Why Some Guys are Successful With Women and Always Seem to Get What They Want

[Z-Spark]

If you know anything about dating then you know how hard it is to find someone you truly want, someone who has everything you want in a partner. Some guys can't seem to find such a person and settle for less, but others they seem to sleep around with a lot of women, end up with a pretty virgin when they choose to settle down, their woman always cooks for them and overall they seem quite wanted by most women, so why? What makes such guys so attractive and how come they end up with the kind of woman they want?

I will explain it according to what I myself do, what I see other guys doing and how all that affects your chances of getting the women you want (keep in mind not all women are the same, and this is not a 100% accurate dating guide since exceptions exist).

1. Rules

These men do not play by the rules, what do I mean by that? What are rules? These days there are unspoken rules. For example: if you want her, shower her with attention, if you sleep around she gets to sleep around too, if you want her to cook, cook for her too, men and women are equal and what applies to one applies to the other otherwise its double standards, except...

Such men do not care about such rules. If he wants to marry a virgin, he won't settle for a girl who had sex before even if he himself is not a virgin, sounds like an asshole? Double standards? Is he dreaming? Well then how come that same guy ends up with a virgin? I will tell you why. The girl's opinion is irrelevant to him as long as she is not a virgin, if she's a virgin then he starts caring about actually meeting her standards, as long as she is not then he won't give a crap what she has to say about him "breaking" the rules. The moment you ignore the shaming, the "it's double standards" and "she gets to have sex too" you will realize that you have no reason to even care, these women are not your target so why care what they think of your standards?

In short, set your own rules as long as they are realistic enough (asking for a virgin, who plays five instruments, is a straight A student, and a master chef is not realistic so keep it real), this is just one example I am sure not all men want virgins or care about that.

2. Being different

So what do most men do when they like a girl? Shower her with attention and compliments, make life easy for her, try to get close to her and stay "close", does it work? Well for some it does but for most men no not quite. So what do men that actually get women do?

They show enough interest to spark some kind of a reaction and then distance themselves. To some it's natural and normal, to others it's torture "why distance myself if I like her?" For me it's natural to be introverted and aloof. I literally couldn't care less if I had 10 girls around me or just 1 it makes no difference and I have no problem keeping a distance...

Such men, who can speak a reaction and disappear (Not literally just keep their distance) fare well with women, they message her a few times a day, every couple of days til things get more serious and they go on enough dates .... so why does it work? Because it allows women to feel safe that you're not all over them or "viciously" trying to get them. You're cool, laid back, you're not dangerous, you're not clingy, you're socially healthy and "normal" .

3. Money

Okay I am not gonna lie some women just love money and if you have it you will be able to get such women. Of course not all women are like that and some actually have enough self respect to not throw themselves on every guy with a nice car/house even though it can be tempting for some.

4. Being nice

Do you have to be an asshole and super tough to get women? I don't think so. You need to have enough character to be able to say no and basically don't be a pushover. Being nice as in genuinely nice is a good quality. Don't be clingy though, just nice and respectful. Tease her but dont insult her, refuse to do her a favor that you feel is too "big" but do it nicely, kindly tell her you are not into something, no need to yell, hit her or be an asshole but being assertive is a must.

5. Looks

No matter how many women try to deny it looks are the number one reason a guy is actually noticed. The first thing women notice about you is looks. The reason some guys can cold approach and get numbers is because of the way they look and the reason some guys who are aloof and still manage to get a decent amount of attention is also due to looks. Of course most of the time you can't exactly change the way you look, but you can improve it, a sexy hair style, neat facial hair, good style and not too tight clothes (you'll look feminine ) is a good start. Smelling good is important as well.

P.S. keep in mind though, some men get lucky sometimes for no apparent reason. Maybe they have great game or the girl is simply in the mood, while others have a status so high that women are ready to fulfill anything they wish just to keep them around, such guys aren't common but they exist.

[BigJake]

The biggest thing is #1. I was raised in a Southern Christian home and brought with old-school values. My life was rules from my earliest days. When I went away to college with a bunch of city kids it was total culture shock, especially in dating. I learned quickly that there were no rules and that guys who believed in rules (aka chivalry) were seen as hopeless relics who were too uncool to humor.

