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i have noticed this trend and i don´t see anything bad in it. i mean you don´t want to be ordered to the kitchen and we don´t want to be expected to ask out first or propose. seems like a fair deal to me.
So, you would not mind a woman proposing to you? You would not feel she stole your thunder? It wouldn't tug at you male ego, a little?
i would like that to happen. i would be flattered and proud of myself, that a person likes me so much that they want to spend the rest of their life with me. not the slightest problem for me there :)
No, I mean if she gets down on one knee, in front of your friend's & family and proposes to you with a ring. Would you be ok with that, would that tug at your male ego? It's happening:jaguda.com/2014/07/28/proposing-future-husband/
that´s what i was refering to with my last comment :D
LOL!!! I value your honesty, Thanks!!!
but don´t get me wrong i don´t refuse to do it myself. i just don´t want to be expected to.
Funny!
treasure.diylol.com/.../...offee-bitter-bde552.jpg
I thought it was gon say: ''I like my woman like I like my coffee... BLACK''... [=
Mmmmm.. I luv me some ebony honeys~!
Well you can't have your cake and eat it too. You want all the benefits of being a man and none of the negatives; yet still want to bask in the benefits of being a woman as well. It just doesn't work that way.
I'm clueless to the fact why would equality in the work place affect your personal life & the way you treat women whom your dating to potentially be your spouse. That's got to be a turn off to any woman. You don't want to pay for dinner or you make a fuss about it, because some women make more money than some men? How does that even affect you in your personal life?
it's more than just about paying for dinner, which is really not a big deal. Its things like women's only gym times (public spaces).
Really female only gym times bother you? Have you ever wondered why a gym would ever have to consider it? At my job we have a small gym for employees, no one really used it only (1 treadmill, bike, elliptical & weights), so I began using it to do home dvds. Once word got out that I was using the gym , male co-workers began showing up, just to sit in the gym in full uniform to watch me workout. This happened to me & several other female officers after I stopped using it. If some men weren't blatant creeps, standards such as "women only" wouldn't need to apply. Just for the record, I'm Not A Oversensitive Female, I'm a Correctional Officer. I'm around murders & rapists all day, but can't trust my own male cowowkers while at the gym.
Excuse me. Correctional officer. Just because some men decide to gawk at you it doesn't give you the right to group all of us in the same category. Funny how some women do the exact same thing yet men don't cry and whine about it like women do. If you have a problem deal with it.
But because of women like you and overly sensitive men, I have been banned from going to a publicly funded gym simply because I am a male. I have never sat there and gawked at women, nor do I care to after reading how much some women (such as yourself) cry like a little baby. Shoot they're just looking at you, quit whining like a baby about it.
If a group of women were gawking at me I'd be flattered and wouldn't spend time crying about it on online forums. It would make me feel good that the way I look is attractive to the other gender. You're biggest concern should be when men stop looking at you and not when they stare.
See it's people like you who are the problem! Why do you believe it is acceptable for anyone, male or female, to be gawked at? I guess you didn't get enough attention as a child, so any attention is good attention to you. With the vibe you're giving off, you're probably one of the gawkers lol! What's really said is you know the behavior of some men and aren't bothered by it, you do not even consider how your actions affect others who how you behavior will be perceived by others. It's sad & pathetic.
You obviously didn't read my response did you. I go to the gym to work out not to stare at women. In fact the opposite is true. But guess what I don't care cause I'm too focused on the work out.
Heck some guys check me out while I'm butt naked in the changeroom. I deal with it, and go on ranting about rights.
Life is unfair. Count your blessings. Having to go Dutch isn't that big of a deal. I don't care about the cost if dinner. I don't mind paying for it. It's really not that big of a deal.
THIS IS A POST ON GAG.
Curious to see if you'll automatically respond to it with the "I'm clueless as to" or "I don't mind paying and going dutch" notes that you've copied and pasted in response to so many others. :)
Just because someone has a penis doesn't mean they should be forced in a standard of lifestyle. Same goes for women.
