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Being followed by a stranger for the first time (Page 3)
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Almost started crying Cos he called you hot?
Your dumb, this guy obviously wasn’t a creep rapist,,,, he was jus some lonely ginger attempting to chat you up, all you had to do was say sorry but I’m not attracted to you now fuck off, not cry about it you dumb ass lollll,
And if he don’t leave you alone jus run or call out for help
You feel violated cos a guy called you hot?
See this is why I never talk to girls, y'all need to get over yourself and stop being such fucking drama queens, it’s not that serious
I told him that I don't need to be having this conversation right now. I din't say I wasn't attracted to him, that is considered rude I think.
Eh being told that only matters to insecure women. Looks fade especially for us women so i prefer a real man who is attracted to me yes but desire something deeper.
Also a lot of Spoiled western women today will get all creepy about a guy being open with them. Just learn to communicate like an adult and move on.
I'm not sure your countries laws on the subject but carry a weapon of some sort. Learn to use it. Hopefully you never will but better to be prepared for the circumstance. I tell all my female friends to stay armed. Being followed is not something to take lightly.
I mentioned this before, I won't carry a gun. Only 5% of people here do, I've never seen anyone other than police officers and soldiers carry firearms.
Thank you for sharing your opinion though, I believe that you had good intentions.
This is why the second Amendment is so important to have so please go learn the safety of owning a gun and how to use one yes I know your 18 and you can't carry 1 but you won't be 18 forever plus there's other things that you can carry and 1 thing you already have is your keys they make a very good weapon
I mentioned that I'm not an American. The only time I felt threatened was when we went to the US and there was a bomb threat against the school we were visiting and some teachers told us the police would shoot anyone trying to kill students.
Never had an experience like this in Central Europe, although a high percentage of Swiss people owns guns.
Then again, the laws are different here and I'm glad that they are this way, I will not purchase a gun anytime soon.
I know one person who owns a gun and he hunts deer with it for our municipality (woods).
Perhaps you should go back home.
@KrakenAttackin I'm confused, I still live in Central Europe
I think all country's have problems but in America the people don't need police to save them
I thought this happened in the U. S? If not, never mind.
Me too
@KrakenAttackin Ah, so all the hate was for nothing?
Look at this:
It's extremely uncommon in my part of the country [Europe] to be hollered at, catcalled or followed. People don't do that often. I've never had an experience like this, and I've never been told that I looked "hot" in real life.
I've never heard anyone mention that a boy or girl looks "hot" or "heiß" in general, we rather use what can be translated to "beautiful", "attractive", "good-looking". I'm still very disturbed by his remark and this day will forever be instilled in my memory.
Would you also be freaked out by this or am I too sensitive?
Have you already followed someone to tell them something similar?
Update: This video highlights my culture well in my opinion
If you click my profile, it says that I'm from Germany. I'm amazed you write so much on this myTake despite never having read the full piece.
As for you, @BIGGESTD39 , alright, you made a mistake.
In America we used to have this thing called freedom of expression and yes I have sat somewhere and a beautiful woman came up that's it wow you're hot just how we do things take it as a compliment
No. I just think you are overly sensitive.
Oh ya but guns are good
You need to take control of your fantasies and feelings also question your social bios since it obviously hurts you acording to what you say.
Have read little amongst comments to answers. it seems like someone with female account tries to attack others if they aren't falling in to her line of view. even with a former rape victim that clearly seems to be a realist.
My social bias? I don't understand what that has to do with what happened.
I don't understand what you mean in your second paragraph.
Ya , or maybe I would have freezed down. It's the same for me as I don't go outside of my home other than for classes. I am 17 now , and such situations would make me disgusted
I think only you can say whether you are being too sensitive as you experienced the situation and how it made you feel. I feel because it was dark the situation was most likely amplified and if it was daylight I don't think you wouldve perceived it as scary, maybe just as weird. funny or even flattering. Anyway I think you are entitled to feel how you feel and if I was in that situation I would feel a little weird moestlly because of the context of it.