As far as the other stuff, they're hit and miss. I never thought of myself as a handsome man, but I've had beautiful women throw themselves at me because they found my size and physical being attractive. In other words, women have wildly varying tastes, fortunately for us.

[RJGraveyTrain]

The second one wouldn't work on me. I like forward men who go for what they want, the second a guy shows interest in me and then backs off, I lose interest and back off. The only girls this works on is frankly immature ones if you ask me.

Having standards I get (the first point) but if a guy was a whore and demanded my virginity I'd laugh in his face. It all depends on how conceited and demanding you are about it.

Money? Sure, if you like gold digging whores this works.

Being nice? Well that's a given. A decent girl won't want to be treated like total shit.

Looks. Yup. The hotter you are the more prospective partners you have.

[RJGraveyTrain]

Overall I wouldn't say this is a magical cocktail to being successful with women. It has good points, some obvious some fair, but overall I think any PERSON, regardless of gender can be more desirable by being at their physical peek (whatever that is to them), by being genuine, at least somewhat sociable, and independent in themselves. That's how you attract quality partners in my experience.

[lord_chilled]

Tbh i dont know any guys who can get all the ladies. Different things for different ladies. I. e money for the golddiggers, older, emotionally mature men for the daddy issue chicks, etc...
in my opinion what makes a man generally successful with girls is two things in combination. And they are confidence and persistence ( and i dont mean being an annoying stalker, lol)
You have to be very confident and you can't get down by a rejection. You have to be oersistent in the sense that you keep approaching girls with your natural confidence. Tbh if a girl rejected me, i wouldn't approach another girl the same night. Thats not me. Ill have a drink, do my thing and go home. Maybe next day. There are guys who can approach 10 girls and get shot down 9 times, but they get the 10th girl in the same night.

Its those guys that are successful, because they dont let rejection get to them, keep pursueing, and even have fun with it, and there is gonna be at least one girl into them. So they end up getting theirs at some point

[Anonymous]

I was very shy in my later years at school (18-19). I think i went from being average/plain look to a reasonably good looking guy (7/10 or to some 7.5 apparently). Basically instead of speaking/walking in a nervous way i just decided to not care and have a very reserved/show no emotion face (one girl said to her friends while i walked past... i can't tell if he is good looking or a serial killer). Again I'm not hot... I'm not the top 10% of guys. But I'm good enough to be somewhat interesting to a decent amount of women. Due to shyness (they didn't have a clue lol) i often avoided eye contact with most women. I for the first time had a fair few girls going after to me. They would literaly move to sit near me during study breaks to try and grab my attention.

I'm pretty sure 2 years prior I've become less good looking because my success outside of school hasn't been great... then again i haven't had a chance to get to know any women since leaving... and i put on a stone... who knows. Either way... i could tell you more stories about that year but girls (even some really hot) kept trying to grab my idea and talk to me... maybe not all were ''interested'' but some were clearly by touching their hair and being nervous.

[Opinion Owner]

After writing that i must sound so cocky. honestly I'm probably 6/10 at best now. When i go out I tend to every other time get the odd girl stare/give the I'm interested look. But yeah it is not common... I'm no where near the 8/10 gym rats that get all the girls on tinder. But good enough to be a mysterious guy that girls can't understand why im not speaking to other women/showing interest in them.

[Opinion Owner]

I think those prime years lol have left me... or the change of environment (the real world)... being amongst men aged 20-30 who want the same aged girls... aka more competition has decreased how much girls will show interest. But yeah this whole don't suck up to girls/shout out compliments... it does work... as long as you aren't unattractive... they will just think you are weird.

[Deannybeamswe]

I believe great looks plays a definite role in the process of getting a woman. Then confidence and personality come next.

I'm testament of this fact and I'm not even bitter as a result of it. In fact, I can't possibly blame anyone at all for wanting all the well rounded aspects of a mate. Of course you want a sterling personality and the confidence accompanied with it, but the looks is the icing on the cake. It's also not bad to want all of those things.

