"Most" Women Love A Gentleman

[PrincessPie]

So on GAG you often see guys commenting how civility is dead and how feminism killed it etc..

Most Women appreciate these things and this is what you should do for a date..

- Open the door for her.

Most Women love to be treated with respect and like the door being opened for us, Not because we're helpless and can't open the door ourselves but because it shows you're respecting her, believe it or not most women do like this, and will not be rude or offended by you doing this.

-Treat her with Dignity/Care about her needs.

Women in general like to feel special, If you're considerate of her needs and make sure she's happy and comfortable she will appreciate this, look at her body language and check to see if she's doing okay, and she is happy or comfortable with whatever you're both doing.

-Respect her opinions.

Even if you don't agree with her beliefs make sure you don't put them down, you're allowed to have different opinions and not feel the same way about things, but make sure you don't make her feel small or stupid for not feeling the same way as you do on things.

-Offer her your jacket if she's cold.

I love it when guys do this, and know many women who like it as well, most times a guy has ever offered me his jacket i've never actually taken it, but the fact he even offers to give me to begin with is always a sweet nice gesture.

-Buy her flowers.

Not all women like or care for flowers, but it is always a sweet gesture and is certainly not going to do you any harm, most girls i know would like this and would make them feel special and appreciated, so maybe ask her what her favourite flower is to get or if she doesn't like flowers to get her something else as a little small gift.

-Pay on a first date.

This seems to be a very unpopular opinion on GAG but most women i know in person, want the guy to pay for them on a first date at least, if they don't want that then they will offer to spilt with you, but at least offering to pay for them is the gentlemanly thing to do, in every single first date but one i've been on the guy has automatically paid for the date, which i appreciate and think is the chivalrous thing to do.

-Don't expect anything physical.

Being a gentleman means a guy would not be sexually pushy, he will wait until she is comfortable and ready and does not try anything unless she instigates it, not expecting anything until she is ready is important on a date and shows you have respect for her and are a decent guy.

Here is some points for a successful first date with a woman who appreciates these things like myself.

Most Women are NOT crazy feminazis and will like this stuff, So too all the guys that do this stuff, carry on being you because you're amazing and are appreciated <3

Thanks For Browsing :)

[OlderAndWiser]

I was taught to do all of these things when I was in a fraternity in college. Except. . . I don't just pay for the first date; I pay for every date. Not every woman wants a gentleman, but the woman I am interested in wants a gentleman because she is a lady.

Saturday night, I said to my date, "The woman I want knows to wear her pearls on a nice date so she can look like a classy lady and impress a man."

She paused, glanced downwards, and then replied, "I'm wearing pearls tonight."

I responded, "Yes, my dear. You certainly are." And the evening ended with a sweet and tender kiss.

I'll be seeing her again soon!

[Arabian911]

i used to be a gentlemen until my first date told me i'm patronizing her and i'm sexist, in that moment i knew the world has absolutely nothing with the movies or all the damn books i read

[DamnMan]

"I was taught to do all of these things when I was in a fraternity in college. "
That was the first time I've ever heard anything good about a fraternity. Please tell me more.

[OlderAndWiser]

@Arabian911 If your first date had eaten the feminist pablum, I'm sure that is exactly what she said, but I don't think that represents the majority of women. Most of them will let you slide because they have lowered their expectations but I have talked to many YOUNG girls (early 20's) who say that they want a guy to be a gentleman.

[OlderAndWiser]

@DamnMan My "big brother" from my fraternity days is still my best friend, 47 years later. We were taught to treat women like ladies, to stand when they enter the room, to open doors for them, etc. Those rules were strictly enforced in our fraternity house.

My fraternity has many educational resources for active members to learn life skills such as personal financial management, networking, developing career opportunities, etc. Of course fraternities engage in some parties but. . . guess what? Those happen in the dorms also, and kids die from acute alcohol poisoning in the dorms, but it doesn't get reported in the media. I am an adviser to the local chapter of my fraternity and I can guarantee you that no hazing of new members has occurred on my watch.