This is ridiculous. Hey though, good job assuming the worst of a guy who talked to you just because he was older than you. Not sexist in the slightest, no sir.
It's pretty obvious that this was just sexual interest. What did he expect, that the girl would jump on a random stranger just because he said she's hot?
@white_fang He didn't expect anything. He made a comment. It's her right to feel how she feels, and it's my right to let her know that how she feels is sexist.
I don’t care about age, he was my type age wise. It wouldn’t have been sexist to tell him that I don’t want to have this conversation due to his age.
That’s a preference.
Making a comment is fine when I’m passing by. Following me is something else in my opinion.
... Except your post isn't titled "being followed by a stranger for the first time"-- it's "being told you're really hot for the first time." Clearly that means it's the focus of your thought processes here. If the issue is that he followed you, then yes, that's totally something that could be concerning and wouldn't be sexist of you for criticizing him for... except that isn't entirely what you said, is it.
No sis, what's sexist of you, again, is assuming the worst about him not because he followed you, but because he 1) was male and 2) was older than you. You made that very clear, whether you meant to or not. Reread what you've written here.
Oh, sorry, and what's more, apparently wasn't attractive. All you are doing with this post is proving that females absolutely hate it when any stranger who isn't attractive talks to them, whereas a stranger who is attractive is totally fine. The attitude of the stranger himself isn't the point. It never was.
Yes, we women hate when fugly boys approach us. So do us a favor and dont make "compliments" if you are ugly
I don't care about someone being attractive or not, in this situation it's creepy. I changed the title.
Great, but again, that wasn't what you really wanted to say, or you would have said it the first time.
@kim45456 Yes, we know what you girls are actually like inside, it's no secret.
Ok fugly man
@kim45456 Lol okay sis.
Okay, so I know I'm young and what not, but I just want to say that it's not sexist that she assumed the worst of a guy older than her. What she was trying to say was that she was creeped out because a guy that was older than her was rushing after her at night and then proceeded to compliment her.
She also didn't assume the worst, she assumed he wanted directions or something. That's a normal everyday occurrence for people. What made her change her mind was at the time of day, late at night, there is a guy, older than her, complimenting her looks in a way that is not usually done and it came off as creepy to her.
I understand her because in Nigeria, where I'm from, older men constantly hit on me and I am usually very uncomfortable and scared that something might happen to me.
It's not uncommon for women to be raped and/or killed. Rapists may have a tactic of complimenting women and getting them drunk or to make them lower their guard. It is always better for women to be wary or prepared because it keeps us safe. As a female that goes through being called beautiful, fine or hot on a weekly basis, it makes me become reclusive and my family tries to help.
Things like being called 'hot' or 'sexy' when we don't want to have lasting effects and may scar us or become triggers.
I know it sounds like I might be over exaggerating but being a man is very different to being a woman and you probably won't be able to understand the struggles we face.
I hope I helped you understand what she was trying to say.
@just_an_oxymoron " it's not sexist that she assumed the worst of a guy older than her." ... Um... well, yes, it is.
"was rushing after her at night" is the only relevant thing she chose to write; everything else is sexist garbage. She only changed the title of her piece here once she realized her mistake-- it was originally titled "being told you're really hot for the first time." It's not about being told that she was hot-- it's about being told she was hot by a guy who she didn't consider attractive. If Ryan Gosling or whoever had been the one to tell her that, she would have been flattered and turned on. Instead, because the guy was a little older and unattractive, he's a would-be rapist. It's fucking stupid. And that's how most females think.
This was exactly my point. If a man is attractive than he can say/do anything with a woman. If a guy isn't attractive just speaking to a woman is considered "creepy" and could cost him his job (if at work) or even land him in jail.
This is the actual criminalization of not being physically attractive.
