Being followed by a stranger for the first time

[tallandsweet]

I barely go out of the house. I'm 18 and caucasian.

I go to school Mondays through Fridays but I don't spend time partying on the weekends, I study. Therefore, I have no experience clubbing whatsoever and barely meet very strange people face to face.

Today, something very strange happened and here's how.

Some context

I had a rough day where people I had almost completely forgotten were mentioned by friends, which was painful. Having gone through some relationship related stuff recently, all I wanted was to talk, so I recorded a voice message on my phone, directed at this wise person, which calmed me down.

I walk very fast, and today I walked a little faster than usually because I needed to catch the bus. All of a sudden, I heard footsteps behind me, walking the same pace as me, which hardly ever happens. Mind you this was a fairly safe and public area, but not necessarily well-lit.

He was much closer than this

How it went down

I stopped talking and continued walking until I heard someone saying "Excuse me!" behind me. I turned around and stopped when I saw that it was not a very attractive caucasian man in his mid twenties with a ginger goatie and grin on his face, I assumed that I had lost something which he wanted to return or that he wanted to ask me for directions.

I stared at him in a strained and tense way, waiting for him to say something, until he uttered the words "Do you speak German [my mother tongue]?"

He must have overheard my conversation, but I spoke a different dialect and much faster than him, so I said "Yes..." slowly.

He then stared at me, grinned a little more and said "You cought my eye, I think you're really hot and...", at which point I interupted him by grunting in a "cool" and annoyed way, saying "Thanks but I really don't need that" and walking away even faster. It took me all of my composure not to start crying

{ It sounds different in German and much worse to me personally, to anyone speaking the language, this is the dialogue:

"Entschuldigung?"

"Sprichst du Deutsch?"

"Ja..."

"Weil du bist mir aufgefallen, ich finde dich echt heiß und..."

"Danke, das brauch ich nicht" }

Walking away was worse than hearing him behind me

What it did to me

I panicked, this had never happened before. The guy was too old for me, he was creepy for following me in the dark and had scared me terribly.

I had always imagined this scenario to be very flattering and that it would turn me on.

It didn't, because I wasn't going out/clubbing/partying, I didn't wear something tight or looked available at all. If any of the three things had been given, maybe I would have liked and understood it a little.

I hated it.

And I'm disgusted.

In case this is relevant: I was wearing high waisted loose paperbag trousers, a pullover and a knee length coat.

Why I feel violated

I'm young, I only just turned 18. It's extremely uncommon in my part of the country [Europe] to be hollered at, catcalled or followed. People don't do that often. I've never had an experience like this, and I've never been told that I looked "hot" in real life.

I've never heard anyone mention that a boy or girl looks "hot" or "heiß" in general, we rather use what can be translated to "beautiful", "attractive", "good-looking". I'm still very disturbed by his remark and this day will forever be instilled in my memory.

Would you also be freaked out by this or am I too sensitive?

Have you already followed someone to tell them something similar?

Update: This video highlights my culture well in my opinion:

Girls here are often very confused and crept out when someone tries to pick them up. It really depends on the person but the mentality is: Be honest, nobody cares about whether you're nice or not.

Update: I talked to some class mates and friends about what happened and they said that it's creepy. The guys in particular said that they would never say something like that to anyone, which highlights my point that dating is different in Germany when you compare it to e.g. the US.

[FreshOutaIdeas]

"I barely go out of the house. I'm 18 and caucasian."

I think OP needs to grow up and experience the world a little more. I'm not saying you need to go clubbing to experience "the real world" either, but you really need to pull your head out of your ass and realise that there are weird people everywhere - not all of them are mass murdering criminal psychopaths either, thankfully!

Was the guy being a bit lecherous? For sure, a lot of white boys (I'm white too) these days don't know how to approach girls/women; but to say you felt violated because some weeboo found you attractive is just pathetic. What you should do is understand that the guy was probably a bit of a loser, but ultimately meant no harm, and just take it in your stride - someone found you attractive!

