I think this is why most men, and women as well, get it mixed up that women like dating douchebags. Personally I don't think it has anything to do with them being an asshole. I think it has to do with the fact that douchebag dudes are confidant, say what they feel without fear, aren't afraid to take chances, don't let rejection harm their self image, protect what is important to them, and really these qualities are all manly as fuck. If only the dreaded "nice guy" could see those qualities instead of the whole "be a dick and women will like you" there would be SO many better men in the world.
You just have to be a man, you don't have to be a dick.
Nice guys DO finish last and that's easy to see with the vast majority of women having submissive fantasies.
Back 30+ years ago when I believed what was being said in this MyTake, I was shocked by this advice given to me by a married friend who was 10 years older than me. He said: "Treat queens like whores and whores like queens."
So, I continued to be the gentleman and all I got was being used by 5 women since then. He was right. And what else did I learn? Women do the same thing and that they don't want gentleman because they aren't direct and take action so quickly. Gentlemen don't come across as dominant as assholes... which is why women get turned on by assholes and make "Fifty Shades of Grey" into best-sellers and hit movies.
I'm not sure it'll work well as taught behavior. It comes very naturally with a certain attitude.
I disagree with the idea that men who degrade women don't get them. Smart men who do it are very manipulative. It's very wrong, but if sex is the only goal it works. It's wrong for that to be the goal in my view. Many evil deeds work. It's wrong to sell/rent people for a living, but you'll make money from such vile trades.
I also feel this would benefit from clarification. When you talk about dating vs courting, you say it'll "get you laid regularly". I feel this might be misinterpreted by those yet to improve as being told how to womanize successfully, which I'm sure is far from you intention.
I thought some of the things you did. I think degrading might be a tactic cults use to start to be able to control the people they target yes? Ofc i was never gonna say this because who would. And yes reading it I started to look at it as more of a game and when I do so my emotions starts to leave. I guess a better way of thinking about it would be to realize it is making you a better person in generally. When I make it about women then women become the outcome/goal which is like a game. I do however think it can work as taught behavior and eventually become unconscious competence.
Used to believe the gentlemen always won the girl. But the reality was I never drew any attention. I was always the friend. I began to notice that men like me, were more likely to end up being the dependable guy who women married later in life after having their fun, and several kids. But why? Seems that while not always true, women are stimulated, more captivated by the risk takers, by the bad boys, even when they are down right dangerous to be around. This seems to a turn on. These men are also likely to be the ones to hurt women, physically and emotionally. Nothing any one says, certainly not the Friend, can stop this from happening. Least not when they are young.
Everything else is fairy tail ideals. When faced with reality, the ideals fall away pretty fast.
So far, I have seen little to change my mind on this.
@LexyIsSexy23 : Lexy very good take and right on. I conciser myself one of the few. Not one of the listed points do I feel I lack, however I could always improve on some qualities. And that is one thing that I will add. A true man will make the self diagnose to adjust to his woman's desires and ever changing needs. Happy wife happy life.
I also do not feel the need to act out of character for profit motive. Meaning I don't do things because I may be reciprocated by a "returned favor".
I do things for a woman because I want to help and provide and that has been instilled in my blood since way before birth. This is the problem of today's broken home culture no man taught these losers of women's hearts how to be a man and how to treat a woman.
The future is in dire need of starting a Rebound Coulter if they heed to this take.. great job Lexi great stuff.
Yes Always, a Gentleman wins the girl and a strong compassionate woman always gets the eye of the man.
It's both very much true. And Human to understand, See how muchever carelessly fun loving, gamble-it-all person you would have been in your youth, at one point you'll likely be bored of all the cool and fun and Vagabondish stuff and fallacies. What you'll want to achieve is stability, excellence and set your stands and priorities accordingly. This'll inturn change your way of treating things and people, change your circles, habits and patience. Everywhere you'll look for security stability and the ability to stand through and prioritize.
What are those if not the core definition of What a Gentleman a compassionate Woman mean. The chivalry, the courtship, the ability to care, to take a stand, to charm and entice, to act calm and steady. Everything sums up.
A gentleman doesn't necessarily always win the girl, when the girl is a kind of girl who choose assholes over gentlemen for some reason. But other than that, I agree with your points. Also: a lady must always walk on the right side, so that she doesn't come in the way of the gentleman's sword (which is on his left side) when someone decides to attack them.