MORE

[OlderAndWiser]

@DamnMan In the Fall, we sponsored a health and safety seminar for all fraternity and sorority students on campus, and the topics were fire safety and acute alcohol poisoning. We teach boy to become men and we teach them to become leaders. I have assisted the members at the local chapter in finding internships in the law. Other local alumni provide some employment opportunities for the guys. And, last year, the 45 members of the chapter raised $106,000 for local philanthropic causes.

It is an extremely positive experience for almost everyone who is a member, but that does not fit the liberal agenda so, of course, it does not get reported. That is why you have not previously heard these things.

I don't deny that there have been horrible incidents at some fraternities and sororities. Judging ALL Greek organizations on the basis of these incidents would be like judging all young people on the basis of the actions of Dylann Roof.

[Oram52]

Which fraternity and University is this? And how common is it for other fraternities to take the same lead?

[OlderAndWiser]

@Oram52 I will PM my response to you.

[playthefieldx]

Hi there, care to message me? Would like your take on a situation!

[Plumy]

My boyfriend is my ❤️ lovely gentleman and this take reminds me of all the sweet things he does for me, I miss him so much...
Thanks for writing it 🌟

[IamBeautyboy]

I am a gentleman because I love doing anal to girls

[Plumy]

Thank you for the interest in replying me, but it is irrelevant to my opinion ╮(. ❛ ᴗ ❛.)╭

[IamBeautyboy]

I mean if he is gentleman he done anal to you.
But you sound naive so it means he didn't do anal to you so he is not a gentleman.

[Plumy]

He is a gentleman to me, not based on your standards ^^

[IamBeautyboy]

What makes him gentleman for you?

[Plumy]

The reasons explained in this take and other reasons that are private

[IamBeautyboy]

private... You mean vaginal sex? the way he eats your vagina?

[Plumy]

Not meaning sexual reasons

[IamBeautyboy]

I see.
So... did you even sleep with him?

[Plumy]

Topic is not about this...

[IamBeautyboy]

Yes or no? be honest please

[Plumy]

I can't explain it to someone who is fake gentleman to me
https://i.imgur.com/Ah9E9I5l.jpg

[lordhossein]

@IamBeautyboy wow stop that comment bro, its disgusting

[lordhossein]

please report him , i did so he posted that offensive comments few times here and some of the girls were also under age

[Plumy]

@lordhossein thank you for support ❤️
It's really unfair to get attacked without motivation, like so...
I'm reporting him 🈲

[lordhossein]

thanks i am so pissed, what he did makes us look bad. thats why i as a man reported him first. i also made a question about his nonsense, and i am sure if a girl attacks us like that you would be on our side. thanks for reporting this creature.

[JimRSmith]

Well said.

A lot of the guys who whine on here about not being able to get girlfriends would be surprised at the difference that this kind of stuff can make.

[PrincessPie]

I can tell you're a guy who is probably very well manned and knows all these points!
I'm sure your girlfriend feels very lucky to have a guy with these values, and this is why you're not one of the guys sitting behind the screen moaning about why you've never been in a relationship before :)

[NewYear-NewMe]

I know this stuff and do it (with a select amount of girls) and I'm single. Doing all these things will not guarantee you anything at all in dating. I'm not single because girls don't like this stuff, I just admittedly don't put myself out there that many times a year.

[FýrdracaDócincel]

This all seems pretty straightforward and difficult to argue with ((as much of it is either true or entirely subjective based on the woman in question)). But there are two MAJOR problems here, and one smaller problem.

1. "look at her body language and check to see if she's doing okay, and she is happy or comfortable with whatever you're both doing."

At this point, I've given up entertaining this idea that us men have to instinctively know EXACTLY what the slightest hint from you is supposed to mean. I'm willing to try and read things out up to a certain point. But anything past that point is YOUR responsibility to make heard. I've treated girls downright ruthlessly in the past because I misread them at some point and they got pissy about it with me WEEKS after the fact. Spit it out or suck it up. I'm done.

2. "he will wait until she is comfortable and ready and does not try anything unless she instigates it"

It's one thing to wait until she's ready, it's another to be sexually reactive. You can spew as much morality crap as you want, fact of the matter is that most if not all women want the man to be the proactive one. This doesn't necessarily mean doing anything to "force" her or even "pressure" her ((newsflash feminists, they're NOT the same thing)). It could mean simply making your desire known and gradually "turning up the heat" until it naturally reaches the bedroom, little by little getting more passionate and stopping if she gets uncomfortable.