I say I'm testament of this because physically I fall behind a lot on the spectrum even though I have a pretty good personality and make people laugh. I also have value to offer a relationship. I'm just aware that my looks means that it's gonna be tougher for me. I'm not ugly, but physically speaking, I'm never a woman's first choice. Again. Not a bad thing and definitely not bitter. I just understand how life works and I don't complain. It won't help. Not ever. So, I just climb mountains, jog, take care of my dog, stay away from drugs, keep with my friends and family and write my way out of the trying times.

:)

[jennyPuss]

lies. some guys get more attention than others and get what they want because they are good at telling lies. they tell women what they want to hear and women are more than happy to believe it. am i alone here in that i don't think looks are a priority? not because i don't care about looks but because i generally don't meet many men that i wouldn't sleep with based only on their looks. guys are worried about being hot but i don't see too many ugly guys. most guys i think are acceptably attractive as long as they groom themselves well.

[fabulouspancakes]

Yeah, being socially well-adjusted, having some money, being nice (in a normal, non-obsequious way), and being good looking are obviously desirable traits. No surprises here. The first point I disagree with though, because most virgin women and women with traditional values want men with the same values. I know because I have friends who are this way. I don't know if their husbands and fiancés were virgins, but they definitely share the same values and did not sleep around and are not cheaters. They would not have accepted less.

[Z-Spark]

sleeping around does not mean you lack values, plenty of men have great values and they know when they meet the woman of their dreams they will settle down and be with her, but until it happens they're going to date girls and have fun and not care, the not caring part is where some guys fail. they care.

[fabulouspancakes]

I didn't say values, I said "traditional values" and "the same values." No, I don't think sleeping around means you lack values, but I'm not a virgin or particularly traditional. I'm saying what virgin women want, not what I or most women want.

[Z-Spark]

i get that but i disagreed because plenty of virgin women with traditional values go for the same type of man that i mentioned, a lot of women say this is wrong and women do not go for these kinds of men especially the virgin ones, but even the virgin ones still choose such guys, so what does that mean? to me personally it means women say something and do something else and whatever these guys are doing is working.

[fabulouspancakes]

Well I haven't seen that personally, so I can't comment. I'm sure it sometimes happens, but in my experience virgin women want someone who is respectful, faithful, family-oriented, usually religious, and willing to wait for marriage or a serious commitment. Not someone who has slept with 50+ women and just decided at 40 they should probably find a nice girl to have a few babies with. Of course if a guy is a multimillionaire or actor-handsome, he can have almost any woman he wants. But how many guys are?
I'm just saying do what you want, but don't complain if you can't get a woman who has different values than you. If it happens, great, but I wouldn't count on it. That's all.

[Anonymous]

HERE IS WHY!
ENTHUSIASM!!!
Well honestly, my ex... I would ask him to lick my cooch because I loved it and saw it in porn videos. He would be so hesitant and insist on a shower. He even told me to shave because he doesn't like hair.
My new boyfriend however eats everything and he even, begs me to lick it. I came back from the gym once, and he licked me right away without ever asking for a shower because he tells me i taste the best... he doesn't care about me shaving and told me that as long as i spread my lips and he can get to the clit that is all that matters
SO show enthusiasm

[Z-Spark]

well the first guy banged you right? yes thats my point

[JustCallMeLeon]

1. Unrealistic expectations. I agree. But why do you imply guys want a virgin or preferca virgin or want a virgin to settle down? What does virginity have to do with this?

2. True. Clingy is not good but so isn't the opposite. Somewhere is between is best.

3. Yes it is helpful to have gold. Women feel safer and happier. Princessier. Who wouldn't like that in the long run? But its not that much important as many thing. In fact its just a minor head start. Unless were talking gold diggers.

4. Being nice but balanced is key.

5. A great headstart as well. Nothing more unless were talking really ugly here.

[levantine99]

cause they are narcissistic dark triad misogynist assholes, who immature women misinterpret as masculine. its al about interests and ego play. its not to admire these boys but to pitty them. good women will appreciate the good guys not the pompous womanizers.

