Girls, I hate being considered attractive by girls, even though I am a straight man.

[Anonymous]

I was once an overweight and, frankly rather shitty person. An arrogant guy who thought I was the hot shit as a 12-13 year old. I used to think I could just pull girls by being a jerk as many guys often do. Various things, like losing family members, and the fact that everyone hated me has made me change a lot in the past decade since then. I lost weight too and, apparently, became much better looking.

My reward, people like me a lot more and I've gotten a lot more positive attention from girls, including some who used to hate me as a child.

Here's the weird part. The more girls in particular like me, the more I hate me. I hate being rewarded by life for my self-improvement.

The girls I used to crush on who hated me, well, some have actually expressed some interest since then, and I hate myself for it. I should clarify, I don't hate or resent them. It's simply that I no longer want what I couldn't have before now that I can actually get it.

This is a childhood behaviour of mine too. Once, my parents got me a new game, but I had to do my chores first. I was stubborn for an hour or so, but I eventually did them. After that, though, you would expect me to be happy and play the game. Nope. I was furious with myself and refused to play the game. I instead gave myself a punishment that my parents might have given me, like being confined to my room (most of my toys and games were in a separate play room). My parents were very confused.

I do things like this a lot. Now that I'm actually considered likeable, I don't want anyone to like me.

I will never understand myself.

[bakajana]

Well this is somewhat complicated.
I just had a friend in middle school that was so popular among girls and all liked him. I was his friend and once he told me he was tired of all those girls being fond of him and asked me please to just be his friend and not like me that way. But your situation seems different so I don't know what you should do actually

[Blueberrycupcake]

ok i kind of get it. you don't want someone who likes you now but wouldn't have liked you when you were well, not all that. because somehow you are afraid that you may go back to being what you were before physically and mentally and then they wouldn't want you anymore. , aybe you should try finding someone with similar experiances , someone who had to work on themselves too