This actually helps guide her out of her shell quicker than if the guy were to simply wait, and helps ensure that, when she does become ready, she's ACTUALLY READY. This is really important because I often see that, in situations where the guy just sat around, the girl is only ready out of a desire to "get it over with" or to avoid losing him ((I guess you could possibly call it a "pressure" ;) )) as opposed to a genuine desire for him.

Now you could possibly argue that even this will make some girls feel rushed. But those tend to be in the same lot as the girls in point 1, so I personally find it very difficult to give consideration to their stance on the matter.

3. "Even if you don't agree with her beliefs make sure you don't put them down, [...] stupid for not feeling the same way as you do on things."

There are opinions and there are facts. If I see logical flaws, I go in for them. I simply cannot be with a woman who lacks a brain.

[Oram52]

""Most" Women Love A Gentleman"
>> I agree, I am all for chivalry and men should act like gentleman. Being a gentleman is becoming outdated tradition. However guys should act like gentleman but what should girls should act like? If guys are gentleman what exactly are girls offering in return equaivalent of men being gentlemen? What is girls equivalent of gentleman?

"-Don't expect anything physical. "
"Being a gentleman means a guy would not be sexually pushy, he will wait until she is comfortable and ready and does not try anything unless she instigates it"

Why wouldn't I expect anything physical? Doesn't make me a less of a gentleman. I agree gentleman should be considerate and wait, but there's a limit I am willing to wait. If she is is not into it then simply move on. That doesn't make me less of a gentleman.

Also what if she was promiscuous? So she was busy hoeing around but now expects a guy to wait? What such guy should simply sit and wait for her command? Don't get me wrong I would never date a promiscuous girl. But point is for such girls it was ok to fuck guys they barely knew yet what now guys should wait?

Sex is vital for relationship, sexual compatibility is important. I completely agree with her being completely comfortable. But if she seems to be using sex as a bargaining chip then its a redflag. Not wanting to continue dating her at this point doesn't make me a less of a gentleman. I would not stay in a relationship where we're not sexually compatible.

Girls don't instigate things, girls don't instigate anything. Guys take the lead. So guy would have to take charge. Which doesn't mean he wouldn't take her feelings into consideration but he would still instigate.

[englisc]

The thing women like yourself don't understand (and I'm not saying this trying to insult you or to be a dick) is that when men say these things it's because of the way women act when they do these things. Many guys try to be chivalrous and to act like a gentleman when they first start dating because it's what we're taught is the way to impress women. But then those women most often lose interest.

Perhaps they're not used to it because they've dated a lot of guys who don't act like that (who tend to be more confident, more likely to approach and ask a girl out on a date), and they find it weird. Perhaps they have that feminist belief that chivalry is degrading and sexist so they don't like it. Perhaps they just find it to be a little too old-fashioned. I don't know. We don't know.

But when you do something over and over again and it doesn't work, well then you're bound to think that it just doesn't work and that they don't really want it. Especially when you see those same girls go for a guy who is the complete opposite.

Women very often confuse guys because they say that they want something but then they go for something completely different. Another example would be those women who want a guy to open up and to be senstive, to express his feelings. They think that guys are silly for being afraid to do so. But they don't understand that the reason guys don't do that is most likely because they already have done in the past, to girls who encouraged them to do so, and then once they did those girls ran away quick as a flash.

It's all good saying that you want these things but actions speak louder than words. When girls do this, as in saying they want something then running when guys give it to them, it's so confusing.