Why stop people from growing into the type of person they want to grow into? Why force a set of social rules for men and women just because the way they were born?
Let people grow up to be who they want. Trying to induce gender roles onto people makes it harder for everyone to be themselves.
I wish people would get the idea of gender roles out of their heads. It's 2015 people, come on now.
Why do you feel this way?
1. There's no such thing as gender roles because that's only an expectation
2. I see nothing wrong with what the men of today's society is doing. Women asked for equal rights and this is it. I want a woman to ask me out. Pay for my food , give me a compliment. Text me first , call me first lol. ( etc...)
What exactly does equal rights have to do with how you treat women you're dating? Is this stemmed from fear of rejection? Have you had bad luck approaching females in the past?
No I don't have bad luck approaching women if I'm feeling that this is who I want then that's what I'm going to do imma go and get her and if I get rejected ok there's no harm in that she'll either say yes or no.
And equal rights has everything to do with this because a woman was never able to be assertive or anything like that because she would be considered a whore. Men couldn't and still can't really show emotions because of social scripts. So basically if it was not for women's sovereignty woman would still be like owned property and women and men would never grow well the world. There are also woman who wish to be the ones to pay bills and propose to men , when they get married they wish to take the last name as the family name and etc so all of this ties to equal rights
I'm all for people trying to see things from the other perspective. It's eye-opening and fun.
No man wants to do all the work in a relationship. Given that you linked the "Modern Courting" article, things have changed. Society has changed. You women want equality? Then you shall be served equality. This is history taking its place.
I think why guy have to do this all the time.
I think if I call her out then I will pay if I don't have money then I will ask her to pay.
I mean if she has job then why don't we share that's only can make helping each other in a relationship.
If a girl love a guy why don't she approach him to ask for love.
Is it shame but I don't think so
Sharing and caring doesn't based on gender
I think we both have to do this
The way you write this post makes it seem like a bad thing. Gender roles are stupid social construct in my opinion. People should do what makes them happy.
No, actually they are biological. Men and women are very diffrent as you can see at a glance and are built for diffrent things. The genetic diffrence between a woman and a woman is 1%, the diffrence between a woman and a man is the same as between a human and a chimpanzee. It has to do with the a woman being vulnerable during child gestation/birthing/rearing and the high energy and time consumption.
there's nothing wrong in paying equally or the girl proposing the line is crossed when the guy expects to be taken care off.
Would you honestly be fine with a woman proposing to you? That wouldn't tug at your man ego a little?
Not a bit, if I have known her for a long time and she suggested that we get engaged I don't see what's wrong with that
No, I mean if she gets down on one knee in front of your friend's & family and proposes to you with a ring. Would you be ok with that, would that tug at your male ego? It's happening now: www.singleblackmale.org/.../
for me personally I`m a strong independent guy who couldn`t care less for the society statues quo.
So all this formalities and ceremonies don`t mean a thing to me, having said this if it means something to my girl that she gets on one knee and propose than I`m happy for her to do that.
jajajajajajajaj thank feminism for all this mess... but it will be fun to see the real backlash when it comes ;)
There is no backlash, people just have to be aware of that they are now evaluated as people, and not necessary as males or females.
have I said, at any moment, that I don't see a women as a person? or even as an equal? NO and I don't need to be a feminist to be aware of that... and neither should you.
Hey! What are you doing outside the kitchen?
Get back in there immediately!
... seriously, if women want it that way again, personally, I won't have a problem with it.
IDK!
I don't think I have seen that.
But, maybe though
I do see older women dating younger guys here.
but that's not that new.
You want equality right? or only when it benefits your gender?
I'm clueless to the fact why would equality in the work place affect your personal life & the way you treat women whom your dating to potentially be your spouse. That's got to be a turn off to any woman. You don't want to pay for dinner or you make a fuss about it, because some women make more money than some men? How does that even affect you in your personal life? Are you even dating women who make more money than you?
Get with the times or stay in the stone age. your choice
Boo! You didn't answer anything
i do still pay, but i still want to see her at least offer to pay, i like to know she isn't just in it for a free meal. i don't care if a woman makes more than me... at all.