Treat her like a woman not an equal or an object. " a very interesting statement and I agree.
see... I am capable or reading... :)
not so sure about apologetic... that's a dagger not a knife.. All of this is relevant and dangerous... depending. when comes to courting... it is relevant, but gotta be careful not turning into a simp she runs over. Ultimately, it comes down to expressing male power without being lower energy (feminine).
Actually, courting is short-term, but it is a great step toward a good relationship. Courting is small, short term dates, often starts with a group of friends intermingled with the 2 primary people. Dating is more serious and longterm, more intimate between the 2 people, often the segue into a relationship, but it never ends as two primary partners typically will spend intimate time together. And not all relationships involve sex. But the general idea you have laid out is quite impressive and accurate. I enjoyed reading this
It is good take on that topic and any man should at least do his best to get there.
But as you breafely mentioned, women has to fulfill her part too.
Not just expect man to do all of the above and she just be beautiful ( a lot of women don't do even that or religiously follow what is written in women adds magazines) and be there like furniture.
I'm not saying that it is womans fault and that all of them like that, but it seems, that majority in area where I live, want a man to provide, by that they understand buy a house for her, pay all the expenses and give her rest of the money and obviously get nothing in return, except attitude and complaints.
In my time of being involved here and there, the one thing that constantly stands out for me as well as ‘her’, are the simply small things. What strikes me is how a triviality can carry so much weight in a relationship. Gran gestures are nice and all but even me as a man notice the small things and how they affect even me... a simple rub of the back as she walks passed or helping me take my boots off. Ridiculously small stuff but they leave a mark. Gestures need not be purchased, just originate from your heart. Tonight my girlfriend mentioned about burning sage. I said, “that grows wild everywhere here.” It doesn’t were she is at the moment. I told her I would go out and get some for her. I’m doing this because I am wanting to get laid. I do this because I appreciate what she does for me too. I care about her. I love her. So I just want to do this for her because I enjoy seeing her light up. Seeing her smile. Means the world to me... That’s why I do for her. Not to get “lucky”.
What you described is what men should strive for. However, I think that the title should be "A Gentleman is Slightly More Likely to Win the Girl".
There are other factors that a lot of women don't like to admit are important to them, such as money and hight. If you're a man who is both short and broke, all the chivalry in the world may not help you get the girl.
Women do not have a monopoly on shallowness, of course. It's important to remember having any preferences doesn't necessarily make someone a bad person. I just think we all need to be realistic about the way things are.
Don't get me wrong: The underlying message is positive. It's good, and a little bit of that can take a guy far, but not often far enough in my opinion.
You got a thing or two wrong but more or less got it right. One thing to note is that while a lot if not most gals expect what you've said not all of them are worth it. And a lot of people in this day and age will take advantage of people like that (gentlemen)
In my opinion it's better to get to know someone first and actually determine what kind of person they are and if they are worth the investment of that kind of time, effort and money. And if they are then by all means go for it but if they aren't then don't waste your time.
And just FYI a real gentleman treats all people the same and does it because it's merely the right thing to do and not for personal gain.
I'll agree this is true in women worth having a relationship with. Problem is there are very few women that are anymore. And what you wrote useless with them. They're out to get their f*** on plain a simple with whom they want and when they want. And for them it's just like pulling a slot machine handle sometimes you may win but most the time you're going to lose. The solution isn't fixing the men, it's fixing the women. And only they can do that but first they have to own that they're their own problem.
But you said some things and I think they're right. For example:
You also addressed Simping with point number 2.
Sadly, though, I think what this sort of take encourages is guys who fake being good people to get sex. Just like people who pretend to care about community service just to boost their reputation.
Frats are notorious for this. They do 'community service' but are really just after the brownie points to gain social leverage.
It's not that I disagree with being a gentleman, I agree entirely. The problem I often see is that some women seem to imply that if only a man is traditional he'll get any woman, when in reality we live in an age where a great deal of people despise anything traditional and that of traditional gender roles. We also see a rise in embittered feminist women, or simply more entitled women who ask for a lot without giving anything in return. They want to be treated as queens without treating their man as a king.