Take it from an apparently decently attractive guy, even we have to watch out for crazy women too you know! Very recently I was out one night, and a drunken Spanish/Portuguese girl (couldn't decipher her nationality completely) wouldn't leave me alone. I entertained her out of politeness at first, gave some mild flirtatious sarcasm hoping she would leave... But nope... She starts trying to force herself on me, and calling me names, testing my manhood, in her mind this was to create more sexual tension, but I wasn't interested.

So she starts rubbing up on me, grabbing my dick, challenging me more and more, asking me what I'm gonna do to her. So what do I do? I gently grab her pussy and tell her nicely but firmly to leave me alone and that I weren't interested.

She then recoils, runs off to a group of guys trying to get them to attack me for either "groping" or worse yet, trying to rape her. When she realised none of these guys wanted to try their luck with me, she then told all the female bar staff in the hopes of getting me barred from the premises.

Anyway her plan didn't work. But she done all that out of spite because I refused to sleep with her.

Now I'm a big strong man, I can handle myself, but that's an example of a real "violation".

[tallandsweet]

Thank you for sharing your opinion, I absolutely agree with you and the reason I mentioned that I barely leave the house was because I know it's bad and I need to go out more often.
I'm sorry about your experience, I unfortunately have heard of girls doing this type of thing and I in no way wanted to say that him following me was nearly as bad as what she did to you.

[FreshOutaIdeas]

@tallandsweet
Thanks for the honest reply! I feel it's worth mentioning that saying what I said, definitely wasn't in hostility to you! And don't beat yourself up for not going out too much just yet, there's no need to rush into "going clubbing", whilst it can be fun these venues are also full of plenty of... Colourful... Characters anyhow.

What I say is actually for your safety, and all other decent girls out there, the best form of defense from genuinely creepy men is to have a little common sense which can only come from being exposed to different people and situations, generally.

Obviously my example is a slightly more extreme one, but like I say it's different for a big guy like me, therefore I can take most things in my stride. But as for you and your take, I do also bear in mind that women are at a physical disadvantage. So I know it's important for you to be able to handle yourself in certain situations.

[DanielStark]

This is why I don't go clubbing. Plus it's EXTREMELY... colorful... where I live so everyone I know just has parties at their houses instead.

[sp33d]

I've been accused of stalking or following somebody. I just happened to be walking to the same cafe. A young lady, late high school/early uni or so turned around suddenly and said something like "hey, mister stop following me!". I was shocked and I said "sorry, you're too young for me" and she was offended :D

I bought her a cup of tea and she calmed down.

[tallandsweet]

First off, I'm sorry that she thought you were following her.
Secondly, I think you handled the situation really well, thanks for replying!

[Glue-Sniffer]

Wenigstens kam da nicht so etwas wie du geile Schnecke!
Well, this is quite disturbing but just don't think about it. I believe this has happened to a lot of women out there at some point.
I once had something similar happen to me. This guy approached me in the subway and he was like you are very beautiful out of the blue and I was like yeah I know. Then I turned around and walked away.
I used to wear a ring that looked like a wedding band just to ward off unwanted attention and if anyone ever approached me in the street I would just point to my ring and say sorry I am taken.

[tallandsweet]

Oh mein Gott da hätte ich definitiv gelacht, vor allem aus dem Mund dieses Mannes wäre das etwas unglaublich amüsantes gewesen, wobei die Situation einem den Spaß verdirbt.
I wear rings but that didn't stop him, interesting idea though, thank you!

[5_AM_Oracle]

Well he fucked up. He should have just approached you instead of waiting that long. In the end it seemed like he just wanted to hit on you and if you think about it, you can feel flattered, it's a compliment in the end. But the following beforehand ruined it and made it all uneasy.

At least he accepted your rejection unlike other pushy types or you didn't like get followed by a car or have a guy or group of guys pretend they're doing something everytime you look back, only to pursue you again

[soleil2666]

Ah!
You and I need to talk, because I was just going through potentially dating someone in Germany - and the English/American ways (and intentions) generally translate VERY DIFFERENTLY (and badly!) to German!
I don't personally speak it, but just reading the bits of what you wrote in German and putting it into that context makes how you would get into that state pretty clear.