[Obfuscate]

i open the door if i get there first, regardless of gender... if someone arrived at a door and waited for it to be opened for them i would, but it would be very odd... car doors are highly variable, but i tend to just do whatever feels most natural in the situation...

i think everyone should be treated with dignity regardless of gender also, though i don't much like that word respect... if i just met someone, i have no reason to hold them in esteem... respect is a feeling, and telling someone how to feel never works how you think it should...

i do always offer anything warm i have on to a woman spending time with me or in prolonged proximity (if they appear cold)... if they turn me down, i offer again if they look like they are becoming even more uncomfortable...

i pay for every date i schedule, and expect to split the bill if it was their idea...

as for not expecting anything physical, that is kind of like respect... expectations aren't always based entirely on logical thinking... it is easy to have expectations (or a lack there of) based on past experience... having an expectation isn't the same as making a demand... you have no more right to be offended by their expectations than they have to be by a refusal... i think treating people with dignity would mean not trying to force your expectations on others... if people don't behave as other people feel they should (whether that means opening a door or having sex), the other person is always free to not see them again...

[BigGuy8]

I like the meme saying "I want a gentleman, but not a gentle man". I feel this is more accurate. A lot of women tend to walk all over "nice" guys who let them do whatever they want. These are the guys habitually cheated on. These are the guys constantly following their significant other around like a lost puppy. These guys open the door for their woman. They always pick up the tab. They put their coat down over a puddle in the road. They suffer so their woman doesn't have to. They let women degrade them in public and never talk back. They don't ever take them on the couch or in a dark alley. They don't rip her clothes to ravage her on a whim. I've tried the whole "gentleman" thing myself, and found most women, while they appreciate the gestures, do not really respect you for it. So I found the middle ground, where I can be courteous, but still aggressive. You want to take care of her, but not sacrifice your own comfort for it. You want to surprise her with sweeping her off her feet and taking her unexpectedly, while still being romantic. You want to take her out to dinner, but have her for dessert. The sad truth is, many men find being a gentleman can make them look weak or directionless. Like you can only do what your woman wants you to or lets you do. She's always first, you are always last. This is why they say "nice guys finish last". It's mainly the man's fault for taking being "gentle" too far, and the woman's for exploiting it every chance she gets.

[KnightCross]

"- Open the door for her." : if she allows me to walk in front of her, then i would do that for sure, but she is on my side it may happen that she is closer to the door than me so it will not happen

"-Treat her with Dignity/Care about her needs.": of course, but then a constant dialogue is need, that's not an excuse for your shyness and closedness, we don't read women's mind

"-Respect her opinions.": I respect as long as she has some degree of expertise in the subject, otherwise an opinion can be as ignorant and limited for her to open up her mind to new horizons. for example: if she doesn't know Economy and keeps claiming that it's better a socialist economy model than a capitalist one.

"-Offer her your jacket if she's cold.": I will, if she's cold of course, it would be so much annoying to give your jacket to her when she doesn't want that. so girls say what you are feeling

"-Buy her flowers.": Reasonable, but lads don't do that often. do once in a while only

"-Pay on a first date.": maybe the best advice here, lads don't do the same mistake i did in the past (i didn't paid our first date and she never wanted to go out with me again hahaha)

"-Don't expect anything physical. ": we guys have the right to expect it, your shyness should not inhibit a guy to get closer to you. even if it's only a kiss, so be it, do it lads, but for that you need to create the chemistry to make that situation to happen and then she will happily allow you to have a hot make out session

SOURCE: Wisdom of a man who actually got some experiences with girls

[Anonymous]

This is false... to some extent. Here is my story.

When I used to go on dates with women, I used to dress nice, be myself, bring them flowers, pay for the meal, open doors for them, be the perfect gentlemen, etc... However, it never got me anywhere, except being ghosted and losing money in the process.

After I decided to stop being the perfect gentlemen, women would stop ghosting me on the first date. After a while, on first dates, I would make the girl feel good about herself, boost her up, show her my car (a 2016 Mustang, which I pimped out on the inside), talk for a bit in my car and make her feel more comfortable, then I would go in for a kiss, which turned into feeling up, which turned into nipple sucking, which turned into the girl pulling out my cock, which turned into a blow job and then full blown sex. To my surprise, women responded to this better, and they would always text me first and instantly for days to come telling me I was a great lover and the "perfect gentlemen". How am I a gentlemen for basically having sex with you on the first date? Lol.

Fact of the matter is, women "train" men to act a certain way.

