The misfortune of having paranoia and how it affects daily life even in little ways

Anonymous

Okay, so there are obviously different levels of paranoia and anyone should know that of course, there are also types of paranoia that are triggered by different situations which therefore changes the frequency of a paranoid thought track.

P.S: The music is not linked to the subject, I am just including what I am listening to at the moment.

I myself have what I consider a medium level paranoia, like, considered concerning to others but not at a level that requires medical consultation.

I get paranoid over many things, one of the many causes are likely because I over-analyse EVERYTHING, while others would simply think of a small thing and then move on, I will analyse it till I start thinking of worrying thoughts, which then leads to panicking about the possibilities of those situations being truth.

The misfortune of having paranoia and how it affects daily life even in little ways

Who made the alphabet and why they chose the shapes they have

Yeah, I know this shouldn't be something to worry about, but I get stressed about not knowing who or why someone made the alphabet in these shapes and then decided on pronouncing them in this way, kinda silly isn't it?

I know it is something I shouldn't be paranoid about, but I get really uncomfortable thinking about what the person was like and yeah.

Amnesia

If I actually am re-living a memory from my past while being in a hospital ward, or if humanity in the future has gone into so much shit that we had to inject ourselves with false realities to avoid seeing the horrible reality around us.

This GIF is actually from the anime Amnesia, just to provide a related image.

Just even writing about this worry makes me even more paranoid, it is likely the strongest fear I have, of self existence and of Amnesia, about whether what I am currently seeing is real or a made up existence or memory from when I was young and am now completely unable to remember who I actually am. Amnesia is a truly scary thought in my opinion, the idea of forgetting who you are and forgetting those around you daily feels too scary and truly does cause a lot of paranoid feelings for me and insecurity.

The misfortune of having paranoia and how it affects daily life even in little ways

Nails

How they grow since they are made of hair and if you grew nails out of your head since you also grow hair out of your other parts of your body and how terrifying it would look.

Cameras on phones, laptops, tablets and fearing the government can see me

so I always cover the camera lens but still panic if they can see me through the screen.

The dark

paranoid about things you can't see properly see through makes perfect sense, though recently I am not afraid of it just cautious.

Colours

who decided what colours are what and how did everyone agree when you can't see what others are seeing? The ones who call it something else are called colour blind but how do you know what they are seeing and how do you get to decide the name of a colour?

The misfortune of having paranoia and how it affects daily life even in little ways

Terms and conditions on websites

I get paranoid about any possible loopholes in the written document.

Glitches

I get worried that someone has hacked into my computer and is damaging my device information even from a simple game glitch or website shutdown.

Conversations, I very often get paranoid about what i have said to others and what they are thinking.

Society, EVERY SINGLE PERSON that I go past, I think about if they are plotting something against me, if they think ill of me, if they want to kill me. It is the worst when I go into town because there are so many people I don't know and people will often be following you just because they are going to the same store but it makes you paranoid.

Voice, I get paranoid about how I sound because it was explained that people never hear what their own voice sounds like unless they record it then listen to the recording, so I get worried about how I sound when talking to others.

Strength, I am often paranoid about if I am hurting someone when in physical contact, I try to be reserved when interacting but I am worried I may be hurting someone, this is the result of when I used to play with my sister and as we grew older I was still in my mind "Play fighting" but turned out apparently I was more muscular then and now my play fighting is too dangerous. It is fine when I play with guys, we like rough housing, but with girls I am paranoid with physical interaction and what level would cause pain.

FURBIES

The misfortune of having paranoia and how it affects daily life even in little ways

Okay, so I grew up having Furbies, I can tell you that they were fun at first but what made them scary was when you got older and when the batteries start to die and they start talking at night and also a SERIOUSLY SCARY moment in my life was when I resorted to taking the batteries OUT of the Furby and it continued to talk. We have them in the attic and once a couple years ago we heard one of them go off randomly up there and start talking, it was HORRIBLE.

Furbies are essentially toys that should never have been made...

I could not possibly include all my paranoia subjects, I can simply say that anything I come across I will overthink it till I become worried over something related to it.

I know a lot of people who have said things like this in the past

"That isn't paranoia, you have to be mentally unstable to be paranoid"

"If you were paranoid, you wouldn't be able to talk about it"

"This is just a piss take of paranoia"

"I have paranoia, all you have is a bit of insecurity"

But listen, I explained that Paranoia has different levels, you have severe paranoia, average and mild, you also have different types of paranoia, so don't tell me about what my insecurities are, I know how I feel and I know what they come under.

And yes, insecurity is a big attribute towards paranoia, in fact anxiety can lead to paranoia, sources say that the reason for having paranoia now is likely due to a number of times in your life that caused you anxiety and insecurity, I can think of a large number of moments in my life that were like that and would make sense to cause this now.

But just because I have paranoia, does not mean I cannot be comfortable with people, my paranoia is focused on specific things as opposed to the whole world, so I can be chill with certain situations and laid back, but I can also be internally screaming in other moments where I am trying to act casual because I don't want to cause a scene, this could be like if I went into town with more than one person.

So now that you know about that, I just wanted to let off some steam, I felt like it would be less stressing if I shared it on my profile instead of having everyone who follows me think I am confident all the time, the truth is that I am confident on the outside but am doubting EVERY SINGLE THING that I encounter on a daily basis.

The misfortune of having paranoia and how it affects daily life even in little ways
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