So - breathe, calm down! (I mean it in a good way, like - nothing is happening).
I don't know the exact situation and/or tone of voice involved, but perhaps the other side was, like many Germans, getting 'modern' about what many seem to be considering right now - trying to partake in this popular 'American' dating thing Germany is trying to learn (and is getting both entirely wrong and to some degree in need of).

Now the long explanation, as you have written it like that (feeling disturbed/perhaps panicked out).
First things first - the fact that you speak fast in general implies that you are generally nervous/on the 'wound up' side (I am the same). While this is very normal in Germany, where certain things socially are 'well known' (and the part I find surprisingly easy to fit into), it is not at all common for America (or much of the rest of the world).

Second - there is a difference in someone paying you a compliment kindly (which involves appreciating you as a person and liking/admiring/finding sexy the way you look - but with all naturally assumed guarantees of safety and your emotional and physical security) - and someone doing it in a way forceful towards your pants... (this later part is not how it is done anywhere by the way, even if it sounds 'American' - sometimes (for people less busy, and generally older, you CAN do something like that and get the desired outcome pretty fast - but whether anyone actually enjoys that is a big question)

Third - from me - thank you for clarifying the 'be direct' part - this I have come to realise while in Bavaria this past weekend (it is simple in essence, but not allowed in many forms in other cultures where you have to imply rather than be direct). The 'nice or not' part I do understand now.

[the_face_of_god]

This is sad cry in the decline of strong women thanks to feminism. Your reaction and feelings about the situation are entirely overblown. The danger comes from the psychological bombardment through your years growing up that have taught you that men are always a threat. You said it was a public area and you were trying to catch a bus, so was the danger even real? Perhaps, but he might have thought he was just being charming whether it was creepy or not.

The problem I have is how are you going to deal with this throughout the years, because this will continue to happen as you mature? The reason you haven't experienced this behavior yet from men is that you have just blossomed into a young women. Before then you were a child.

My point is not belittle or hurt your feelings, but you can't react this way every time this happens to you, and more importantly do you want to?

Women have huge power over men. You need to learn that. There's nothing worse for a guy than being rejected by a girl he desires.

[tallandsweet]

I‘m a strong woman, I don’t have a lot of experience. I‘m not looking to date anyone.
I didn’t grow up hating men or thinking that they’re dangerous, that’s why I mentioned that I’m from Germany, it’s different here, I’ve never heard anyone complain about how men approached them inappropriately. It happens, but it doesn’t happen too often.
People are blunt, yes, but what freaked me out was WHAT he said and in which situation we were. I tried to explain that nobody says „you’re really hot“ here. It was the phrasing and that it was dark and that I was in a rush.
It was an overreaction, yeah, but what am I expected to feel when I’ve never heard this before?

[tallandsweet]

I didn’t reject him, I told him that I don’t need this conversation right now, which, culturally, I can safely assume he understood.
I didn’t insult him, I simply surprised him because, again, culturally, he expected me to be more laidback (I won’t go into details here but it‘s about my dialect). I’m not. I never was. That’s why I don’t want to date atm, I’m not chill at all.
I should have laughed and said „good joke bro“, I don’t think I’m pretty, so that would have been an appropriate reaction.

[ShebaDiamond]

This is so true and why i always warn me to stay away from modern western "women" they are psychotic and indoctrinated to manipulate everything to destroy men and their babies. Im sorry men we live in this feminazi society where ALL SEXUALITIES ARE ACCEPTED BUT MENS.

[ShebaDiamond]

*Men

[tallandsweet]

I don’t understand why you used the word feminazi, that’s very offensive to me and I kindly ask you to remove this word.
My grandparents were incarcerated in concentration camps to give you some background, it’s not something you can randomly form a neologism with.

[kim45456]

@ShebaDiamond haha you arw a golddigger searching for a white man. Stop generalizing you attention seeker

[KrakenAttackin]

Your native men in Germany have been totally pussified, but don't worry, the influx of muslim rapefugees will teach women the true meaning of creepy.