[NewEnglandDude]

Sure it's kind and respectful to do these things and I do them all the time on dates. However, I think in today's gynocentric society girls see this as an invitation to kind of walk all over you. Oh he's doing all of this stuff for me, let's see just how far he will be willing to go. The other thing is that dating, at least at the beginning, is sort of a battle for power (not the greatest choice of words, but can't think of anything better right now). If you do all these nice things for girls you're giving them a lot of respect that may or may not be deserved. If you give this respect to women without them earning it I think it makes them see you as beneath them for whatever irrational reason.

Over time, I've learned that girls need to earn a date and earn this respect from me in order for me to give it to them, and I expect respect in return as well, not for her to take advantage of me. The vast majority of women out there are looking to take advantage of men who act like "gentlemen" or at least that's how it would appear. I'd like to find a woman who genuinely enjoys this but she's going to have to earn my trust and respect first. Us men have value too you know, it's not all about the woman.

[Anonymous]

Yeah, we all know women want the best of both worlds but none of the bad shit.
They want "Equality" when it suits them but "Chilvery" because they "deserve special treatment" because vagina.

But sorry it doesn't work that way. Gentlemen treat "LADIES" the way you mention. Feminist and entitled divas are NOT ladies. They are narcissistic children with megalomanic complexes. They feel they are more important than men because they have the one and only thing we need from them. So they expect subserviency through the potential promise of pussy as a reward for good behavior.

I will open a door for anyone except an entitled young female.
I refuse to pay for a "first date" because too many C words use first dates as a way of scamming idiot males into giving them free food.
You get gifts and other financial things when I get pussy, otherwise, I will simply go to a hooker and give her the money directly and get the one thing you are using as a tool for free shit. But with a hooker, there is no bullshit lies or false promise.

If you want us to not "expect anything physical."... then don't you dare expect anything financial or emotional. It's tit for tat. It's not a one-way street. Your entitlement is bullshit. You don't get to dictate 100% of the deal.

[CarpetDenim]

I agree with pretty much all of this, except for the expectation that the man should pay. That's always bothered me, but not because of the "What the fuck? I'm an independent woman and I can pay for myself!!!" bullshit, but because I've always felt it's very unfair to the man. I personally just wouldn't feel comfortable with him spending his own money on me, especially on a first date when he might not even know me. You shouldn't be expected to pick up the tab for someone who is essentially a stranger to you.

[Jaximus-Lion]

See being a gentleman is not a thing you do JUST for the ladies, it's a life style, if it's about wearing a suit and open doors well guess i am a gentleman since i was 12 years old, but that is not all. I don't judge people , i do help even when they don't ask for help and i never expect anything in return, not even money. I don't brag about it, i do it for my self that's what people don't get, i do it for my self, the though of I HELPED it's not that people can see but it's for me that i helped. Once a gentleman always a gentleman, i am not one to impress people. Many women don't like a gentleman and i have no idea why but i don't complain about it either, people are different from person to person and am not the one to judge, i am a gentleman and i married a fine lady still a gentleman as she still the fine lady.

[Giacomanzo]

All the things you listed are not "being a gentlemen", are being a normal human being and you shouldn't do it to only women you like, or only to women in general. And not only if you are a man, I add.

Have you ever offered something to drink to a friend of yours? Have you ever opened the door to anyone to let him or her enter? Have you ever gifted something to someone just because you felt like it?

If the answer to ANY of these questions is no, you are a terrible, goal-oriented (not in the good way) person. Doesn't matter if you are a man or a woman.

[HelloEH]

I agree and I love it, this beautiful gentleman treats you well especially if it's the kind of want to be in charge.
BUT, girls, be kind and show him that you feel really pampered, not only after his money (yes, how many women I know with this bad attitude...)

[NewYear-NewMe]

OMG a girl finally said it. Girls have never shown me anything. I've not been accepted by a girl yet.

[Anonymous]

I do this stuff - the women I've dated never really seemed to notice or care. The women around here barely say "thank you." Especially around my age.

I actually was stunned when I held the door for an older woman and she said "thank you."