Whether appreciated or not I encourage all fellow men to be gentlemen, but for a real gentleman to get a woman, it requires the woman to be a real lady. Which is perhaps something that too needs to be emphasized more, alongside being gentlemanly.
Really well done - and I do believe in everything you say. I am far far far from perfect but try hard in the things you noted are attributed to being a gentleman :)
Nice guys still finish last. Mean dudes can get a one night stand out of your girlfriend or wife with out breaking up the marriage or relationship. I personally stopped women from leaving they good guy because they got bored. They didn't realize how crazy it is out here because he provided for her. This is the path. Ok nice gets the girl girl leave nice for trashy excitement guy after being abused girl comes back to nice guy nice guy welcomes her back ( no promises) from the girl. Only true love works with out that Fuck it. Most people don't use emotions and patience anyway. That is why divorce art is high.
i find it really beautiful and hopeful that a young woman like you is saying and thinking that men should be like this. i have been a gentleman my entire life and started dating about 16 years ago and at that time my success with women was great but as time went on i noticed that women liked this chivalrous behavior less and less and right now my natural chivalrous personality seems to make most women angry and tell me things like i am part of the patriarchy ment to keep women in check or they tell me that women don't need a man to protect them, what i did notice is that this seems to be a generation issue, most women around my age are very angry towards the classic chivalrous behavior while older and younger women seem to want men to be chivalrous so i am very happy that a young woman feels like this.😁
"A gentleman always gets the girl" tell that to all the bad boys yes boys for some reason girls go with the guys who treat them like shit and you see the poor guy who treated her nice rejected and heartbroken. Let's be honest the gentlemen does not get the girl the the boy with anger issues does because that's what girls consider to be an alpha (if you believe that stuff) and girls are attracted to status its not guys who treat her right (the gentleman) its the ones she considers high value by female logic
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I agree completely!
I think this is why most men, and women as well, get it mixed up that women like dating douchebags. Personally I don't think it has anything to do with them being an asshole. I think it has to do with the fact that douchebag dudes are confidant, say what they feel without fear, aren't afraid to take chances, don't let rejection harm their self image, protect what is important to them, and really these qualities are all manly as fuck. If only the dreaded "nice guy" could see those qualities instead of the whole "be a dick and women will like you" there would be SO many better men in the world.
You just have to be a man, you don't have to be a dick.
Sadly, this is all bullshit.
Nice guys DO finish last and that's easy to see with the vast majority of women having submissive fantasies.
Back 30+ years ago when I believed what was being said in this MyTake, I was shocked by this advice given to me by a married friend who was 10 years older than me. He said:
"Treat queens like whores and whores like queens."
So, I continued to be the gentleman and all I got was being used by 5 women since then. He was right. And what else did I learn? Women do the same thing and that they don't want gentleman because they aren't direct and take action so quickly. Gentlemen don't come across as dominant as assholes... which is why women get turned on by assholes and make "Fifty Shades of Grey" into best-sellers and hit movies.
NOT ALL WOMEN.
I'm not sure it'll work well as taught behavior. It comes very naturally with a certain attitude.
I disagree with the idea that men who degrade women don't get them. Smart men who do it are very manipulative. It's very wrong, but if sex is the only goal it works. It's wrong for that to be the goal in my view. Many evil deeds work. It's wrong to sell/rent people for a living, but you'll make money from such vile trades.
I also feel this would benefit from clarification. When you talk about dating vs courting, you say it'll "get you laid regularly". I feel this might be misinterpreted by those yet to improve as being told how to womanize successfully, which I'm sure is far from you intention.
Well-written and appreciated.
I thought some of the things you did. I think degrading might be a tactic cults use to start to be able to control the people they target yes? Ofc i was never gonna say this because who would. And yes reading it I started to look at it as more of a game and when I do so my emotions starts to leave. I guess a better way of thinking about it would be to realize it is making you a better person in generally. When I make it about women then women become the outcome/goal which is like a game. I do however think it can work as taught behavior and eventually become unconscious competence.