@kim45456 Evidence of the crime. "Fugly" has been criminalized. I will remember that the next time I see a female on the turnpike with a blown tire. I will just roll right on by as she might consider my (genuine) offer to change her tire as "creepy".
@kim45456 Wow, Kim. You are as shallow as the shallow end of the kiddie pool. You will get all you "deserve" in life with an attitude like yours.
@KrakenAttakickin Shallow? I am honest. Everyone is entitled to their preferences
@KrakenAttackin I explained in an answer to your opinion why it didn't matter whether he was attractive or not. Double hate is not rerquired.
What is "looking available"? I've met girls in clubs wearing nothing but a loose bra and fishnets who had boyfriends. And i've met women in hoodies and jeans who where single.
I do think you're being overly sensitive. Sure, his approach could have been better. But ultimately he was harmless, just saw an attractive woman and wanted to introduce himself. He didn't violate you or anything like that. I'm sure he's sorry for startling you, and didn't intend to.
I would agree with this but the comment of "I saw you and thought you were hot" is not a friendly compliment in most contexts and he continued to follow her. Yes there isn't anything wrong with introducing yourself or trying to start conversation but it seems like this dude just wasn't good at hitting on someone. That being said if something like this happens again and you are in public with other people around. I heard a freind of mine say this is one of her tactics one time. Just type in a note on your phone "this guy is following me talk to me for a second to divert his attention away please" and go up to a random woman and address them by any name like they are an old friend and hand them your phone. This gives creepers the vibe that they are outnumbered and changes the circumstances enough that if they are a predator it makes pursuing you too risky.
@keithdaves Thank you so much for replying something that's actually helpful. That's a great strategy. I will use it, I wouldn't have come up with that myself.
@Torari I hid your comment because you used a swear word to insult me and I'd like to keep this on somewhat of an intellectual level despite knowing that there are a lot of emotions involved in the comments
@tallandsweet no problem at all if you ever need help in the future feel free to message me. I think that's a thing you can do on this app I personally just got it though so I dont know XD
I understand that he was being creepy , but I don't think you were ever in danger. I live in Canada and I have tried meeting women in public and it never works. I think is for the same reason. I just tried to be less creepy.
Become a dedicated student of a martial art, such as Shotokan karate.
None of the females with whom I train at a Shotokan dojo walk in fear.
Be a hunter, not the hunted.
You are not too sensitive. That s what you should do and feel as wellThat s happend to me 2 time this year (13y/o)
I felt and did the same
Someone told a 13 yo she's hot? I don't believe it. Who said it? An 8 yo?
Nope he looked like a 25 y/o. The men started calling"hey hottie" at first i though they were not talking to me so i ignored them then he grabbed my shoulder and said"sup? You look hot you know" i pushed him and ran until i finnaly arrived home
What? Listen that guy either was a paedo or he was messing with you. I'm 23 so i'm close to his age and i assure yoy we do not find 13 year olds hot. They look like kids to us. Don't make a big deal out of that
I am kinda too tall so i probobly look like a 17 y. o. he s probobly a sick bastard. People like him in our country exist a lot
Thnx i guess
How tall then? Being tall doesn’t just magically add 4y of age especially in ur teens.
I am close to 2 meters :"")
What the actual fuck? That’s scary. I’m 191cm and have never met a girl my height.
I told you.. I see now why some people avoid me:')
And you’re 13... How tall were u again? 198?
I m not sure exaclty
Maybe a little bit lower..
Possibly be best if you walk home with group of friends be a better idea just saying.
I wanted to but nobody walked in this direction
Omgosh. I agree with u. It was probably harmless in his head but when it actually goes down it's freaky and creepy. I completely understand why u feel violated. Most people are telling u to chill out but TBH what would they be telling u if he really was a psycho and was trying to harm u. It was an inappropriate interaction and I hope it never happens again. However don't freak yourself out. Be safe and don't let this get to u. It is unfortunately quite common.
Thank you for sharing your opinion, I will try to be less freaked out next time.
