Why do girls and women stare at me?

its really weird, whenever I am on the train, in lectures, in a public place I find girls and even middle aged women staring at me. I am not one of those idiots who knows they are hot and wants other people to tell them, this is genuinely confusing behavior. a few years back people used to call me ugly when I was younger and I had no self confidence. I walked with my head down. this was only 4 years ago. nowadays my confidence is a lot better and people say I am good looking. I'm not sure about several things, are these women attracted to me, or do I just look weird like I always have and that's why they stare. also is it looks or my confidence that attracts women. a few girls at uni have come onto me, because when I am there I become sort of an alpha male and I think that might be attractive. I have no idea about anything. some days I feel good looking some days I feel ugly but no matter what women stare at me out of all the other good looking guys on the train. they don't stare and look away, a lot of the time they try and maintain eye contact with me. wtf is going on.


Most Helpful Girl

  • You're attractive! Point blank period. Women would not look at you and maintain eye contact and come onto you if you looked weird or ugly, they would probably just ignore you. You're so conditioned to think of yourself as ugly that you don't accept reality.

    • That maybe true, despite all the confidence I show it all one big pretense. I really have low self esteem I just put on an act.

    • I think she's right im going through the same thing and females of all ages look at me like a buffet. Live it up you deserve it this is redemption for whatever the trauma your breaking free of finally.

    • @Gwg197667 hey. Its the same with me but i start to hate it. My friends and other guys get jeallous (i think?) and start to slowly dissapear. I am looking for a way to make this stop!

Have an opinion?

What Girls Said 4

  • women won't usually look at ugly guys they may glance but
    if they're staring its because there is something attractive about you!
    dont under estimate yourself you must have something going on if there
    maintaining eye contact that means your wanted.

  • Its hard to say without seeing a photo. But, I can say that I was a "plain Jane" throughout my life. Never got guys looking at me. It was only after getting to know me that guys liked me. Now, at my age (in my late 30s), I suddenly have guys looking at me all the time. I have done a lot to make myself look better -- I work out, grew my hair longer, changed the color, dress nicer. Its nice to finally have guys looking at me -- but I wish it could have been like this when I was young and single! Perhaps you have grown into your looks & they are staring at you cause you're cute. It could also be that you have a "unique" look so people stare because they are intrigued. A unique look isn't bad--just different so it attracts attention. You need to post a photo so we can tell you what we think!

  • take it the positive way and believe that they are checking you out and you are attractive...if you're confident you shouldnt even care what people think..just smile back lightly and make eyecontact...it makes your day! =)

  • You sound a little paranoid. I think other people stare at me too, but that's usually because I'm staring at them.

    Don't worry about it. Try not to let it get to you even though that's easier said than done.

    • I agree this staring at you comment. People can just linger over faces and you happen to look up while they're on you.

      but it could be because you're good looking or weird looking. Any of the reasons you'd look at women, we'd look at you for the same reasons.

    • I am paranoid you are right. people do stare, but I don't stare at anyone. I just read the paper or play with my phone, so its not a reaction to me staring first.

What Guys Said 4

  • Mmkay,

    This based around various spiritual beliefs I have, It's not really attached to any one religion, it's just beliefs and things I know or have learned.

    Everyone has a soul, or at least a part of them that relatively inhabits the body. This "soul" can go "out of body" such as during sleep. The soul may also go partially out of body when people are daydreaming, wrapped up in their own thoughts, or various other ways. People who are sensitive not just in the five physical senses but in extrasensory (generally somehow psychic) perceptions as well, will generally be able to sense the energies of others around them. This includes people who don't know they have this sensitivity; If they sense someone is "out of body" or if someone has strong energies or even if they have much guidance (i'll come to that) they will notice that person but maybe not know why. This is what was happening to me, I was walking through the halls at school half out of body, and the people who had just that little bit of intuition or sensitivity were picking up on my state. This or something similar is what may be what is happening with you.

