From being a boy to becoming a man

[Jjpayne]

I am going to be asking a question to the girls soon, that I thought of today but before I do. I thought I would share my thoughts from a male prospective.

This process is so strange to me.

So you start out life with all the support you need and all the affection you could ever ask for. If you were to ask anyone for a hug they would gladly give it to. If you were to ask for help, they would lead you and even give you money if you needed. To feel the total love and support from a mom or the support and affection from a teacher. To remember those days, I was on top the world. There was almost no one that would not give me a smile and help me. I think this goes for many but this was my personal experience.

Then at some point I went from young man to sir. From being looked at with smiles to being looked at with a serious face to being looked at with a face of fear and uncertainty. I went from being sweetheart to being a potential danger. From being taken care of to being responsible. From being supported to having pressure applied to me. You have many things you can do as an adult but all the support you enjoyed is now gone.

Bouncing back. I remember all the character clothing from when I was kid and all the themed underwear. My mom always used to throw a shirt on me to get me dressed and I did not much care what it was but I know all I wanted to do was get dressed as soon as possible so I could have fun again. It was that time of support.

But when you grow up things change in an interesting way here. You make the choice of the kind of person you want to be. You personalize how you look to the world. It starts out slowly but then you start to develop your own style. For me, I don't remember the change being that radical. Baggy comfortable Jeans and fun comfortable t-shirts. Shoes were kind of big for me and still are. Colors and designs are important :) and going from tightie whities to comfortable breathable boxer briefs. but I would aim to think that girls have a much greater way to show their personalities with their clothes vs men.

Times as a kid were so simple... you just get fun toys. Honestly those meaningless plastic characters were the best! They were just so much fun to play with as a kid. Pure joy upon opening a toy that just looked cool and the fun of trying to open it yourself. There was pure happiness with that. I held on to those action figures as long as it could before I had to throw them into the goodwill box :) but even something as simple as a video game or a vhs tape could have the same joy.

Modern gifts while meaningful and sentimental just lack the fun of those plastic characters. I know this sounds crazy but if I was given a complete huge avengers play set I would totally eat that up. Just having a huge box and just enjoying the packaging. But growing up things change. It's really nice to be able to remember the old times though like getting an easy bake oven and using it cook to something :) or using a lite brite in the dark. There still can be something special about it. But its knowing that clothes are always needed so clothes you get... It is nice on top of clothes to get that special tech gadget or video game you have been wanting to try. and to be fair, clothes could be really fun. But a tie, package of socks or underwear.... those are things you shop for. Special picked out clothes though... can be much more fun like special underwear she picks out. and let's be clear clothes have a much different feel between genders. I just remember dreading clothes and still do :) but I know that really fun thoughtful clothes like a Hawaiian shirt or graphic tee would be pretty fun. So I guess it depends on if you know what makes them happy vs. what is simply practical. and I think that is the main difference of gifts into adulthood, it's less a focus on fun and more a focus on the practical.

That's basically all I can think of in a nutshell per say... but hopefully it gives you an idea of my reply to the question that I will post which will be girl focused. So "guy"s feel free to post your responses to my question here. or which I think will naturally happen anyway :)

[peachyknees]

What a sweet mytake. It made me feel very nostalgic. Childhood was great because we were so impressed by simpler things. Also, everyone was in awe whenever we were saying something smart (long gone are those days hahaha).
By the way, as an adult you can still keep your playful side alive :) If I had enough space, I'd still collect Legos and Hot Wheels. Speaking of - I used to work with children and one of them told me once that being an adult like me is "sooo great" because I get to have my own salary and pick the toys I want bwhahaha :))

[Jjpayne]

My thought is as a present opening up a big Lego or hot wheels set :) that would be so much fun even as an adult to do that. Imagine that big box being pushed over to you. It's honestly fun to open up big presents :) i miss that :(

[Jamie05rhs]

I like LEGO and Hot Wheels toys as well. But I don't collect any of them any more. Because I'm a grown-up with grown-up responsibilities. So now I have a real car that's life-size and that I actually drive. And I don't have time to build toy houses with plastic bricks, because I need to think about buying a real house. (Sorry to be an asshole and spoil your precious moment.)

[KrakenAttackin]

@Jamie05rhs FYI "Lego" is Danish for "Play Well".

[Jamie05rhs]

@KrakenAttackin I am aware. :)

[IAMNathanael]

Great mytake! I remember the times when I was very young. Looking in retrospect, I loved the way every thing seemed so huge because I used to be so small. Now I'm that guy that everyone asks to reach for that thing on the top shelf.