[10dsw]

I'm apparently a narcissistic dark triad haha but not misogynistic =P

It does work... to be honest

[levantine99]

@10dsw if you use women like they do, and are sociopathic enough to be what you described you are definitely misogynistic.

[levantine99]

@10dsw as long as there are girls that never grew to become women, it will always work.

[10dsw]

Who says I use women? As a matter of fact I'd be willing to bet I've been used more than I've ever used anyone.

Moreover, I usually tell girls right off the bat that I am not looking for a relationship - friendship only

[levantine99]

@10dsw... with benefits. lol. and yes there are women using men too.

[10dsw]

Nope. No benefits. I can get that when I want (at this point) so literally just someone to talk to

[levantine99]

@10dsw dont you have male friends to talk to?

[10dsw]

I do but they live far away and I work 6 days a week (I'm a grad student) soo

[levantine99]

@10dsw you sound depressed. all the pussy in the world didn't do you any good. anyway, hope u find peace pal. cheers.

[10dsw]

Da fuck?

Why would I be depressed? I am halfway to finishing my PhD in applied mathematics and have already been offered a job at my local health authority upon graduation. The world is looking great for me.

You sure you aren't projecting?

[FatherJack]

Only around 5 % of men , if that , are consistently successful with women , so no man should beat themselves up. The average man is simply not desired by the average woman , unless he forges himself into an attractive man , which takes applied effort. Females are the desired gender , males are not , Bateman's Principle explains this , this is due to reproductive role , which is far greater in the female. Ironically , I am the parent with majority custody !!

[Z-Spark]

that is kinda true, its true that women are valued more and only a small percent of men is wanted by all women, but i find that average men can get sex if they are there are at the right place on the right time, basically if they catch a girl who wants some fun but no strings attached cause she does not want to date the guy then she will offer sex but won't give anything else , relationship though... probably not

[TheUsername27]

This is very true. Attractive + very attractive men will sleep/get with average girls (especially if they have a good body) just to fuck them. These girls start thinking they are hot etc and that average men aren't good enough. People are often drawn to people who they think are own a similar looks level. when i see very hot women i literally have no interest because i know trying to get them is a waste of time.

[FatherJack]

Why the female downvote ? I was hardly bashing women !!!

[Z-Spark]

@TheUsername27 as someone who gets complimented often by men and women alike (mostly by women though who call me cute, handsome, beautiful... you name it they said it at some point) and i do get looks a lot, i do get attention and talking to girls is easy, girls are open to talking to me, open to my approaches but the moment i try to get anything more than a friendly talk something flips inside their heads and suddenly iam unwanted.

sounds weird right? why would women reject a guy they find attractive who is being genuine and is not boring... i have some ideas and after talking to some women here and there and listening to some opinions it seems that when they see a hot guy they assume he is taken or a player and dont want to feed his ego by sleeping with him/dating him so they end up giving a "i dont like you " vibe, sounds like my confidence level is through the roof right? but its not i simply had enough of these interactions to reach this conclusion.

[Z-Spark]

and how does this relate to what we were saying? i agree with you people date those on their same level ( or at least approach them ) my average to a little above average friends who are not ripped, aren't mysterious or tall get sex, mostly from unattractive girls who invite them over and offer sex out of no where... does it happen to me? no never happened and never will, for one simple reason : they want to date me not sleep with me.

[TheUsername27]

Thanks for the insight. That is odd. I've always heard of hot men getting chased by all ranges of girls etc. You may carry a sense of confidence (a good kind) that may put those average girls off. The guys on love island last season all admitted to sleeping with 300-500 different women each... one admitted he does fuck girls that are as low as 4 and 5... I mean i don't know i'm no where near that level. I get stares from the odd girl... but that could mean anything.

[NJ_Casanova]

Girls are SUCKERS for a guy that KNOWS how to play them. Girls bad choice in men is the reason why Divorce is so high in the USA... and why most women on dating sites are single moms.