Used to believe the gentlemen always won the girl. But the reality was I never drew any attention. I was always the friend. I began to notice that men like me, were more likely to end up being the dependable guy who women married later in life after having their fun, and several kids. But why? Seems that while not always true, women are stimulated, more captivated by the risk takers, by the bad boys, even when they are down right dangerous to be around. This seems to a turn on. These men are also likely to be the ones to hurt women, physically and emotionally. Nothing any one says, certainly not the Friend, can stop this from happening. Least not when they are young.
Everything else is fairy tail ideals. When faced with reality, the ideals fall away pretty fast.
So far, I have seen little to change my mind on this.
@LexyIsSexy23 :
Lexy very good take and right on. I conciser myself one of the few. Not one of the listed points do I feel I lack, however I could always improve on some qualities.
And that is one thing that I will add.
A true man will make the self diagnose to adjust to his woman's desires and ever changing needs. Happy wife happy life.
I also do not feel the need to act out of character for profit motive. Meaning I don't do things because I may be reciprocated by a "returned favor".
I do things for a woman because I want to help and provide and that has been instilled in my blood since way before birth. This is the problem of today's broken home culture no man taught these losers of women's hearts how to be a man and how to treat a woman.
The future is in dire need of starting a Rebound Coulter if they heed to this take.. great job Lexi great stuff.
Yes Always, a Gentleman wins the girl and a strong compassionate woman always gets the eye of the man.
It's both very much true. And Human to understand,
See how muchever carelessly fun loving, gamble-it-all person you would have been in your youth, at one point you'll likely be bored of all the cool and fun and Vagabondish stuff and fallacies.
What you'll want to achieve is stability, excellence and set your stands and priorities accordingly.
This'll inturn change your way of treating things and people, change your circles, habits and patience.
Everywhere you'll look for security stability and the ability to stand through and prioritize.
What are those if not the core definition of What a Gentleman a compassionate Woman mean.
The chivalry, the courtship, the ability to care, to take a stand, to charm and entice, to act calm and steady. Everything sums up.
A gentleman doesn't necessarily always win the girl, when the girl is a kind of girl who choose assholes over gentlemen for some reason. But other than that, I agree with your points.
Also: a lady must always walk on the right side, so that she doesn't come in the way of the gentleman's sword (which is on his left side) when someone decides to attack them.
Nice
Treat her like a woman not an equal or an object. " a very interesting statement and I agree.
see... I am capable or reading... :)
not so sure about apologetic... that's a dagger not a knife.. All of this is relevant and dangerous... depending. when comes to courting... it is relevant, but gotta be careful not turning into a simp she runs over. Ultimately, it comes down to expressing male power without being lower energy (feminine).
I'll be curious what other males say.
Actually, courting is short-term, but it is a great step toward a good relationship. Courting is small, short term dates, often starts with a group of friends intermingled with the 2 primary people. Dating is more serious and longterm, more intimate between the 2 people, often the segue into a relationship, but it never ends as two primary partners typically will spend intimate time together. And not all relationships involve sex.
But the general idea you have laid out is quite impressive and accurate. I enjoyed reading this
It is good take on that topic and any man should at least do his best to get there.
But as you breafely mentioned, women has to fulfill her part too.
Not just expect man to do all of the above and she just be beautiful ( a lot of women don't do even that or religiously follow what is written in women adds magazines) and be there like furniture.
I'm not saying that it is womans fault and that all of them like that, but it seems, that majority in area where I live, want a man to provide, by that they understand buy a house for her, pay all the expenses and give her rest of the money and obviously get nothing in return, except attitude and complaints.
In my time of being involved here and there, the one thing that constantly stands out for me as well as ‘her’, are the simply small things. What strikes me is how a triviality can carry so much weight in a relationship. Gran gestures are nice and all but even me as a man notice the small things and how they affect even me... a simple rub of the back as she walks passed or helping me take my boots off. Ridiculously small stuff but they leave a mark. Gestures need not be purchased, just originate from your heart. Tonight my girlfriend mentioned about burning sage. I said, “that grows wild everywhere here.” It doesn’t were she is at the moment. I told her I would go out and get some for her. I’m doing this because I am wanting to get laid. I do this because I appreciate what she does for me too. I care about her. I love her. So I just want to do this for her because I enjoy seeing her light up. Seeing her smile. Means the world to me... That’s why I do for her. Not to get “lucky”.
I am not* doing this because I want to get laid that should have read.