If women want to approach, ask guys out, propose, or do anything else like that they should be allowed to with no social repercussions like others telling her she's desperate or slutty.
So do you only want equality in the workplace? Not where it works against you?
I'm clueless to the fact why would equality in the work place affect your personal life & the way you treat women whom your dating to potentially be your spouse. That's got to be a turn off to any woman. You don't want to pay for dinner or you make a fuss about it, because some women make more money than some men? How does that even affect you in your personal life? Are you even dating women who make more money than you?
Wasn't the whole point of men offering to pay for dinner because they generally earned more in the first place... I think the bill should be split because that's fair at the end of the day. I don't see why women can't ask men out either, why should it be the sole responsibility of men to forge relationships?
You're missing the point anyway. If women want to be treated as equals then that should extend beyond the workplace shouldn't it?
No I am not dating women who earn more than me as I am a student but I wouldn't have a problem with them earning more than me anyway.
Have you ever heard of romance? Most females think its cute when a guy sticks to traditional components of dating like holding the door open, pulling out her chair, paying for her meal. It's sweet. Yes, we both know that she can afford to pay for her own meal & open the door herself, but why fight it when you could just be a romantic gentlemen?
Why would you equate your personal relationship with a women to your relationship with your job/coworkers? Just because women are making more in the job doesn't mean they still do not want to feel special & be treated different from the rest. So if you are not dating women who make more than you why are you so bothered?
Yes I have heard of romance but I don't understand why you feel women are entitled to all of these romantic gestures. Yes, those gestures are nice but that doesn't make you entitled to them just because of your gender any more than a man is entitled to a better salary just because of his gender.
I can still be a gentleman, I'll offer to pay for the first date but that's it, I'm not made of money and I'm certainly not going to be splashing out all of my money on someone I barely know. Also, you seem to limit the 'romantic gentleman' to purely financial things. You can be romantic without having to spend a load of money.
It's not entitlement, it's common sense if you are dating a woman and would like it to continue. Also, where in the poll or in any of my comments did you see me post a guy has to spend a lot of money on dates? That is the ultimate hang up on guys like you. You have to pay attention to whats being presented & get out of your on head. If you mean "wine & dine" thats a figure of speech lol!
Holding doors open & pulling out chairs are financial things? Try reading for a comprehension. But my goal with you is finished, you've admitted you do not mind paying for the 1st date. So what was the real point of you commenting in the first place?
"It's not entitlement, it's common sense if you are dating a woman and would like it to continue."
No, it is entitlement. It's common sense to be yourself, and have a good time on the date. It is not common sense to try and buy love in the name of romance.
"Also, where in the poll or in any of my comments did you see me post a guy has to spend a lot of money on dates?"
Paying for dinner isn't cheap and if you go on lots of dates it will get quite expensive, paying for every single one.
"Holding doors open & pulling out chairs are financial things?"
That's a gender neutral thing, anyone can do that. I hold doors open for people all the time, people do the same for me, that's just politeness.
Well I commented because I think the idea of women proposing is fine, them asking men out is fine, them paying for a first date is also fine. I went on a date recently, offered to buy her coffee but she refused. I probably wouldn't pay for dinner on a first date, at least not until I earn far more.
Do you see what you just did there? You inserted money again where I did not. Why are you going on so many dates (multiple women or just multiple dates with one woman) or dates that cost so much? Are you trying to seem more financially stable than you truly are? So, you would be fine with a woman surprise proposing to you on a bent knee in front of all your friends & family?
You mentioned paying in your question that's why I keep bringing it up. In that last response I brought it up to merely point out why I mentioned it. You'd have noticed that if you read it properly.
Do you expect a man to pay on the first date? It only makes sense for both to pay really. No I'm not trying to seem more financially stable than I am and yes I would be fine with a woman proposing to me. I don't like public proposals though so not that part.
I don't agree with gender roles, they are for the most part weird to me.
Why are gender roles weird to you?
I've just lived my whole life without them so even if I wanted to do more "manly" things it would just feel weird.
