Why are my guy friends so mean to me?

Question

so i am in a group with about 7 guys and 2 girls including me. the problem with them though is they are so mean to me. they always say they are kidding like when i start becoming mad and stuff but they never say they kidding so i never really know. the other girl thats in the group is really pretty and they mess with her in a friend way kinda and never pick on her like they do to me. i read other stuff about they guy likes you but its seven guys and i know they dont like me like that. plus multiple guys in the group like my friend. so i dont know if they just geniually dont like me so they're mean, or if thats just how they are. they aren't mean to me all the time they are nice sometimes. so i am confused.. do they like me or hate me?

Answer 1

artist3363

Xper 4

Okay, I am a girl but I act a lot like those guys in a group with close friends. I don't have a whole lot of experience with the whole friendship/relationship combo, but I wouldn't take anything they say with more than a grain of salt. If it bothers you enough that you get uncomfortable when you're hanging out with them, insult them back and see how they like it (you may find this to be your new favorite hobby), or tell them to calm it down sometimes with all the jokes. Don't compare how they act with you to how they act with her, because you aren't the same people.

This is a common situation, but the girls aren't usually THIS outnumbered. My friend group for a while was five guys and two girls, but I just came back at them with insults until they learned that they shouldn't mess with me unless they want me dancing around that 'line' that shouldn't be crossed.

They certainly don't hate you, just talk a little more seriously with one or two of them about how you feel about it and that should sort the situation out.

Asker

+1 y
thank you so much
artist3363

+1 y
No problem! Now hopefully the situation sorts itself out with a few small nudges, but if you continue feeling uncomfortable, just dump them! You need to make sure you're happy before anyone else, so don't let yourself suffer in a toxic situation.
Asker

+1 y
thanks:)

Answer 2

Asker

thank you so much

Answer 3

artist3363

No problem! Now hopefully the situation sorts itself out with a few small nudges, but if you continue feeling uncomfortable, just dump them! You need to make sure you're happy before anyone else, so don't let yourself suffer in a toxic situation.

Answer 4

Asker

thanks:)

Answer 5

redeyemindtricks

Guru

Have you ever watched a puppy try to figure out how to play?

They run into walls. They don't understand what is biting too hard until you yell "OW". They can't hold toys. They randomly fall over sideways. They're generally klutzes, and they don't really understand how anything works -- including their own instincts -- but they are adorable.

Thus it is with boys, when there are girls around.

They might like you. They might not. They might be thinking about Doritos.

Just have fun and don't overthink it.

Asker

+1 y
thank you!!

Answer 6

Asker

thank you!!

Answer 7

Melirain

Xper 5

Are they mean to each other in the same way? Or only you, specifically? I have some guy friends who act like that, they're rude and throw insults at me, but they do it to each other too and I do it right back at them, because we're all joking.
But if the guys don't do that to each other, then they're singling you out, and that's not good.

Asker

+1 y
yes they are mean to each other in the same way. but sometimes its all of them against me. so am i thinking about it to much because i am a girl and not really used it? because my girl friends we aren't this mean.
Melirain

+1 y
If they're equally mean to each other, and sometimes gang up on each other like that, then they're almost certainly just treating you like one of the guys, as a friend. Especially since they're also nice to you much of the time.
The only reason they're not usually mean to your other friend, is that some of them like her. They don't think of her as "just a friend", they're probably trying to impress her and whatnot, so they'll treat her differently than their other friends.

That said, if it bothers you that they're sometimes mean to you, you don't have to stay friends with them. Just know that they're not singling you out because they dislike you, they're just treating you like they treat each other.
Asker

+1 y
okay thank you so much, that helps a lot!!

Answer 8

Asker

yes they are mean to each other in the same way. but sometimes its all of them against me. so am i thinking about it to much because i am a girl and not really used it? because my girl friends we aren't this mean.

Answer 9

Melirain

If they're equally mean to each other, and sometimes gang up on each other like that, then they're almost certainly just treating you like one of the guys, as a friend. Especially since they're also nice to you much of the time.
The only reason they're not usually mean to your other friend, is that some of them like her. They don't think of her as "just a friend", they're probably trying to impress her and whatnot, so they'll treat her differently than their other friends.

That said, if it bothers you that they're sometimes mean to you, you don't have to stay friends with them. Just know that they're not singling you out because they dislike you, they're just treating you like they treat each other.

Answer 10

Asker

okay thank you so much, that helps a lot!!

Answer 11

Checkers82 | 55 opinions shared on Guy's Behavior topic.

Xper 6

Well what kind of mean because I know a lot of my guy friends pick on me a lot too and I can tell they're joking so I don't get upset with it but is it just joking around or actual very hurtful stuff?