Yeah, guys should never flirt with women because it's inappropriate interaction, like the woman can't tell if you're a psycho or not!
I had a female student follow me to the canteen around campus and was shocked when she suddenly sad down right opposite to me with nowhere else to look at but her. The police later considered this to be stalking.
This sounds very stressful for you
I didn't know what to do since I feared her to do what she did anyway, because I had a girl do so in middle school as well, and that girl went as far as showing up at my house.
I don't understand how you could be scared of a girl. I get how if a girl is walking alone and its dark it would be scary to be approached but a man at a campus in the middle of the day? Something is wrong with you, or you left out important details in that story.
@DanielStark ever met a schizophrenic woman?
Yeah that's definitely scary. nobody likes being followed.
@DanielStark and my confidence shall help with other people's weirdness?
Yep, predators seek out easy prey. Weak people are easy prey.
@DanielStark Are you serious? Of course females can rape males. You are putting down people who experienced this. I hid your comment.
@tallandsweet I think due to the official definition of rape, people imagine females attempting to rape males like someone trying to put a squirming fish into a bucket, whilst males raping females would be like the fish hopping straight into the bucket.
Never heard of taht ever happening and don't see how it's even possible but ok.
@DanielStark en.wikipedia.org/.../Rape_of_males
@tallandsweet it's sad that there need to be online articles about what egomaniacs seem to just not want to accept.
I'm gonna take that as a compliment ;D
# me too seriously? You feel violated because someone said you were attractive, get a grip.
No lol, it has nothing to do with me too, I don’t support that movement.
It’s about me feeling violated in my personal space and freedom. I’m not looking to date anyone.
Dont follow girls at night. That is not a compliment
?
This is what guys have to do because women don't ask men out.
Honestly there is no other way.
Not in the dark... (*o*)
Im neither looking for a relationship nor trying to date atm.
Okay. Does he know that? No. Guys just walk around. They have no idea, they only know that doing nothing means no results.
by the way I'm not attacking you. I'm just saying, like, what else an we do?
We don't approach, we lose. We approach and you run away and cry, we lose. 🤷🏻♂️
🤷🏻♂️🤷🏻♂️🤷🏻♂️
I think you'll need to get used to this. 18 is 18. If you are over the legal age of consent then there is no such thing as too old. It's fair game.
I feel like the problem for me personally was how long he followed me, that was the creepy thing
Well, you get one shot at things like that. If you disappear then he doesn't get a chance so the poor guy probably wanted to make sure to say hello no matter what.
Carry a little something called a pepper spray , Just in case. And , yeah guys can be creepy, Especially introverts , if they find something appealing , the whole phenomenon of imagination and stuff starts. You need not to worry girl , Be strong and spray your little friend in case ;)
Wants to be complimented, receives first "You're hot" compliment. Feels violated
And you wonder why guys are so fucking confused when it comes to the mixed signals women give us.
I'm very clear and honest. No mixed signals.
Your post says otherwise xD
Better watch out, the PC babies will get triggered.![Being followed by a stranger for the first time]()
Lol she changes the title when she realises she's been found out xD
Where do you see mixed signals? Me walking fast in the first place? Me stopping because I thought he needed directions? Me walking away from him?
I changed the title because I realised what you said is true, I didn't focus enough on the first title to have it be justified
"I had always imagined this scenario to be very flattering and that it would turn me on"
I didn't tell him that nor does anyone know about this ;)
False, we all know
A fucking men to that.
Jus don’t talk to girls ever, save all the hastle
Was out late 1 night and 2 probably 14 yr old girls here following me eventually I just turn around and am like ,, your not gonna rob me are ya?,,
,, NAH BUT YOU GOT THAT DILDO THO?,, ahahaha we al laughed.
I'm glad you were able to laugh it off, I seriously need to become more chill and I'm working on that.
Not the same thing. 14 year old girls aren't threatening.
@keithdaves They can be, trust me