Is my boyfriend lying? Adding ex crush on favebook? (Guys and girls)?

Hi there,

So my guy and I are both 24. Been together for a year and a half. In our first months if dating he told me about his exes and old crushes even dating back to middle school; including the one right before he met me. He showed me pics etc, and I did the same.

I somehow got super insecure about the one tjay came right before me because he met her the summer before he met me.. They both have a military background and from same country of origin. He said it was just a crush and nothing happened.. Half a year later she commented on something on his Facebook and I made a snarky comment, he told me "I actually messaged her today" which made me more paranoid but I tried to be calm since he was open about it and even showed me the few messages they sent saying thays all that he was gonna reply to her.. Just "wanted to catch up" or soemrhing..

But the green monster kept coming and as I asked more later on I came to find out he acrually met her about a month before he met me and didn't come back from his training where he met her till a week before which means he must've still liked her a little when hevmet me and asked me out etc... Although he says by the time we went on an actual date he was over her, and tjay if he liked her at all when he met me; it was already fading for him...

I also found out that he didn't actually add her on Facebook till December, and we met in August... He said he didn't add her in July (when he added most of his training mates) because he didn't wanna seem creepy... And that when he did in December even tho they had no mutual friends, that he didn't think much of it cuz he didn't like her anymore.. That to him it was just an acquaintance, happened to think of her, added her and that's it...

As far as I know they're only contact after that was the messages he showed me..

Should I be worried? He seems to have been open about it when I ask but what do you guys think?
  • Should I be worried
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  • Yes
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  • No
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So do you guys think someone can add an ex crush without still liking them?

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17

Most Helpful Guy

  • Don't worry because he's very open about it. The key thing to remember is at the end of the day, he's coming home to you. If he really wanted to be with her, why would he have asked you out? More importantly, if he did find out about how she feels about him, why didn't he just break up with you already. He's still with you, and your boyfriend sounds like a guy who won't lie to you. So, stop worrying and stand by your man.

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    • Thanks! And true I guess i worried cuz she's in a different country (from where he was born) and I thought of if she was here he'd leave me for her even tho he said he wants me and that it's not for convenience since we live 2 hours away anyway.. But true! Thank you!

Most Helpful Girl

  • Not really worried, but it's upsetting. He wouldn't want you talking to a guy you liked and almost got with just before him, so i don't see how he expects you to be all smiles about it. Personally, id have shut it down from the start and he would of had no more contact with her, but I'm probably the jealous type i guess.
    Either way, he wouldn't like you doing the same thing the other way round.

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    • Thanks! And true! I did get upset about the message but thought hey he told me about it... Recently he asked me if I wanted him to delete her but I realized what I really wanted was to understand why he added her in the first place even tho he says he basically didn't think about it much sigh! :(

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What Guys Said 6

  • I am also the jealous type. I think when u r in a committed relationship, u should have no friends of the oppoaite sex (especially ones who you had chemistry with in the past). I think u have every right to be jealous, and i would too if i were in your shoes.

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    • Thanks for your response! And true I think that's why it bothered me because there was soemrhing there before even if it was just a crush, but he insists he is over it and that it wasn't even a big one :( sigh the stuff struggle to want to get over him adding her because they don't acrually talk or anything but also feeling sad he wanted to add her in the first place.. You know?

    • Yeah, he wouldn't add her on fb after not talking to her for idek how long for literally no reason, if he was over her.

  • I think you don't need to worried for now. Apparently he's being honest with you, showing the things he does with her. So, I think that there's nothing to worry about now. However, keep watching this thing, only for prevention. We can never be sure if he's doing this only to make it seem less suspicious...

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  • While I personally wouldn't add her if I were in a relationship in order to keep ( the green monster ) problems of this nature out of our life some don't see that it could or would become a problem. If he has been up front with you then I think he may be telling you the truth and she is just a friend only.

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    • Thank you! And true... He said looking back maybe he should've told me but tjay he just didn't think of the whole situation much because she didn't mean anything to him and it was just like adding anyone else... Sigh :(

    • Hopefully it just a platonic friendship , I'm sure your a smart girl ; just don't be blind sided for your trust.

  • Adding someone as a friend on something like Facebook means absolutely nothing. You're over-thinking this one.

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  • It's all up to whether you trust your man or not but In my opinion I think he's hiding something

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    • Do you think tjay because he added her? Or other reasons?

    • Multiple reasons really , but mainly because if he works away than he would want a bit on the side. Sorry to put it that way

  • Insecurity is unattractive.

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What Girls Said 0

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