And for some people that is their everyday daily life. Sad.
I hope you are doing what you need to move on and be mentally strong. I know it's a struggle and it's hard. But I hope you can do it.
I AM empathetic. I can feel the way it's made her feel. But im not showing as much SYMPATHY as you probar would expect from someone who's been through it.
Being empathetic and showing sympathy are not the same thing
I've learned for me sympathy doesn't help
What you don't see is not about being mentally string. I have been strong all my life. It's about fighting sinful ways and taking responsibility for our actions and holding other accountable. They will not respect you until you learn to respect yourself. You need to show sympthaphy. Because doing so shows love and courage.
I do. But when it's something as simple as catcalling I'll show sympathy but not a lot.
Look I've apologize quite a bit now for my actions and you've ignored it. And still don't see I take responsibility for what I say. So I'm
Done. I've said my piece. Whatever.
Having sympathy and for somebody to show you sympathy is love. That's why I sense the way I sensed it in you. You was lacking love in your heart. Regardless of how trivial you may find when you start losing situation carefully to be because you cannot imagine the person reacting the way they do doesn't mean that their feelings don't matter. Sympathy does help if you know how to be genuine and authentic. If you're doing it just to show pity then of course is not going to help you. But sometimes even just a little pity can go a long way.
I hope you can get through whatever it is that's happened to you and you can live through it with ease.
You may have said your piece, you may had apologized, but you need to change. I forgive you, I have not ignored what you wrote. But I'm letting you know that this can't continue to go on. You can't continue to live your life like this and you cannot expect other people to try to do the same thing you do no different than I can expect other people to do the same way that I do. That's the point that I am telling you. Because that way of thinking is very destructive and it hurts other people.
I have sympathy but there are levels to show it.
Not bye. Move on from this conversation as I am. It's not going anywhere.
Look you don't know the way I think or the way I act.
So no I'm not going to change because I am actually a good person with a good heart. So no I'm not going to change that. As I've said, I'm a blunt person. And that's how my opinions and shit come out. So no. Don't tell me to change I haven't told you to change. Stop judging people who you don't know.
Good day
Lmao, She just expressed her opinion... whats wrong with people nowadays.
@zheer8
She's not just expressing her opinion. That was a personal attack on the asker to make such blatant statements.
It was my opinion. Not an attack. Wtf?
It was an opinion however written in a very bad way, even if it was a personal attack on the asker i dont think people should attack her in the same way or even worse, people should learn respect, this is gag not a battlezone.
@zheer8 Nobody is here trying to attack her. At least I'm not. Respect is earned as well as given. And that's why she got came after the way she did. And didn't seem apologetic until she did apologize. It was wrong. I cannot control what other users say or do. Nobody should be attacking anybody on either end.
You're the only one who attacked me. I was apologetic even before I apologized but you didn't see it.
But I'm done with the conversation
I saw and told you before about you apologizing. But again, it is your attitude and how you're handling it. But your 20. You still have a long way to go. I have to say what I have to say because you were insensitive. And I am not going to take that back. I did what I had to do because you weren't going to apologized unless I stepped in. Good day.
Love you two, i think there was a misunderstanding, lets just end the conversation.
I had nothing to apologize for UNTIL you stepped in. Don't get it confused.
I don't have an attitude I don't handle anything wrong
Well then you know what, I leave it for you to figure it out because sadly you are so blind, it's not even worth a migraine over. Because you see how you're coming at me again right now, I don't even think you really are as sorry as you say you are. We're done is right. No misunderstanding here.
There is a misunderstand because you're not understanding me. But it's fine. You can think of me however you want to..
Hypocrites only get so far in life
No I understood you perfectly well. I'm not dumb, deaf and blind. I'm a nearly 28 years old, I know the attitide. I know the response. I've been there, done that before. I had the same attitude as you growing up. And it's still wrong sweetheart. It is still wrong. And that is me showing you and teaching you through tough love that regardless of your hurt, it's still wrong to treat other people like that. Nothing good comes out of it. It leaves you miserable and alone.
The only person treating anyone in a rude way is you, sweetheart. Age has nothing to do with it. I'm 21 on Friday. And I guarantee I'm more mature than you were when you were 20 so don't mention it has nothing to do with it. Now. You and me think differently. Again, I have no attitude except that I'm brutally honest and what I said was my opinion and you unloaded on me for no reason.
So stop being a ducking hypocrite and actually think about why you're all pissed at me for stating my opinion in a more rash way than I should have sure, but it's not your feelings, it's not your question, if the girl had a problem with me which she did and she responded and I addressed her. You're the one that kept this going.
She also practically wishes rape on me so no, I'm not going to take back what I said for that reason. You're telling me not to judge her, which I didn't, I used her as an example in my Opinion, and then you continue by judging me.
I don't know how else to apologize for the harshness of my words in my original opinion, but I have and I'm not completely ti uing this conversation.