[HikerDude]

I agree with a lot of this, especially #1 and #5. I've been on both sides of the fence. My success began when I learned to ignore the rules and start valuing my own opinion above all others. My self-esteem is so high now compared to where it used to be that my old self would call me today a cocky d-bag. Girls, though, respond to me today with about 100x more interest than they did before because I have the balls to be myself and own it.

[Janedoe25]

Girls only respond due to your success. Believe me.

[HikerDude]

@Janedoe25 what do you mean?

[Z-Spark]

@Janedoe25 girls respond to his success and by not valuing the girls opinion he looks successful, if you notice, plenty of guys actually report similar improvements when they stop caring about girls, girls say its all lies and BS, but facts dont lie, some girls literally told my friend they dont want to have sex and then got naked... point is , girls do not know what they want.

[HikerDude]

@Z-Spark truth. I've had girls who told their friends they hated me who ended up having sex with me 2 weeks later. Girls are like politicians. They will tell the public one thing and do another. What it comes down to is that they're embarrassed by their sexual desire. Girls may desire to get dominated by a huge dick attached to a muscular badass, but they won't admit it because they worry about how that will make them look.

[art84]

I think most men know how to get women, they just know how to talk to women and can get them to notice them. It's about being charming and just having that allure that draws women to want to know you more. They are smoothe talkers and know what what to say to women.

[Z-Spark]

they are big time flirts who do not care if they offend a woman or not that seems like a bad thing but in fact it gets them women.

[Jayson101]

yep. All of those it true. Ambitious, unique, wealthy, good looking, charitable, popular, and at the same time rebellious and non conforming (it's too easy to be wealthy and popular if you play by the rules and women seem to like to see men struggle so you have to be non conforming as well to show you aren't a pushover). You basically have to be a God, or seem like a God.

[Bananaman177]

Just gotta be the best dog in the dog show.

Women only care about appearances, pretensions, and materialism.

[Anonymous]

It's usually one or several of these reasons:
1. Because they look good.
2. Because they are rich.
3. Because they are skillful with words.
4. Because they have self-confidence.
5. Because they have luck.

I don't have any of those, that's why I'm still single and a virgin in my late 30s :(

[jdoe80]

well you are not missing much

[Opinion Owner]

@jdoe80 I am missing much, I've seen some really perfect relationships.

[googeee]

sex is not this magical feeling the while turn your world inside down

[Opinion Owner]

@googeee I never said it was. It's not just about sex.

[cutelilPigeon]

I never really like these sorts of things for guys or girls. The guys that almost never are single are guys that are considered conventionally and unconventionally attractive and guys that have social skills.

[Z-Spark]

No offense but thats hardly the case

[cutelilPigeon]

I don't take offense, but what do you mean exactly? this is just my observation feel free to let me know about your own.

[BlueEyesWD]

That may be a direct to me so... I don't chase girls nor am I desperate, I am always on top of my game (wrestling) and I have a lot of confidence to boost. Girls come to me, not the other way around. That's my theory, I don't know how to explain it differently as I am not sure myself... it just happens.

[John_Doesnt]

I completely agree with you. The only 2 reasons a guy can not get laid is because he isn't rich and good looking.
I guarantee this is accurate to within %99.9.

[WalterRadio]

You sound young and inexperienced, like you don't know what you are talking about.

[Z-Spark]

i sound like dont know what iam talking about? go tell that to the hundreds of guys getting exactly what they want from girl doing this

[WalterRadio]

Considering there are are over 3.5 billion guys in the world, and you are dwelling on a few hundred, I stand my my assertion that you don't know what you are talking about.

[Z-Spark]

most statistics are based on a few thousand participants and they seem to work pretty well for scientists so dont pull that the 3.5 billion guys card iam not convinced and neither is anyone else , the hundreds of guys i know live in the same area as me and what they do works on women in my country , i really dont give a crap about yours but the west is almost identical what works in italy will work in america and it has been proven over and over again, if you're 44 and dont know these basic things that i mentioned then you're in no place to give advice

[fueledbythc]

Lol money. If a girl is with you for money as well as other reasons she's trash. Once money is a factor she should be ghosted so fast.

[Z-Spark]

some men just use money to get easy sex from gold diggers then throw them away