Almost all of us have encountered someone with emotional baggage. Today, I am talking about guys with emotional baggage.
There baggage can come from anything. Ex-girlfriends, ex-wives, children, jobs, etc. Sometimes, there is more than one reason.Guys with emotional baggage are nothing but TROUBLE!
When you start hanging out with them, they are extremely sweet. They have their charms on, and you start believing that this guy can be 'the one'. I mean, a guy with whom you are totally compatible, a guy with whom you share so many interests, a guy who can listen to you ranting at 3 AM can be nothing less than perfection.
He is the epitome of patience, charm, kindness, care and helpfulness. Soon enough, you find yourself falling for him. But as soon as you both start getting a little close, the insecurities, fears and baggage of the guy surface. He begins distancing himself, turns moody and sometimes insult you as well. You wonder what happened to the guy who used to be so damn sweet.
As soon as guys with emotional baggage find you threatening, they will step back. They would rather wallow in self pity, cry over the past and just do drugs and alcohol instead of facing their problems.
We, girls, think that we did something wrong that the guy is behaving so distant. We think that we can FIX them. No, dearies! It's the classic case of: It's not YOU, it's HIM. Leave him!
The guy who used to be caring and helpful would now become mean and selfish. He won't think twice before dropping you like a hot potato. To be honest, many of these guys are narcissist.
Unless he doesn't have the motivation to bring his life on track, his life is only gonna ruin and that's all. Would you like to spend your entire life with someone who is not willing to face his problems? Who is not willing to improve himself? This guy is nothing but pessimist. Initially, the relationship might be like a fairytale, but soon enough, you will start feeling insecure and not good enough due to the way these guys would treat you. No matter how much love and care you give to them, you will never be able to be good enough for them. They don't want to accept anyone good in their life. You will end up crying over them but they won't care a bit. Toxic guys attract toxic girls.
Life is one. You deserve a happy life. Don't end up with a guy like him, hoping that you can change him. You are not his therapist. You need a guy who is at a equal mental level. Who is strong enough to face his problems and accept happiness. Who is not a pussy and run away as soon as you take a step forward.
Better stay away from dealing with someone's emotional baggage when they are not willing to fix themselves!
Most Helpful Opinions
Thank you, I think I needed this. I used to be very into a guy who had (has) a lot of baggage. He was cheated on by his ex, a girl he could see himself marrying, and it hit him hard. I can't blame him, but he never got himself out of that hole. It's been years since it happened, and he still acts like it happened yesterday. Still says he can't see a future with anyone. Still only wants casual relationships (hookups) with girls. No commitment, no responsibility, nothing. Says he's too broken for anything. And I get that some people move on more slowly than others, but he really acts like he'll never be capable of loving anyone ever again. It's simply not something I can wrap my head around, since it comes off as a bit too melodramatic for me. At first I sympathized a lot with him. But now, as the years have gone by, I have started thinking "seriously dude, just move the fuck on already" more and more. A part of me feels horrible for it, but another part of me feels like he's simply not doing anything at all to get out of the hole.
Like you said, he started off like the perfect guy. But obviously, too perfect to be real. Soon enough, he started showing his true colors. He acted distant, made me do all the work, didn't bother to follow through with some plans (or even notify me that he couldn't be bothered or didn't have the time) and so on. I kept making up excuses for his behavior, his past being used as an excuse maaany times. But now I'm done making up excuses and accepting his behavior. I need to find a guy who's emotionally available.