[kim45456]

@KrakenAttacking these german men are desired by all women. You are jelous ofthem

[KrakenAttackin]

"Strong woman", at 18 you are still a girl.

[SomeGuyCalledTom]

Sounds like he picked the wrong time and place to try his chat-up attempt-- I can understand why the context of the interaction could have made you uncomfortable.

But from the pics you post, and some of the phrasings you use to describe your feelings about this experience, you make it seem almost like you've been the victim of some kind of sex crime.

In reality it was just a guy trying to make a come-on like most guys want to, but he went about it the wrong way and it came across somewhat creepy. Just chalk it up to "well, that guy was a bit of a creep!", and go on about your day.

I know of guys like the one you mentioned, and I can guess that he didn't have actual creepy intentions, he was just not smooth or socially calibrated in his approach, and it was off-putting as a result. Don't read too much into it, most guys have very little 'game', and have to go through a period of being somewhat 'creepy' so that they can ultimately learn what NOT to do (ie: "failing forwards"). That doesn't give any guy an excuse to just invade your personal space in an uncomfortable way, but at the same time, men are wired to learn from pushing things and seeing what works. If he's smart, he'll know he pushed too far and will be more considerate in his future approaches. If he's a dumbass, he'll carry on creeping girls out and go home alone to his wank-sock haha

[tallandsweet]

I'm genuinely sorry about that.
It is a myTake and I inserted pictures I felt were alright, but they weren't supposed to influence anyone like this, I'm not trying to be dramatic. They were some random pictures I thought could describe what the scenery was.
I'm sorry.

[SomeGuyCalledTom]

@tallandsweet no apologies necessary, you used the images that you associated with the written events in your own subjective view. My point was simply to point out the potential limitations of drawing those associations. I have no reason to doubt the sincerity of your motives for posting this, it's all good :)

[tallandsweet]

Thank you, this means a lot, I wasn't expecting the amount of backfire this post would create.

[SomeGuyCalledTom]

Any "backfire" on my end was meant only on an intellectual level, not a personal level about you specifically :)

[tallandsweet]

I got that, thank you, means a lot

[SpacedCharr]

Ok, you had a scary encounter.

YOU WERE NOT VIOLATED.

You cheapen the actual experience of actual victims when you use words like that. Consider the far teaching impact of what you're saying - and pick different words.

You were not "violated". You were *followed*.

Two very different things.

You're writing this here, now. Meaning he didn't kill you, he didn't attack you (I assume you'd have told us if he had), and he didn't do anything other than act like a total creep.

Big fucking whoop.

Deal with it. It happens. It will continue to happen. It is not "evil", it is a misunderstanding.

You weren't clubbing? Sure. But you were walking in a public space.

Also, why did you keep walking after you knew someone was following you? Why did you choose to go to a place that was dark and sparsely populated?

Your safety is YOUR business.

Pick brightly lit areas, go with friends, etc. And if you want to walk alone (like I do), *learn to defend yourself*.

So you hated one interaction. Big whoop. You're gonna have more things to hate if that's what you're gonna give a fuck about.

I would also freak out about this, but I wouldn't attach so much emotion to it either.

You're safe. You're whole. You were not beaten or raped.

Be grateful and ask yourself what you can do to no longer feel afraid. And be more situationally aware next time! You are responsible for your own safety! Leaving it to others opens you to danger.

[Sara14151617181920]

Violation is both a feeling and a physical accurance. If she feels violated then she feels violated. However she was not physically violated. Have a little compassion and understanding for others trying to make sense of situations they feel are scary.

[SpacedCharr]

Nope. She's making this a bigger deal than it needs to be and it will fuel her fears and limit her life.

I refuse to allow this one to become afraid to walk on her own.

[Sara14151617181920]

Making her feel bad about how she feels is no way to empower her or encourage her to move on from this experience. Your whole comment would just make her feel like shit

[SpacedCharr]

That's the point.

She must grow resilient from this, not weak.