Can you elaborate & how do you define gender roles?
"Men need to do this because they are men" "women need to do this because they are women" i just don't follow that, I can do something that women do and women can do something I do, it's the 21st century not the 20th.
I meant examples, because I highly doubt you've lived your whole life without gender roles. I've noticed a lot of guys say they don't believe in gender roles but they follow it to a tee, but don't identify with it because of the label "male gender roles", they will instead argue they are just good people with manners. Whats the point if you're displaying the same behavior, whether its labeled male gender roles or being humane/equals?
Okay fine not my whole life but most of it, and some guys still do follow gender rules, more power to them but I simply don't.
Why make things more difficult than it has to be? So now I am curious, how do you treat women you're dating?
I don't? And I've never had a girlfriend before lol
Whats going on here are you a homosexual (no judgement) or have you just never had a girlfriend? I ask this because, if you're gay, I've seen guys still sticking to gender roles & being chivalrous to their partner but if you've never had a girlfriend, it could be because you're making things too difficult. Women can pick up on guys who are not secure with themselves & who they are & it's not a turn on, guys can pick up on it from females too, that's how drunk chicks at the club or low self esteem chicks get preyed upon.
I'm not gay I've just never had a girlfriend before, I am working on it though. I know they can sense it and I'm working on it.
I can't stand so called "gender roles". Every individual has his/her role, regardless of their gender. For example, I'm submissive, therefore - I love dominant girls, but that doesn't make me "feminized".
My curiosity is on full blaze!!! I have to ask, as a submissive, do you approach women or do you wait to be approached? Would it bother you if the woman proposed to you on a bent knee with a ring? And the ultimate question why, as a man & knowing how societies view men as the dominant gender would you chose to be the submissive instead of the dominant? Is it like an escape from the pressure of always having to be the one in control/head of household?
I prefer to be approached, because I'm too shy. I wouldn't mind if she would propose to me, but she doesn't need to kneel down (I'm submissive here). I didn't chose to be submissive, it's just natural for me... assertive and bossy girls really turn me on, and I actually don't care about the society or public opinion ;)
Absolutely of course, been bitching about it for a while now. =3
So what do you do for him? I'm just curious because I always hear woman complaining about men not doing the traditional gender role but most of the woman also don't abide by there traditional gender role. So if he is doing all of this, are you cooking cleaning and being home with the kids (figuratively or literally speaking)?
I have not found "a switch" in gender roles, so much as I have found that too many of the women today *are not worth the bother*.
Sad to read you think that 😕
I would be more than happy to be proven wrong, but sadly too many women are simply too much trouble.
Asians evolved faster. We're already more feminine.
How is this? Could you go into detail?
Koreans is their tv shows are feminine :p:3
@BumbleSuperBee hahah yaa some of em
i know... lucky basterds :) im totally jealous
I can fucking vouch for this as a Chinese.
@FauxGirlNikki how are they lucky?
@Jeffry625625 God damned Chinese ey?
theyre lucky because they naturally look more feminine! i wish that were so for me as well! it would be a lot easier. lol
I'm an Asian and I'm not feminine!
There is nothing feminine about these things, it's all tradition. Take a look at other countries around the world with bizarre and unique traditions.
Can you give examples of these bizarre and unique traditions? & how does that pertain to this topic? Do you not think that if those customs were fading the people would still have the same conversations such as this?
There are traditions that women or men exclusively take part in different countries all over the world. Not doing so does not make you less of a man or woman.
Ya you ladies f'd up good. Hahahahaha!
You wanted equality. Now you have it. No more free ride!
Well, no regrets, to be honest.
I'm clueless to the fact why would equality in the work place affect your personal life & the way you treat women whom your dating to potentially be your spouse. That's got to be a turn off to any woman. You don't want to pay for dinner or you make a fuss about it, because some women make more money than some men? How does that even affect you in your personal life?