And none of that has ever impressed a woman, not that that's the reason I do this stuff. None of the "He's the kind of guy who would take care of you if you were sick" type comments some girls make to others has ever kept a woman around, or made a woman want to date me, or even spend much time around me at all. Giving genuine compliments about some cool design or a cool outfit has ever really gotten me anywhere; other than I'm seen as a creep who's obviously only interested in "bumping uglies."

[Guanfei]

Do everything for her and expect nothing in return because she'll treat you as the "nice guy", aka free meals and gifts.
Being a gentleman isn't treating every woman like a princess. That is not being a gentleman, that's being a milk cow.
Being a gentleman is treating nicely women who deserve it. Not every spoiled brat thinking they're entitled to get free stuff because they have a vagina.

[PrincessPie]

Of course, these guys should obviously only treat women who show themselves to be worthy this way, sure.

[NewEnglandDude]

This^^. They have to prove it to you that they're not one of those people first. Trust is HUGE and it's borderline impossible to find nowadays

[Unit1]

"-Pay on a first date."

This is *exactly* why I have been single my entire life until even today. Because I could not (financially) afford it I did not even bother.
No surprise.
So I'm not a gentleman.

But at least now my money problem is not so severe anymore. Phew.

[PrincessPie]

Unit, if i really liked a guy and he couldn't afford a date i'd pay for it, honestly its more the principle for me the fact they would.. so i can't be the only women who feels this way.

[Unit1]

As much as I admire this, I would really prefer dates, that cost almost nothing (public transport not included in costs) and are more about having quality time together.

I just believe, that those restaurant dinner dates are appropriate at the time as soon as a relationship has been declared as official (this is around the time when couples are starting to have sex (that is if both parties want to have sex)). Kind of like the icing of relationships.

[PrincessPie]

I have been on dates which cost nothing as well, its completely fine :), its about the persons behaviour and how they treat you just as much as anything else.

[Unit1]

"its about the persons behaviour and how they treat you just as much as anything else."
I do agree.

"if i really liked a guy and he couldn't afford a date i'd pay for it, honestly its more the principle for me the fact they would.. so i can't be the only women who feels this way."

You left me seriously thinking there for a few minutes.
Because I do not know how to feel about it.
For one it's a big relief, that there are women like you out there.
But then I try to remember how many women (really) liked me and I am left in complete shock, that there were almost no instances in the past.
I only remember one time in my second grade, where a girl in my class told me, that she likes me but that's where it was left to be.
And recently my new landlord, who is a 62 year old lady on her pension told me, that she likes me. And when I told her, that I never had a girlfriend, she said, that she is shocked and doesn't even believe me when I say so.

I mean I am really so confused right now. :/

[Unit1]

Here's a hug for you because you're a nice princess 🤗
https://i.imgur.com/CX4J1cu.png

[BruceJender]

I disagree with this, almost entirely.

These are almost all traits a typical "nice guy" would have.

I'm not saying you shouldn't treat her with respect, etc... but what *most* women want is a man with drive and ambition - a man who is CENTERED.

[PrincessPie]

Sure, everyone isn't attracted to the same thing, but i know me and many other women... find these things very attracted.

[NYCQuestions1976]

LOL @ the name "Bruce Jender". Best. Name. Ever.

[BruceJender]

And I thought most girls “don’t know what they want” anyway?

[NYCQuestions1976]

Money. One way or another, money.

[torken]

I mean, for sure these are good things to do.

I'm interested, in for the sake of equality, are there any expectations guys can have? I think it is fair for girls to have expectations of us if we can have some of them, but I'm not sure what is fair to expect.

Honestly asking.

[RedRobin]

Yes, these things are very true. I just hate it when guys complain about woman wanting equal rights and wanting to be treated like this. Equality = being treated with respect and not being told you can't do something just because you have better boobs than men. (I don't mean to be all feminist or anything.)

[SinghSong]

Including being respected as an equal who's perfectly capable of paying for her own expenses on a date, opening the door for herself, or wearing sensible clothes warm enough to deal with the cold, as opposed to being treated like she's incapable of doing those things herself, or taking responsibility for her failures to do these things for herself, solely because she has bigger boobs? Or is that something completely different? You demand all of the privileges, while refusing to accept any of the responsibilities, and then you wonder why you don't get respected for throwing tantrums about it like spoiled little brats?