[MissKittyz]

Honestly, I can't really say if you were being too sensitive or not since everyone is different and perceive things differently as well. For me, I wouldn't be freaked out or even care because I'm used to that type of stuff. If you lived in Canada, especially downtown, you'd be so used to guys calling you names like "hey sexy" or asking to hook up with you while you are literally just walking to go to a grocery store or something. So, if I was in your situation, I wouldn't be freaked out, depending on my mood, I would just tell the guy thank you for the compliment or tell him to fuck off and then just move on with my day. But that's only because I've had many guys come up to me and say stuff like that to me. Catcalling happens often here as well.

But it is understandable that you were freaked out by it since it never happened to you before and it isn't something that often happens in your country as well. Some guys just don't know how to approach a lady without sounding like a perv or creepy af.

[OpenWine]

okey he did run real fast which is kind of like a predator going after it's prey it's natural to feel scared about it.

it's true that in germany most guys have no balls to even look at a pretty woman and when they talk to one it ends up in such a mess you can only laugh or feel pity. the women in fact are likely to not expect to be approached which may make them unable to understand it when a guy takes his shot.

I always try to figure how other people feel and I can understand him more than I can you, the guy tried his shot but he is from the kind that doesn't approach women often so he probably didn't know that running after a woman is not like in the movies.

I picked up the fact that it was dark so it's understandable that it made the guy creepier.

if you really are a scaredy cat I advise you to have a knife with you at all times, helps with the way germany feels like and assures you to be less rude whilst being approached without actually being assaulted. my rule is eye for an eye and he didn't take yours so have a nice day

[Anonymous]

Oh!.. reminded me of a joke..
That me and my guy friend played.. On a girl, because her female best friend requested it..
The girl was scared and worried she had a scary nightmare of getting followed and then raped and killed..

So her female best friend wanted to cheer her up..

It's went a little like this..

Me and my guy friend followed her for few meters.. When she started getting uncomfortable and worried.. And scared.. We called her like.
" Hey can you tell me"
She was..
Worried and turned around..

That's when my best friend stepped back.. And pulled my pants down..
Of course I was wearing a underwear..

("Our goal was to make it funny for her.")

As my friend tired to jump away.. I lunged and his pants were down.. We were wrestling in middle of street that's where other friends pulled in there with a mini van stopped it next to us.. Came out with bucket of water and poured it on us.
Then one of my Van friends, handed her an ice-cream cone.. And told her "You can finish that" and "Thank you, we are here to kidnap them." then They kidnapped us is front her.
Basically she ended up being confused, definitely didn't laugh... But realized that she shouldn't be afraid of nightmares..

[tallandsweet]

I don't get why you would play a joke like this to someone. I don't think it's funny at all and would have been confused as well.

[Opinion Owner]

It was right next to her friend's house like just outside it..
So...
She knew she wasn't at risk..
Besides.. Her friend asked my friend.. And my friend had a crush on her friend..
I just did it for my brother.. 😂

[Opinion Owner]

I am not saying it was my idea or brightest idea..
Besides we were stupid teenager back then.. 😂🤣

[razelove]

Sounds like you're paranoid. If you really are, stay in well lit spaces. In germany you can still buy firearms. I mean, he didn't touch you, violate you, or harass you. He tried to strike up a conversation, got shot down, and left you alone. It's a you problem if that makes you feel so insecure. Walking, the only way too converse with someone else is to be walking beside them. How do you converse in opposite directions or intersecting paths? You only can on a parellel path in the same direction.

Again, if you're that paranoid that being told you're pretty and hit on for the first time hits you that hard, work on it, it's a you problem. He doesn't know or care that you had a bad day. He sees a pretty girl going in the same direction as him and thinks he has a shot. Chalking it up to german culture and women doesn't work either as you were approached by a german man.

[razelove]

On a side note, I felt insecure about a lot of things when I was younger, and not too much younger than you. Taking martial arts classes helped. Honestly being in the military helped a lot more, but that's a much larger decision and commitment to make. Try taking some defense courses, feel more confident in your ability to flirt, and if you don't like the direction, disengage. Also if someone actually does try to assault you, it would be better to know how to defend yourself and get away. It seems to be something you're very concerned about, so do something to make it better. I hope I helped some.