Women wanted equity across the board, as they should. Now it's here and women bitch about being expected sholder half the responcibility? I've payed for too many terrible dates, fixed too many women's cars, carried too many heavy boxes to care if women don't like it. Your time to step up to the plate is here. Pay your own way, approach and deal with rejection half the time, and be judged by your career like we are. Men have shouldered much, but now it is time for you women to shoulder half as well.
I have no problem asking guys out and after the third date, I don't mind paying or going dutch. The problem I see are the guys who mope about being single, but also b*tch about not wanting to wine & dine a girl. Maybe it's your fault with the women that you chose, doesn't mean all women should be lumped into the "ungrateful b*tches" category. What woman would date a man who doesn't make her feel special & different from the rest? Are you even dating women who make more money than you?
I now expect equality. I always make the woman I'm with feel special and different from the rest. But not in the I'll pay for everything and hound you for dates to somehow show you I think your special. Anyone and most everyone rely on these fairly easy dating relics. I have more to offer then that. And if a woman likes what I have to offer she can reciprocate. If we like each other we have wonderful times. I am not going to chase you like a puppy to feed your ego. I have no problems getting dates, and all women that I have liked have loved how I can and do make them feel very special. I know that I have much to offer and expect to be made to feel special too. The women who do, it's been great with and I have made them very happy. The women who don't, or want me to jump through hoops, can find a guy who has less confidence than I. I have dated women who make more than I and the rules are the same. Love has nothing to do with wealth for me.
Men are getting feminize and women are getting masculinize.
men is in the process of being new women and women is in the process
being new men. Recently, men look for masculinity from women and women look for femininity from men. The norm of gender are changing.
I can't remember if I've replied to this question or not
LOL oh hey, apparently I haven't
Us humans are more advanced, capable of rational thinking, more intelligent than any other mammal on the planet, why stick to their courtship rules?
Why not stick to them? In your opinion, what's the pros vs cons of not sticking with the courtship rules.
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Phalarope, that is an example of a female courting a male, so it is not always males
phys.org/.../...female-butterflies-males-sex.html, and another one, and besides, there would be less lonely people in the world if both genders went after what they wanted
Only the first part but not any of the other things
Calm down, turn off the caps lock you annoying parasite. Whether we're feminine or not we still want sex. Now shut up.
Que?
Well it seems women want to be like men these days.
Are you dating these women?
It's becoming more equal now. Now that equality is a big deal men are stopping doing everything in a relationship since women only receive in relationships
I'm clueless to the fact why would equality in the work place affect your personal life & the way you treat women whom your dating to potentially be your spouse. That's got to be a turn off to any woman. You don't want to pay for dinner or you make a fuss about it, because some women make more money than some men? How does that even affect you in your personal life? Are you even dating women who make more money than you?
I'm clueless to the fact why would equality in the workplace would affect your personal life and the way you treat men. Why would a women not contribute to a relationship and choose to be a liability. Men don't find a women who mooches off of them as a turn on.
And why would a women who wants equality in the workplace not want equality in a relationship. You would think a women would rather be an asset in a relationship rather than a liability.
I have no problem asking guys out and after the third date, I don't mind paying or going dutch. The problem I see are the guys who mope about being single, but also b*tch about not wanting to wine & dine a girl. Maybe it's your fault with the women that you chose, doesn't mean all women should be lumped into the "ungrateful b*tches" category. What women would want to be with a man who doesn't treat her special or different from the rest?
So you treat your personal relationships like you treat your job/coworkers? Is that what you mean when you asked, "And why would a women who wants equality in the workplace not want equality in a relationship...) Your relationship should never feel like or be handled like you're at work lol!!!
You have no problems paying after three dates. That shows you like to be treated better at the start then you treat them. After you get three free dates your fine paying. More like you should be paying because you refused to pay for the first three dates
Why would a guy want to date a girl If they all expect him to treat her while she just sits back and receives everything and gives nothing?
I like everything equal so both people feel like they are getting out what they put in. It works great for both people
So what exactly do you expect to happen on dates? Are you one of those guys who believe just because he paid for a meal a girl is suppose to sleep with him? That's crazy thinking. In dating both the male & female both know the female doesn't need the male to pay for her meal, but out of trying to win her over it's customary in courtship for the man to wine & dine her. Awww, do you want a woman to wine & dine you? Do you want to be put on the pedestal & feel special too?