[Jamie05rhs]

Great MyTake. I liked it because it's unique and it expresses a sentiment that a lot of people feel but not many talk about.

I totally agree with what you said about people being afraid of you because you're a man. Though I remember in high school I developed kind of a tough, rough-around-the-edges persona on purpose because I WANTED people to be afraid of me. Not girls, though. Just other guys. I developed a pretty intense "crazy eye" so people wouldn't mess with me. Because you know how high school is. Everyone's looking for someone to push down to make themselves look bigger. . I even fought a few kids, too. But not because I hated them. It was more of an exposition. Don't worry; they were friendly "fights.". And it was consensual; we both wanted to do it.
Anyway, after high school, I guess I could have become more "normal" and civilized. But the circumstances in my life led me to a situation where I was living in kind of a poor neighborhood. So I maintained that "edge" because I didn't want anyone to get any ideas if they saw me walking down the street. Therefore, I never really said "hello" or "how are you" to people that I would run into in the neighborhood.
So I guess, in effect I developed an antisocial personality. Even though I didn't really want to be that way. It's just kind of how things turned out. Later on, after moving to a more middle-class to upper-class neighborhood, I kind of kept the same mannerisms. So people thought I was a hoodlum. Either that or just rude and unfriendly. Also, I had had to throw away my "bougey" way of speaking (because as a child I had been raised with class and a culture of intelligence). So now after moving back into the civilized world, it was hard to regain my previous level of speech proficiency. So I stuttered a lot and stumbled over my words, and the rich people could tell that I didn't belong there. So that actually made me withdraw and not want to get involved in the community at all because I was embarrassed. So then people thought of me as a hermit and that probably made them suspicious. (Like, "who the f is this random guy who always keeps to himself and never talks to anyone?"). Well, now I'm in low-income housing and I absolutely hate it. I try to avoid these people on purpose because they're all trash and I want nothing to do with them. A lot of them are on drugs or engaged in other nefarious activities, so they're not exactly the types that you would want to make friends with.

Sorry if I went on a rant and diverted too far away from your original topic, there, JJ.

[Dongtai]

I think you’re pointing out the difference between growing up and growing old. Sometimes when we transition into adulthood or even our teens, we abandon our childlike essence.

Out childlike essence is that innocence that allows us to truly be ourselves. We’re at our fullest potential as kids but lack the knowledge and life experience to use it. For example take a little boy who sees an adult woman he finds attractive. He’ll pretty much speak his mind and will adjust his behavior based on consequences. Take that same little boy and put him at the same age as the woman and suddenly he’s nervous and hesitant to look at her because he’s lost that childlike innocence.

Most people lose their childlike essence and never learn how to tap back into it. They don’t necessarily lose their interest in those things they enjoyed as a child but they turn their backs on it because they never learned how to nurture and protect that innocence growing up.

We teach our boys not to cry and that it’s ok to laugh when they do. So they never learn how to work through emotions and actually deal and learn from emotional experiences. We just teach them how to hide those emotions which encourages them to run or avoid emotional situations like being rejected by a beautiful woman.

You point out good points in your argument. But for anyone who missed those childlike days remember this. You are still the person you were at age 5. You’re wiser, taller and more experienced but that innocence is still in you. It’s not something you can remove. You just have to find and nurture it.

The trick is to be the child you were back then and use your adult wisdom to guide and protect that child.

[LRSbuilder1]

Everyone grows up different I know I had it rough but people had it rougher my real mom had 6 boys and none of us have the same dad 2 of my brothers dads are brothers I remember the bikers taking turns on her while she watched us she also had 7 miscarriages those guys were the same neither so in the end my grandma and step grandpa raised me and 3 of my brothers I called them mom and dad but my grandmother chose me to beat on like the metal part of a fly swatter till it broke skin my dad loved at protected me but died when I was still a kid just a teen is was bad my brothers had nice things I had rags but today I owns a business and do well wanting a divorce cuz my wife is unfaithful and to me I never cheated ever I am now 34 but have always been cheated on and went to jail a lot for fighting cause could never find and still feel it doesn't exist worse when a girl does it then a man he can wash her off can't wash him out and my youngest boy is not my blood but will always be my son and never want him or any of my other boys to feel the way I do that love dont exist except in fairy tales

[LRSbuilder1]

So if I can go from that to making a 190,000 a year by changing choices anyone can

[theRen]

It's always hard growing up, I'm at that point where all the responsibility is staring me in the face. Screaming at me to do my very best or die trying. It sucks because you gotta carry this weight on your own regardless of how many people help you. As a kid you feel like the "main character" of the world, everyone's got their eyes on you with hope of future greatness that we never even thought about. It always felt like the world was just waiting for us, and now that we're here we don't know what to do with ourselves. Times have changed so much, I've made so many mistakes and missed out of so many things from my poor upbringing both financially and personality/socially. Being a kids fun but I still have hope that adulthood will be way moreso. No matter how long it takes to reach that independence and freedom I desire. I'm 20 years old and I want to be free.