[tallandsweet]

I guess you did, but I won’t buy a firearm, yeah, you can, but it’s complicated and unnecessary. Our police is fairly present, if I was ever raped I could immediately find a pharmacy selling Plan B and a police station to report it.
I don’t need a gun to defend myself but taking a martial arts course is a good idea, thanks.

[razelove]

@tallandsweet No problem, regardless of the course you take, I hope the anxiety lessens over time. It's something I wouldn't know about though, women are generally fairly... timid would be the right word I suppose, if they're flirting with me.

[Kaneki05]

So he said your hot but did nothing else like didn't pursue you afterwards?

cause if that the case i see that as overeaction to feel violated. Was it weird sure creepy sure but i wouldn't go as far to say tha's violation or something to make you feel that way.
if the guy back off then that's a good thing.

honestly should just be happy that he wasn't a creep enough to push it like a lot of creeps would.

if someone calls ya hot that's only a good thing unless if they push on it.

i always find it weird hot girls find it creepy to be called hot by a random. A not so hot girl would dream of it.
I don't get why people when called hot cannot be just be like cool and not think anything of it but a complement.

[Yadoighnut]

Yeah, such retards, lets not call any girl hot ever so that they can then be like “why do no guys like me? :(“

Then we can jus point to this post nd be like “that’s why, you brought it upon yourself, I thought this was what you wanted”

[Kaneki05]

@Yadoighnut it was probably just cause he was old and ugly. In any case tho it is not wrong for a guy to call a girl hot longs if he don't push to advancements.
Wouldn't call her a retard at all just more she felt personally attack but what she felt is just what she felt but by fact he didn't do anything wrong.

If she feels like it was wrong that's up to her i wouldn't call her a retard for feeling like that i just will never understand it.
I am not gay but if a guy calls me hot which one ugly gay guy did, i didn't find it creepy at all if he started doing something i would hit and run but he didn't so nothing wrong there.

[tallandsweet]

I really wanted to be cool and just laugh about it and shrug it off. I could't because of how my day went, I was trying to access the "funny responses" part of my brain but couldn't because I was somewhere else entirely.

[AreWeHuman]

The guy was probably unintentionally creepy, obviously he doesn't understand when a woman looks busy or is in a rush you don't approach as that can create a bad impression tbh. Also is weird for a guy to say you're "hot" to a woman just comes off creepy. Also I'd never chase after a woman just to say something like that.

You might've just taken it the wrong way so I wouldn't worry that much just forget him. Yet I wasn't there and don't know how you feel so... I can kind of understand why your creeped out at the same time.

[tallandsweet]

See the video I just attached at the end of the myTake

[wynn-ing]

You are allowed to feel what uou feel, no matter what these comments or anyone says.

Personally, I would've just taken it as a compliment and/or told him I'm uninterested and move on with life. I'd only get defensive and gaurded if he keeps at it.
However.
You've every right to felt weirded out especially since it's never happened before and you don't see it often. Additionally, you got the sense that he was following you and that will obviously just incite paranoia.
Plus, you handled the situation pretty well.
This is fine! I hope you never feel like this again

[tallandsweet]

Thank you. I think it's because of how my day went and that it was the first time someone told me :)

[Randomawkwardness]

Wow, my lessons in german actually came in handy! As for your post, I get it. I was walking my dog once when I was 13 and some guy yelled out 'nice a**'. I felt so disgusting and ashamed of myself that I couldn't wear shorts for months even in our average 100° weather. They weren't even short, the shorts I was wearing were those knee high ones that are almost just half pants. I think he shouldn't have stopped you and said that. Being it night and all, it makes it even less okay. People need to start understanding that it isn't okay to just stop people to say they're attractive, it's really rude and unnecessary. Sure, is it well meaning in some cases? Yes, of course. However, they need to be aware that the other person may not be okay or comfortable with that being said to them.

