Firstly id like to say well done for being patient.
1) He could be withdrawing because he sees the situation as 'too good to be true'. He's probably been in similar situations where the girl is intrested and he's falls for her realising she was all Talk.
2) Shy people dont like change even if they know it's a beneficial change and one that they want. Familiarity is comfortable. That's why it's better to be freinds with a shy guy and then take the next step. U should act like freinds with him and this will make him more comfortable around u. He appears to be flaky because he doesn't know u well enough.
3) There's too much pressure involved dating. Alleviate some of this pressure by going out as Freinds or with other people. He'll feel more comfortable.
4) Sometimes a guy wants a relationship but when a girl gives him the opportunity he doesn't want it. Imagine someone telling u that u can go on holiday Tommorow and it's paid for. You'd want to go but it's not the right time or you have other priorities.
5) tell him you guys can be freinds and see where it takes you.
6) You say he's a virgin and you clearly pity him. Shy people dont need pity I hope u haven't told him that he's shy or quiet or whatever. Because society sees shyness as a negative trait. Therefore your reinforcing his behavior as he is more conscious that you can tell he's going to be more shy and it goes on a downward spiral from there- Psychology 101.
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Kayreub says it, I used to be very shy when I was younger due to some bad experiences and was always afraid a woman was toying with me when things got good (that happened a lot to me).
I have been in his shoes, you both like each other so just be patient, don't push him, just encourage him a little at a time. He sounds like he is yours. It can take a lot to get over past experiences and shyness, it took me till I was 29 and met a lovely lady to really change me, he sounds decent and probably a little afraid to disappoint you
That special night was with a guy made confident with some alien substance running in his veins... something that's not normally there. The daily weird guy is the real deal and he knows what he is, been told many times and can see it in the mirror.
I'm afraid that if this was a poll, I would vote for mentally/emotionally damaged somewhere along the way and even has a correctional medical history to tell. I sense danger to someone not professionally skilled in mental problems that would know how to diffuse a dangerous surprise turn of events or recognize when things are going to be out of control.
If you still think him sane, then the best insight on someone so covert will not be GAG guesses. Better to become friends with his family & siblings, then get insight from them once they trust you. Yes, I realize they may not be handy but if you're not going to give up, then more hard work ahead getting this invitation.
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I don't know how much this is going to help you but I offer it up anyway in the hopes that you may find it useful.
https://www.succeedsocially.com/shyguysI don't get why he went back to his shell. I see nothing that might have done that. Anyway, after good conversation he went cold and distant. He took time to open & shy people don't get cold suddenly after opening; unless you do something negative. From this story I don't think you've done anything. So, I don't think that he likes you as much as you think.
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