[Meropatrick]

Was so much fun to read. Yeah i am glad i had a great childhood too ( not all kid have that. I have seen kids work all their childhood, begging on the streets )
well that is why we have a story like peterpan a kingdom of childhood were no one grows up. Your remain a child forever full of life an energy, full of life. My childhood was the best time of my life.

but for me i much prefer being a man. (Despite all the shyt that comes along) Being a little boy comes also with people ignoring your opinion (its just a child), not allowed to eat all the chocolate i want (now i buy all the chocolate i want :p, and eat it all) being independent. have a say in my life. I am more treated with respect. I know how to help my self and do shit. I never get beaten up... etc

[Brainsbeforebeauty]

Nice take. And I think everyone goes through that transition from childhood and being taken care of to adulthood and not having that. Some just go through it younger. I pretty much left home at 17. The toys lol the most favorite thing I got for Christmas was a Bionic woman doll. 🙂 And I loved underoos. I had wonderwoman ones and my sister had Batgirl ones.

[Sensmind]

Great take being a guy in my 50s now, my friends/family do look back a lot and the question when was the best time of their lives comes up often - Most go "Early 20s" , I always go "Being a kid under 10, growing up sucks" - Life was so much easier then, i would love not to do adult things like drink, eat too much etc , worry about love etc (okay if I was in an amazing relationship, I might be singing a different song)

[Anonymous]

"I held on to those action figures as long as it could before I had to throw them into the goodwill box "

Sounds like you were a manchild who resisted the actual process of being a grown up.

Whether you lacked a male role model or there is just something fundamentally wrong with you, I couldn't say. But it looks like you were dragged into adulthood against your will, instead of learning to stand on your own two feet and relying on support mechanisms less and less, rather than use them daily until one day they are just gone and you fall on your ass.

[SirRexington]

Dude, I collect action figures to this day! I love em. Really it's the only materialistic thing about me. All else is a state of simplicity and efficiency. I wear clothes are pretty simple though they have some pops of ruggedness and rebellion to them.

[hsshannah96]

I have a tip. Don’t refuse to add someone on Fb
not have a clear reason and have tons of dishonest excuses and then say this:

[Dongtai]

Happened to me too. Don’t trust that people are who they say they are unless they’re completely comfortable with proving it

[Anonymous]

Another question that reminds me that becoming a man is a process but, for girls, becoming a woman or just transitioning into womanhood is automatic. Correct me if I'm wrong, but I believe that's why there has always been a rite of passage for guys only, but never for girls, well at least I am not aware of one having existed.

[KrakenAttackin]

"So you start out life with all the support you need and all the affection you could ever ask for. If you were to ask anyone for a hug they would gladly give it to. If you were to ask for help, they would lead you and even give you money if you needed. To feel the total love and support from a mom or the support and affection from a teacher."

Wow, I had a very, very, different childhood.

[supercutebutt]

Donald Trump never transitioned from boy to man :(

i am a dumb widdle boy

[litty]

People become more serious when they grow up with all sorts of responsibilites, when instead they actually want to relive their childhood (if it was a good one). That would be financial freedom

[Beta_Wolf]

My take on it, we got raised on the "bottle" only to switch later on to a different bottle, only to return to the same type of bottle we started on in the first place

[kymberz]

this a great mytake zebra and very insightful! i will go over and answer on the girl's question!

[jei11]

It's the responsibility that hits me. When I was around 13, I couldn't play with toys anymore without people laughing at me.

[KrakenAttackin]

That's exactly right, and after the laughter stopped a young man is told, "you need to get a job".

[jei11]

@KrakenAttackin pretty much

[Aakash_Hangargi]

You know to pull the crowd nice mytake I still watch pokemon series shhh!!!

[Anonymous]

reminds me of a post from the redpill community, it is "women have value for just being born, men are nothing until they prove themselves and develop themselves"

[John_Doesnt]

To be a man you have to kill something and f*ck something. So take a chick on a hunting date and have sex with the deer after you kill the girl.

[Meropatrick]

Makes a great movie plot😂