[ivancho1BG]

I can imagine one of my friends actually saying this to a stranger, and he's completely innocent with no bad intentions, he just doesn't care if the girl hits him or tells him something bad. He'll just try, without giving a damn for whatever happens. So i have to say that yes, if you're a girl, especially alone, it'll be really creepy and I'd be scared for my life, that this man may kidnap me or even worse, but keep in mind that there are people who really have no bad intentions, they just dont care. Im the type of guy that'll offer a hug to a stranger if i see someone crying or being sad, but sure i won't stop strangers telling em that they're attractive. Im more like a girl, i'll give off signs that i like that person, nothing direct. Not an initiator.

[tallandsweet]

Thank you for sharing this, I hadn't thought about it from this angle before.
I wouldn't hit a guy unless he was close to me and said something extremely offensive which, on top of that, isn't true. Oddly specific but I hope you udnerstand what I mean.
Maybe his intentions were pure, nevertheless his approach made me feel exposed and vulnerable but I firmly believe that I will react in a better way the next time something like this happens.

I should have mentioned that everything going through my head at this moment is that I'm not ready to date anyone and that I wanted to tell him that I'm certain he wouldn't want to date me. That has something to do with my very low self-esteem, and that's an issue I have to tackle on my own.

But again, thanks for offering a new, helpful perspective.

[COMMODOREII]

Well I'm from the United States and i thought that was creepy too. I would never follow a girl like that especially in the dark like that. We've had girls sexually assaulted like that at the University I went to and it is not cool. If I ever want to talk a girl and i thought she looked hot i would talk to her in plenty of light and where other people are around. Who knows what she would do to me too. Lol I would never call her hot at first. I might say stuff like i think you are cool, i like your hair, or i love your eyes. After we become friends then maybe after we know each other then I would tell her that when i first saw i thought she was hot or beautiful. Or if she ever doubted it and was talking to me about it then I would be honest with her. But yeah that was too creepy.

[tallandsweet]

Thank you for sharing this, this is one of the few helpful comments made out of currently 53 opinions from men... I can't even thank you enough.
The point really is that I was minding my business and don't want to be approached at all (personal reasons) but especially not in the dark.

[COMMODOREII]

It doesn't really matter what reasons no one should approach anyone like that. You were just lucky. Who knows what could have happened. I'm happy you are still here to read this. If he wanted to say hi he should have done in the light so you can see him and where there was more people. No excuses about it.

[Girther10]

You are being hyper sensitive. Believe it or not, most guys will see this just like @Slim57 said.
Also, the man meant no harm, obviously, so this begins to look like you crave attention. The attention you get from posting this non problem on here.
Get real...

[Girther10]

It seems like you expect guys to be mind readers... newsflash! We aren’t!

[kim45456]

Why do you think it is normal to follow a girl at night?

[Girther10]

Like I said I think you’re being hypersensitive how do you know he was even following you did you try to make a turn or step out of the way and see if he would go past you maybe he was going somewhere and we just happen to be behind you

[KrakenAttackin]

He dared to compliment an attractive girl, he should be killed publicly.

[kim45456]

Stop following a girl at night

[Girther10]

I never said it’s ok to follow anyone at night. Can you even read? You’re just lying...🤬🤬

[Girther10]

@kim45456

[KrakenAttackin]

@kim45456 Maybe he was just walking the same direction? Men cannot constantly worry if they will be perceived by crazy women as "creepy", if we did we would never leave the house.

Women are such contradictions: "I am STRONG"! , "Oh wait, I'm scared"!! "A woman needs a man like a fish needs a bicycle", until things get a teensy-weensy bit hard. Men have learned to ignore pretty much ignore these assertions by women.

[tallandsweet]

@KrakenAttackin Your continuous posting on this myTake is essentially extremely annoying and not thought-provoking enough for it to be justified. Thank you for your time, this discussion is over.

[btbc92]

That's just. That's not respect and you had every right to do what you did. Its sad that guys do not see some women find it creepy and feminism has 0 to do with it. And how he approached that matter was already creepy it doesn't matter what he looked like. Nobody should try to pick anybody up. And no your not being too sensitive. it's called having Intuition. I've dodge 2nd many bullets by sensing the intent of others. From a bully to a gang member, etc. It doesn't matter if you looked hot. I realized that you do not want to be called that because it's code word for saying "I would have sex with you". Be careful where you walk and your surroundings please. You sadly have creeps who travel places just to find women to screw for bed.