What you described is what men should strive for. However, I think that the title should be "A Gentleman is Slightly More Likely to Win the Girl".
There are other factors that a lot of women don't like to admit are important to them, such as money and hight. If you're a man who is both short and broke, all the chivalry in the world may not help you get the girl.
Women do not have a monopoly on shallowness, of course. It's important to remember having any preferences doesn't necessarily make someone a bad person. I just think we all need to be realistic about the way things are.
Don't get me wrong: The underlying message is positive. It's good, and a little bit of that can take a guy far, but not often far enough in my opinion.
You got a thing or two wrong but more or less got it right. One thing to note is that while a lot if not most gals expect what you've said not all of them are worth it. And a lot of people in this day and age will take advantage of people like that (gentlemen)
In my opinion it's better to get to know someone first and actually determine what kind of person they are and if they are worth the investment of that kind of time, effort and money. And if they are then by all means go for it but if they aren't then don't waste your time.
And just FYI a real gentleman treats all people the same and does it because it's merely the right thing to do and not for personal gain.
I'll agree this is true in women worth having a relationship with. Problem is there are very few women that are anymore. And what you wrote useless with them. They're out to get their f*** on plain a simple with whom they want and when they want. And for them it's just like pulling a slot machine handle sometimes you may win but most the time you're going to lose.
The solution isn't fixing the men, it's fixing the women. And only they can do that but first they have to own that they're their own problem.
Well along came a spider lol
Thanks for reading 🙂 no hidden motivate on this one
I agree it was pretty clear from the tirle alone what you were going for. 😁
Just teasing you
Likewise, i know 90% of your posts are done to antagonize guys. 😜
Never I'm just a joy!
Call me the good girl
Sounds like a full-time job to me. 😂
But you said some things and I think they're right. For example:
You also addressed Simping with point number 2.
Sadly, though, I think what this sort of take encourages is guys who fake being good people to get sex. Just like people who pretend to care about community service just to boost their reputation.
Frats are notorious for this. They do 'community service' but are really just after the brownie points to gain social leverage.
It's not that I disagree with being a gentleman, I agree entirely. The problem I often see is that some women seem to imply that if only a man is traditional he'll get any woman, when in reality we live in an age where a great deal of people despise anything traditional and that of traditional gender roles. We also see a rise in embittered feminist women, or simply more entitled women who ask for a lot without giving anything in return. They want to be treated as queens without treating their man as a king.
Whether appreciated or not I encourage all fellow men to be gentlemen, but for a real gentleman to get a woman, it requires the woman to be a real lady. Which is perhaps something that too needs to be emphasized more, alongside being gentlemanly.
Really well done - and I do believe in everything you say. I am far far far from perfect but try hard in the things you noted are attributed to being a gentleman :)
Thank u
Nice guys still finish last. Mean dudes can get a one night stand out of your girlfriend or wife with out breaking up the marriage or relationship.
I personally stopped women from leaving they good guy because they got bored. They didn't realize how crazy it is out here because he provided for her.
This is the path. Ok nice gets the girl girl leave nice for trashy excitement guy after being abused girl comes back to nice guy nice guy welcomes her back ( no promises) from the girl.
Only true love works with out that Fuck it. Most people don't use emotions and patience anyway. That is why divorce art is high.
i find it really beautiful and hopeful that a young woman like you is saying and thinking that men should be like this. i have been a gentleman my entire life and started dating about 16 years ago and at that time my success with women was great but as time went on i noticed that women liked this chivalrous behavior less and less and right now my natural chivalrous personality seems to make most women angry and tell me things like i am part of the patriarchy ment to keep women in check or they tell me that women don't need a man to protect them, what i did notice is that this seems to be a generation issue, most women around my age are very angry towards the classic chivalrous behavior while older and younger women seem to want men to be chivalrous so i am very happy that a young woman feels like this.😁
"A gentleman always gets the girl" tell that to all the bad boys yes boys for some reason girls go with the guys who treat them like shit and you see the poor guy who treated her nice rejected and heartbroken. Let's be honest the gentlemen does not get the girl the the boy with anger issues does because that's what girls consider to be an alpha (if you believe that stuff) and girls are attracted to status its not guys who treat her right (the gentleman) its the ones she considers high value by female logic