I already told you I want everything equal.
No I don't want to sleep on the first date even if she wanted to
“Once made equal to man, woman becomes his superior” - Socrates
Yes. Everyone's gay. That's why I'm trying to leave.
Personally, I find being courted by females to be very flattering.
Here, where I live, the is no gender equality nor will be :(
Equality means that women have to do some work too. Of course they don't like that.
What does equality in the workplace have to do with your personal relationships?
Women paying at the restaurant, for example?
No, I mean how does equality in the workplace affect your personal life? Are you dating woman who make more money than you? How do you keep a chick interested in you when you're not treating her any different from anyone else?
Why would I not date women who make more money than me? In the best case scenario, she'll even make enough money to support both of us and I can stay at home. Right now, I'm working construction, which is physically tough and unhealthy, and I have yet to see a woman take up that kind of job. Equality doesn't go where it gets uncomfortable for women. And I do treat a woman differently from anyone else if I want to keep her interested. That has nothing to do with sexism, because I not only treat her differently from men, but also from other women. She's my special lady.
You're still answering in future tense, I mean right now in the present are you dating women who make more money than you?
What I'm trying to get you to graps is there are guys like you who take up arguments that don't apply to you. You do not make a lot of money so of course you should take a girl out on cheaper dates or just go dutch. Starting out with who's paying for this, is going to end the romance & you're going to come up short. Most females do not want to have to "wear the pants" in their relationships. We work & birth the babies, so what exactly is the man's role in your scenario?
This post was not about the money, but about the lack of romance, courting, and gender roles currently absent in the dating world. A lot of guys are so hung up on money and want to be courted like females, which is awkward to me. I highly suggest this article to you: jamesmsama.com/.../
Oh, I never said anything about sexism and there are women who work in construction/labor jobs, example: convicted felons.
I think I finally get it. You just don't live in the 21st century. I'm sorry for wasting both of our time.
Really, that's your response LoL!!! Why did you even bother to revive my old post?
I think we should all learn to live with ourselves first. If we love our selves then we can love someone else. I am bi and love all
I agree! Here's a derivative of that saying that I love. , "How can you love someone else if you do not first love yourself.
Feminists want women to be men and men to be who knows what, but not men.
Women want the privileges of being women and the privileges of being men with the responsibility of neither. Modern Amurica is the result.
Care to explain?
i notice it but i'm not that way.
Yeah because society is moving forward, and more and more people are realizing how ridiculous the gender roles of the 1950s are.
Isn't it what we call gender equality?
I think i saw a video like this on clipvia
I don't agree with gender roles
xx
~ Mrs Manson
Yeah Bitch this is the equality you girls wanted. Deal with it.
Care to explain?
No. Don't really care to explain
What's the matter? Can't formulate an intelligent argument? WHAMMY LOL!!!
how bout you be a good bitch shut up and stay in the kitchen. women are only meant to feed their husbands and pleasure them with their holes
Really, 7 days later & that's the best you can come up with? Please go read a book ;-)
gender roles are subjective, duh.
Care to elaborate?
Just my view...
Yes, it's your view, but do you care to elaborate?
I think that with whole question
Blame feminism.
Sounds bitchy, right, but there it is. We ask you out because you're pretty, we're sexualizing you. We find out enough about you that we're asking you out for your personality and we're stalkers. We ask you out on the wrong day and we're oppressor creep rapists. Fuck that, you can do the heavy lifting on the dating scene.
Personally, how has feminism affected you? Have these examples actually happened to you or are you generalizing?
Most of that opinion comes from being friends with a bunch of twentysomethings on Facebook, frankly. I'm happy in my current relationship, because she doesn't buy into all this rape culture bullshit.
May I ask, how did your current relationship begin?
I asked if she'd like to have lunch sometime. Thankfully she wasn't feeling particularly oppressed that day.
I such a tranny lol
I dont know