Fucking** and continuing**
What's the difference between you and I is that I have grew up from that. You have not because you're still holding on to hurt. And I was just like you back then too when I was 20. Because I was dealing with abuse at home. But God still chastise me , I still had to remember to honor those around me and I had to ask God to forgive me and to change me into the woman he wants me to be. So yes you do need to change and I'm telling you this out of love not out of spite or hate. Because you need love girl you've been broken and you need to be mended again. And there's still a lot of mending that needs to be done in your life. What I have to say is not here to hurt you or to cause you a fence is for me to help you. But if you choose to take offense then that's out of your personal choice, it's not mine. I've learned to "let it go". But I don't just sit there and do nothing waiting for another attack to happen to me again. I set boundaries, I learn of the enemy, and I prepare myself. Cuz you got to prepare for war in a time of peace. And thank God the asker prepared for war. Only you can control how you feel and how you choose to live your life, it is not my job to tell you how to do it.
Again, you don't know me so stop telling me how I'm acting.
Bye now.
If you have to act so callous, then no, you are not mature as you think you are. I don't care how old you are going to be in a few days. Your not.
And first of all that was NOT the asker. That's was another user whom I even had run in in the past. I domt even agree with her methods. And told her no differnt than I am telling YOU. Plenty of times. I am no hypocrite.
Whatever bye
That just goes to show that you're just reacting yourself and you don't even pay attention to half the things that's even being said to you.
The Asker was @tallandsweet, the one that cursed you out and said about you God forbid being raped was @kim45456. Unbelievable. You still said she was making a big deal out of nothing. Horrible.
I do pay attention to what's being said. But I'm tired of arguing with your dumbass. Bye
You're hypersensitive and awkward. In major urban areas, people are complimented or insulted all the time. Reflect a diluted copy of their emotions back. If they are angry, you are severely annoyed. If they are very happy, you are amused.
Politely de-escalate undesired contact and leave. Rudeness angers everything, as his rudeness angered you. If you want to get into fights, be angry and very rude to people.
Mit amerikanischen Grüßen,
rechtlicheHund
I don't live in a major urban area though
Damn, a random person called you hot... get over it! I get the place was a bit creepy, but he had no way of knowing how old you are. It is not. like he was 40... he was 20 something, he could think you are in your early 20s...
When i was 17-18 I was catcalled by much older men... like 30+ and I didn't think much of it. Just ignore them. Unless they get too close you are safe.
This. Its often so difficult to tell someone's age.
I've met women who looked 23, but then turned out to be 16 (still legal where i'm form, but stigmatized). And i've met women who looked 15, but turned out to be 19.
At best, you can guess someone's age with a +-5 year range, and it's even worse these days with so much makeup around.
Never anything like that. Trust your senses!! It saddens me weve lost so much class if he was sincerely interested. Im glad you responded as you did. Either way... his approach was wrong.
On behalf of beavis and butthead... that guy gets the "hes a ditwad award"! For you... maybe tome for self defence classes to up your confidence as that was damaging
yes, in the US..."players" started training guys, the videos are out there. It works, so guys try that or the others give up. It only takes a few to set the tone.
The guy in the video above "picking up" was very decent relative to some. It's good Germans have some class.
Talk about victim mentality, wtf is wrong with people, it was a compliment, it's not like he grabbed you or anything, if he was a good looking guy you wouldn't have thought twice about it, and if no guy ever complimented you ever you'd be complaining about that too, geeze, this post can't be serious.
It is serious.
Following someone in the dark is never okay, my reaction may have been inadequate but the didn't mind.
He was approaching you, not following you, you told him you weren't in to it and he didn't push it, what is the problem here?
Approaching someone means he's facing you. I described accurately what happened, namely that he followed me. I didn't see him until I turned around.
The problem is him not realising how uncomfortable the situation was for me.
What’s wrong with you? Why would it be ok for a man to follow a girl in the dark? We all know rape happens way more often to women than to men of course she is scared! Don’t follow, approach in others places but not at night when she is clearly unavailable aka walking fast. He was creep but I’m glad he didn’t do anything else period
Yeah he was peobably trying to rape her!
He followed her!!!
Doubt it or he would have tried, then it would be a problem
The thing is that following someone like that is not ok. It’s very creepy.
Only creepy if the man isn't attractive
I’m attractive and I don’t do that.
It's not up to you to be considered attractive or not
I’m attractive and that’s just how it is. Others aren’t as licky.
Definitely not a good way to start a conversation with a girl. Even I would be creeped out if someone approached me in a dark area with hardly anyone around. The creeper needs to go home and stop prowling.
So sorry for you... happened to me as well. After that I‘ve learnt something about self-defence and buy yourself a pepper spray..
Please don’t do this to people , if you wanna chat or out of curiosity, don’t damn follow anyone. Respect each other’s privacy. Same for guys and girls.
Thank you, I agree with you and I don't think carrying a gun is effective but pepper spray is an idea.
Still very extreme to me, crazy I have to think about stuff like this now.