Asker

+1 y
they just joking around but they take it WAY to far. we were going to go to six flags and i said something and they went " we're going to make sure you sit by yourself on all the rides" and later they told me they were kidding. and sometimes the stuff they say is hurtful but they say they always joking.
Checkers82

+1 y
They didn't make you sit by yourself though did they?
Asker

+1 y
no they didn't.
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Checkers82

+1 y
See my advice would be just to roll with it because obviously they see you as a good friend but to give them just as much of a hard time. If you do find it really hurtful though speak up! It's important that they know where your boundaries are and what not.
Asker

+1 y
okay thank you. i will use your advice :)

Answer 12

Asker

they just joking around but they take it WAY to far. we were going to go to six flags and i said something and they went " we're going to make sure you sit by yourself on all the rides" and later they told me they were kidding. and sometimes the stuff they say is hurtful but they say they always joking.

Answer 13

Checkers82

They didn't make you sit by yourself though did they?

Answer 14

Asker

no they didn't.

Answer 15

Checkers82

See my advice would be just to roll with it because obviously they see you as a good friend but to give them just as much of a hard time. If you do find it really hurtful though speak up! It's important that they know where your boundaries are and what not.

Answer 16

Asker

okay thank you. i will use your advice :)

Answer 17

lkjhg69cum | 112 opinions shared on Guy's Behavior topic.

Yoda

Tell them exactly what you told us. If they keep acting like pricks then get rid of them, there are billions of people on the planet, get new friends. Don't let them get to you. Know your own self worth honey. To hell with them.

Asker

+1 y
thank you!
lkjhg69cum

+1 y
Any time hun. seriously though, don't. let anyone run you down. You are second to no one. Realize it and demand the respect that you deserve.

Answer 18

Asker

thank you!

Answer 19

lkjhg69cum

Any time hun. seriously though, don't. let anyone run you down. You are second to no one. Realize it and demand the respect that you deserve.

Answer 20

_SammyBoy_

Xper 3

They don't hate you. I am sure they are trying to make you jealous. It's how we are. I'm sure if you end up ignoring them for a bit, they'd come crawling to you feet.

Asker

+1 y
thanks!

Answer 21

Asker

thanks!

Answer 22

1Analyst | 72 opinions shared on Guy's Behavior topic.

Xper 5

Guys are like that with even other guys. It's a weird way they bond. Of course, they also being assh*les >o<

Asker

+1 y
ya guys are weird way of showing friendship. thank u!

Answer 23

Asker

ya guys are weird way of showing friendship. thank u!

Answer 24

PineappleBreath | 86 opinions shared on Guy's Behavior topic.

Xper 6

They see you as a bro, I mess with only the people I like and consider friends. They see the other girls as potential bangs.

Asker

+1 y
thanks that helps.
PineappleBreath

+1 y
Yeah next time they mess with you call him a shithead or a dick weed and then you'll both just laugh it off
Asker

+1 y
thanks again. i will try to do that.

Answer 25

Asker

thanks that helps.

Answer 26

PineappleBreath

Yeah next time they mess with you call him a shithead or a dick weed and then you'll both just laugh it off

Answer 27

Asker

thanks again. i will try to do that.

Answer 28

KayOwl

Xper 2

If they hated you they would've probably done super mean things. How your describing it, I would think that's just how they are.

Answer 29

BellePepper | 1.8K opinions shared on Guy's Behavior topic.

Master

Why don't you get new friends?

Asker

+1 y
we are in the same activities so its kinda hard to avoid them. i have some other friends and i hang out with them when we are doing this activity. plus i don't really want to leave my other friend alone with them because they are a little older and i dont know what she will do. she's a little ify..
BellePepper

+1 y
She's not standing up for you so she's not a good friend. She needs to work out her own like life you need to work out your own life.
Asker

+1 y
she has stranded up for me a couple of times but there's been so many times where she hasn't..
Show All Show Less
BellePepper

+1 y
Not a good situation.
Asker

+1 y
i know :(

Answer 30

Asker

we are in the same activities so its kinda hard to avoid them. i have some other friends and i hang out with them when we are doing this activity. plus i don't really want to leave my other friend alone with them because they are a little older and i dont know what she will do. she's a little ify..

Answer 31

BellePepper

She's not standing up for you so she's not a good friend. She needs to work out her own like life you need to work out your own life.

Answer 32

Asker

she has stranded up for me a couple of times but there's been so many times where she hasn't..

Answer 33

BellePepper

Not a good situation.

Answer 34

Asker

i know :(

Answer 35

Lavetta

Xper 4

I think that they see you as a friend only...

Why are my guy friends so mean to me?

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