[btbc92]

Lust*

dodged so many bullets*

[Minato157]

Back at it with some Christian shit again

[btbc92]

Buddy. It has nothing to do with being Christian. It is real life. And as somebody who has been sexually harassed and basically assaulted at one time, I don't thi k you have room to judge. You already know what living situation your in. And barely is an adult yourself.

[Minato157]

I don’t see anything wrong with my situation really. Yeah my mom is a bit frisky but it’s bothing bad.

[btbc92]

Of course you don't see anything wrong with it. But a mental health specialist would.

[Minato157]

Well luckily I’m not one then 😀

[btbc92]

Asker, not even. It's creepy no matter where you go or live. Where you had that happened you happens more often if not under boardwalks back in the 70s through early 90s and on central park past midnight. Be seriously careful. It's universal common sense and people act like it's not serious. It is.

[Anoniemus]

It sounds like you are too sheltered to me and insecure. I do know that unfortunate events happen (there was a pretty woman who asked the Uber driver who killed her if he was a murderer) but I also know that most men genuinely want to express their interest with no malice. I’m looking at this from an American view though so it isn’t justified.

You said that the behavior is outside the norm. Either the man doesn’t know and is ignorant or he does and that makes him potentially dangerous. Your reaction is warranted in my opinion due to your cultural viewpoint.

[Avicenna]

OK, back in my much younger days in Germany, I regularly chatted up women without a problem (I at least had a nice convo). That said, I would never have approached a woman in a manner even remotely resembling what this guy did, and he almost certainly wasn't someone who had grown up in Germany.

[tallandsweet]

He did grow up in Germany though, I think he was trying a different dating approach more similar to American dating.
I didn't mean to say that he is a bad person for trying this at all, it just didn't feel good for me and I wondered if that was a cultural thing.

[Avicenna]

Well, I suspect it was a combination of your personal preferences on how to be approached and what is normal for German society. I never saw any guy who grew up in Germany doing something like that.

[tallandsweet]

Me neither but he definitely was from there, had a thick Baden-Württemberg accent

[Avicenna]

I can see being annoyed by that!

[throwawaytime]

It doesn't sound that bad. The only reason you were creeped out was because he wasn't your taste or/and you were not in the mood. He didn't attack you or anything...
Im ugly guy and tried meeting girls in public, really no matter what I do or say girls always get creeped out, so I just avoid starting conversations. I dont judge you and you're allowed to feel the way you feel, but I feel a little personally offended here, because this story hits too close from the other side (as someone who try to talk to people with no bad intentions)

[tallandsweet]

I'm sorry for your experiences and to be honest, I find very very few people attractive so it's not as personal as you may think that I rejected his offer to talk.
I was crept out because he seemed like he wanted to have sex with me, which made me feel violated because I'm just not ready for that. But he couldn't know that and I really wish more people understood that I felt sorry for the guy too, and I know my reaction wasn't great... If you read some of the other comments you'll see that I was expecting some type of help with future situations like these because I want to better myself.
Again, I'm sorry this offended you.

[Gatman34]

Guys are too desperate nowadays: no reason to compliment a women no reason quit putting women on pedestals why are men so desperate nowadays it’s pathetic. Just look at the men on Gag 95% of the men on here are desperate creepy losers who put women on pedestals it’s creepy quit giving women validation and quit approaching

[nixon1509]

Unfortunately for straight men the women own the world's supply of fresh pussy.

[tallandsweet]

I think it depends, most guys in my surroundings act appropriately. I can drive around with men alone in a car and feel safe.

[ShebaDiamond]

I mostly don't feel safe around women men seem to be better humans in general though. Yea guys do put a lot of women on a pedestal all most women have is their V and most of the time its prob loose from many men. Lot of women have to respect or dignity anymore but yet think highly of themself. Its repulsive to me.

[Thatsamazing]

Man this isn't about putting pussy on a pedestal. I agree that guys at large need to stop doing that, but this isn't what that is.