    Just a quick word on guidance; Many cultures and religions have had "angels" or spiritual beings in some form, on of the forms of spirits is as "guides". These are angels, spirits, sometimes of relatives who have passed on, whose job it is to help you on your life path. They try and guide you towards certain circumstances and are always working towards your higher good. To be able to communicate even somewhat with us, they need to come "down" to somewhere near the physical plane and there they are detectable, once again, by those who are sensitive. If several of them are following you (everyone has different numbers) it would certainly be noticeable.

    That's a theory, born of spirituality.

  • Whats up Xingyl Fighter? I'm in the same position, I believe not having a father present most of my childhood and being raised by my mother soften me up to a point were my confidence is shot. Throughout my childhood I was always "stared down" by women and even popular women in my grades. They were always nervous to say anything because I was a loser/nerd "a good looking nerd" = weird and not cool. I know. However as I grew into man hood I started to gain confidence in myself little by little. Sometimes women stare for many reasons, they could like you, they probably think they seen you before, or they probably think you look like the rapist they saw on the morning news. Who knows? Women are complicated just like their male counterparts. The best thing to do is test the waters. If that chick is staring at you and she is pretty hot or OK, smile and stare back. It might be hard to start conversation because of fear of miscommunication or rejection, so a stare is easier on the soul. Try a smile or muster a simple hey to show some intrest that you acknowledge her as she does you.

    I don't know why but women love to be noticed especially by that wanted special someone - its a woman thing! SOmetimes when women are staring at me on the 5 train, I do something goofy/funny to lighten up the mood. A good example; I was on the train with a friend, on my way home and I noticed these two chicks sitten beside me. One was Caucasian or Spanish - I believe, and the other was black with a large bottom (idk I find women with big butts and curves attractive, now and days its ideal to have a skinny looking model-like chick around your arm, however that's a different conversation and different day)

    - back to the story -

    I noticed the Caucasian chick kept staring at me, while her friend was talking to her. Now that's a dead give away, any women attractive woman that stares at you while her best friend is talking to her is looking for some good luvin. I stared back and smiled however I didn't make a move because she was with a friend and so was I. It was awkward! But when she got off her stop, as the train passed I looked out the train window and looked into her big blue eyes, she sticked her tongue out at me in a tease/playful manner and smiled - I smiled back and waved - lol "my friend was like did you see that tongue action! You got the Spanish [or white one] and I'll go for her friend [black one]" lol even though it never happened, however that one instance was enough to make my night, it gave me confidence to know that I am wanted / attractive. You are not alone - not all guys are matcho/ ubber alpha male confident - sometimes guys struggle with bearing the weight of being the alpha male. It is total fine - sometimes confidence comes natural to some people like my little brother and with others it grows on them, like you and I. I hope this helps!

  • This is probably going to sound kind of weird but it's just my explanation.

    I used to get this too (I still could, but I can control it now) when I was in high school. I'd walk around a corner into the hall way and 5 or 6 people would just look up and stare straight at me for no reason.

    This is where it gets a little... out there, for some people. If you could message me, I'll tell more of my theory (it's just a theory, mind) in private; Posting here is like shouting across a crowded room, useful when everyone is understanding of what's happening, but not the best place to spell out your credit card info.

  • i have a same situation! what should i do? it actually don't think of them staring at me because of me being attractive it's probably another reason. It started a year ago when i noticed a teacher of mine school staring at me while i was reading the book in front of the whole class and she asked me every day to read. Isn't it weird to ask me a shy person. After my classmate told me i became obsessed with it and tried to see in public areas to look for girls/women staring at me. Surprisingly i found many of them staring right at me along with some of the kids too!
    Would you please help me, if i should ask the first teacher who started all this in my Brain? Please tell me your opinion too on this matter.
    The guy on this website named xingyi_fighter has the same starting of the story but rest of it is completely different.

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